by Sheryl Martin
 

Date: 22 Jun 1996 19:32:46 GMT

All Characters copyright of TenThirteen Productions and Chris Carter. No
infringement intended on any part... go ahead, take me to court...
I'm using the insanity defence... heh, heh, heh...

Comments, complaints and just plain talk to sheryl_martin@tvo.org

Summary: A frustrating day boils over into an unexpected occurrence...
Author's note: Yah, some body contact here... but I'm sure we're all used to
this by now, right???
and please be gentle... it's been a while since I tried one of these...
stop laughing...

At First... (NC-17)
by Sheryl Martin

"Scully?" The voice drifted across the cluttered office from behind a stack
of yellowed file folders.

"Hmm?"

"I think I've discovered where they hid Jimmy Hoffa's body."

"That's nice." Taking a deep breath, Dana Scully wiped the sweat from her
forehead and sighed. "Okay, where?"

"The same place they must file all these forms." Fox Mulder's head popped up
from behind the desk; a loose clump of dust hanging off one ear. "I can't
believe that with all the technology we have today; we still have to do
paperwork."

Grunting in response, Scully buried herself deep into the file cabinet she
had been cleaning. "Well, maybe if you had returned the files like the
librarian asked; she wouldn't have demanded you go through all these files to
replenish her resources. I've already found enough here to fill up warehouses
under the Pentagon."

"You too, hmm?" She didn't have to look at him to see the twinkle in his eye.
"I betcha there's an empty space beside the Ark of The Covenant..."

"Right, Mulder..." A sneeze escaped her. "Just keep cleaning, okay?" With a
grunt she pulled open the bottom drawer. "Just..." Her forehead creased as
she stared at the first file that met her eyes.

Scully, Dana... X73317...

The stark red and white file leapt out at her. Slowly she opened it and
stared down at the typed pages; thick and heavy. Lifting each page gently
with a finger, she read about the searches; the alerts to all stations in the
USA and abroad; the requests for information that had been denied by higher
powers...

All by Mulder. His name was on all of them. He had done nothing for months
after her disappearance except work on this particular case.

The black and white photo leapt out at her; grim and foreboding. Staring down
at the bound and gagged woman pleading with the viewer for help, Scully
shivered. She didn't even remember the photograph being taken - but the
emotions were still near the surface.

"Scully?" Mulder called out. Stepping carefully out from behind his desk, he
made his way past the stacks to where he had last seen his partner.
"Scully..." Rounding the last pile of papers, he stopped suddenly.

The redhead sat quietly on the floor; her hands clutching the loose pages
where they had fallen free of the folder. He recognised the pictures and the
contents immediately - he'd studied them long enough - and his heart sank as
he stared down at her.

Crouching down, Mulder balanced himself on the balls of his feet as he gently
reached down to touch the underside of Scully's chin with a single finger.
Tugging it lightly, he turned her face towards him.

"Scully?" He whispered softly. "Scully..."

She finally faced him; offering faint resistance against the insistent pull
of his finger. A single tear broke free from her right eye, drifting slowly
down her cheek to pool by the side of her mouth. Turning away quickly, she
swiped at the annoying moisture angrily.

"I... I just found this old file stuffed in the bottom drawer." Closing it
and putting it to one side, she sighed. "Just some old paperwork..."

Mulder nodded, but didn't move. Neither did Scully.

A minute later, he reached out and lightly touched her shoulder; leaving his
hand atop the soft fabric. "It's okay, you know..."

That was all it took. Whirling around, the strong FBI agent he had come to
respect as his partner reached out for him with both arms; her lower lip
trembling as she tried to keep some form of control.

Leaning forward, he took her into his arms; feeling the trembling start as
she began to cry uncontrollably into his chest, losing herself in him.
Sitting down awkwardly, he began to stroke her hair gently; rocking her back
and forth as the sobbing continued. Putting his face down into the soft hair;
he sighed with the inner pain of that long-ago failure.

He hadn't saved her. She had been "returned" by the same people who decided
to take Samantha over him - he felt it. And all the technology at his
fingertips; all the years of training and studying and working; all the
contacts and whispered rumours in the night hadn't made a difference in
bringing her back to him.

But she had returned. To him and to the X Files.

Mulder realised suddenly that Scully had stopped her weeping and was now
quietly resting against his shirt; eyes closed in exhaustion. Leaning down,
he saw the tear-stained face relaxed and at ease; the same expression she had
given him after she had pulled away at Pfaster's house - after he had
comforted her in much the same way.

At first he paused, torn in two directions by what he wanted to do and what
he should do. Then he leaned in and gently touched his lips to hers; tasting
the salty residue of the tears as he kissed her. Pulling back, he watched and
waited.

Her eyes opened slowly, a drugged haze covering them. Lifting a hand to her
lips; she stared up at him for a long second, then scrambled to her feet -
away from him.

Stumbling through the debris, Scully reached for her purse and jacket;
grabbing them as she headed for the office door. Mulder stood silently as the
sound of the door slamming shut resonated through the basement office.

Stepping over to his own desk, he stared down at the piles of folders atop
the wooden table; his hands on his hips. Suddenly lashing out, he scattered
the papers all over the room; kicking the wastepaper basket into the far
corner as he cleared the desktop with two sweeps of his long arms.

Leaning against the wall in the corridor, Scully heard the commotion and knew
what was happening. But all she could feel was the burning heat on her lips
and the roaring in her ears.

****************

Slamming the apartment door behind him, Mulder tossed his coat on the couch
and stomped into the kitchen. Stupid, stupid, stupid... the mantra that had
followed him home from the office continued.

What the hell was that, Fox Mulder? What did you think, that she was going to
thank you for stealing a kiss from her like some errant schoolboy?

The can of soup sloshed as he dropped it back on the counter before lifting
it again to dump it in the pot. Turning the heat up high with a flick of his
wrist, he tried to ignore the taunting inner voice.

Oh, yes... you had to go and do it. Cross the line. Give in to one of your
latest daydreams that crept up on you in the early hours of the morning after
watching adult videos all night. Oh, yes... all those little thoughts and
dreams that were definitely out of range - until today.

Swearing under his breath, Mulder rummaged in the back of his fridge to grab
the last can of beer. Sure wasn't going to sleep well tonight.

*****

Dana Scully lay quietly on the sofa, her eyes focused on the television
screen, but not her mind. One hand tucked up behind her head with the fingers
twirling the short coppery strands, she frowned.

Why the hell had she bolted? Her father would have been furious with her for
doing that, more for it being at work than for the situation itself. Face up
to it, deal with it... his words echoed in her mind. Don't run away from
things because they'll come back to you - with interest.

Great thoughts, Dad... but what about when your partner kisses you?

And you just might have liked it?

Rolling over, she buried her face in the pillow with a deep sigh. And it
wasn't even Friday and she could hide for the weekend.

******

The soup bubbled in an angry froth in the pot; splattering the stove top and
the wall with red slashes.

Propping his chin up with his hand, Mulder stared at the screen with less
enthusiasm than he'd ever displayed for one of his entertainment videos.
Punching the remote angrily, he tossed it into the far corner of the room and
watched the program change into a sitcom. Tearing the tie from his throat; he
unbuttoned his shirt, suddenly overheating.

What if she applies for a transfer? What would she say to Skinner... what
would he say to him if he asked about it? What could he say to make her stay
with him, with the X Files?

What if she still left?

The soup burst over the edges of the overheated pot; sizzling as it hit the
hot coils.

********

At first she couldn't decide what to do, even though she already knew. And
the inner struggle had continued through walking out of her apartment; the
drive to Mulder's apartment; even to the final minutes of standing in front
of his door and lifting her hand to knock.

Now she was here; knuckles poised to rap on the hard wooden door, and her
quiet voice whispered one last warning, one last temptation to turn and walk
quickly back to her car and never deal with Fox Mulder again. But the hand
fell against the door, and the voice went silent.

Mulder's head shot up at the sound. A light rapping... and he knew who it
belonged to; knew that sound as well as he knew the timbre of her voice. He
could just ignore it; claim that he was in the shower or not home or with the
Lone Gunmen...

But that would make him a coward.

And after all they had shared; after all she had gone through for him and he
for her, she deserved more than that.

With a groan he rose from the couch and walked to the front door. Paused,
then opened it slowly.

She stared up at him, a slight smile on her lips.

"Scully..." His throat was too dry to say anything else.

"Can I come in, Mulder?" The strain showed on her face. "Or are you...
'entertaining' someone?"

With a chuckle he stepped aside, allowing her entrance. "Well, I did have a
bunch of UFO groupies, but I just packed them into the closet with a
glow-in-the-dark book of stickers..." Closing the door, he turned to face
her.

They stared at each other without speaking for a few seconds. Scully tugged
at a strand of hair that had somehow made its way into her mouth; Mulder
playing with a button on his open shirt.

"Mulder..." She took a deep breath. "What's burning?"

Sniffing the air, he swore under his breath and dashed for the small
kitchenette that now bore a slight resemblance to one of the lower circles of
Hell. Grabbing a dishtowel, he expertly flipped the now empty pot into the
sink and turned the water on; coughing twice as the clouds of steam burst
from the sink into his face.

"Forgot something?" He turned to see Dana leaning on the wall closest to him,
a smile on her face. Shrugging his shoulders, he smiled back.

"It was supposed to be dinner. Now it's interior redecoration." Mulder
swallowed as he noticed how close she was to him now; within reach of his
touch. "Scully... about today..." He sucked in his breath over clenched
teeth. "I mean... I'm sorry if I... upset you..." If there was ever a time
for cue cards, it was now...

Crossing her arms, she diverted her gaze, focusing instead on a blank spot on
the wall that had somehow avoided the splashing soup. "The file... upset
me... I had forgotten how much work you had put in to find me." She sighed.
"And the photographs and the file itself..." Closing her eyes, she shook her
head. "I just forget sometimes how close I was to the edge - I know it must
sound odd, but I do."

Taking a step closer to her, Mulder opened and closed his hands; wanting to
take her in his arms and not knowing if that would make their current
situation better or worse.

"I know." He said quietly. "I wasn't thinking when I... well, when I..." A
hand waved in the air. "You know..."

"Kissed me?" A corner of her mouth twitched upwards. "Mulder, you can say it.
I'm not going to bite your head off."

"I'm relieved." The sly comment slipped out before he could restrain himself.
Wincing inwardly, he watched her. "So... do you want a transfer out?"

A frown creased her forehead. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I thought that after... I mean, you wouldn't want to work with me
because..." Again he was at a loss for words and she could see his confusion.
Taking a step closer, she drew in her breath carefully; feeling the heat  and
tension coming off his body in waves.

"Mulder... I like to work with you. I don't want to leave the section. I
don't want to leave you." Inhaling sharply for courage, she bit the bullet.
"And I think we could make this work - if we both want it to."

Rubbing the side of his head sheepishly, he pondered the words. "'It'? And
what, exactly, is the scientific definition of 'It'?"

"This." She whispered, suddenly rising up on her toes and brushing her lips
against his lightly; a cool breeze on his cheek. And then she was back on the
ground again and watching his face and waiting for his reaction and wondering
if her father would have approved.

Mulder's face remained expressionless for a moment, then burst into a huge
grin. Sweeping her up in his arms, he crushed her to his body; hearing the
gasp of surprise rush out of her body as she was buried in his shirt.

His arms tightened around her, gentle but firm. "Your call, Scully." A hint
of a laugh entered his voice. "Though I must point out that we will save the
Bureau money by only taking one hotel room on our next assignments..."

She sighed into his chest. "It's not that simple. They'll use this against
us; use it against you and your work..."

Pulling her chin up with one hand, he smiled. "They already have." He
whispered. "When they took you - they knew what it would do to me." Closing
his eyes, he shuddered at remembering those dark times.

Taking his hand in hers, Dana softly pressed her lips to the palm; the skin
rough and ridged. His eyes opened slowly, and she could see the wonderment
and confusion running through them.

"No more darkness." She said gently. "No more darkness for either one of us."
Lifting herself up, she kissed him again; the kiss longer and deeper and
hotter. "No more."

His eyes locked with hers; deep and dark and bottomless in their depths. And
she returned his gaze with all the love and compassion and hope that had been
bottled up for years and years; brought to the surface by his simple kiss a
few hours ago.

His hand swept around the back of her neck; tracing the small scar from the
implant and continuing around to tangle and swirl in the coppery strands. "No
more." He smiled. A devilish twist came to his lips. "However, I must note
that my bedroom light is burnt out."

"Duly noted, Agent Mulder. Some things are better in the dark." She whispered
back, sending his head spinning with the implications.

Slipping her hand under the open shirt and pressing her palm against the
exposed skin of his chest, she could feel the strong heart under her touch.
Slowly drawing it down his front, Dana smiled as her hand slipped over the
belt buckle and pressed lightly on the noticeable bulge in his trousers.
Revelling in the way his breath caught in his throat, she continued to touch
and tease, her eyes never leaving his.

His own hands hadn't been lax, unbuttoning the pink blouse and now slipping
it off her shoulders; his fingers dancing tentatively over the soft skin.
Running a hand behind her, Fox effortlessly undid the clasp of her bra with a
flick of his wrist; causing her left eyebrow to arch upwards in approval and
appreciation.

Her hands deftly moved to undo the belt and slowly slide the zipper down;
slender fingers "accidentally" rubbing the inside of the fly and tracing the
outline of the boxer shorts. Suddenly the bedroom door loomed in front of
them; a result of the slight shifting of the couple's feet as they moved back
and forth while disrobing each other.

Breaking the connection, Mulder found his voice. "I don't want... I mean, if
you think that..." A feather-light touch of a finger on his lips silenced
him.

"You know, for a federal investigator, you can be pretty dense at times." She
whispered. "I'm well over the age of consent and so are you."

Now his eyebrows rose. "Why, Agent Scully - are you propositioning me?"

"Three-pointer, Agent Mulder..." Her lips met his again.

Wrapping his arms around her yet again, the tall man lifted her up off her
feet. "Wait until you see my slam dunk..."

Muffling her laugh with another kiss, he easily carried her to the bed;
laying her gently atop the rumpled sheets. "Been a while since I made my
bed..." Fox apologised.

Throwing her head back with a chuckle, Dana pulled him down to her. "Then I
guess we'll have to lie in it."

Then they were both naked and touching each other; low gasps and sighs mixing
in the darkness. And Fox William Mulder wondered how he had managed to
survive until this moment.

At first their hands were tentative and hesitant; searching out each other's
most intimate spots with a mixture of urgency and restraint. But as each
secret was revealed; each inch of tender skin stroked and caressed and
kissed; the shyness disappeared to be replaced with a sense of wonderment and
of pure joy.

Looking up at her face, Fox grinned as he slowly made his way down her front;
feeling her muscles tense under him. Stopping to rest his cheek on her
stomach, he heard a sigh reverberate through her, and through him.

"Mulder?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you have any idea how happy I am right now?" He glanced up quickly to see
the moisture in her eyes. Nodding, he reached up to stroke the side of her
face with his hand.

"Well, if it's half as great as I feel..." An evil grin came over his face.
"But then, I'm not finished with you yet..." Dipping his mouth back to the
silky skin, he gently nipped and nibbled his way down to the coppery strands
at the juncture of her legs. Nudging them apart with his chin, he saw her
eyes widen with anticipation.

Resting his hands on her hips lightly, he began to stroke and tease her;
searching out all the areas that made her jump; made her moan and twitch.

Her hands went quickly to his hair; tangling and twisting until he
reluctantly pried them free and laid them at her sides on the bed; holding
them down with surprising strength as she arched and writhed under him.

Suddenly her body tensed sharply; her hips thrusting towards him as the sharp
cries shattered the night air. Collapsing back onto the bed, all Dana
Katherine Scully could think about was how empty her life had been up to this
point; and how it never would be again.

Quickly climbing back up beside her, he took her into his arms and rocked her
slowly for a few minutes; ignoring his own body's insistent need. Her eyelids
fluttered for a few minutes, then opened to stare into his; dark and thick.

"Yes." She smiled, breaking down so many walls with a single word. Reaching
out, she wrapped one arm around his neck; the other resting on his hip as she
manoeuvred him over her.

With a deep gasp he settled down inside her; his heart exploding as he began
to move back and forth; slow and steady. But the throaty sighs at his ear
sent him into a frenzy, until all thought was lost in the sensation of being
with this woman, being inside this woman, being part of this woman...

His arms tightened around her with amazing strength as a whimper escaped his
mouth; muffled in her shoulder. Wrapping her legs and arms around him in
return, Dana felt him slump against her. Burying her face into the thick dark
hair, she could hear his rapid breathing as he tried to catch his breath.
Rocking him this time, she increased her grip on him as she felt him try to
move away.

"Nope." She smiled into his shoulder. "No running away from this one."

He lifted his face to hers, kissing the sides of her mouth gently. "Wasn't
planning to, Agent Scully." He winced. "Though I must acknowledge that
certain muscles of mine are complaining."

"Lack of practise?" She teased as he slid off her, snuggling in beside her
and wrapping his arm around her hip.

"You could say that."

"I just did."

Rolling his eyes upwards in mock exasperation, Fox groaned. "And I'm stuck
with this for the rest of my life?"

Her mouth stopped on a retort, hanging open. "Wha... what?"

Leaning forward, he kissed her forehead. "Well, if we get married, then they
can't use blackmail, right?"

"But..." Dana's mind was spinning. "They could..."

"And they could not. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life worrying
about 'what if'." His eyes met hers again; reaffirming the connection. "You
can just nod - I'll take that as an affirmative."

She nodded, not taking her eyes from his. With a short laugh he pulled her
into a hug, rolling back and forth on the bed. Kissing her again, this time
long and leisurely, Fox drew a finger along her cheekbone as he released her.

"Sleep. We've got plenty of work to do tomorrow." Nuzzling the side of her
neck, he yawned as she pulled him close.

"Still got those files to look at." She could feel him smile where his lips
met her skin.

"Lots of files."

"Lots and lots of files."

****************

"You've become a world-class hopeless romantic."
"Not hopeless... hopeful. A world-class hopeful romantic."
Joan Wilder -- Romancing The Stone