Ascent, Descent, Affirmation

by frogdoggie
frogdoggie@hotmail.com


"They only have one policy:
Deny everything."
-X in "Ascension"
***************************
After hours in the car trunk, the fresh air should have been a relief.
But for Dana Scully it only brought more terror as Duane Barry wrenched
her out and then proceeded to drag her up the side of the Virginia
Mountain.  She was still gagged and she struggled to work the cloth free
and then she fought to escape, but Duane had a madman's strength, and
all her struggles were useless.

Duane Barry dragged, pushed and pulled her up the mountainside, yelling
and screaming during the ascent, "They won't take Duane Barry this
time!" "Duane Barry won't have to go, no sir," and other similar phrases
over and over.

Reaching the top at last, he dumped her unceremoniously on the ground,
and then began to scan the sky, a look of frightened anticipation on his
face.  Scully tried to crawl away, but he grabbed her and hauled her
back, and then the sounds and the lights came, and Duane Barry jumped
around like a cat on a hot tin roof.

Helicopters were coming. Search lights, bright and piercing illuminated
their figures, and Scully was temporarily blinded by their intensity.  
The helicopters touched down, and the lights went out, and then there
were armed men, lots of men, dressed in camouflage, with black hoods
over their heads and night vision goggles cloaking their eyes.

One soldier knocked Duane Barry aside with the butt of his rifle, and
the madman fell to the ground in a crying heap, "Hey, we had a deal,' he
wept, "Duane Barry's not going, she is, her instead of me," he shrieked
as the soldiers grabbed Scully roughly by the arms.  She still
struggled, screaming through her gag now, anger and terror combining to
make her fight like ten men.

"Give me the fucking syringe!  Someone yelled and then, "hold her still
you idiot, I don't want to break the needle off in her arm,"  and then a
brief prick and she knew she wouldn't be struggling for very much
longer.  The sedative must have been very powerful, or perhaps her fear
and exhaustion made it work quickly, because soon her head was lolling
onto her chest, and she felt sleep dragging her into it's forgetful
embrace.

She was still aware enough, however, to realize that the men were
lifting her into one of the helicopters, and then that the copter was
climbing into the air, the bright lights once again sweeping the forest.  
Her face was pointed towards the door and below she could see Duane
Barry doing a crazy victory dance on top of the Virginia mountain.  And
then, just before the blackness over took her, she saw another figure
and she could tell who the man was by the way he was dressed, and the
way he moved, and she whispered, "Mulder," as she lost consciousness.

Drifting, she was drifting.  It was dark, and quiet, and warm, and
peaceful.  She didn't want to wake up, she wanted to forget, to be
unworried and unafraid.  But she couldn't help herself.  She was
floating back up through a drug induced haze and then she started to
remember who she was, and what had happened....and she was terrified.  
She tried to control her emotions, but it was very hard.  And then,
someone was pulling on her ankles and wrists...on her bonds?  "Mulder?"  
she whispered weakly, "Mulder?"  she sighed.

A cold voice broke through the groggy drug-veil, "Guess again, Agent
Scully."

That voice, so familiar, yet she couldn't quite place it, not Mulder, no
the other one - it was Krycek. Her eyes shot open and his face was
inches from her nose.

"Krycek?" she asked plaintively.  "What's happening, where am I..."  she
asked her lips trembling from the drug and shock.

"You don't need to know that Agent Scully,"  Krycek replied confidently
moving back from her face to stand at the foot of the table.

"Where's Mulder?"  she asked, craning her neck to look around.  She was
bound, or rather strapped down to some type of table, and nude except
for a sheet. The table sat in the middle of a room.  The room was white
- a bright white room...like an operating theater.  Her heart froze in
her chest.  "Where am I?"  she cried out, twisting against the bonds in
desperation.

"Hey, don't struggle, you're going to hurt yourself,"  Krycek advised,
no hint of compassion in his voice, "We don't want to damage the
merchandise. And as for Mulder, he's probably hauling Duane Barry off
the mountain by now.  Or maybe he's running around looking for you.  I
don't really care,"  he finished.

Scully fought hard to concentrate. She raised her head and tried to
focus on Krycek's face.  Krychek was in on `it', whatever `it' was - her
abduction?  Her abduction to where, for what reason, and by whom? There
were no answers.  The drug was muddling her thoughts, making it
extraordinarily hard to put anything together.  The implants, Duane
Barry, the soldiers, Krycek, the pieces of the puzzle just wouldn't fit.  
She finally resorted to one final important question, and she asked it
of the only available source.

"Why?"  she whispered to Krycek.

"Why not?"  he answered flatly and Scully lowered her head in despair.

A door opened at her back and someone walked into the white room.

"Shit, I told you those army assholes didn't give her a big enough dose.
She shouldn't have come around so quickly,"  the second captor
complained, "And what in the hell do you think you're doing talking to
her?  Now she's seen you," he added staying well out of sight.

"Who gives a flying fuck whether she sees me now or not?" Krycek shot
back, "You know she's never going to remember any of this anyway."

Scully listened to their conversation as if it was a dream. Maybe it was
a dream.  She wished it was anyway.  She continued to stare at Krycek as
he talked to the other man.

"Look, if you're so worried about her being awake, then go get another
syringe full of that joy juice and I'll send her to `la la land' again,
all right?"  he sneered.

"All right, but it'll take me a couple minutes.  I have to take this
junk to the lab," the other man replied and then the door opened, and
closed, and he was gone.

"Prick,"  Krycek mumbled and then he turned his attention back to
Scully.

"You know, Agent Scully, I could almost feel sorry for Mulder.  He's
really broken up about your disappearance.  Distraught even, you might
say."

Scully closed her eyes and swallowed.  `Oh God, Mulder,' she thought, `I
can just imagine what he's going through.' `Oh, please, don't let him
blame himself,' she thought, `Please.'  Weak tears began to fall down
her cheeks.

"Yes ma'am, he's a mess.  And you know I kept getting the feeling that
his concern went way beyond just concern for his partner, you know.  
Like, well, like, maybe the two of you are a little more close than just
partners, and in a very unprofessional way, shall we say?"  Krycek
hissed.  

Scully listened to Krycek's words and too many thoughts and feelings
flew through her mind.  Thoughts she had only half-formed before leapt
into the spotlight of her consideration.  `Mulder?  Close? The two of
them more than just partners?' she thought.  `Krycek is wrong,' she
insisted.  But a small voice broke through the drug and told her, `No,
Krycek is right.'

"Yeah, I bet he's screwing you.  Hell, I'd bet money on it," he added.
"Christ, with the way you look, he'd have to be dead from the waist down
if he wasn't fucking you," he finished chuckling.

Mulder had never touched her that way.  Maybe never would.  But her
heart told her she wanted it, and maybe he wanted it and...she'd let him
if he did and...her mind tried to focus on Krycek again because he was
asking her a question.

"Come on Scully, you can tell me, is he fucking you?  Is he good?"  
"Enguiring minds want to know," Krycek whispered.

Scully struggled to say something, "bastard," wouldn't escape her lips
and all she could manage to croak out was "bbbbb".  Krycek walked over
to her side and then bent down close to her face in order to hear her
words.  Scully gathered her wits, and strength, and spat, quite
accurately, right into his eyes.

"You bitch!"  Krycek yelled, backing up, and wiping his face with his
sleeve. "God, you cunt," he added.

Scully found her voice then, "You bastard," and the effort caused her
head to reel, `and he's more of a man than you'll ever be,' she thought
as her head sank back onto the table.

"All right, fine, if that's the way you want to play it, I guess I'll
have to teach you a lesson," he whispered, hate in his voice.

"If Mulder isn't man enough to bang you, maybe I should show you what it
feels like when a real man does," he spat out between clenched teeth.

Scully's eyes grew wide.  `Oh no, she thought, please not this," and she
began to fight against the restraints, and Krycek slapped her across the
face, and hissed, "Be still, or you're going to get hurt," as he
unzipped his pants.

He climbed onto the table top and pushed her legs as far apart as the
straps would allow, and then he began to stroke himself until he was
completely erect.

Scully made gurgling sounds in her throat, "No, no, no,"  she repeated
over and over, but Krycek wasn't listening.

Krycek reached back to undo the restraining straps on her ankles, "don't
try anything funny, you whore, or you'll really regret it," he
whispered, releasing her legs. He roughly pushed her knees up and his
hands groped under the sheet that covered her.  

Scully shrank from his touch and suddenly, the room came alive with
soldiers.  Krycek was pulled off the table top and away from her.  He
was yanked upright directly next to her head, and then one of the
soldiers brought a leg up and kneed him right in the balls.  Krycek
shrieked and collapsed to his knees, covering his genitals with both
hands.  Scully was aware of something burning, a smell, an odor
of....cigarette smoke, just as a cold, soft voice interrupted the
action.

"Bring him over here," the voice commanded and the soldiers lifted the
gasping Krycek and carried him off behind her head.

"Put that away," the voice hissed and Scully heard Krycek struggling to
zip up his pants.  Then there was a resounding `slap' and the sound of
Krycek falling to his knees again.

"Get up," the voice coughed, "and get out, you have your orders, I
expect you to complete them."

And Krycek mumbled something and then he began to limp away. The door
behind her opened, and closed, and he was gone.

"Move her," the voice commanded again and then the soldiers were re-
buckling the restraints, unlocking the wheels on the table, which was
now revealed to be a gurney, and Scully was being wheeled back, and out
the white room's door.

Darkness was engulfing her again.  She fought against it so that she
would remember as much as possible about the experience.  But it did
little good because her thoughts were so disjointed she couldn't focus
on anything long enough for it to stick in her memory.  

She slept again, and when next she woke she was in another white room.
This one was incredibly bright, brighter even than the other room, and
it was full of men in doctor's scrubs and surgical masks.  A man bent
over her, a Japanese man, without a surgical mask on, "Just lie still,"
he said, not unkindly, "We're not going to hurt you. Everything will be
all right. You're going to go to sleep and you'll have some very
pleasant dreams, and then it will be over," and she thought, `My God,
you've all ready hurt me more than you could ever know,' and once again
there was a tiny prick, and the drugs hit her blood stream and she fell
into blackness.

And Scully did dream.  Her father, dead for many months, smiled at her,
"Hi, Starbuck, don't worry, I'm here, I'll help you," and his smile was
warm and comforting, and she wasn't afraid.  And her sister, Missy was
there and her brothers and they were all so comforting.  Her mother
appeared and told her, "Dana, honey, just hang on, we love you, we all
love you," and she took courage from them all.

And then she thought of Mulder and out of the darkness he was there too.
Time shifted and she was walking into a basement office in the Hoover
building, and he was there for the first time.  He didn't trust her,
stood aloof, but gradually there was respect from him, and she grew to
respect him as well, and then that night in the hotel room he had told
her of his quest, the good fight of his life, and she understood him and
began to support him and...Time jumped and they knew each other better
and they teased and joked and he won her mind and then her heart.  He
was so sincere, obsessed with finding his truth, and she was so
skeptical, obsessed with finding her truth, and then somehow over time
it became their truth.

He was always there, and then he was saving her from some thing human,
and unhuman, and inhuman, and Tooms and then Danny Phaster. She felt his
strong arms holding her that day in Phaster's house as she cried and she
wanted to feel that comfort again, and again, and then, and then...he
was still there, supporting her, trying to buoy her spirits, backing her
up, trusting her, loving her? Yes, loving, and she loved him, she
admitted it, but they were so afraid of the implications and they
continued to keep a professional distance, a formality, a friendship, a
partnership a...a...until finally they could deny it no longer and
suddenly time jumped, and Mulder was asking her, `Will you marry me?'
and she was kissing him and saying, `Yes,' and then it was their wedding
night, and God she felt like a virgin, even if she wasn't, and he was
nervous too, but they were glad they had waited for that special moment.  
And then she was in his arms and it was wonderful, he was so considerate
and kind, and he stroked her and she explored his body with wonder, and
she was aroused beyond belief and she came under his mouth and hands,
and in time, at last, he was inside her, so warm and hard and loving.
She enveloped him, and he told her he felt so protected for once in his
life there was no fear, and he thrust into her and she cried out his
name in pleasure.  They moved together flesh against flesh, her soul
combined with his soul like their bodies, entwined at last and it was
perfect, and she held him tight between her legs as she met his pumping
hips, and he called out her name as he came, filling her with his
essence, and she cried tears of joy as she came again, and he cried too,
sagging gently into her embrace.  

And Scully dreamed.  And later she knew he had given her a baby, and she
was large with the new life, and he was touching her stomach and the
baby kicked, and he was grinning, and she was smiling, and then he was
there during the pain of their daughter's birth, almost passing out in
the delivery room, and she had teased him about it, and then a little
girl's voice was giggling, Daddy, Daddy, and he was carrying the little
girl on his shoulders, and they were all so happy, and the little girl
was growing up, and she had her golden-red hair and his dark, hazel
eyes, and then they were growing old together and then, and then, the
dreams stopped and she knew no more.

Much later, she labored to breath and she thought, `I want to go.' `I'm
not sure why, but I don't want to come back. Let me leave, LET ME GO!'
her mind shouted.  But, someone was holding her hand.  It was him, she
sensed it somehow from some far off land, and over a great distance. And
she heard his voice.

"I feel Scully that...you believe you're not ready to go...and you've
always had the strength of your beliefs. I don't know if my being here
will help bring you back...but I'm here," Mulder whispered.

And suddenly Scully knew she didn't want to leave, he had given her new
hope and power, the strength of both their beliefs, and she woke.
***********************************
"Before, I could only trust myself.
Now I can only trust you."
-Fox Mulder in "Little Green Men"

THE END OF THE WHOLE STORY