By E.D.
enigmatic76@hotmail.com
 

RATING: PG-13 for language
CATEGORY: MSR
KEYWORDS: Mulder/Scully romance
SPOILERS: Per Manum missing scene
SUMMARY: Mulder knows something's up.
ARCHIVE: Sure, just let me know.
FEEDBACK: enigmatic76@hotmail.com
DISCLAIMER: No ownership, no profit.
 
To banlu, for her birthday.
 
~~~

Asking for a Miracle
    By E.D.

 
OK, something's up.  She hasn't even said hello yet, and it's almost
11.  Not only that, she's been fidgeting all morning.  Tapping
pencils, drumming her fingers, constantly moving her chair around.  I
don't think she realizes that the wheels squeak.  I love her, but
this is getting a little annoying, now that I've noticed it.  Usually
fidgeting *and* silence only happen when Bill comes to town and he
just left for a long cruise.
 
Hmm.
 
Normally, I'd poke her for information, but it hasn't been long
enough since my I-know-why-you're-barren confession for me to be
asking her about anything personal.
 
I'm lucky she didn't shoot me.
 
"Mulder?"
 
"What's up?"
 
"We...um, need to talk.  I have to run an errand and I was planning
on taking the afternoon off, but we should meet up for lunch.  I made
some reservations at Coppi's, so I'll see you there at 1:30?"
 
"Uh, sure, see you then."
 
She had her bag together in record time.  Less than 30 seconds later,
the door closed behind her, and I was left to think.  And stew.
 
1:20 PM
Coppi's Restaurant
 
Shit.  So this is it.
 
The last couple of hours were spent staring at the wall.  On the way
over here, I figured it out - she's leaving.  I've finally driven her
away because I didn't tell her the truth.  Getting her to leave me
was my goal until she
was abducted, and if I were to be totally honest with myself, at
least a minor consideration since.  On one hand, I do still want her
to get as far away from me as possible.  On the other hand, if she
did leave, I'd beat myself up for the rest of my life for letting the
person who means the world to me slip away.
 
The restaurant was fairly quiet, small oil lamps on round tables with
thick white tablecloths.  A few clinks of silverware, a popped cork,
a little bit of conversation.  When I worry about it ending, there's
usually a lot more noise.  An argument over a case going completely
out of control, gunshots, even a car accident.  I'm at least mentally
prepared for those scenarios.  It's the quiet ones you have to watch
out for.
 
"Mulder?"
 
God, she looks nervous.  Nervous, but beautiful.  Black dress pants,
and a white blouse with an open collar.  The earrings are new, tiny
hanging gold teardrops.
 
Don'tleavedon'tleavedon'tleave.
 
"Hey Scully, what's up?"  I tried to stand up to pull out her chair.
That didn't work, but I did catch a small smile before she sat down.
Is she having second thoughts about quitting?
 
"I saw the doctor today."
 
Oh no.  Not prepared for this.
 
"It's not..."
 
"No, not an oncologist.  I got that second opinion on my ova."
 
"Hi, my name is Ian, and I'll be your server this afternoon..."
shocked me back to reality.
 
I placed my order in record time, and so did Scully.
 
Once Ian left, a nervous silence descended.  The conversation, which
hadn't gotten off the ground before we were interrupted, stalled
utterly.
 
We sat in silence for what seemed like forever.  And now we were both
fidgeting.  Once the food arrived, we both had something to occupy
ourselves with.
 
"There's a chance I can have a child."
 
"That's great!"
 
She smiled, a big full smile, all the way to her eyes and took my
hand across the table.  Her eyes were bright, without the aid of a
thick layer of tears.  At least she'll leave happy.
 
"I have to get started right away though."
 
I'm smiling one of those pasted-on smiles and hoping she doesn't
realize my heart stopped.
 
"I understand.  I hope teaching at Quantico doesn't mean the end of
our Friday night poker game though."
 
Smooth, really smooth, jackass.
 
Another smile, but a confused one.
 
"What are you talking about Mulder?  You've lost me."
 
"I'm sorry for the joke.  I know how important this is to you and I
meant to say that I understand if you want to go back to teaching.
That's why we're here isn't it?"
 
"Mulder, stop it.  That's not why we're here."  Cupping my hand in
both of hers, she stared at the tablecloth and took a few deep, shaky
breaths.
 
OK, now I'm really confused.
 
"We're here because I need to ask you something and I didn't want to
do it at the office.  I know that this is really sudden, it is for me
too, but the fertility specialist told me that this couldn't wait.
Mulder, I know that our lifestyle isn't ideal, but this is my only
chance.  I need to do this and there's no one that I would rather be
the father of my baby.  Our baby."
 
Come again?
 
"Mulder?  You still with me?" she asked as she gave my hand a gentle
tug.
 
"Ummm hmm."
 
"I know this is a lot to ask.  I should go, you need time to think."
 
She got up slowly, not looking directly at me, and I rose from my
chair
on shaky legs.  The request was starting to sink in.  Baby.
Our baby.
 
I did need to think, but I also had to go back to work.
 
5:30 PM
En route to Georgetown
 
Obviously, no work took place this afternoon.  I thought about Scully,
and babies.  At first, I only had selfish thoughts.  The baby was a
permanent tie between us.  Even if we stopped working together and
never had anything more, we'd still have birthdays, graduations, and
maybe school plays.
 
Then, all of the negatives.  What if we weren't meant to be parents?
What about the danger?  Who knows what that hopefully cancer-ridden
bastard would do if he knew there was a little piece of both of us
out there that we loved so much.  How would we work together, and
raise a baby together?  So I left the office, with the intention of
trying to convince her to wait.
 
"This is my only chance."
 
Scully's simple statement rang in my head while I was in the
elevator.  I
felt like such a schmuck.  She wanted a child, and after some
thought, I realized I wanted to experience that with her.  I love
her, and I want to see that smile as much as possible.  Visions of a
pregnant, glowing Scully, both of us in a birthing class, her
breaking my hand during childbirth, and Scully nursing our baby
propelled me the rest of the way to her.
 
5:45
Scully's apartment
 
I actually skipped up the steps to her apartment.
 
Then a chilling thought - what if she just wants my "genetic
material"?  She said "our baby," but what did she mean?
 
She opened the door, and we exchanged pleasantries.  She looked about
ready to jump out of her skin, so I tried not to waste time as I
stumbled around what it was I was trying to say, while trying to
figure out if she wanted me in our child's life.
 
"See what's weird is... this sounds, and this sounds really weird, I
know, but  I, I just wouldn't want this to come between us."
 
For the first time since I came in, I really looked at her.  The
smile was gone, and her shoulders were slumped. She looked almost
defeated.  Her eyes were clouded and avoiding me, instead of clear
and bright.
 
"Yeah.  I know.  I, I understand.  I do."
 
Understand?  I don't even understand.  Wait...come between us?  Oh,
shit.
 
"Well...the answer is yes."
 
I'll remember that smile for the rest of my life.

My questions can wait.
 
END