By Spangle
spangle1013@msn.com

Rating :G
Category: Angst, MSR
Disclaimer: The characters you imagine
within aren't mine...if they were I'd be even
happier than I am!
Dedications: To my children, whom I can't
conceive of life without...Mommy loves
you more than life.  And to M&S, may God
forgive the powers that be for taking your son
away from you...whats up with that?  Thanks for
the beta Sallie...love you.
Feedback:  Only if you like it (g),
spangle1013@msn.com

He is so beautiful, so determined this little boy.
Already capable of astonishing single-mindedness
when he focuses his attention on something...
he is a child like none I've ever seen before.
I never knew I could love someone this way,
could want so much for someone, could
know, without hesitation, that I would give my
life for his.

I know she felt the same way...somehow I feel
her pain.  What it took for her to give him up...
is a love even greater than mine...and I know
it is a sacred trust she's given me, as I raise
another womans child.

He calls me "Mommy."  But when he says it,
I hear a question in his voice.  I know this is
in my head...he cannot know the truth...can he?

I wonder obsessively whether he remembers her.
He can't, I tell myself, but sometimes the far
away look in his vivid blue eyes tells me otherwise.

I hurt for her; snuggling my precious bundle in
my arms, laughing happily as he kisses my face
and I bury my nose in his darkening hair.  How
could she stand to give this up?  How could she
be that brave?  I know she loved him so very much;
she told me.

I didn't want to read the letter at first.  He was
MY child now, I didn't want to connect with her, but
I owed her...she gave him to me, so I opened the
envelope.

To William's mommy,

I entrust you with my son.  It is unfair of me to
ask you this, but I pray you will forgive me.
Though you are free to do so, please don't change
my son's name.  William is his father's son, his name
is the only legacy I can bestow.

When he is old enough, I ask only that you tell him his
natural parents loved him.  We wanted him so very
much.  We will think of him every day, carry him
in our hearts, our prayers, but for his sake,
we cannot be a part of his life.  Tell him he carries us with
him always...when he looks in the mirror, he'll
see us.  He'll have my eyes, and the rest he can
thank his father for.

Thank you, for everything... and one day, when he is
ready, tell him : "The truth is out there."

I think he already knows this, my precious boy.  He
knows his destiny waits for him, as she does...till
then, I'll love him enough for the both of us, and do
my best to raise another womans child.