There's A Different Kind Of Hush

By XSketch
XSketch@hotmail.com


WEBSITE: http://thesketchfiles.bravehost.com
CATEGORY: MSR. A
RATING: G
SUMMARY: An unnecessary trip to realise some truths.
ARCHIVE: You're welcome to it, but keep my name attached and
please let me know where it's going :)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a follow up to 'Enjoying A Different Kind Of
Existence', which was the sequel to 'A Different Kind Of
Christmas'.  I never intended for this universe to become a series,
but sometimes the muse just works that way LOL

*************************************************

He hovered above her silently, carefully - licking his lips in
anticipation of kissing her soft skin and watching those beautiful
eyes gently flutter to life.  It didn't matter that they'd been
together for thirteen years, or that for the last six (albeit
disrupted by a couple of extended absences) they'd been able to
share their love instead of hide it: every day, minute, *second*
was better than the last.  In a world where almost everybody lived
in ignorance of the coming enemy and threat to Mankind's existence,
they savored and treasured every moment of their lives together -
*nothing* was taken for granted...

...Especially not moments like now, when night enveloped them and
light from the moon or some other source would dance across her
relaxed features...

Closer, so that her perfume fills his senses.  Closer, so that he
can feel the warmth radiating off of her body.

As cliched as it was, these fleeting instances were timeless in
their own little world, and--

"Daddy, what ya doin'?"

Lips just a hair's breath away, Mulder sharply lifted his head back
and turned it to stare at the nearly five-year-old boy on the back
seat of the car.  Life had been far from easy or perfect since
they'd become fugitives (certainly even moreso since the wheels of
rebellion against the coming invasion had been set in motion), but
they'd been so blessed with their lives, each other and their son
that the luck afforded them overwhelmed him to near-respiratory
failure whenever he looked at either William or Scully.

The intimate moment was gone, but he smiled with love and pride at
the cause of its disappearance nevertheless.

"Watching your mom sleep," he whispered, lifting a finger to his
lips in hope that it would shush the boy.

"Can I watch, too?"

In the dark, silent car, the small voice was loud enough to wake
the dead, and Mulder quickly glanced back at his partner's lax
face in time to see it slowly stir - blue sapphires lazily blinking
for several seconds until they focused on him.  The unfulfilled
desire to kiss her became too much and his lips finally descended
to press sweetly against hers,

"Mm...You know, I should start charging for these staring sessions
- I could make a fortune," Dana teased, grinning as she raised a
hand to wipe the sleep from her eyes and then stroke his stubbled
cheek.  Her body shifted in the car seat and a frown quickly
creased her forehead.  "Mulder, why are we in the car?"

With an enigmatic quirk of his lips, Mulder dropped back into his
seat and silently turned the key in the ignition.

William's brow furrowed, and he stared at the back of his father's
head.  "'Home'?"

Mulder shot a glance over his shoulder, hoping his son could hear
his unspoken plea for secrecy.

As dictated by his genes and age, Will was naturally inquisitive
about practically everything, but his troubling, developing
'abilities' anchored him, in a way, so that if he sensed he was
nearing a painful or unspeakable subject with his questions, he
would back away.  Topics already stored in his 'do not touch' list
included his mother's health, the whereabouts of his parents'
families, and if he would ever have a brother or sister, among many
others.

And, now, the need to keep their trip to Washington D.C a surprise.

"Mulder?"

When Will nodded, Mulder relaxed and turned back to face the road -
ignoring Scully's need for an explanation also.

It wasn't long before Dana fell asleep again, and silence
enveloped the vehicle once more.

XxXxXxXxX

Mulder drove them from state to state, stopping at motels or rest
stops whenever he became too tired.  Scully asked over and over
again as to where they were going and the reason for the trip, but
he refused to give up any information, and she was only able to
discern that they were heading east from state and city signs.  He
had his reasons, she was sure, but hated the secrecy.

As Dana slept and the sun began to rise on the sixth day of their
journey, they finally reached their destination.

XxXxXxXxX

Nothing had changed.  It had been four and a half years since he'd
walked away for the last time, and yet as he looked up at the
black, looming building, it seemed like only yesterday.

*Mulder!  I need your help!*

*Did he hurt you?*

*It was my last chance...*

*Mulder!*

*The truth we both know.*

"You have to leave - go into hiding...*

*I love you.*

Mulder's eyes clamped shut as the painful memories haunted his
soul.  So much had happened here, both good and bad, and right now
he wanted  nothing more than to drive back to their bayside home in
Freesol on the other side of the continent, but they had to be
here.  The past four years on the lam may have had its ups and
downs, but at least they were nicely settled where they wanted to
be and not constantly driving from town to town, motel to motel;
were very fortunate and happy with what they had, especially under
the circumstances.

At least, that was what he'd believed until the ghostly visitation
of Melissa Scully two weeks ago with the cryptic message 'You both
have unfinished business, something to learn and truths to
explore.'  He'd wanted to ask what that meant but Dana had returned
with William and several bags of groceries, and the apparition had
disappeared into thin air.  Later that evening, though, as the
couple had snuggled together on the couch in front of the
television, she'd stiffened at the mention of Georgetown on the
news and he'd come to the realization that maybe their past wasn't
as forgotten or behind them as she'd made it out to be.

If here was their 'unfinished business', here was where they had to
be.  And if Scully wanted to be here instead of Freesol...they
would just have to find a way for that to be possible - their
safety was important, but not as much as the happiness of his son
and partner.

On the back seat, William began to fidget and shift nervously.  It
wasn't something unusual, due to his fear of the night and the
anonymous shadows that lurked unrestrictedly under its black
blanket, but Mulder suspected there was a lot more causing the
increasing panic pumping through his son's veins, and that hunch
was confirmed when William whispered, "Bad place."

Slipping slowly from the car so as not to awaken the lightly-
snoring figure slumped in the passenger-seat, Mulder opened the
back door and reached in to lift William out.  "No, not a 'bad
place'," he quietly assured, crouching down - the small chunks of
gravel under his feet crackling and breaking into even tinier
pieces.  "Just..."

*Donnie Pfaster would've surely killed again if given the chance*

*I'm fine*

*I just wouldn't want this to come between us*

*What the hell is this thing, Mulder?*

*I swear I'll be back as soon as I can*

"...It's just, uh, that there are a lot of memories here, both good
and bad.  That doesn't make it a bad place, though."

"Not home."  William defiantly folded both arms across his chest
and stamped a small foot on the ground - the scowling pout easily
transforming his face from a look-alike of his father's to an
unmistakable replica of his mom's.  "I wanna *really* go home - to
*our* home.  You do, too!"

More than anything, he really did, but the happiness of his family
was paramount - it had to be: his life depended upon it.  "I want
whatever your mom wants, and right now I don't know what that is."  
Mulder let out a deep sigh, knowing that not even he really fully
understood the reasoning for their being here, so it would be
impossible to try explain any of it to their four-year-old and
then expect him to comprehend any of it.  "This was Mommy's home
for a long time, and she had - *has* - a lot of connections here,
like Grandma Maggie...She has every reason to wanna live here..."

Will's face scrunched up even further in confusion.  "But...but
it's not our home...Doesn't Mommy wan' to live with us anymore?"

"Of course she does - in fact, she never wants to let her baby and
his dad out of her sight," Scully started as she moved around the
front of the car with both arms folded to mimic her son's stance.  
"She just wishes Daddy wasn't so silly most of the time."

Silently, Mulder stood back up but lowered his head to evade the
brief glare she shot in his direction.

The sound of her approaching feet scuffing across the gravel came
to a halt before she crouched down in front of Will and
distractedly fiddled with his jacket.

"Sweetie, could you get back in the car while Daddy and I have a
quick chat?" she asked, pulling the child against her for a quick
hug.

"I wan' to go home."

"And we will, in a minute.  But, please, just sit back down in the
car, okay?"

When Will, with a nod of his head,  had finally agreed and gotten
back into the vehicle, Dana waited a moment before sharply turning
on her partner, snatching his arm up into her tight grasp and
pulling him towards the front of the car.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she ground out in a hushed
whisper and gesturing toward the apartment building.  "Just...
J-just...wh-why?"

"I had another ghost visit me," Mulder hesitated, tentatively
lifting his head, "and...and what she said made me realize that
maybe you're not as 'fine' with our situation as you make out."

'She'.

That word alone had managed to block out the rest of his sentence
and send all emotions - including her heart, she wondered -
dropping leadenly into the pit of her stomach.  Seven years may
have passed, but Dana still feared both the idea and memory of a
certain deceased Agent Fowley - what her role in Mulder's life had
been.  If that was the 'she' he was referring to now, Scully knew
she wouldn't be able to stop herself from bursting into tears and
running in the opposite direction.

"'She'?"  She inwardly congratulated herself for managing to hold
back the choke and fear from her voice.  When Mulder's head lowered
again and he shifted irritably from one foot to the other, she held
her breath in anticipation of the answer that could bring the world
crashing down around them.

"Melissa...Your sister."

The force of the whoosh of air escaping her lungs could have
started a hurricane, or at least blown him over.  Missy.... He'd
confessed several times to having seen the ghosts of her sister
and father, but the thought still bore a twinge of longing and
regret that they appeared to him and not her.

"She...She t-told you I was unhappy?"

"She said we all had 'unfinished business'," came his explanation -
tired eyes raising once more to stare at her.  She looked neither
convinced or appeased by it, however, and for the first time Mulder
wondered if he should have mentioned this a lot sooner.  The
decision to drive back to a place where they would probably (most
certainly, in his case) be shot dead on sight hadn't been made
lightly, but he hadn't approached her with the dilemma, let alone
ask the truth from her - instantly eliminating the one opinion that
had ever meant anything to him - and now he was beginning to see
the consequences swirling in her mixed expression.  "And then you
became antsy when D.C was mentioned on the news and..."  His voice
trailed off.  Was that frustration creasing her brow?

"You thought I would rather be here than the home we've lived in
for the past three years?"  At his nod, Dana let out a groan of
exasperation and turned to look at the building.  Of course she
missed her mother and brothers.  Of course she wished that they
could go wherever they wanted to without fear.  Of course there
were times she became nostalgic when Will would ask for one of
their FBI stories.

But she didn't regret leaving to go on the run with Mulder, she
didn't regret any of the decisions they'd made over the last three
and a half years, and she certainly didn't regret a single second
of the life they'd lived together as a family in Freesol.  No
matter how much they felt cursed, they were also blessed, and this
was *their* life - no matter how different it or they may be.  She
would trade any of that for the world, so why would she leave it
for a home or life that meant nothing more to her now than their
past?

Straightening her back, Scully turned to face him again, but her
expression softened as she reached a hand up to pull his head down
for a chaste kiss.

"I ju-just...W-well.... Why wouldn't you?" her tall partner
stammered, pulling back only a fraction.  "This was your life..."

They hadn't had this argument for some time, and for a fleeting
moment Dana wondered if he was more worried about her missing the
D.C/FBI lifestyle, or himself.

"No, this is where I lived," she corrected, gesturing toward the
building with a dismissive wave of her hand.  "*You* have always
been my life.  You and William - wherever you two are, that's home
for me.  I know I may not be all that good at expressing my
feelings, but I had hoped to have gotten that point through by now."

"Your sister said--"

"Mulder, Melissa liked you - she saw the connection between us long
before I ever did, and made me realize that you weren't as arrogant
as I used to occasionally believe - so why would she say that I'm
unhappy when I'm everything but?"  A pause and deep breath before,
"If you're having problems letting this go, I understand...Maybe
this is *your* unfinished business because of--...the connection
left behind when you went into hiding--"

He shook his head, despite knowing deep in his heart that neither
of them would ever be able to truly let this place go.  "She told
me that we all have something to learn - truths to explore.  I just
...It's important to me that--...What?"  She was backing away from
him, seemingly panic-stricken.  "Scully?"

Truths to reveal and explore?  A couple more steps backwards, and
both of Scully's hands subconsciously lowered to cover her
stomach.  They'd always been honest with each other, but for the
last two months she'd been putting off telling him about a new
development in their lives - worried about his reaction, especially
as the date of colonization approached ever further and work to
rebel against said date intensified...Last time had been different
- they'd been purposely trying, and then - when they believed it
had failed and all hope gone - Mulder had been abducted...

It was only a matter of time before he would query about her
apparent gain in weight, runs to the bathroom would become more
frequent, and her ankles would swell up again like something out of
'Tales From The Crypt', and God only knew she didn't want to hide
this miraculous news from him any longer, but--

'Tell him,' something inside her whispered, and Dana faltered
before taking another step away from him.  'Make him believe in the
greatest glimmer of hope, and learn a truth you never knew you
doubted.'

"Scully, what's wrong?"  Firm but gentle hands grasped her arms to
stop her backing up any further as she blinked several times and
tried desperately to process the small voice.

Truth - their truth - to share and embrace forever.  Wasn't that
what they'd always vowed to have faith in between them?  He'd
driven them across the country and put his life directly on the
proverbial line to ensure her happiness when he'd thought here was
where she really wanted to be, so why was she so certain he would
react badly to this?

"Mulder, I--..."  Scully reached up to pull his hands away,
intertwined their fingers together, and then lowered all four palms
to press lightly against her still-unaffected abdomen - his growing
expression of confusion a treasure to behold.  "I know things are
going to get tougher and tougher as the date approaches, and I
swear that whatever you choose to do, I'll be there at your side
every step of the way..."  Confusion shifted to terror as Mulder's
brain concocted a hundred different conclusions to what was being
said, and she realized stalling was definitely not helping.  "It's
not safe out here, let's get back in the car."

"No, just tell me what it is!"  Frantic - demanding, even.

"I...I'm pregnant!"  There, she'd said it.  Now, she just had to
wait for the universe to come crashing down.

It didn't, though.  Instead, Mulder dropped to his knees - his
trembling fingers lightly stroking back and forth over the fabric
of her t-shirt and tears beginning to well in his closed eyes.  

He stayed there for long minutes, finding it difficult to believe
that he would be a father again.  Meanwhile, Scully's hands moved
to slowly comb through his hair.  A smile would have been nice - a
whoop of celebration more than she could have hoped for - but this
...This was beyond anything imaginable.

"A baby - a little brother or sister for Will...I-I--...It's
impossible..." he whispered before pulling away and looking up at
her.  "Is it okay?"

"I've not been to see the doctor about it yet - I wanted you to be
with me at the first appointment - but I'm pretty sure everything's
okay."

Mulder's heart swelled even further as he accepted her response and
lowered his head again to rest against her stomach - fingers
refusing to stop touching her.  He wanted to ask why she hadn't
told him sooner, but deep down he knew the answer and understood
the fears they both harbored.  In the end, though, all that
mattered was that they were happy: any obstacle that gone in the
way of that being possible would just have to be worked around or
dealt with head on.

Even the question of 'how' was pushed aside by silent mutual
agreement.  So much time and energy had been needlessly wasted
trying to determine the nature of William's conception when they'd
known all along in their hearts that he was theirs, no matter
what... It was time to accept, be grateful for, and enjoy any and
all miracles they were given.

"A baby...."  A chant of pure awe and fascination.  Suddenly he
pulled back again, though.  "This...This is good news, isn't it?"  
It didn't matter how exultant he was by the news: if she wasn't, it
would be her decision as to what happened next.

Dana smiled, surprised at how much the thought of the sacrifices
she knew he would always make for them without pause still
overwhelmed her.  "It's the best news ever..."

The sound of screeching tyres cut short Mulder's shaky exhalation
of breath and sharply dragged the two of them back to the shadowy,
insecure reality of their surroundings.  Both pairs of eyes
intently scanned the area for any movement, any threat, whilst
ears pricked to hone in on even the tiniest of sounds.

There was nothing to detect.

It was obvious they'd spent far too long here already, though, and
Scully - a hand still clasping tightly and reassuringly onto one of
his as he stood back up - moved back toward the car.  When they
were safely seated back inside its confines, Mulder dared to glance
at his partner questioningly.

"Back west?" he hesitated, turning the key in the ignition.

"Home."  When his gaze flicked down for an imperceptible
millisecond to take in her abdomen once again, though, her earlier
fears were unavoidably reignited.  "Mulder...You are okay with
this, aren't you?  With me being pregnant?"

Mulder startled, quickly turning wide eyes on her - unable to
believe that she could doubt for one second his skyward-bound
gratitude for the second impossible miracle they were being
granted.  Rebelling the alien forces and saving the world was an
important, necessary priority that could not be shunned, but it
came second (though both linked) after the wellbeing, happiness
and growth of his family - they would *always* come first...He just
wished he'd realized that a lot sooner.

"Of course, I am!" he croaked, pulling his hand from the keys and
reaching to clasp one of hers.  "I'm beyond overwhelmed, even - I
just want to be sure you're both doing okay."

"Daddy know about ma baby sister?" William suddenly excitedly
exclaimed, bouncing forward to squirm in between their two seats.

"Sister?" both agents queried, looking round at him before shooting
mixed glances at each other.

Before he could answer, the headlamps of another vehicle pulling
into the car park illuminated them for an instant, and they all
ducked down out of view.

"Take us home, Mulder," Scully whispered.

Her partner nodded, and it wasn't long before they were back on the
freeway out of town.

They remained in companionable silence, each happy with the company
of their thoughts and the presence of the other two bodies in the
car; each happy with the secure knowledge that what they called
'home' really *was* Home, and that that was where they were going
back to, more complete than ever before.  Even the spirits that
watched over them rested, their jobs - for the meantime - done.

As the war on Mankind kicked up a notch, bombs were going off,
people were being slain and evil was rising, but until they had to
face it head on, the Mulders were able to enjoy the silence and
their own different kind of peace.


THE END