By Poor Mulder
vavie2003@wanadoo.fr
 

Rating : PG
Category : MSR, a touch of MT.
Spoilers : The truth
Disclaimer : These characters belong to Chris Carter and 1013 productions

Notes:  Written for the Mulder's Refuge April 2003 challenge

English is not my first language. So Toomsie had translated and Lisa has
done a great job to help us to make it coherent.
Gratitude for my friends.

Feedbacks ? Yes, of course. I live for it !!
 

"Maybe there's hope."
 

They had fallen asleep after making love for the first time for months, in
the motel room where they had taken refuge.
 

Mulder awoke startled, his body soaked with a soft sheen of cold sweat, with
the images of the nightmare, which had haunted him, despite Scully's
presence warm by his side. He rubbed at his face with his hands and rose
quietly, trying not to wake her. She slept peacefully on; so beautiful in
the half-lighted room. He brushed her hair away from her face in gentle
strokes until his fingers slipped down, barely brushing over her lips, still
swollen by the memory of his kisses.
 

He moved slowly towards the bathroom, his body heavy and exhausted by the
unrelenting drama of the last few days. He hadn't eaten a thing since his
jail break, and their subsequent flight to freedom, and he was staggered by
a wave of dizziness, forcing him to hold onto himself by the door jamb, to
avoid falling down. He waited a few seconds for the unpleasant sensations to
disappear, before starting to run the shower. He took off his boxer's
slowly; avoiding looking at his body in the mirror. The multi colored
reminders that he still bore the marks of his ill treatment, undergone
during his detention.
 

He closed his eyes against the cascade of hot water, and he tried in vain to
forget the memories and sadness that assaulted him, before being overwhelmed
by a fresh onslaught.
 

"No light!"
 

He had remained for days in the wet blackness of his cell, deprived of the
simple pleasure of daylight.
 

"No food!"
 

They had him slowly starved to accentuate the effect of their cruelty.
 

"No clothes!"
 

They had humiliated him by stripping him and leaving him naked, shivering on
the ground, hoping for the moment when he would finally reach breaking
point, when he would blurt out the confession that they were waiting for.
 

"I'll make you talk, bastard!"
 

Each time they opened the door of his cell, he tried to pull fetal-like into
a tight ball, as an attempt to protect his body from the blows he knew were
a heartbeat away; but each time the hard rib-breaking boots of the soldiers
assaulted him. He was too weak and outnumbered to try to defend himself. The
pain, bitter cold and hunger; the humiliation of lying naked and helpless on
the cold cement as the blows reigned down, had finally vanquished his
courage, allowing fear to bleed all over his sweat soaked body.
 

Words escaped his lips in a litany of self-betrayal.
 

He gave them what they wanted. It was the only way to escape their mental
and physical tortures.
 

He had almost cried with relief when they had dragged him roughly, still
naked, into the jail's corridor towards the showers. He had swallowed his
shame, his modesty and submitted to being washed under the scrutiny of their
salacious eyes, with barely tepid water, hands vigorously scrubbing at his
soiled body, their cruel laughter and bawdy jokes taunting his spirit and
dehumanizing his struggle since his incarceration.
 

He had feared that they would try a last, more odious humiliation, when he
stumbled frozen and weak out of the shower, but they had finally given him
clothes and he'd dressed as quickly as possible, still fearing their abuse
but reveling again, even in the simple pleasure of the rough prison-issue
fabric on his damaged skin. The soldiers had then brought him back to his
cell, and had given him food for the first time in days. His stomach, empty
for so long, had almost revolted, but he'd overcome his nausea and literally
scarfed down the disgusting meal. He had to gain his strength again if he
wanted to face them with determination.
 

The memories of his detention were being erased little by little; his heart
racing wildly as almost scalding hot water gushed down on his tense muscles.
He was free. Even as the thought went through his mind, he could hardly dare
believe it, that Scully was back by his side and the future awaited them.
Even if that future was filled with uncertainty.
 

"Mulder?"
 

He startled, hearing Scully's voice through the bathroom's door. Dragging
himself out of the shower, he got dressed quickly.

He didn't want her to see him like this, his body covered with hideous
bruises. A few hours earlier, in the half-lighted room, she hadn't noticed
his bruised body amidst the racing hearts and urgent caresses, their joint
need had dictated.
He opened the door and let her come to him in the steam-fogged room.
 

" I saved you some hot water."
 

She smiled tenderly, running her fingers softly over his rough cheek,
noticing the sadness that dampened his sparkling eyes. They were almost
gray, their once vibrant green/hazel faded by exhaustion.
 

"Are you ok?"
 

"Yeah. Just dog tired... and I'm starving." He managed a small grin. He
wanted to be honest with her. She deserved it.
 

Her smile widened.
 

"I can fix that. Why don't you lay down, while I go find some breakfast?"
 

"Good idea, Scully. "I'd say its definitely love."
 

He returned her gesture, caressing her cheek, the emotion of the moment
catching up with him, suddenly finding themselves in a tender hug, tears
threatening to choke both of them before he pulled back finally, leaving a
light kiss on her lips. She leaned back for a moment, taking in the reality
that he was here in her arms, her head leaning slowly into his warm chest,
enjoying the contact of his thin, but nevertheless, muscular body. Breathing
his healthy odor; a heady mixture of hotel soap and shampoo, she released
herself gently from his embrace, leaving him a last desire filled gaze of
her eyes.
 

"Just rest, ok? I'll be back in a few minutes."
 

"Careful Scully."
 

He nodded, lying down on the bed. He was asleep before she'd even left the
room.
 

**********
 

She let herself back in ten minutes later; her arms loaded with brown paper
bags filled with pleasing aromas of breakfast food. She left them on the
bedside table and went to sit by his still sleeping body. She hesitated a
moment before waking him. He seemed exhausted and troubled, even in his
sleep. His face was lined by new wrinkles, his eyelids encircled by gray
shadows. Softly, she caressed his hair. She'd missed him so much...
 

He blinked, slowly opening his sad eyes, finding her deep sea blue ones
settling intently on him. His hazel ones became animated as a wave of joy
passed through him. They were really together again; after months of doubts
and sadness. His presence beside her again, gave Scully strength and hope;
She felt able to overcome any hardship they'd endured so far, and their
journey to come.
 

They ate in silence; Mulder wolfing down the breakfast she'd brought, with
renewed enthusiasm for the luxurious taste of decent food again. Scully ate
hers slowly, enjoying the simple happiness of the moment and being together
with the man she adored, hardly able to believe he was truly here. Finally
satisfied, he again began the conversation she'd tried desperately to avoid
since the day before.
 

"Scully, we've got some important decisions to make." She shivered inwardly
at the serious tone of his voice.
 

"I'm an escaped murderer, Scully. Even if they don't start a manhunt, they
won't let me go. I don't have a future as Fox Mulder. That old spooky guy is
officially dead now. I have to give up my old life."
 

"I won't leave you, Mulder."
 

"Have you thought of the consequences if you do decide to come with me?" She
lowered her head, frightened to hear the thoughts and scenarios that kept
turning over in her mind since their escape.
 

"If you choose to go on the road with me, Scully, you'll be giving up your
family, your work, your friends, your home. You will have to leave
everything and everyone. I don't want to ask you to do that. I don't have
that right"
 

"Mulder..."
 

" I don't want to endanger you anymore than you are already, Scully. We'
ve... You've lost so much because of me..." His voice was a sad whisper as
it trailed away.
 

"But I also earned so much, I love you." She entwined her shaking fingers
with his and held on tightly, her eyes boring deeply into the pain she found
in his, watching the unshed tear amass in the corners of his dark lashes.
"You're my soul mate... the man I love and need and want to be with for the
rest of my life... As short it will be.
 

"Don't say that, Scully. I'll do everything in my power to offer you a
better life..my love.." He looked at her sadly, and caressed her tear
moistened cheeks; he caught one between finger and thumb, rubbing it
together as she watched his ragged breathing, the sincerity that oozed from
his heart and threatened to bulge out of his eyes in a torrent.
 
 
 

Her voice broken by emotion, she spoke again.
 

"I suppose that you planed for everything." A shy smile took shape on
Mulder's lips.
 

"We're going to find William." He said after what seemed like an age.
 

She gasped with surprise. That wasn't what she had been expecting.
 

" When I knew that... that you... had sent him away to a safe place, my
heart was broken. I almost hated you in the moment I heard... But I also
knew that it was the only way at the time for you to ensure he had a life
without danger. You did what you could, as only any mother could. But he's
our son, Scully. Our child... My child...I want him back. We need to have
him in our lives. Of all the people he relies on, there's no one like us to
protect him, ultimately. I refuse to let him grow up without us. We're going
to find him. I know where he is."
 

Scully stared at his face like he had sprouted two heads. Her heart started
to pound alongside the hope his words evoked.
She pulled him slowly to her body, needing the closeness. Her legs felt
unsteady and weak at his words and their implications; her heart overwhelmed
by roiling emotions. She felt the shame of having given up her child; the
deep pain of knowing that his proud father wished for him more than anything
in the world, and the hope that he now offered her that their dearest wish
might become a reality... dare they even breathe in that hope?
 

Suddenly they were both sobbing, caught in a savage embrace in their desire
to become one being,.one flesh.
 

******************
 

They hit the road again quickly; the early dawn sun just poking through
under an overcast sky, silence permeating their thoughts and anguish, fear,
excitement. Scully was still in shock at his revelations. He'd told her that
after leaving, a short time after William's birth, he'd had the Gunmen
create new identities for them all; False names, legal' papers such as
passports, social security cards, drivers license. Everything that they
would need for themselves and their son, a foresight made in preparation for
an eventuality Mulder knew was almost inescapable, even that far back.
 

He had also revealed her that he had invested his vast wealth; inherited
from his parents, safely in stocks and accounts in numerous locations around
the country and beyond, keeping them clear of any financial problems. They
could go anywhere they wished if they made it quick and got under everyone's
radar.
 

In a shy, almost awkward way, he had shown her a document that she had to
read over several times before finally understanding it significance.
 

Officially, they had now become Mr. and Mrs. Kane.
 

*****************
 

They had driven for several long days before reaching their goal, stopping
only at discrete 3rd rate motels; listening to radio information to check
that if their names were mentioned, or not. So far, so good. Nothing they
heard made them think that they were still being pursued, but they were very
careful, all the same; not letting their guard down for a moment, knowing
that the danger could come from everywhere, at anytime.
 

Scully, who was now * Dana Katherine Kane *, wore a bandana covering over
her blazing hair to hide the color. Mulder, now * Ira Kane *, let his beard
grow, knowing pertinently that their small strategy would not resist a
thorough investigation, if it came to that, but they hoped that time would
be on their side, and play out smoothly for them. It was necessary to travel
quickly to implement the project which was so dear and important for them;
more important than their own lives.
 

They arrived in the early morning light after the 3rd day of traveling, not
far from the house where William was living, since his adoptive parents had
died in a car accident. Mulder had explained to his partner how he'd
succeeded in obtaining this information. Unbelieving at first, she'd had a
hard time believing that Gibson had succeeded in locating their son, before
trusting Mulder's revelation completely. She hardly dared hope it was true.
 

Hand in hand, their eyes locked on each other's gaze, seeking the
determination and strength they both needed from each other to go through
with this; their last hurdle to be with their beloved son. If Scully had
been reticent at first, she was now more resolute than ever, knowing that it
was the only way and only one outcome would do; The safe retrieval of their
child she'd given away, after almost an eternity of tears ago..
 

It was now or never, their last objective before they burned their bridges
on the way to beginning their new life. They took a deep breath in unison.
They could not fail while they were this close.
 

All day, they thoroughly prepared each other for their commando style
operation. The small reception facilities at the home appeared easy for them
to tackle, but the success of their plan was based on them being discrete
and stealthy in their approach. It was vital that that nobody. Absolutely
nobody saw them.
 

Just past midnight, they had entered the large house, both dressed totally
in black; the first thing they had done was to make their way to the
administrator's office, and snag their son's file. Silently, they had
entered the children's nursery room where their child was sleeping, unaware
that his young life was about to change irrevocably again, this time into
the loving arms of his real parents.
 

Mulder leaned over the tiny blonde head tussled on the pillow, emotion
eating into him unexpectedly. Instinctively he knew this was William. His
heart told him so. With an infinite gentleness, he lifted the baby into his
arms and wrapped him in a dark blanket. The child didn't even stir but
sighed and drooled contentedly, face snuggled against his fathers pounding
heart ; eyelids not even flickering as he registered instinctively that he
was safe.
 

They were out of the building in minutes like silent black cats, slinking
away into the cover of night. The silence pounding Mulder's ears in contest
with his heart, as he fought his panic under control. Almost there. They
were hardly daring to breath. Their son gave out a huge baby sigh that
Mulder somehow managed to stifle without waking him up.
 

They were delighted and amazed not to encounter anyone in the corridors;
security had been taken care of with some application of Mulder's old FBI
bag of entry breaking tricks. Luck had smiled on them every step of the way.
He was theirs, all theirs. Mulder and Scully almost sobbed with joy to feel
their son in their arms again, a day they thought they would never see as
they took in his precious, tiny face, fingers and baby curls. Mulder gazed
adoringly from William, to his partner and mother of his child; Her
beautiful face momentarily obscured by his tears. His smile of joy was
enough to open her own floodgates before they made it back to the safety of
their car, and away into the darkness of the road ahead.
 

They had driven until dawn, swallowing miles and miles of nondescript farm
country and deserted back roads; going several times in a zigzag pattern in
case they were being followed. Later when the sun had risen, William had
opened his huge astonished blue eyes, before starting to cry. His happy
parents had looked at each other in shocked awe, before bursting out
laughing, releasing the tension that had held them in its grip for longer
than they could remember. Their little one was simply hungry.
 

They were parents again; nothing would ever separate them again. That
strength of determination and undyig love they had for each other, would see
them through troubled waters ahead!!
 

*********
 

Scully yawned and awoke, stretching, her eyes swollen by sleep. In the bed,
she groped around to find the reassuring presence of Mulder's warm skin, and
abruptly opened her eyelids when she found nothing. The early morning sun
flooded the room as she threw on her nightdress; one of her, two sizes too
big, Mulder sweaters, before padding, still half asleep into their son's
room. The bed was empty, but the sheet still carried the imprint of his
small body. She smiled; knowing where she was going to find the two great
loves of her life.
 

Silently, she went downstairs to the living room, heading towards the
half-opened French window. Without a sound, she crossed the terrace facing
the sea, and her heart swelled with such happiness on discovering the scene
her eyes suddenly fell upon.. She gasped, breathing in the salty air.
 

Mulder was lounging on the white glide hammock, rocking gently. His serious,
but relaxed face turned towards the pale morning sun, basking in its warmth,
his son peacefully sleeping in his arms, completely relaxed against the rise
and fall of his father's chest, his tiny mouth half-opened, his hair
appearing even fairer under the sun's rays.
 

Scully's eyes filled with tears of happiness, rolling slowly down her
cheeks. She wiped them with the back of her hand, before going to Mulder's
side. Mulder tilted his sleepy face up at her and she gave him back a
marvelous smile; one which chased away the melancholy glint, she could so
often see in the depth of his eyes.
 

" He woke up around 4am. I gave him a bottle of milk and some oatmeal.I
wanted him to watch the sunrise with me. Father and son bonding, ya know.
Obviously, daddy's appreciation for beautiful landscapes and nature is
something that junior here, has yet to acquire."
 

She suppressed a small giggle and curled up against her husband's shoulder;
playing with her son's blond wispy curls and enjoying the contact of Mulder'
s sun-warmed skin. Without disturbing his son, Mulder carefully slipped his
arm around her, their lips coming together by consensus and their quiet
breathing in sync now.
 

"You missed the sunrise, Scully, but we will have others. Lots of em; all of
us together."
 

"Is it a promise?" Her fingers absently stroking the fabric of Mulder shirt,
over his heart, as they both contemplated their miracle.
 

"You bet." He nodded at their still sleeping son, both of them marveling at
the wonder they had created and the fact that he was finally back in their
loving embrace; back where he always belonged.
 

THE END