by Medusa
medusafox@bigpond.com
 

Against All Odds
By Medusa

A Fuh-Q-Fest challenge story.
Challenge #2 - with a slight variation (it's allowed, Fest-mom said so). What constitutes "line of duty" for Mulder? I'm including his 'extra curricular' activities. See end notes (after you've read the story!)

Warnings: Are they necessary for this challenge? M/M sexual situations and some nasty language. Pairing: M/K
Spoilers: Nothing left to spoil. Set some time after Fight the Future, it doesn't matter when exactly, but during the time Mulder and Scully languished under Kersh's rule. Disclaimer: The usual disclaimers. Yadda yadda. Does anyone care anymore? Feedback to: medusafox@bigpond.com

Archiving: Exclusively to the Fuh-Q-Fest archive until the end of the challenge, then anywhere as long as it stays intact. I'd appreciate a note telling me where I can visit.

Summary: What? You say! M/K from Medusa? There's always a first for everything! LOL. I had this idea for a story when I read the challenges. It was going to be a Mulder/Skinner story, heavy on the MT. Next thing I knew, Alex had sauntered in and refused to leave. Anyway, here's all you get by way of summary. Mulder, Krycek, close confines. A leads to B, leads to C...

Thank you to my beta, the stupendous Bertie! The fastest beta in the west, er, north? (South) Any errors are no reflection on her beta abilities, more to do with my own stubbornness. ; ) And a very special thanks to Susan.

And a very big Thank You to Nikita for the Challenge Fest.

Dedication: This one is for Bear, because Bunny has had enough presents lately.

Completion Date: September 14, 2003

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Mulder's Apartment,
Wednesday 6:39pm

Mulder checked the items laid out on his bed one more time.

Night vision goggles, binoculars, flashlight, lock-pick, rope, bolt cutters, infrared camera; all the tools of trade for a modern-day would-be cat burglar.

What Mulder had planned for later that night was every bit as illegal as burglary in the strictest sense, but according to Mulder's standards, it was "information gathering" of the clandestine persuasion. Breaking into a government registered facility was not something Mulder took lightly, despite the number of times he'd actually done it. However, when there was the promise of benefit outweighing risk, as there was in this instance according to his informant, his desire to find out the truth behind one more fragment of the conspiracy drove him to take certain risks.

Which was why he was going alone. He was prepared to take a risk; he was not prepared to allow his partner to take the same risk. She'd ream him out well and truly when, if, she found out what he'd been up to tonight, but Mulder planned on slipping in and out quietly, taking the photographic evidence he wanted without raising a single suspicion that he'd ever set foot in the place. At least that was the plan and, again, according to his somewhat reliable informant, it should be a piece of cake.

It was a three hour drive out to the decommissioned Air Force compound and he needed to get moving. He quickly packed everything into the black nylon backpack and raced out the door. There was only a small pang of guilt at having lied to Scully on his need to leave the office a little early today so he could prepare. He'd told her he thought he was coming down with a cold. That would at least give him an excuse for tomorrow when he walked in looking like crap from having had a sleepless night.

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Somewhere in the middle of nowhere,
West Virginia,
Wednesday 11:20pm

There was no moon, perfect for a night of B & E. Mulder wiped the sweat from his brow with the sleeve of his black turtleneck. It was a balmy early spring night and the mile hike from where he'd parked his car, combined with the black sweater, gloves and ski mask, made things uncomfortably warm. But that didn't divert Mulder from his focus, which right now was to scramble under the chain link fence where there was conveniently loosened earth beside a large rock along the fence line.

The compound looked long deserted, with only two feeble security lights casting shadows near the almost derelict buildings. A perfect cover, but Mulder knew that underground there was a network of caverns housing evidence of the consortium's dealings with the alien colonists. Files, photographs, samples of human DNA. He didn't know exactly what to expect, but he'd been promised a bounty. All he had to do was get in, take photographs and maybe a file or two, then get out.

He easily found the promised trapdoor that led into an empty bunker. He closed the door after himself, slipped off the backpack and quickly found the flashlight. It took a good ten minutes to search the bunker and find the hidden doorway he'd been told about, then another five to figure out how to open it. He hoped that the level of difficulty he was already experiencing wasn't indicative of his informant's view of what constituted "a piece of cake" because this wasn't proving easy at all.

Finally he descended a steep, well-used staircase that was cut into the earth below. It was pitch black but for the narrow beam of his flashlight dancing across each tread as Mulder cautiously made his way down. He had been told that the place was unmanned, but he was leaving nothing to chance. Another locked door at the base of the stairs took a few minutes to spring, opening into a long corridor that curved away both left and right.

Mulder flicked off the flashlight, noticing a slight illumination emanating from floor level emergency lights. It wasn't quite enough to see clearly by, but Mulder thought that if the lights were on, it may mean he was not alone after all. He clearly did not want to attract any attention with his flashlight. Fishing again into his backpack, he took out the night-vision goggles. They picked up the available low light and enhanced it so he could see more clearly where he was going and, hopefully, see anyone else before they saw him. He slipped the pack back over his shoulders and set off in the direction he'd been told to go.

Following the map that his informant had given him, which he'd committed to his extraordinary memory, Mulder soundlessly twisted and turned through the maze-like tunnel system until he came to a door. It was unmarked like all the other doors he'd passed. This door, however, led to the Aladdin's cave he'd been promised. As he reached for his lock-pick he noticed that the door was already unlocked. His spidey-sense ratcheted up a couple of notches and he swallowed thickly. Shit. Someone else was here. He was trying to decide whether to go in or retreat for a while to see if anyone came out when he heard voices approaching from somewhere up ahead. Now he had no choice. There wasn't time to unlock one of the other doors and hide, he'd have to take his chances with what or who might be inside this vault, and hope like hell that no one noticed the unlocked door.

He leaned tightly against the wall inside the door, trying to keep his breathing quiet and hoping that the hammering of his heart couldn't be heard. He drew his service weapon, flipped off the safety and held it up beside his right shoulder, prepared for action. He listened for the sound of footsteps ringing on the concrete floor outside, waiting for any hesitation in the stride that would indicate discovery. The voices grew steadily louder and then drifted off, as whoever it was continued blithely on their way. At least that answered one question in Mulder's mind; his informant's information was not entirely accurate after all. No one was supposed to be here. Perhaps it was a random patrol, but perhaps not. He'd have to be very careful getting out again.

But first, since here he was, he was going to check what was contained in this hangar-sized cavern. Mulder stealthily made his way around the perimeter of the walls, looking for evidence of the person or persons who had gained entrance before him. He saw no one, but he could sense that someone else was there, hidden somewhere in the shadows.

The night-vision goggles illuminated the rows of filing cabinets and shelving racks in an eerie green glow. Mulder scanned the labels as he passed each set, itching to open the drawers and examine the contents, yet fearful of making any noise. He couldn't risk becoming engrossed until he'd found out for sure if there was anyone else in the room.

A faint click drew his attention and he slowly made his way towards the source of the sound, deeper in the cavernous room.

Suddenly, turning into another row of cabinets, he was confronted with a figure hurrying towards the door. It took a second to recognize the man who had come to an abrupt standstill in front of him.

"Krycek?" Mulder spat out incredulously.

Seconds ticked by as the other man realized slowly that this was someone who knew him, and exactly who that other person was. Krycek lowered the weapon he'd automatically pointed at the figure in front of him and was spurred into action. A quick glance over his shoulder, then a glance at the timepiece on his wrist told him there was no time for a lengthy reunion.

"Mulder! Fuck! We've got to get out of here, now," Krycek hissed and grabbed at Mulder as he sprinted past on his way to the door.

Mulder looked in the direction Krycek had come from, the question of 'what the hell was going on' died on his lips as there was a sudden bright flash and the concussion of an explosion threw him backwards. He landed heavily, hitting his head on the hard floor, and blacked out almost immediately.

Krycek fared a little better. Having rounded the corner, he was behind the heavy steel cabinets. He instinctively ducked as debris flew in all directions and cursed that the explosion had gone off a little earlier than planned. There would be more blasts to follow in just a few seconds; he had to get out of there quickly. He'd almost made it to the door when he realized that Mulder hadn't followed him. Cursing violently, and taking a split second to decide on whether to leave Mulder to die or not, Krycek dashed back to where he'd encountered the FBI agent.

Mulder was out cold, sprawled haphazardly on the ground. Krycek couldn't be sure he wasn't dead already. With no time for more than a cursory examination that revealed Mulder to be still breathing, Krycek grabbed one of the straps of Mulder's backpack and hauled the fallen man towards the door. He'd just made it out into the corridor and slammed the heavy door shut as another, bigger, explosion shook the ground. Krycek bent down to lift Mulder, effortlessly swinging the limp body over his shoulder, then started to jog off in the direction of the exit he'd planned to use.

Loud voices heading towards them forced Krycek to backtrack. Carrying Mulder was slowing him down. Again he considered abandoning his nemesis but, although Mulder could be a royal pain in the ass, he had no desire to leave him in the hands of the men who guarded this facility. They had orders to use terminal force on anyone who breached their security.

By sheer luck, and some expert ducking and diving, Krycek managed to evade the men he was sure were searching for them and make it to the exit. He was panting heavily by the time he broke out into the night air, the combination of steep stairs and Mulder's dead weight taxing his strength. More powerful lights had come on as a truckload of men in fatigues pulled into the compound, their assault weapons clearly visible in the light.

He hid in the shadows of an outbuilding as the ground rocked with yet another explosion. The lights flickered and then died as the power plant was taken out by another one of his well-placed devices. Taking advantage of the sudden darkness, Krycek ran for the fence where he'd prepared a spot for a quick getaway. He had to drop Mulder to the ground to crawl through then tug the unresponsive body after him. They weren't home free yet, but it was only a short distance now to where Krycek had a place, somewhere to hide until it was safe to leave the area.

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Somewhere in the middle of nowhere,
West Virginia,
Thursday 2:47am

The cave was one of a network of deep caves in the area, the entrance very carefully camouflaged. Krycek had been here for a week, preparing for tonight. Unseen, undetected, surveillance for a mission that should have been as easy as shit for him, and would have been if that idiot Mulder hadn't gotten in the way.

Krycek carefully laid the still unconscious Mulder down on the camp bed in the corner. He stripped the goggles, ski mask and backpack off him and felt the back of Mulder's head. His fingers came away sticky with blood. There were no other obvious injuries, although Krycek was no doctor and realized he could easily miss something life-threatening. But right now they had no other options; they had the field med kit or nothing. If Mulder had any internal injuries he was screwed.

"You are one dumb-fuck, Mulder," Krycek cursed as he pulled a field dressing from its wrapper and lifted Mulder's head so he could apply it to the sizeable lump that was still oozing blood.

Mulder groaned, the first sign of life since the explosion, and Krycek sighed in relief.

"Mulder. Hey, Mulder. C'mon, wake up."

Krycek shook him gently and Mulder groaned again, his eyelids fluttering.

"That's it."

Deciding that he needed a little help, Krycek found and popped open the vial of smelling salts and waved it under Mulder's nose. It had the desired effect and Mulder was awake in an instant. He sat bolt upright, gagged and promptly threw up all over Krycek's boots, before sagging back with an agonized groan.

"Oh, God. What hit me?" he rasped, laying back down and dropping one arm over his face.

Horrified, Krycek stared down at the stain on his boots.

"You are so gross, Mulder."

He recapped the smelling salts and threw the vial disgustedly back into the kit. That hadn't been one of his brighter ideas, but it appeared that the one saving grace was that Mulder obviously hadn't stopped for dinner before his little black ops expedition. He stripped off his boots and tossed them into a corner -- he'd clean them later -- then scraped the defiled dirt up off the floor with a shovel and took it deeper into the cave where he'd dug a latrine. When he returned, Mulder hadn't moved and he was concerned.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Just fucking peachy," came the growled reply. "What the hell happened?"

Mulder sat up again, more slowly this time, keeping his eyes closed and holding his head with one hand. He swung his legs off the side of the cot and leaned back slowly until he was resting against the cave wall. He winced as his head touched the rough surface and ran his hand back over the dressing.

Now that he could see that Mulder was relatively all right, smoldering anger bubbled up inside Krycek's chest.

"What happened? You happened, Mulder. What the fuck are you doing out here? You nearly got us both killed."

"There was an explosion..." Mulder seemed to be trying to piece together events for himself. "The evidence..." His eyes flew open and he tried to sit up straighter, but quickly realized his mistake and sagged back, blinking hard. "You destroyed it. Shit." He rubbed his hands over his eyes, scrubbing at them.

"What evidence, Mulder? There was no evidence!" Krycek spat the words out. "I was destroying a pile of crap that was going to be used to set up a lie. One that you would have fallen for hook, line and sinker. It seems I was almost too late. I was saving you from yourself, you dumb fuck."

Krycek paced up and down in the relatively small space he'd turned into living quarters. Turning back to Mulder, he noticed the other man staring into nothing, an almost blank look on his face.

"What's the matter? Can't understand why I'd be willing to save you from humiliating yourself further? Believe me, it wasn't my choice." The sarcasm fairly dripped from his words.

Mulder swallowed convulsively. "N-no," he stammered. "I... Krycek, I can't see anything... except bright flashes. My eyes hurt."

What the...? Krycek took a moment for Mulder's words to sink in. Why would his eyes hurt? He'd had on goggles... Oh, shit. Krycek searched a moment before finding the goggles he'd taken off Mulder earlier. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Mulder had been wearing night-vision. The flash from the explosion... it would have been intensified. Christ! With an angry roar, Krycek pitched the offending object in the general direction of his boots.

"Only you, Mulder," he sighed. "You had on night-vision goggles. I think you're suffering from flash blindness, from the explosion. Maybe... maybe it'll go away in a little while."

He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince himself or Mulder more. These things were only temporary, right? He'd seen a few episodes of daytime hospital dramas, and the patient was always lucky and recovered.

Except this was real life. This was Mulder. And since when was Mulder ever lucky?

"We... we've got to get out of here," Mulder stuttered, standing, swaying dizzily as he stumbled forward a step. "I need to get to... to Scully. She'll know what to do."

Krycek grabbed Mulder and sat him back down before he fell, sitting next to him.

"We can't. By now black ops will be crawling over every inch of ground for ten square miles. We're safe if we stay here until the heat dies down. We're dead if we go out there and they find us."

Not to be swayed, panic robbing the ability to think clearly, not to mention his king-sized headache, Mulder continued to babble on. "My car is only a mile or so from the compound. We can get to it and get away."

"Yeah, right! I'll bet that's the first thing they found. If it's still there, which I doubt, they'll be waiting, expecting just that kind of stupid move. No, we stay here until I say it's safe to leave." Krycek paused, then continued in a too-reasonable voice. "But, of course, if you think you know better, feel free to go."

Krycek stood, walked a few steps away to emphasize his point, and leaned casually against the rock wall. He watched in amusement as the wheels turned in Mulder's complex head. He watched as stubborn determination took root in the soft features. Watched as Mulder stood shakily and stepped forward, one step. Then two. His hands in front of him searching for obstacles. Mulder actually made it four steps before stumbling over a supply box, almost crashing to his knees. Krycek watched silently as Mulder picked himself up, not so certain of himself any more. Mulder turned slowly in a circle, hands groping, the determination replaced by growing frustration as he tripped on another box.

"K-Krycek?"

Knowing he should answer, but wanting to teach Mulder a lesson, he stayed silent.

"Krycek?" Mulder's plaintive voice was becoming tinged with panic now. "A-Alex? Please? Where are you?"

Shit. I should just let him fend for himself, thought Krycek, but seeing Mulder vulnerable like this turned him soft inside. He was so used to seeing Mulder arrogant and self-assured, seeing him like this threw him for a loop. He stepped forward and touched Mulder's shoulder, startling the other man badly.

"It's all right. I'm still here."

Mulder all but threw himself into the safety of Krycek's arms. "Thank God. I thought... I thought you'd left me alone," Mulder practically sobbed, instantly ashamed of how needy he sounded but unable to stop a single tear as it escaped down his cheek.

Krycek led Mulder back to the bed and helped him sit. Something twisted inside of him as he saw Mulder swipe angrily at the tear, those beautiful but sightless eyes staring through him. He sat beside Mulder and impulsively pulled him into an embrace. Mulder didn't resist, in fact he buried his face in Krycek's shoulder and wrapped his arms around the strong body that held him.

With gasping breaths Mulder whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm just so scared. I thought you'd gone. And I can't... I can't see."

Krycek rubbed soothing circles on Mulder's back and shushed him. "It's okay, I'm here. I'm here. I won't leave you."

He rocked him gently for a few minutes until he realized that Mulder had gone very quiet. Glancing down he saw that Mulder had fallen asleep. Probably not a good idea with that bump on his head, but Krycek figured that Mulder had been traumatized and needed some rest to get over it. He laid him gently down on the cot and covered Mulder with the blanket. He'd let him sleep for just a little while.

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A cave,
Somewhere in the middle of nowhere,
West Virginia,
Thursday 6:07am

Mulder woke suddenly. He blinked as he tried to sort out where he was. He couldn't see, but he was fairly certain he was neither in his bed nor on his couch. As his sleep-fogged brain slowly cleared, he remembered. He was in West Virginia, there had been an explosion, he was in a cave with Alex Krycek and... he still couldn't see. The bright flashes were still there, burning his retinas, but other than that there was darkness. Then he became aware of one other thing.

There was a warm body nestled up closely behind him on the narrow cot.

His first reaction was outrage, but then some deeper need made its presence felt. He could only put it down to his current condition. The loss of his sight had upset him badly, and regardless of whether it was only temporary or not, right now he needed some kind of connection to another human being. And since Krycek was the only warm body that was within arm's length, it would have to do. It didn't mean anything.

The other man's voice rumbled behind him. "You're awake. Good. I thought I was going to have to wake you to make sure you hadn't gone into a coma from that concussion."

Mulder felt his companion lean up onto one elbow, losing a bit of the body contact they'd been sharing. "How long have I been asleep?" He yawned.

"Couple of hours. I'm gonna make some breakfast, you hungry?"

Mulder thought about that for a moment. Dread was already filling his stomach, he wasn't sure there was room for anything else. "Not really. I could use some coffee, though."

Krycek rolled off the bed. "I think we can risk coffee. I've got smokeless fuel and we're far enough underground to go undetected if they use heat seeking equipment. Just as long as we cook during the day when the ground temperature is high enough to hide the extra heat."

Mulder hadn't thought of that, and he said so.

"Which is why, my dear Mulder, I'm so successful at what I do. I think of everything and I don't take stupid risks." Krycek sounded rather smug.

"Not to mention wearing night-vision during an explosion, right?"

Krycek sighed and paused in his rummaging for breakfast items. "Look, Mulder, if I'd known you were wearing those, I'd have warned you. Not that there was much time for anything. The charge went off a little early, it wasn't supposed to. Explosives aren't my forte. I'm... sorry."

Mulder didn't know quite what to say. He mumbled something like, "That's okay." He wasn't used to Krycek apologizing to him. Would it have made any difference if they'd had more time? Probably not. He knew that Krycek wouldn't have been able to force him to leave until the very last second, not while there was the promise of all that information. Gone now, but probably worthless to begin with. Which led him to another problem. Had he been set up? By whom? For what purpose? To feed him false information? Just like when Kritschgau told him he'd been fed so many lies? Was he really that gullible? Shit, he didn't know. Maybe he was. Thinking about it all just brought his headache back.

There were more immediate problems he had to face, though, and one of them was becoming a pressing need. He stood up on wobbly legs, feeling a little light headed and hoping he wouldn't fall flat on his ass.

"Umm, Krycek?"

"What, Mulder?"

"Which way is the bathroom?"

Automatically, Krycek pointed to the back of the cave, then shook his head ruefully as he realized his mistake.

"Come on."

He picked up Mulder's right hand and placed it in the crook of his own left elbow. Mulder recoiled at the feel of the prosthetic at first, then settled his grip firmly around the "bicep". Krycek maneuvered slowly through the maze of boxes that still held supplies, mentally chiding himself for leaving them lying haphazardly around. He'd tidy up after breakfast. Mulder shuffled hesitantly along beside him, not trusting the ground beneath his feet. He grunted as he tripped on a loose rock that Krycek had stepped over but unthinkingly let Mulder find on his own.

"Sorry."

"You have to warn me, Krycek; otherwise I might as well stumble about on my own," Mulder said with more bravado than he actually felt. Left to stumble on his own, he was sure he would sit cowed in the corner and not move an inch. And it worried him that he was finding it so hard to cope with his sudden disability when he'd weathered just about everything else Life had thrown his way.

They came to a stop in front of a shallow trench.

"It's not much, just a hole in the ground, really," Krycek apologized. "Do you, um, need any help?"

"I think I can manage. I'll call you when I'm done."

Mulder waited until Krycek had gone back to the outer cave before inching one foot out to see where the trench began. This wasn't going to be as easy as he thought. Maybe he did need Krycek's help. Oh fuck! He wasn't going to ask another man to aim his dick while he peed, that would be too humiliating. Far less humiliating to squat down on his hands and knees and feel where the trench began.

Krycek watched from the edge of the cave as Mulder squatted down, felt around, and then released his bladder. He felt like a voyeur watching the blissful expression as Mulder let go, but he managed to convince himself that he was only watching to make sure Mulder didn't fall and hurt himself. Of course, he'd never admit to Mulder that he'd done it. He was careful not to respond too quickly when Mulder called him, lest Mulder realize that he'd stayed so close.

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Despite protesting that he wasn't hungry, Mulder managed to eat some dry biscuits and a small can of fruit from Krycek's supply of Army-issue MRE's. The coffee was the most wonderful he'd ever tasted, he thought, and the smell... or perhaps that was because his other senses were compensating for his lack of sight. Shit. He didn't want to dwell on whether he was going to see again or not, the very thought that this could be 'it' was enough to make his stomach churn and almost send his breakfast back up.

Krycek finished wolfing down his own food and noticed Mulder sitting, running his fingers a little too intently over the contours of his spoon. The other man looked a little pale. He took a gulp of his coffee before speaking.

"Are you all right, Mulder?"

Was he? Hell if he knew.

"I-I think so."

"You're not hurt anywhere else?"

Shit, since when did Krycek care? Mulder sighed tiredly. "And what could you do about it if I was?"

Krycek shrugged. "Dunno. Not a lot, I guess."

"When can we get out of here?"

Krycek's turn to sigh. Not as soon as he'd have liked, he suspected. There was no question that Mulder needed a professional opinion on his injury, and there was no telling if the delay in seeking medical help was going to hinder his recovery. Guilt was Mulder's thing, Krycek was damned if he was going to start feeling guilty over Mulder getting hurt. He hadn't asked the bastard to be there last night.

Krycek stood and gathered the debris from their meal.

"I don't know, Mulder. It won't be safe to scout around until after dark tonight. If it looks clear enough, we could probably head out around midnight."

Mulder nodded. "What time is it now?"

"It's around 8:15am. It's gonna be a long day if you keep asking the time, Mulder."

Ignoring that remark, Mulder said, "In about ten minutes Scully's gonna start to wonder where I am. I figure that within an hour she'll have called my cell and apartment ten times, and be pounding on my door."

"Christ." Krycek rubbed his hand through his hair. "Does she know where you are?" Would Scully arriving with the cavalry be a good idea or not?

Mulder had the good grace to look sheepish. "Um, no. I left work early yesterday. Told her I was coming down with a cold. She doesn't have any idea that I was headed out here."

"Well, that's probably a good thing. I think the less attention this place attracts, the better."

"What the hell does that mean, Krycek? What exactly is down in those vaults?" Mulder seemed to be heading into full investigator mode.

"Forget it, Mulder. You don't want to know what's down there. It's not important."

"No? It was important enough for you to want to destroy it!" Mulder stood angrily, toppling his chair over behind him.

Krycek was saved from having to answer when he had to jump to catch Mulder as he began to keel over. He wrapped his arms around Mulder and led him once more over to the cot.

"You'd better lie down, Mulder, before you fall down. I thought you said you were okay?"

Mulder didn't want to lie down. He sat on the edge of the cot, rested his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. His face scrunched up in discomfort.

"I'll live, Krycek. I got a little dizzy, is all."

Not quite believing him, Krycek persisted. "So where else does it hurt?"

Stubborn silence answered him.

"Come on, Mulder. I need to check that bump on your head, I might as well check out anything else that hurts while I'm at it."

"God, you sound just like Scully. If you must know, I hurt all over."

"Anywhere specifically that I should know about?" More hesitation from Mulder. "Look, I just don't want any surprises, okay?"

Mulder sighed and gave in. "I have a headache, Krycek, and my back hurts. Happy?"

"Let me take a look."

"What? No. It's okay..." Mulder's head snapped up and he winced.

But Krycek wasn't taking no for an answer. He grabbed the hem of Mulder's sweater and pulled it up at the back. He gasped, partly in appreciation of the long expanse of smoothly muscled flesh, and partly at the ugly purple bruises that covered it from hip to shoulder blade on the left side. A cluster of darker, red angry looking welts had formed where Mulder had landed on top of his backpack of tools.

Krycek traced the welts delicately with one finger and Mulder shuddered.

"I can put something on these bruises, it'll take some of the pain out of them."

Mulder said nothing, so Krycek pulled a tube of cream from the med kit and squeezed a generous amount onto Mulder's back. The other man shivered at the coldness, but otherwise didn't move. Krycek slowly massaged the ointment in, taking his time to thoroughly cover every inch of Mulder's back. His hands caressed the muscles in those swimmer's shoulders, down the flanks of the long back, down to the prominent hip bones and up the ridged spine. He was sorry when he had to stop, and considered adding another dollop of cream, just to continue the contact.

"Mmmm." Mulder purred like a cat. "That feels good." He lay down and stretched out along the length of the cot, feeling sleepy.

Krycek licked his suddenly dry lips. "It works best if you apply some heat, but I don't have a heat source."

"Mm." Sleep was catching up fast with the injured man.

Tentatively, Krycek lay down on the cot behind Mulder, pressing his body into the other man's back. Mulder didn't object and Krycek slipped his right arm around him, pulling him close. Soon both men were sound asleep.

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Krycek woke first. He slid off the camp bed before giving Mulder a gentle shake. Mulder responded sleepily, not waking fully but enough to satisfy Krycek that the concussion he'd suffered wasn't causing any serious problems. He let Mulder go back to sleep while he set about tidying up their cave, making it 'Mulder-proof', and replenished the glow lights that illuminated the cave slightly. Keeping busy helped to get his mind off the warm body sleeping not fifteen feet from him.

Mulder slept for most of the day. Krycek considered waking him again, to both check on his responsiveness and get him to eat, but thought better of it. Sleep was the body's way of healing and Mulder needed lots of it. He figured Mulder would wake if he got thirsty or hungry.

Finally, around late afternoon, Mulder surfaced. It was probably the smell of the meal that Krycek had begun preparing that awakened him.

"Watimizzit?" He mumbled, stretching his aching body out along the length of the camp bed.

"Around five-thirty," Krycek replied. "I figured that if we wanted anything hot to eat, I'd better get it ready now. The sun will be going down in a couple of hours and we don't want any hot spots to give us away."

Mulder nodded. He remembered what Krycek had said before about it.

"What's for dinner?" Mulder asked, his appetite returning.

"Nothing fancy. Some reconstituted beef curry, beans, dry biscuits. I made some fresh coffee if you want it."

"Thanks. Can I have some water?" Mulder sat up on the side of the cot and tried to orient himself to where Krycek's voice was coming from.

"Sure." Krycek pressed an unopened bottle into Mulder's hands. "How are you doing?"

Mulder considered his answer for a moment. How was he doing? His headache was practically gone, his back was stiff and a little sore but he could live with it. The bright flashes were gone, but in their place was total darkness. He sighed. "Okay, I guess. But I still can't see anything."

"I, uh... The food's nearly ready. I cleaned the place up a bit, you know, so you wouldn't fall over stuff."

"Thanks. I guess I should get used to finding my way around in the dark, huh?"

"Look, Mulder..."

"No." Mulder put up a hand to stop Krycek from saying anything more. "Don't say it. It's not your fault."

"I wasn't about to apologize or suggest that it was my fault. You were the one who stumbled into my operation. I didn't set you up for this." Krycek was getting a little angry and he banged down the spoon he'd been using to stir their dinner.

"You're right," Mulder agreed, in an almost whimsical tone. "It's not your fault. It was my mistake. I should know better than to trust secret informants by now. At least no one else got hurt this time." He paused then frowned, suddenly concerned. "You aren't hurt, are you, Krycek?"

"No, Mulder. I'm not hurt." Not physically anyway, he added silently. "Come and eat."

Mulder stood up and cautiously paced forward a couple of steps, one hand outstretched. Krycek was setting their meal out on the table and glanced up.

"Three more steps, chair's on your left." He saw the tension seep away as Mulder confidently followed his instructions.

Mulder sat, and felt around on the table until he located a spoon and his dish. He sniffed at the food and wrinkled his nose. "I thought you said this was beef curry?"

"That's what the package said. Don't blame me if it tastes like crap. I didn't make it, I just added water and heat."

Krycek sat and ate his own meal, watching Mulder do the best he could with the spoon, guiding it around the bowl with the fingers of his other hand. He figured that it was best to leave Mulder to cope on his own, that Mulder would ask for help if he needed it.

"I'm going to wait until the sun's been down an hour or so and then I'm gonna scout around. Hopefully the goons will be gone and we can get out of here," Krycek informed Mulder.

"How are we going to get out? You said my car wouldn't be much help."

"It won't. We get out the same way I got in here to begin with. On foot."

Mulder stiffened. Krycek honestly couldn't expect him to walk out of here, could he? When he'd driven in -- God, was it only last night? -- there had been nothing around for miles.

"I don't know if I can do that." Mulder hated to admit it, but he was scared shitless at the very thought of it.

"Yeah, you can. You have to. Unless you want to stay here by yourself?"

Mulder went very still and very quiet. Krycek wouldn't leave him here, would he? He had to decide which was the lesser evil. "I'll be fine. I can do it."

Yeah, thought Krycek, he would do it, too. Even if he had to crawl out of here on his hands and knees. Mulder was just cussedly stubborn enough. That was good, because he was going to need every ounce of that stubbornness to make it.

Over the next hour or so, Krycek helped Mulder to pace out the confines of the cave so he could find things like the latrine and get safely back to their quarters if he needed to, for the time that Krycek would be gone. Hopefully it would only take him two or three hours to check whether it was safe to start their trek out of the area.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, Mulder." Krycek sighed at the fine twitch of Mulder's jaw muscles that belied the confidence the other man felt at being left alone.

"Sure."

He heard Krycek check his weapon one more time then leave. Left on his own, Mulder felt that he'd never been so alone in his entire life.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A cave,
Somewhere in the middle of nowhere,
West Virginia,

He couldn't be sure how much time had passed, but surely Krycek should have been back by now? The absolute quiet inside the cave was beginning to drive Mulder crazy. Only the shuffle of his own feet broke the silence as he paced periodically. His ears strained to hear any sign of Krycek's return, and his vivid imagination began to conjure up images of the black ops team finding the cave and him helpless to fight them off. Or worse still, of Krycek racing off and leaving him here alone.

Maybe he would be better to take his chances with the black ops. But if they didn't find him, how would he find his way out of here? He had no clue as to which direction to take, even if he found his way out of the cave. He began to feel sure that he was going to die here, alone.

Mulder tried to calm himself, knowing the futility of panicking. He found his way over to the cot and forced himself to lie down and try to get some sleep, but he just wound up staring into nothingness, his ears straining even harder to detect any sound at all other than his own harsh breathing. Never having been prone to claustrophobia, Mulder now wondered if he should add it to his list of Things He Hated -- he refused to call them phobias.

He went through the list in his mind. There was fire, definitely, and bugs. He didn't particularly like snakes, either. Claustrophobia didn't rank up there with any of them, not even after being locked in with that bomb in Dallas. He guessed he was too scared of the bomb to worry about actually being in a confined space at the time.

Bomb. Christ, it was a bomb that messed up his life then, causing him to lose the X Files; and another had taken away even more of his life last night.

Krycek had said he'd left the glow sticks burning, but Mulder couldn't see any light at all. Was this how it was going to be for the rest of his life? He didn't know if he could cope. He certainly wouldn't be able to do field work. He'd never get the X Files back. He'd be lucky if Kersh let him stay to clean out the men's room. He didn't even think that going back to profiling would be an option. So much of his success had been because of his phenomenal memory, but there was a reason it was called a photographic memory. He could remember all that he'd seen or read and make connections that didn't seem readily obvious to others. Would his memory fail him if he couldn't see?

Where the hell was Krycek?

He jumped up off the cot again, and resumed his frenetic pacing. Five steps, turn, five back. It wasn't enough. He expanded the paces to seven, then nine. By the time he got to fifteen he got himself all turned around and crashed into one of the rock walls. He put his back against the wall and walked back the way he'd come, or so he thought. Ten steps brought him to another wall. He felt along it, hoping he'd come across one of the piles of supply boxes that he knew should be there. He'd know where he was then.

Twenty steps along the wall revealed nothing but more rock wall. He tried going back the other way, twenty steps back to his starting point then another twenty in the other direction. Still nothing. What should he do now? Keep trying to find his way back to the camp and risk getting even more lost in the maze of caves, or stay where he was and hope like hell Krycek came back for him? What if Krycek came back and thought he'd decided to try to make it on his own? Would he look for him or just leave? Mulder tried one more time, crossing back to the other side of the tunnel and repeating the search pattern. Still nothing, and he was certain that the air was colder here. Was he just going deeper and deeper into the caves?

Mulder fought the growing panic. He should stay where he was and listen for Krycek's return. He'd be back soon. He slid down the wall and sat huddled on the dirt floor, trying to convince himself that it was the cold air that was making him shiver uncontrollably and his eyes water.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A cave,
Somewhere in the middle of nowhere,
West Virginia,
Friday, 5:32am

"Mulder?"

Krycek couldn't see him anywhere in the confines of the camp area inside the cave. He checked the side cave where the latrine was located with no luck. The place didn't look like it had been found by the black ops teams. So where the hell was Mulder?

It had taken Krycek a lot longer to get back than he'd anticipated. He'd scouted as near to the compound as he'd dared and the place was still swarming with camo-suited goons. As he'd made his way along, assessing how much effort was being put into the search for them, he'd found himself boxed in to some rocks on a hillside when a patrol decided to make camp for several hours. He didn't dare move while they were there. Finally, a half hour ago, the patrol broke camp and moved on and he'd hurried back to the cave as quickly as he could. He'd left Mulder alone for far too long.

It was cold down here in the caves, but slightly warmer than it was outside. The temperature had dropped quite a few degrees from the previous night. Krycek was chilled from having sat so long up in the rocks and longed for some hot coffee. But first he had to find Mulder. Where could the stupid prick have gone?

He found a flashlight and started searching down one of the passageways that led off the main cave where the camp was located. Several yards in it suddenly dawned on him. He hadn't told Mulder about the tunnels. The network of catacombs went for who knew how many miles underground. Fuck, if Mulder had wandered off down one of these... He didn't want to think about it.

"MULDER!!!" He called, as loudly as he dared.

The sound of his voice echoed down the dark tunnel. He listened carefully for a minute before making his way further in and calling again. Nothing. He tried a third time, raising his voice a little more.

"MULDERRRRR!!!"

Then he heard it faintly. Thank God! An answer.

Krycek walked further into the tunnel, calling again and waiting for an answer. When he heard nothing he began to think he'd imagined the answering voice. He shone the flashlight over the dirt floor of the tunnel and saw that there were no footprints other than his own this far down. He doubled back and decided to try another of the tunnels. He couldn't rely on the disturbed dirt floor to lead him to Mulder, he'd explored these side passages a lot himself over the past week. It was too hard to tell if there were any new prints where the ground was well trodden.

He called again, stepping into the mouth of the second tunnel.

"K-Krycek?" This time the answer sounded nearer, but still quite faint, and the way that the sound bounced off the walls made it hard to tell if he was headed down the right tunnel, but he kept going.

"Krycek..."

He was closer now. "Mulder? I'm coming. Stay where you are. Keep calling out and I'll find you."

"P-please, Alex. I'm here." Even closer now.

Krycek followed the tunnel until it turned sharply. He found Mulder with the beam of the flashlight, thirty feet around the corner and ran to him.

"Oh God, Mulder!" Krycek cried as he pulled Mulder into a fierce embrace.

Mulder held on to him tightly, choking back the sobs that fought to be let loose. "I-I th-thought you'd left me h-here," he hiccupped.

He hugged Mulder tighter to him, turning his face into Mulder's hair. His warm breath whispered against Mulder's ear.

"No. No, I'd never leave you like this. Never."

Krycek's lips brushed gently against the other man's temple. Jesus, it felt so good to hold Mulder like this. How he'd longed for a moment such as this.

"It's okay, it's okay," he whispered. "I'm here."

Mulder turned his face towards Krycek just as Krycek pressed another light kiss, intending it to land on the same spot as before. Except this time his lips brushed against Mulder's and he pulled back in surprise. Shit.

What Mulder did next took Krycek entirely by surprise. He'd expected Mulder to pull away, or slug him, but Mulder's hands came up and felt for his face, exploring it gently. The questing fingers found his lips and traced them delicately. Then, ever so slowly, Mulder's lips drew nearer until they touched against his own. Mulder kissed him tentatively, unsure of the welcome.

So surprised was he, Krycek didn't engage the kiss and Mulder started to pull away, ducking his head, suddenly embarrassed. Krycek cupped Mulder's cheek and lifted his face up until they were level again. He couldn't believe this was happening and he almost felt the need to pinch himself. Mulder had kissed him, and if he didn't snap out of it and do something it might never happen again.

He leaned in and returned the kiss. Just a soft kiss at first, lips barely touching, then Mulder opened his mouth slightly and clearly invited him in. Something ignited in Krycek's core and he deepened the kiss, his tongue invading that welcoming mouth, feeling the ridge of Mulder's teeth, the silkiness of his tongue. Neither man cared that beard stubble rasped like sandpaper as they meshed together, caught in the passion of the moment. After a while, they pulled apart, both breathing heavily.

Mulder started to speak first. "Um... I... um."

Krycek shushed him with a finger to Mulder's lips. "You don't have to say anything."

"I do." Mulder insisted. "I don't want you to think..."

Krycek cut him off angrily. "Think what? That I can take advantage of you because you can't see?"

"What? No!" Mulder pulled out of Krycek's hold and stumbled back a step. "God, if you only knew how long I've wanted to kiss you like that." Mulder suddenly felt embarrassed admitting it.

Krycek chuffed a laugh, slowly shaking his head. Mulder blindly felt for the wall and started to push past Krycek towards where he thought the camp might be.

Krycek grabbed his arm. "Wait."

"Get off me, Krycek."

"Let me explain..." He chuckled.

"Forget it! It doesn't matter. Nothing happened."

Mulder tried to pull free of Krycek's grip, but Krycek had other ideas. He wasn't going to let him go when he'd just found him. He pushed Mulder back against the rock.

"It does matter, you idiot. Because I've wanted to kiss you like that ever since I laid eyes on you."

"You... you have?" Mulder squeaked.

Krycek nodded. "I have. And I'm going to do it again."

He pressed in against Mulder's lithe body and kissed him deeply, almost savagely. And Mulder kissed back for all he was worth. He wrapped his arms around Krycek and let his hands roam up and down the strong back. Up to the nape of the neck with one hand, down to that tight ass with the other. Krycek felt his arousal building, his erection pushing against Mulder's groin, and felt the answering swell in Mulder's pants. He broke the kiss and took Mulder's hand.

"Come on."

"Where are we going?" Mulder asked.

"Somewhere more comfortable."

Krycek led Mulder back to the camp area and over to the bed. That wasn't going to work, the cot was too narrow for more than one person unless laying still. He sat Mulder down in one of the chairs.

"Wait there. If you move even an inch off that spot, I'll have to hurt you."

It was Mulder's turn to laugh. "What are you doing?"

He was answered by Krycek's grunt as he pulled the mattress off the camp bed and arranged it on the ground, got on his knees, fussed around some and then spread the blankets and a towel over it.

"That's better. Come over here," Krycek commanded. "Careful. Two steps." He took Mulder's hand and pulled him down onto the mattress. At Mulder's puzzled frown, he said, "I thought it was a lot safer than up on the cot. I don't want you to get hurt anymore."

Krycek gently pushed Mulder back until he was lying down then, mindful of Mulder's bruises, he set about ravishing his body. He leaned on his prosthesis and pushed his right hand up under Mulder's sweater until he found the fleshy nub of a nipple. It instantly hardened as he squeezed it and rolled it between his thumb and finger. Mulder arched up under him. He took note of the reaction.

Mulder pulled Krycek's head down for another passionate kiss, murmuring almost incoherently into the other man's mouth.

Krycek pulled back, breathing hard. "You're wearing too many clothes."

"So are you."

They set about pulling at each other's sweaters, fumbling for buttons and zips on jeans that seemed intent on sticking to their heated flesh as they shucked out of them. They were down to undershirts and shorts. Still too much clothing. Mulder pulled his t-shirt over his head and reached for Krycek's. He stopped suddenly when his fingers encountered the straps for Krycek's prosthetic arm. He didn't know what to do.

"It's okay," Krycek soothed. "Take it off or leave it on, it's up to you. Whatever you feel comfortable with."

It wasn't really his own comfort that Mulder was thinking of. Although it was pretty uncomfortable being reminded of that horrible time in Russia. How he wished it had all turned out differently. He'd felt betrayed by Krycek then. He still did. But right now his little head was ruling his actions and he didn't want to think about those things.

"What do you prefer?" Mulder asked, running his fingers over the buckles that held it in place.

"It has its uses, but not at times like this. Take it off."

Times like this? Mulder considered as he fumbled with the fastenings. Plural? Did he want to even consider how many other men Krycek had been with? God, he wished he could just shut his brain down at times. As the plastic arm dropped to the floor beside the mattress, Krycek attacked Mulder's other nipple with his teeth, and coherent thought fled as pure sensation took over Mulder's body. Oh, nothing had felt this good since... since...

"Ohhh, yes," he hissed.

"You like that?" Krycek asked, blowing his breath across the sensitive, wet nub.

"Don't..."

"Don't what, Mulder? Don't do it?" Krycek teased.

"Don't stop! Please..."

Mulder's cock was starting to throb almost painfully. He wouldn't last long at this rate. He reached his hand down and Krycek grabbed his wrist.

"Uh, uh." Krycek pressed the wandering hand down onto the mattress then pulled Mulder's silk shorts down in one deft move.

Mulder's cock sprang up, released from its silken prison. Moisture was already leaking from the tip. Without warning Krycek slid down and licked at the pre-cum then swallowed the thick shaft, taking it deep into his throat. Mulder jerked and gasped, and thought he was going to come on the spot, but Krycek was masterful. He pinched the base of Mulder's penis as he slid his mouth up and off.

"N-n-n-nooooo." Mulder buried his fingers into the mattress and moaned.

Oh, this was such sweet torture, Krycek thought. Payback for all the times he'd lain awake in some seedy hotel room, jacking off to the fantasy of just this very moment. He licked his index finger then took Mulder into his mouth again. He slid his hand in under Mulder's balls, taking a moment to caress the heavy sac, and pressed that finger between the cleft of those sweet buttocks. He pushed it inside past the tight ring of muscle just as he swallowed down.

Mulder tossed his head and moaned repeatedly, his hips thrusting upwards into that willing and talented mouth. His hands reached to relieve his throbbing cock and encountered the silky strands of Krycek's hair. He frowned, not quite able to fathom why he couldn't reach his intended destination. He tangled his fingers through the thick short hair, flexing and straightening them convulsively.

Krycek pumped his finger in and out in rhythm with his sucking and licking. He pushed in deeper and crooked his finger, expertly finding Mulder's hidden pleasure center. With a scream Mulder exploded into Krycek's throat. Krycek felt his own balls draw up and he followed Mulder over the edge, rubbing himself against the soft nap of the towel beneath him.

He licked the last traces of come from Mulder's softening cock then wiped his finger on the towel before using it to clean himself. Krycek tossed the sticky cloth into a corner and crawled up and spooned in behind Mulder, pulling him close and breathing in his musky post-sex sweaty scent. Mulder was already out of it. He kissed Mulder's shoulder gently and pulled the blankets up over them. He'd sleep for just a little while.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Alex? Are you awake?" Mulder whispered.

"Mmm," came the muttered reply.

"I'm thirsty. Is there any water?"

Mulder hated having to ask for something so basic. Where he would have gone to get it for himself yesterday, now he was terrified to even attempt to go in search of it, despite knowing exactly where it would be located. Now that he knew how easy it was to get disoriented and lost he didn't feel at all confident.

"Alex?" Mulder repeated, giving his companion a gentle shake.

"Yeah. Okay." The last word was split by a huge yawn.

Mulder sat up and felt Krycek get up. He heard the pop of bones and sinews as Krycek stretched; and imagined what it might look like. When Krycek returned to the mattress he pressed the cold bottle into Mulder's hands. Mulder didn't even grouse that the cap had been taken off for him, just said thanks.

When Mulder'd finished drinking, Krycek took the bottle and swallowed down some for himself.

"How are you doing today?" He asked conversationally as he swiped a dribble of water from his chin with the back of his hand.

Mulder considered a moment, trying to decipher if the question had a double meaning. It didn't really matter, either way the answer was the same.

"I'm okay."

"Good."

He was still blind, but otherwise physically fine, he thought. He was fine with what had happened between them earlier, although he really didn't think it was wise to delve into what other emotional state he might be in after his traumatic night. He'd been scared, no, terrified. He'd spent most of the night huddled on the cold dirt floor of that tunnel. Krycek had left him here alone all night. He'd said he was only going to be a couple of hours. So, maybe he wasn't so okay. He was actually starting to feel pretty pissed off now.

"Krycek, where the fuck were you? I might not be able to see my watch, but I know you were gone for more than a couple of hours!"

"I had no choice, there were patrols out." Krycek wasn't sure he liked Mulder's tone, and answered quite snappily. "Just what the hell were you thinking? Why did you leave the camp area? You could have gotten hopelessly lost in the maze of tunnels around here."

Through clenched teeth, Mulder ground out, "I wouldn't have left the camp if I'd known there were other tunnels to get fucking lost in!"

Krycek didn't know what to say, so sat in guilty silence. He sighed. Mulder was right, he should have told him. "I'm sorry. I didn't think... I assumed you'd just go to bed when I couldn't make it back. Why were you off exploring on your own anyway?"

"I wasn't off exploring. I was pacing. I must have wandered off track and somehow worked my way down the tunnel I didn't know was there!"

Krycek could see how that could happen. If Mulder hadn't turned a full 180 degrees each end of his pacing he would easily have angled away from the camp. Fortunately he'd had the good sense to stay where he was when he'd become lost, even if he was only thirty yards from the camp. Although, admittedly, he'd somehow rounded a bend in the tunnel which made it harder for him to find his way back.

"You didn't come back," Mulder continued. "I was worried about you, you dumb fuck. What did you think I was doing? Searching for hidden treasure?"

Krycek chuffed a laugh. "Well, Mulder, whether you were searching for it or not, I'd say you found it."

Any reply Mulder attempted to make was lost as Krycek pushed him back down onto the mattress and climbed on top of him, lavishing him with a hungry kiss. Mulder kissed back with equally as much hunger, if not more. There was a brief struggle for supremacy, but in the end, Mulder wound up rolling Krycek onto his back and sat straddling his legs. Krycek laid still and quiet, waiting for Mulder to do whatever he wanted to his body.

Mulder just sat for a minute doing nothing, then began to map the contours of Krycek's body with his hands. He started at the thighs, running his hands backwards down the outside of Krycek's legs to the ankles until he was leaning back. Then he worked his way up the inside of those legs until he touched his own ass. He ran his hands up his own body sensually, up to his neck and back down, down his thighs and onto Krycek's thighs as if the two bodies were one. Krycek shuddered as Mulder's hands bypassed his groin and slid up to pause on his hips.

Mulder's expression turned wistfully sad. "I... I wish I could see what you looked like right now." His eyes glistened with moisture that he fought to hold back. "It's not fair."

Krycek sensed that they were about to lose the 'moment' and thought hard about what he could do or say to bring it back.

"Mulder, please, try not to think about that. Just think about us, right here, right now. Let me make you feel better." He lifted his hand and ran it over Mulder's thigh, aiming for the semi-rigid cock.

Mulder dropped his own hand on top of Krycek's and stopped it from reaching its destination.

"No. It's my treasure... my turn."

Mulder gently pushed Krycek's hand down onto the mattress, then resumed his careful exploration of his treasure trove. He copied much of what Krycek had done for him earlier, leaning down to lick his way up Krycek's flat stomach, latching onto one nipple, then crossing to the other. It felt strange, so different from a woman's body. There was no plump breast to squeeze in his hands so he contented himself with pinching and kneading the other nipple while he licked and sucked the first.

Then he licked his way up the smooth chest and nuzzled the hollow of Krycek's throat. Alex seemed to like that because he moaned. Mulder paused a second. When had he started thinking of Krycek as 'Alex'? Another moan, more of a protest that he'd stopped really, and he continued up to nibble Krycek's ear.

"Oh, God, Mulder. I want you. So bad that it hurts," Krycek gasped out.

"Tell me what you want," Mulder breathed into his ear.

"Make love to me. Just like I've always dreamed you would."

"Um, there's something you should know..." Mulder sounded almost embarrassed.

"It's okay, I've got condoms," Krycek answered.

Mulder pushed himself up on his hands away from the body below him. "What? No, that's not what I meant. Although it's certainly a good idea."

"Then what?" he was asked.

"I've, er, never actually done this with a man before."

"That's okay. It's not that different than it is with a woman, especially if you've ever had anal sex with one."

Mulder wasn't about to admit to Krycek what he had or had not gotten up to with women before, but he quietly thanked Phoebe for her adventurousness in their time together. He was also secretly relieved that Alex seemed happy to be the do-ee and Mulder the do-er. He also didn't think that the limited range of homoerotic vid tapes in his porn collection was going to be much practical help either.

"If you don't want to do this, you don't have to."

Krycek's voice snapped him out of his woolgathering.

"What?"

"I said you don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable with."

"N-no, it's okay. I was just thinking... doesn't matter," Mulder insisted, shaking his head. "I want to... you know, go all the way."

It sounded so old-fashioned and sweet and Krycek was almost sure, even in the low light, that Mulder was blushing. While Mulder had gone on a mental trip to wherever, Krycek had located the items he'd left beside the mattress earlier. He selected a condom, tore the packet open with his teeth and took the latex out.

Mulder jumped when Krycek touched his cock, which promptly started to wilt.

"Sorry," Krycek apologized. He still forgot that Mulder couldn't see things coming.

Krycek put the condom down on his own chest and used his hand to massage Mulder's penis back to full erection. Then he slipped the condom over the plump head and rolled it down.

"Get in between my legs," Krycek ordered.

Mulder shuffled about until he was in position, and Krycek bent his own knees up.

"Good. Now it'll be easier for you if you grab my ankles and put them up on your shoulders."

Mulder did as bid. This wasn't a lot different than with a woman so far. He shuffled forward some more until he was snugged up to Krycek's upraised ass. Krycek pressed a tube into his hands. Mulder silently wondered if Krycek had ever been a boy scout.

"You'll have to manage the cap."

Krycek sounded almost apologetic, and Mulder remembered with a shock that he had to do everything with only one arm. Jeez, they made a pair, didn't they?

It was obvious what was in the tube and Mulder squeezed some of the slimy, sticky stuff onto his fingers.

"Do you want me to... you know... do anything before... um." Shit, why did he feel like this was his first high school fuck? Mulder was absolutely certain that even way back then he hadn't felt this awkward. He smeared some of the stuff over the condom while he waited for an answer.

"You don't have to do anything to prepare me," came the hesitant reply, "but you can if you want to."

Mulder ran his slicked fingers down between the valley of Krycek's buttocks until he felt the pucker. He pushed tentatively at the entrance with one finger and it gave with some slight resistance. He wriggled his finger around, trying to guess where to find Alex's prostate. Another low moan told him he was on the right track.

"Please, just do it," Krycek almost whimpered, bouncing his hips and pushing his ass against Mulder's groin.

Mulder didn't think he could not do it even if he tried. He let his finger slide free and guided the head of his cock into the crevice, sliding it up and down slightly until it practically homed in on the right spot automatically. A gentle push, and more resistance than he imagined there would be, but he felt a slight 'pop' and he was in. The tightness around his cock was incredibly erotic, and suddenly he wanted more. He pushed forward slowly, carefully, afraid he'd hurt his lover. Yes, lovers. For they were certainly that now.

When he was buried to the hilt, Mulder had to just stop and breathe. He couldn't move for just a moment, for fear he'd come on the spot. He wanted to make this good for Alex, and enjoy it himself for more than a few seconds. He could feel his cock throb, and Alex's internal muscles twitch in response. The other man seemed to understand that he needed time to adjust to the feel of a tight ass engulfing his penis. Then Mulder began to move. Slowly at first and then a little harder, pulling out further each time and thrusting in.

They were both grunting and gasping wordlessly as Mulder pumped in and out, and Krycek pushed eagerly against each inward stroke. Mulder had Krycek's hips in a tight grip, anchoring himself and melding with the other body. Mulder was lost in the sensation Krycek realized and started to pump his own erection with his hand. It took almost no time at all until Krycek felt his balls tighten and the pressure build. He came explosively, shooting cum over his stomach and chest. A couple more thrusts and Mulder cried out, burrowing his cock deeply into Krycek as he came.

The only sound inside the cave was the harsh, gasping breaths of both men. With one more groan, Mulder pulled out slowly and collapsed on the mattress beside Krycek. He gently teased the used condom off his overly sensitive cock and dropped it somewhere in the dirt beside him. His brain slowly started to remember how to function and he tried to form the right words.

"That... That was... incredible."

"Yeah," Krycek agreed.

"No, I mean... really incredible," Mulder repeated. "Thank you."

Krycek half rolled onto his side to face Mulder whose eyes were closed, his cheeks still flushed pink. Sweat made his soft hair cling to his forehead and Krycek thought that he'd never seen anyone as beautiful as Fox Mulder looked at that very moment. He leaned in and kissed those pouty lips.

"Thank you, Fox."

Mulder snorted, a laugh rumbling its way out of his chest. "Mulder," he said firmly. "It's still Mulder to you, Krycek."

Oh well, it was a nice try. Krycek had thought that perhaps he'd now been inducted into the exclusive little group that was allowed to call him Fox, but he was wrong.

They lay for several minutes in companionable silence, neither man desiring nor having the energy to move. Finally Krycek started to get up.

"Where are you going?" Mulder asked, sitting up suddenly.

Running the already soiled towel over his belly to clean himself up a little, Krycek saw the worried frown on Mulder's face.

"It's okay, I'm just going to warm some water so we can wash up. I'll make some coffee too. And I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

"Oh. Okay. Yeah, I guess I'm a little hungry." Of course. Krycek had said he wouldn't leave him. So why didn't he believe him still?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A cave,
Somewhere in the middle of nowhere,
West Virginia,
Friday, 9:11am

A half hour later, both men had washed, shaved -- Mulder had trusted Krycek enough to let him use a safety razor on him, which was an erotic experience in itself that made the whole process take much longer than it should -- dressed in Alex's clean clothes and were sitting down to a breakfast of canned fruit, more dry biscuits and beans, and coffee. Not very imaginative, but the best they had under the circumstances.

Mulder hated to sound like a broken record, but he had to ask. "How much longer do you think we'll have to stay here?"

With more confidence than he really felt, Krycek answered, "I think we should be able to get out tonight. The patrols I saw seemed to be almost finished combing this far out. By now they probably think we're back in DC. They'll be concentrating on the clean up operation."

"So we just walk out of here?"

Krycek paused mid-chew. "I'll need to go take a look first, see if the coast is clear."

Mulder swallowed with an almost audible click. "You're going to leave me here alone again, aren't you?"

"Mulder... Look, we can't just go without checking..."

"I know." A flat reply.

"If there was any other way," Krycek sounded apologetic.

"It's okay. I understand."

So much for Krycek's promise not to leave him alone again. He should have known better than to believe it.

"Mulder..."

"I said forget it, Krycek." It came out hard and angry. Mulder sighed and pulled his fear back under control. "I know that I'm a liability. You could have been out of here by now except for me."

"That's not it." Krycek reached out and grasped Mulder's hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "I wouldn't have been able to get out last night even if I'd wanted to. The plan was always to lay low here for a few days. I wouldn't have gone out at all last night if I was here alone. But we need to get you out of here and to a doctor."

A confused frown formed on Mulder's brow. Krycek had gone out and taken a risk because of him? Shit.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A cave,
Somewhere in the middle of nowhere,
West Virginia,
Friday 3:20pm

Mulder felt about as helpful and functional as a newborn infant. He listened as Krycek pushed supply boxes around, grunting and swearing as he pushed at a particularly heavy one. Obviously all this stuff had been set up long ago, in readiness for a raid on the underground storage facility. He'd offered to help but had wound up being worse than useless when trying to lift anything he'd become dizzy and nauseous.

Krycek had sat Mulder down and told him not to move off the chair while he restacked the boxes across the mouth of each tunnel leading off their camp. Although he most assuredly expected to be gone only an hour this time, he wasn't taking any chances.

Krycek grunted as he plopped down onto his own chair and gulped down some water. He groaned as he rolled his shoulders. The prosthesis was no good for lifting or pushing and his good arm and shoulder ached now with the stress he'd placed on it.

"Are you all right?" Mulder asked.

"Yeah. Just a little sore. Those boxes are heavy."

"You could have let me help," Mulder pouted.

Krycek chuckled. "No thanks. You've already ruined one pair of boots."

Mulder frowned, not understanding and not remembering his little bout of puking when he'd first become conscious after the explosion. Krycek didn't explain further, so he let it drop.

"Well, let me help you now. Scully sometimes gets me to massage her back after she's been doing autopsies all day. She says I'm pretty good at it."

"I'd say you're pretty good at a lot of things, Mulder," Krycek breathed huskily, and Mulder blushed. "We've still got a few hours until it's dark. Wanna find out what else you're good at?"

"Um. Sure. Ohh!"

Krycek had come up behind him and nuzzled against Mulder's neck, licking under his ear then nibbling on the sensitive earlobe. Mulder was every bit the sensualist that Krycek had expected him to be. So responsive to even the slightest touches.

"You said you wanted to experience everything... go all the way," Krycek breathed into Mulder's ear. "Did you mean that?" He kissed Mulder's neck as Mulder tilted his head to give better access. Krycek slid his hand down the front of Mulder's (no his) t-shirt and began playing with one of those ultra-sensitive little nubs.

"Mmmm. Yeah. Ahh."

Mulder was becoming highly aroused. After so long with no one but Mr. Hand as company, he was sure he was going to go into sensory overload with all the attention Krycek was bestowing on him. But he wanted more, God help him.

"I haven't..." Mulder stuttered.

"It's okay. I know how to be gentle. I promise you, you'll enjoy this even more than any other sex you've ever had."

"It's not that I haven't wanted to..."

"Shhhh, baby, it's okay."

Krycek pulled the t-shirt off Mulder and kissed him to stop any further Mulder-babble. He pulled his own shirt off, then worked on Mulder's jeans while Mulder made little purring sounds and ran his hands and mouth over every inch of Krycek's exposed skin that he could reach. Mulder pulled Krycek's jeans down and they both stepped out of the remainder of their clothing. Buck naked, they rubbed together as Krycek guided them both over and onto the mattress on the floor.

It was a slow seduction, deliberate on Krycek's part. He could feel that Mulder was tense, nervous. He worked Mulder's body like a maestro working a finely tuned violin. Words were an unnecessary extra; Krycek had learned that in order to shut down Mulder's stream of consciousness he had to keep his mouth otherwise occupied. And Mulder was a great kisser.

Their legs tangled together as they rubbed groin against groin. Hot, rigid cocks dueling.

Krycek found the lube and flipped off the lid. He got some onto his fingers and rubbed down between Mulder's butt cheeks, over his anus, past it and down to his balls. His fingernails scraped lightly at the underside of Mulder's scrotum, and Mulder moaned. He did this a couple of times, then rubbed a slow circle around and over the tight entrance. Mulder tensed.

"Relax. Just relax. I won't hurt you," Krycek cooed, and kept up the slow stroking until he felt his lover loosen up.

He pushed one finger in slowly, working it in and twisting it around until he found the gland he was seeking. Mulder jumped and his eyes flew open. He gasped. Krycek smiled and withdrew the finger. He added more lube and pushed back in, adding a second finger and scissoring them to open Mulder up a little more. Mulder hissed at the added intrusion, but Krycek could feel him deliberately unclenching his sphincter.

"You okay?" he asked softly, probing at the sensitive prostate again.

"Yeah. Oh yeah."

Mulder almost whimpered when the fingers left him this time.

"Roll over," Krycek instructed.

Mulder flipped himself over onto his stomach and pulled his knees up under himself, offering his ass up. He was still nervous about letting Krycek of all people do this to him, but he wanted it more than anything he'd ever wanted before.

"Breathe, Mulder."

He hadn't realized that he was holding his breath, and let it out with a whoosh.

"That's it. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Again."

On the second breath, Mulder felt the blunt, latex covered head of Krycek's cock press into him. There was a slight burn and the same pop that he'd felt when he'd entered his lover earlier. Krycek paused and Mulder kept up the slow breathing. Krycek pushed in further, slowly, carefully. It felt strange, having another man's cock up his ass, but Mulder also found that it felt good. There was a natural inclination to want to bear down and force the intruder out, but he pushed that aside and concentrated on relaxing and the enjoyable sensation having it there was causing.

Mulder thought he was going to go mad with pleasure. His brains were going to explode out of his skull at any moment. Krycek was stroking slowly in and out, angling to hit Mulder's prostate with every other thrust. There were soft sounds emitting from the body beneath him as Mulder gasped "oh" and "yes" and "oh God". The rest of the time it seemed that there was an almost constant "mmmhhhmmmm" rumbling in that gorgeous throat.

Krycek lasted as long as he could before he picked up the pace a little, and something else exploded for Mulder, with an incoherent cry, instead. He didn't think he'd ever come that hard before, it was almost painful. It was only Krycek's strong right arm around his waist that held him up for the few extra seconds it took until his lover exploded inside of him. Then they both sagged down onto the mattress, rolling onto their sides. Mulder felt Alex's embedded cock still throb, or was that his own internal muscles twitching and jumping? It didn't matter, but it felt... nice. He was almost disappointed when Krycek pulled his softened cock out with another slight pop.

Both men lay bonelessly for a long time. Then Krycek checked his watch. Nearly five pm. They needed to eat and then he had to get ready to reconnoiter again. Mulder stirred lazily.

"I guess there are some things that you can tell the truth about, Krycek."

"Whaddaya mean, Mulder?" Krycek wasn't sure if he should be offended or not, but Mulder's tone seemed playful enough.

"That was the best sex I've ever had." It had even made him forget that he still couldn't see, at least for a little while. His smile faded for a moment, before he brightened it up again for Krycek's benefit. "Thank you. I had no idea what it would feel like. You just don't get the full benefit of the experience from a video."

"Mulder, can I ask you a question?"

"You can ask, I can't guarantee I'll answer."

"Why haven't you ever done this before?"

Mulder stopped to think about the answer to that one. "Just never came up before, I guess. I mean... I don't think I've been attracted to men really, certainly none that are... you know."

"Gay? You can say it, you know."

Mulder sighed. "I mean, I like women. A lot. I don't think of myself as... gay. I don't think I am."

"Yet you just had sex with a man. Several times. Maybe you're bisexual."

"No, I don't think that's it either. I didn't just have sex with a man, I had sex with you."

"Now you're confusing the hell outta me, Mulder."

"What I mean is, I think it's just some sort of chemistry between you and me. It has nothing to do with either of us being male, or gay, or whatever."

"Okay, if that's what you want to think, go right ahead. I just think you're in denial. I'm hungry, I'm gonna make some food."

Krycek went and cleaned himself up, then threw a wet washcloth and a dry towel into Mulder's lap before getting dressed and setting about fixing them a meal.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Is this really necessary?" Mulder asked petulantly.

"Yes, it is."

"You already stacked up the crates. I'll know if I go out of bounds."

"Look, Mulder, if the coast is clear, I don't want to waste any time looking for you if you happen to wander off again. We're going to need every minute of darkness there is left to get as far away from here as fast as we can." Which won't be very fast with you not being able to see, he silently added. "You could still get past the crates and not know it. This way you can't go too far, and if you do, you can easily find your way back."

"You said you'd only be gone an hour. I can sit still for that long."

"Ha!" Krycek nearly choked on the laughter that welled up. He'd pay money to see Fox Mulder sit still for five minutes, let alone an hour or two.

"This is humiliating," Mulder groused. "Why don't you just tie it around my neck like a dog?" Mulder tugged angrily at the rope tied around his waist. The other end was fastened to the carry handle on one of the heavy ammunition boxes stacked near the camp bed.

"Don't tempt me, Mulder."

"Bastard. Just don't leave me here on my fucking own all night again."

"I'll be back as soon as I can." Krycek cupped Mulder's cheek and kissed him softly. "I promise."

As soon as Krycek had gone, Mulder started to feel panicky. His heart started to race and his breathing got faster. He had to fight hard to control the mounting panic attack. He forced himself to sit at the table and finish the cup of coffee that had now gone cold. It was bitter, but distracting. There wasn't much that he could actually do while he waited, other than worry.

He lasted all of five minutes before he was up and pacing. But this time he had both fists wrapped securely around the rope as well as having it tied around him. It offered a form of security that allowed him to freely march up and down while he tried to clear his mind of all the awful possibilities. He tried reconstructing some of his precious X Files in his head. They'd mostly been destroyed by the fire and, on the quiet, he'd been slowly piecing back together what little paper had survived.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It would have been comical if it didn't speak so loudly about Mulder's current state of mind and Krycek would have laughed if he wasn't sure it would be so devastating to Mulder. When he got back, in just under an hour and twenty five minutes, the camp area was a mess. The rope around Mulder's waist looked like some sort of bizarre macram, strung around the legs of the table and chairs (which were turned over), and around several of the stacks of crates. Mulder was sitting two feet short of the edge of the mattress, the rope keeping him from reaching it. Yet he still had it tied securely around him, Krycek noted.

He shook his head ruefully, then called out brightly, "Hi honey, I'm home!"

"About fucking time!" Mulder climbed to his feet. "Can we get out of here now?"

"As a matter of fact, we can." Krycek stepped over the tangles of rope until he reached Mulder and untied the ends.

Krycek gathered the pack he'd prepared earlier, after sitting Mulder down on one of the righted chairs. Mulder fidgeted, toying with the newly tied and shortened rope. He didn't argue about the need for it. There was one hell of a lot of nothing out there, and he'd already found enough trouble to get in inside the confines of the cave. He didn't know what he'd do if he got separated from Krycek "out there".

"Okay, let's go," Krycek finally announced, tying the other end of the rope around himself and shouldering the pack.

Mulder jumped up, eager as a puppy yet reluctant at the same time. He took a deep breath. "Yeah, let's go."

Just getting out of the cave was an adventure in itself. There were a number of loose rocks and Mulder kept tripping, despite Krycek's careful guidance and Mulder's hand firmly latched onto the otherwise useless prosthesis.

They trudged on doggedly for an hour and then Krycek stopped.

"What's wrong?" Mulder whispered.

"Nothing. Time for a break." Krycek dropped the pack.

"We've only just started," Mulder complained, although grateful for the rest, he wanted to be back where it was safe as soon as possible.

"We've got a long way to go, Mulder. We need to pace ourselves. Sit, have some water."

Mulder did as he was ordered, albeit reluctantly. He was a little tired. He'd been so tense ever since they'd started out and it was sapping his strength. He tried to trust Krycek's every step, but he just wasn't used to being so reliant on someone else -- except Scully perhaps, but even then, not in this way.

After a short rest, they set off again. Mulder offered to take the pack, but Krycek refused. He figured Mulder was having enough trouble just tripping over his own feet; he didn't need the heavy pack to weigh him down as well.

"Mulder, can you try to loosen up a little?" Krycek sighed.

"I'm loose," Mulder hissed back. And promptly tripped again.

"Yeah, right," Krycek breathed. "We're going to be walking all night, Mulder. I know it's hard, not being able to see where you're stepping, but you have to trust me. It's not in either of our best interests for you to fall and hurt yourself."

Mulder bit back a retort and took a deep breath instead. You can do this, he told himself, and set about letting his mind drift back to his files, letting his feet automatically put one in front of the other wherever he was led. After a few minutes, Mulder realized that it was easier to do than he'd thought, just as long as he didn't think.

Krycek noticed the difference. "That's better. We'll make more time now."

He didn't get a reply and, glancing around at Mulder, he became aware that Mulder might have been physically present, but his head was somewhere else. He shook his head.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Somewhere in rural West Virginia,
Saturday morning

Just before dawn Mulder and Krycek were both stumbling from sheer exhaustion. It had been a long haul but they'd finally made it to the small abandoned homestead where Krycek had hidden his motorcycle.

"Do you want to stop and rest for a while? We're safe here," Krycek asked.

"Only if you need to," Mulder insisted. "I'm okay."

Krycek was torn. It would have been nice to spend another few hours wrapped in Mulder's arms, but they really did need to keep moving. Mulder needed that doctor.

"All right. We'll keep going. Sit there for a minute while I get the bike ready."

"Bike?"

"Yeah. Sorry, it's all I have on hand. The limo is in the shop," Krycek commented dryly. "You got something against bikes?"

"No," Mulder sighed.

It was just that he wasn't really experienced with motorcycles, the one and only time he'd ever been on one was with Albert Hosteen's grandson on the ride out to that boxcar in New Mexico. He hadn't been able to hold on very securely as they rode over the rough ground, with his shoulder sporting the gunshot wound Scully had given him. It had been a hairy and uncomfortable ride.

They were ready to go as the sun came up. Krycek did a quick final check and then guided Mulder over to stand beside the bike. Mulder's hand ran lightly over the seat. Well worn leather that had been lovingly cared for, it reminded him of his sofa. A rattle and creaking sound brought his head up and he winced in pain, "Shit." His hands flew to his eyes as the light from the bright sunrise streaming in the open door hit him in the face.

"What's the matter?" Krycek must have heard his expletive.

"My eyes are hurting," Mulder gasped out.

"Shit." Krycek pulled the door closed again and hurried over to Mulder. "Let me look." He forced Mulder's hands down and attempted to get Mulder to open his tightly shut eyes. "I forgot about the sun."

They'd been in the dark of the cave or night sky ever since Mulder had been injured. Krycek wasn't sure if it was a good sign that the light affected Mulder or not. But they either had to stay inside this dark shed all day and travel by night, or come up with another plan. He didn't want to wait, so he'd have to think of something.

Plan B turned out to be quite simple. Krycek found the small first aid kit in his pack and used a couple of gauze pads and a lot of bandages to cover Mulder's eyes and shut out any light. When he was satisfied that the bandages were snug but not too tight, Krycek tried opening the door again. He watched Mulder carefully for any signs of discomfort and heaved a sigh of relief when the door was fully open and light streamed in from the beautifully sunny day without hurting his lover.

"You okay now?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"Okay, then." Krycek climbed onto the bike, slid on his road goggles then held onto Mulder's arm as the other man climbed on behind him. "Let's go. Hold on tight to me and you'll feel when you need to lean into the corners." Krycek informed his passenger as he kick started the machine.

Mulder held on tightly around Krycek's waist and leaned into the strong back as the bike lurched off.

It was a powerful bike with a throaty growl and a smooth throbbing engine. Knowing Krycek, it was probably something exotic, Mulder thought, but the rushing of the wind prevented him asking. They were traveling pretty fast now, and Mulder let his body melt into Krycek's as they smoothly ate up the road. Krycek was a good rider and Mulder felt instantly at home behind him.

All too soon, Mulder could hear the heavier traffic of the city freeway system. He wasn't sure where they were headed exactly, they hadn't discussed this part. He assumed that Krycek would take him to Scully. When they finally pulled up at their destination, Mulder was certain that they weren't in Scully's neighborhood.

"Where are we?" He asked.

"Northeast Georgetown Hospital," Krycek replied as he leaned the bike onto its stand.

Mulder automatically put his foot out to compensate for the sudden lean. "I thought you were taking me to Scully."

"I can't, Mulder. If she sees me... Look, you'll be safe here. I'll take you to the emergency room door. Someone will take you in if you ask them. Get them to call Scully."

"No, Alex, I want you to stay with me until Scully gets here." Mulder held onto Krycek's leather jacket tightly as they walked nearer to the emergency room.

"I... I just can't, Mulder. I'm sorry."

Mulder couldn't believe it and he was angry. "So this is it then? You're just going to leave me here?"

"Mulder... I can't stay. It's not that I don't want to. It's not safe for me here. You'll be fine. I'll come back, when you're better. I will be back, baby."

Krycek pulled Mulder into the shadows of the building and kissed him soundly, then roughly pulled away and tugged a now reluctant and complaining Mulder towards the entrance doors. Just short of the range of the electric eye that operated the automatic doors, Krycek disengaged himself from Mulder's grip and gave him a little shove in the direction of the door.

Mulder stumbled and tried to get hold of Krycek again but came up with nothing but air. He listened for anything that would give away Krycek's location, but heard nothing.

"Alex?" Mulder took a step forward, blindly groping in front of himself, searching. "Alex? Where are you?" He practically sobbed. Still no answer. "ALEX!!"

It was still relatively early on Saturday morning with not too many people about, and Krycek stood and watched from behind the bush he ducked behind. It broke his heart to leave Mulder like this, but it was the only way. He couldn't risk getting caught up with forms and people asking questions. Mulder would be all right. He was in safe hands. He watched as a nurse came out of the emergency room at Mulder's yelling and then quickly ushered him inside. Krycek watched the doors close and then headed back to his bike.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Northeast Georgetown Hospital,
ER,
Saturday 10:13am

Dana Scully entered the emergency room with all the force of a hurricane hitting the Florida coast. In no time at all, she'd tracked down Mulder's location, extracted all the pertinent information and pushed into the exam area. She pulled up short when she saw him lying propped up on the bed, his eyes swathed in bandages.

"Oh God! Mulder..."

He turned his head towards her. "Hey, Scully."

Having been told that he wasn't seriously injured, other than the possible damage to his eyes, and now seeing that he was conscious, Scully's initial concern turned to ire.

"Mulder, where the hell have you been? You've been missing for more than two days! What happened to you?"

Mulder shrugged. "There was this explosion... They're waiting for the ophthalmologist to come and examine me." He neatly side-stepped the first two questions in favor of answering only the third, hoping that 'Dr. Scully' would take over from 'Agent Scully' or even 'Partner Scully'. He wasn't quite that lucky.

"I know your medical condition, Mulder. I've just spoken with your doctor. I just want to know where you've been and what the hell you think you were doing. How did you get caught in an explosion?"

"I..." He didn't quite know how to begin, or even what to say. One thing was sure, though, he couldn't mention Alex. "I don't remember all of it. I went out to West Virginia and found something. Then there was an explosion and I got hurt. Then someone brought me here."

"Where in West Virginia? What was worth getting hurt for? Who brought you here? God, Mulder, where have you been for two days?"

He was saved the need to answer by the arrival of his doctor and the eye specialist that had been called in. Scully had to wait patiently on the sidelines while Mulder's attention was required elsewhere.

The examination was thorough and lengthy. At the end of it, the ophthalmologist was encouraging in his prognosis. Mulder's sight was already starting to return and it appeared no permanent damage had been done. The two days of staying in a darkened environment had helped with the healing process, and all that could be done now was for Mulder to be admitted for close observation and more rest for a few days. He'd need to keep the bandages on for about a week and use the medicated drops that had been prescribed, but the doctor was confident he'd be fine and regain his full sight within a few weeks.

Mulder was relieved beyond description.

The doctors left and he could just feel Scully building up another head of steam. He was in no mood to try to dodge her questions, so he feigned tiredness. He promised he'd talk to her, but later, when he'd had a chance to sort it out in his own mind. She accompanied him up to his room and waited until he'd been settled in and had fallen asleep before heading to the Hoover building and reporting that Mulder was alive and relatively well.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

More than three weeks passed. Mulder had been released from the hospital afternearly a week and had rattled clumsily around his apartment for the next two. Now he was back at work, under Kersh's careful scrutiny, allowed to work for only half days doing background checks. He was frustrated that he still couldn't see one hundred percent, but he was getting better every day. The worst part was that he had to rely on Scully picking him up and taking him home from work each day. He'd offered to take a cab but she'd insisted, claiming that it got her out of work for a while midway through the day to take him home.

Arriving home on his fourth day of work, Mulder found a note slipped under his apartment door.

It simply stated: Vernon's Bar & Grill. 3pm.

He slid the slip of paper into his pocket as Scully was asking him for the thousandth time if he had everything he needed.

"What's in the note, Mulder?"

She didn't miss a trick.

"Oh, nothing. From my neighbor. She wanted to know, uh, if she could pick up any groceries for me."

"It's not from one of your shadowy informants? You aren't going to disappear again, are you? 'Cause, I'm telling you, Mulder, I'll hurt you myself."

"No. Nothing like that." He tried to smile as he ushered her out the door.

He'd obfuscated and inveigled when giving the "full" account of his escapade to Scully, and then again to Kersh. At least he had the sizable lump on the back of his head to give credence to his story that he'd hit his head and couldn't remember much. He'd given such vague directions on where he'd gone and, of course, nothing turned up to either support or discredit his story.

He had been surprised to find that his car had found its way home and had been parked outside his apartment building by the time Scully had come searching for him on Thursday morning. He realized that Krycek had been deadly serious when he'd said that terminal force would be used against intruders. Mulder wondered if his body would have ever been found if he had been discovered by the black ops squad and not Krycek.

Krycek.

Mulder pulled the slip of paper out of his jacket pocket and dropped it on the coffee table.

He'd changed into jeans and t-shirt, eaten a sandwich and was lying on his sofa with his eyes resting as he was supposed to each afternoon. The CD player was on in the background. It changed to the next CD. Phil Collins. Not his usual choice, but he wasn't in the mood for anything heavy.

Another Day In Paradise, strangely, made him think of that day spent making love to Alex. He changed the track with the remote.

True Colors. Show me a rainbow, Phil sang.

Easy Lover. Skip that one.

You Can't Hurry Love. Shit.

Two Hearts.

I Wish It Would Rain Down.

Suddenly Mulder couldn't stand it any longer. He stabbed the off button on the CD player remote and sat up. He eyed the note on the table before him and then glanced at his watch. It swam blurrily in front of him but he could make out the hands. Two forty.

He'd slid on his leather jacket and was in a cab giving the instruction to take him to Vernon's Bar & Grill before he even realized he'd made up his mind to go. Fortunately, Vernon's was only a couple of dozen blocks from where he lived. The cabbie wasn't impressed with the short fare, but Mulder didn't care. He gave the driver a twenty and that seemed to appease the man.

There was nothing special about Vernon's. It had booths, stools at the bar and tables scattered around the musty, beer-stained room. An aging pool table was off to one side. In a booth near the back, in close proximity to the rear exit, he spotted a familiar figure.

As Mulder slid into the booth opposite him, Krycek said, "I wasn't sure you'd come."

"I nearly didn't." Mulder said simply, biting off whatever else he wanted to add as the waitress came over and took his order. Krycek was drinking a longneck beer. Mulder ordered a soda. He wanted to keep a clear head.

They sat in stony silence until after Mulder's drink was placed in front of him.

"Where have you been, Krycek?" Mulder demanded, suddenly leaning forward and getting into the other man's face. He stared into those impossibly green eyes, looking for any hint of a lie.

Krycek shrugged. "I've been around. Laying low, mostly."

"It's been three weeks."

Krycek shrugged again. "What did you expect, Mulder? I couldn't just turn up in your hospital room with flowers, now could I?"

"I don't know," Mulder cried. "I thought you'd at least contact me."

"I just did."

"I've been home, alone, for the last two weeks."

Krycek scanned the room automatically before bringing his gaze back to Mulder. "Look, Mulder, I can't just drop in whenever you want me to. And your apartment is not exactly the safest place in the world."

Krycek's blas attitude was pissing Mulder off. "I would have met you somewhere!"

His hand reached out and rested on top of Krycek's. Krycek pulled his hand back as if scalded. Mulder looked down at it and back up to where Krycek wouldn't meet him squarely in the eyes. Krycek swallowed.

"Look, Mulder. I've been thinking about what you said... when we were in that cave. It wouldn't do either of us any good to start something now."

Mulder's stomach was in his boots. "Now would be the best time. I'm not working on the X-Files. I'm so far under the radar of the Consortium that I might as well be dead. No one has to know about this. It's just between you and me." He didn't want to beg but if that was what it took. "Alex. Please."

"I'm sorry, Mulder. It just wouldn't work. We're both a lot better off forgetting that any of it ever happened."

"What?" Mulder felt his eyes start to sting and a lump form in his throat. He'd laid himself bare to Krycek, he'd let himself fall in love with this man, and now he was being brushed off like some unwanted date. He should never have trusted Krycek. Not for a second.

"Screw you, Krycek!" Mulder hissed and stood abruptly. He wildly fumbled for something else to say, but what could he say? He'd been used again. Not in the same way, perhaps, but he felt used, nonetheless. He had to get out of there, before he did something he might really regret.

Krycek stood as Mulder stalked off. He followed him to the door, then stood out in the bright spring sunshine and watched as Mulder kept on walking, out of his life once again. There was a knot in his stomach and he wanted desperately to call him back, tell him it was all a mistake, that they could make it work, but he didn't.

He went back inside and someone had put a quarter into the jukebox...

How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh ooh You're the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me, when all I can do is watch you leave 'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain, and even shared the tears You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, where there's just an empty space And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face Well take a look at me now, where there's just an empty space And you coming back to me is against the odds and that's what I've got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around, turn around and see me cry There's so much I need to say to you, so many reasons why You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, where there's just an empty space And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face Now take a look at me now, 'cause there's just an empty space But to wait for you, is all I can do and that's what I've got to face Take a good look at me now, because I'll still be standing here And you coming back to me is against all odds It's the chance I've got to take

Take a look at me now

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The End

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Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now) - Phil Collins
(1984 Against All Odds Soundtrack)
(Lyrics used without permission, copyright Phil Collins)

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End Notes:

Nikita had this lovely idea for a challenge Fest. And it had to be all about Mulder, who just happens to be my favorite subject, and it had to be slash, which is my second favorite type of story (after MT). I read the challenges and being the MT-slut that I am, I had to choose one where Mulder was hurt and needed comfort. Now my usual pairing is M/Sk, but for some reason a certain Rat decided that this was his story. So, this is officially my very first M/K.

Feedback is manna to the soul, and while you shouldn't feel you have to give any, I'm more than happy to read it. Even if it is to tell me I should stay away from writing M/K in the future <g>. As usual, I write for my own pleasure. If anyone else reads it, that's a bonus.

Apologies: To anyone who may have been expecting a "Happy Ever After" ending, but I just don't see how Mulder and Alex can live happily ever after.

This isn't a songfic, even though I've chosen some of my favorite music for the ending. I was listening to the Phil Collins ...Hits CD and just thought that it was appropriate for the mood. Try listening to it. The challenge I wrote for is: Challenge #2 Mulder is injured in the line of duty - (Skinner, Doggett, Krycek, or other) decides to take care of him despite Mulder's protests and anger at being helpless. Choose from one of the following injuries: Paralysis, blindness, both arms broken, or head injury. Major angst, h/c and romance! As I said at the beginning, I've taken a little liberty with what constitutes "Line of Duty", for two reasons. Firstly, Mulder is often getting into more scrapes when pursuing things that are outside of his official investigatory guidelines, and secondly, Alex told me to. <g> He said that he wanted to be in the story and couldn't be there for Mulder if it was an Official Line of Duty injury. And being the pushy assassin that he is, I didn't dare not do as he says. : )

Medusa
medusafox@bigpond.com
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