By Susanne Barringer
sbarringer@usa.net
 

Date: Fri, 13 Feb 1998 19:03:26 -0500

I'm a lurker, but I've finally taken the plunge and tried it myself.

Ta-dum . . . my first fanfic!   :)    Thanks to all the fanfic
writers out there who've provided me with hours of entertainment!

TITLE:  End Detour (1/2)
AUTHOR:  Susanne Barringer
E-MAIL: sbarringer@usa.net
ARCHIVE:  Anywhere okay, with my name and address attached.
SPOILER WARNINGS:  Up to "Detour" (5th season)
RATING:  PG for language.
CONTENT WARNING:  the beginnings of MSR
CLASSIFICATION:  S, R
SUMMARY:  An alternative "Detour" episode.  Mulder and Scully are not
detoured on their way to the team seminar.
DISCLAIMER:  These characters belong to Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox.
No infringement is intended.

**********

End Detour (1/2)
by Susanne Barringer

Fox Mulder had not been pleased about having to attend the team
seminar.  Assistant Director Skinner hadn't given them much of a
choice.  He called the agents into his office just after Scully
returned to work after her cancer went into remission.  The new
Section Chief, who'd replaced Blevins, apparently had been
scrutinizing Mulder's employment file.

"Mulder, you haven't had any in-service training in five years,"
Skinner explained.  "You're up for review next year.  I suggest you
bulk up that personnel file.  Don't give them an easy reason to
challenge you."

Scully glanced at Mulder in time to see his look of disdain, but she
knew he couldn't argue with Skinner's point.   In-service was a
requirement of agents, to keep them up to date, and Mulder had
avoided it like the proverbial plague.

"But sir," Mulder complained, "Do we have to go to THIS seminar?  I
mean, Scully and I, well, you know, we don't really need to work on
our partnership."  He turned and caught Scully's eye and flashed a
half-grin, as if to assure her it was nothing personal.

"I know, Agent Mulder, but I'm doing you a favor.  This conference is
only a day and a half, not three or four days like some of them."
Skinner stood from behind the desk and approached the two agents.
"Besides, there aren't any 'How to Take Down an Alien' seminars this
year."  Skinner's mouth turned up in a wide smile.  Scully struggled
to keep from laughing at Skinner's attempt at a lame joke.  She
wasn't sure she'd ever even heard him make a joke.  Ever.  Even
Mulder couldn't stop the smile forming in his eyes.

"Okay, okay," Mulder held his hands up in surrender.  "We'll go."

"It could be good for us, Mulder," Scully piped up.  Mulder glared at
her.  Nope, they didn't need to practice communication.  She knew
exactly what he was thinking: <Ass-kisser!>

Skinner interrupted Mulder's silent condemnation.  "Try to have an
open mind toward this, Agent Mulder.  I know you have that
capability."  He almost smiled again.

After Skinner closed the door behind them, Scully commented, "Wow,
now *that* was spooky."

"What?  Skinner cracking jokes?  He's really fond of you, Scully.  I
could see that when you were in the hospital.  I think he's just glad
you're back."  Mulder turned toward her and placed his hand at that
comfortable place at the small of her back. "I'm glad you're back,
too."  Mulder's small gesture reminded her how much she had missed
work, or rather how much she missed working with Mulder.  It was
really the same thing, she decided.

**********

The ride from the Tallahassee airport to the resort where the seminar
was to be held was excruciating.  The two agents with whom they were
carpooling were far too perky, and their story of building a tower
out of office furniture was pathetically enthusiastic.  Scully knew
Mulder was near the end of his rope; it was all she could do not to
laugh out loud at his not-so-subtle slams of the vivacious agents,
but she didn't want to encourage him.

"Communication, that's the key," explained Agent Stonecypher, turning
toward Scully and Mulder in the back seat.  Scully faked a smile of
pleased agreement and thanked her lucky stars for about the hundredth
time that she had Mulder as her partner and not some annoying
optimist.  Sure, Mulder was annoying, but only sometimes.  And he
made up for it in so many other ways that she couldn't even begin to
count.

The truth was, Scully was actually looking forward to the seminar a
tiny bit, though she would never admit that to Mulder.  Things
between them had been slightly awkward since she'd returned to work.
It wasn't that things were uncomfortable, really, just that they were
having to readjust to being partners again.  It had been awkward
because . . .  well, because she hadn't died.

When she was in the hospital, and after Mulder had returned from the
dead, all their emotions and feelings for each other had been laid
bare.  They hadn't talked about it (they never did), but her
impending death allowed both of them to express, indirectly, what
they felt for each other.  It wasn't a surprise of course.  She had
always known that she loved Mulder and that he loved her.  What KIND
of love it was, exactly, she was only just now beginning to
contemplate.  The fact that she was dying had allowed them to act on
the affection they'd always felt but which had not been "proper" in
their relationship as partners.  Mulder had started kissing her hello
and goodbye, and they'd gotten in the habit of holding hands during
the time she was in the hospital.  None of it was sexual, though she
knew she had those feelings too.  She had always been able to keep
her physical attraction to Mulder at bay.  She was used to holding
back such feelings; she'd done it her whole life.  Besides, the
kisses and hand-holding between them were just natural actions that
sprang out of their deep affection for each other and the fact that
her illness allowed them to express it.  Nothing more.  At least she
was pretty sure it was nothing more.

The openness between them continued even after she got out of the
hospital and returned home for her convalescence.  Mulder slept
fourteen nights in a row on her sofa, just in case she had a
"relapse."  She had laughed at Mulder's explanation for his needing
to stay there.

"Mulder, I won't get an instantaneous 'relapse.'  That's not how
cancer works."

"Just let me stay, Scully.  Please.  Just in case something happens."
  He had begged her, making full use of the look he knew she couldn't
resist.

So, she let him stay.  Every night, in fact.  She didn't want him to
at first.  The last thing she needed was anyone hovering over her
constantly.  Eventually, though, she guiltily ended up enjoying
Mulder's constant companionship a little more than she should have.
They spent every evening watching movies or reading, curled up on the
sofa, almost always either with Mulder's arm around her or holding
hands.  Despite his protests that she shouldn't worry about work, he
kept her up to date on the cases he'd been looking at and what was
going on at the Bureau.  She was surprised to find herself anxiously
waiting everyday for Mulder to come "home" from work.  She tried not
to think too much about what that meant.

They played house until the night before she was to return to the
Bureau.  Then Mulder finally went home, realizing, as she did, that
they had to go back to being professional partners again.  After he
packed up all his stuff, he slipped out while she was in the bathtub,
without so much as a goodbye.  When she got out of the tub and
realized he had gone, she sobbed for a straight hour.  She cried the
next four nights too, when she came home from work to an empty house
and an empty sofa.  It had been two weeks now, and she still wasn't
used to it.  The absence of Mulder's constant presence had opened an
empty hole in her home, and in her heart, that shocked her with its
intensity.  Even though she spent all day at work with him, she
missed him in a way she never expected.

It was all because she hadn't died.  They had to reverse the changes
between them, forced to return to professionalism again.  They
stopped virtually all the comfortable contact they'd had.  It was not
something they talked about; they simply reestablished the distance
needed to function as FBI partners.  After all, they certainly
couldn't be so affectionate on the job!  She smiled at the thought of
the look Skinner would get on his face if they held hands in mutual
support during one of his royal reamings.  At first she had thought
that maybe they would be professional at work but then have some
leeway during their off hours to be close again, to spend time
together in the way they had while she was sick, a way they never had
before then.  But, it hadn't happened.  She hoped Mulder might come
by after work one night, just to hang out again, but he never did.
She finally resigned herself to the fact that Mulder wanted it that
way, that he wanted her as his partner and surely his friend also,
but that their relationship had to return to the way it had been.  It
disappointed her, but logically she knew it was the best alternative.
 They were partners, after all, and that needed to be their first
priority.

Still, she really missed that little bit of what she and Mulder
shared.  She missed the closeness and the openness of being able to
touch him when she needed to, without any fear of what the
consequences might be or what he might think of it.  Now she was back
to being afraid of reaching for his hand when she needed his
reassurance because, in the context of being partners, it would mean
something else.  She wasn't at death's door anymore, and that changed
everything.  Now there was something to lose.

Scully's attention was drawn back to the conversation between Agents
Kinsley and Stonecypher.  God, did those two ever shut up?  She could
see that Mulder was now well past annoyance.  He'd quit his sarcastic
comments and was simply staring dumbly out the window.

"So, how much further?"  Scully asked, hoping the torture would soon
be over.

"Not too far, Agent Scully," piped up Stonecypher.

"Another ten minutes or so," finished Agent Kinsley, as if on cue.
Scully saw Mulder roll his eyes toward heaven.

**********

They arrived in time for the wine and cheese reception, much to the
pleasure of Agent Stonecypher who was worried they'd be late.  The
relief of getting out of the car was plainly evident on Mulder's
face.

"Scully, if the rest of this weekend is like that car ride, you'll be
checking me into that loony bin you're always promising," Mulder
whispered to her as they entered the lodge.

Scully dug her elbow into his side.  "Shhh.  They'll hear you," she
murmured.

The seminar was being held at a retreat north of Tallahassee.  The
retreat was in the woods, with small cabins surrounding a beautiful
lake.  The main lodge was a rather large log cabin; smoke flowed
invitingly out of the chimneys at either end.  Even though the
weather was much warmer than it had been in D.C., there was still a
nip in the air.  Scully thought sitting in front of a warm fire
practicing communication with Mulder wasn't such a bad idea, then
checked herself when she realized that wasn't a very professional
thought.  Professional, she reminded herself.  She had a feeling it
was something she would have to keep reminding herself, constantly.

The four agents entered the main lodge and received their room
assignments.  Mulder was much relieved to find he would be sleeping
in a single cabin; Scully, though, had to share with Agent
Stonecypher.  "You could stay in my cabin," Mulder teased.  "We could
*really* see what kind of team we make," he leered.  Scully prayed
she wasn't blushing, and it only momentarily crossed the fringes of
her mind that his innuendo had never elicited that type of
involuntary reaction from her before.  She elbowed Mulder for the
second time in ten minutes.  Communication at its best, she thought.

Scully and Mulder dumped their stuff in their respective cabins and
then met up again to go to the wine and cheese reception.

**********

The morning session the next day, as it turned out, had nothing to do
with building a tower out of office furniture.  Scully was relieved
if only to not have to listen to Mulder complain about it for the
next two weeks.  Instead, they engaged first in those silly
icebreaker games so that everyone on the retreat could get to know
everyone else.  Scully looked around the room at all the partners.
Besides Stonecypher and Kinsley, she and Mulder were the only
male/female team.  All the rest of the agents were men.  She wondered
what they thought about all the mutual bonding and touchy-feely stuff
that went on at these seminars.  She knew Mulder hated it.  Of
course, Mulder was different.

After the icebreakers, Mel, one of the leaders of the seminar, took
the floor.  "In order to be an effective team," he began, "you must
be able to communicate with your partner, especially about your
partnership.  This is an exercise to get you talking, to establish a
dialogue between you which will, hopefully, continue throughout the
weekend."  Mel passed a photocopy to each agent.  "Feel free to
wander off; just find a place where you feel comfortable.  Think
carefully about how you would finish these sentences about your
partner, and write down your answers.  Don't be afraid to be honest
and answer fully.  We'll meet back here in thirty minutes."

Scully glanced over the handout and realized that they were going to
engage in the type of exercise often used in couples and family
counseling.  She scanned down the list:
I like being your partner because . . .
I don't like it when you  . . .
I trust you when  . . .
I get angry when you  . . .
We could be better partners if . . .
I wish . . .

This won't be so bad, Scully thought, but she knew Mulder would hate
it.  She sneaked a glance over at him and realized he had taken a
seat on a comfortable looking chair near the fireplace and was
already beginning to scribble down his answers.  Surprised at his
involvement, Scully sat down on the other side of the room and
started her answers.

Thirty minutes later, the agents gathered in the main room again.
Mel had placed the chairs in pairs so that partners would sit facing
each other.  "Now," Mel instructed, "you will read your answers to
each other, one at a time.  The reader should read each answer.  The
listener cannot interrupt.  At the end, the listener can ask
questions, but only questions.  No accusations or defenses, just
questions."

Scully felt confident about what she had written about Mulder.  She
had tried to be as honest as she could, but she had also tried not to
be too hard on him.  She knew he would take what she said to heart,
probably a little too much.  She was nervous, though, for some
reason.  She and Mulder hardly ever talked about their partnership;
it always seemed to be understood.  Mulder looked nervous too, she
noted; his leg was bouncing up and down.  She noticed when she
glanced at his sheet that he had written long paragraphs for some of
the answers.  She'd only completed the one sentence for most of them.
 She was shocked that he was taking this so seriously.

"You start,"  Mulder said.

Scully took a deep breath and plunged ahead.  "I like being your
partner because you challenge me and make me a better agent and I
trust you."  She looked at Mulder and smiled.  He looked so serious.
"I don't like it when you . . ."  Scully paused because she thought
this one might anger Mulder.  ". . . when we're working and you treat
me like I'm sick."  Mulder hardly flinched.  He probably already knew
that, she figured.

"I trust you when . . . well, I trust you always."  She hurried onto
the next one, a bit scared to look at Mulder directly.  "I get angry
when you ditch me!"  she said emphatically.  Mulder rolled his eyes.
 

"We could be better partners if . . . "  Scully hesitated again.  She
hadn't been able to answer that one totally honestly.  What she had
wanted to put on the paper wasn't appropriate for people who were
only partners in the professional sense, yet it had been the first
thing that crossed her mind.  So she'd gone with her second thought.
"We could be better partners if you wouldn't worry so much about
protecting me.  I'm in this with you, for better or for worse."  She
looked up at him, but he was looking at his hands folded in his lap.
"Don't leave me behind."  The spoken words sounded more serious than
she had intended them.  Mulder didn't move.

"Finally, I wish . . ."  Scully looked at what she had written on the
paper <we could be partners forever> and mentally kicked herself for
being so adolescent.  She decided to ad lib something a little less
honest.  "I wish you would quit feeling guilty about things over
which you have no control."  Scully let out a deep breath she hadn't
realized she'd been holding.

Mulder looked at her, the paper shaking slightly in his hands, but he
didn't say anything.  Scully worried that he was upset and was
getting ready to take his toys and go home.  "You're supposed to ask
me questions, Mulder."

He nodded but still didn't say anything.  Scully waited.  Finally, he
spoke.  "You're right, Scully.  You're right about everything."

Scully panicked; she had a feeling that Mulder was about to shut her
out.  "That's not a question, Mulder.  Don't tell me you're not even
going to challenge any of what I said."  She raised her eyebrows at
him.  He was inscrutable, his face a mask of seriousness that was
beginning to raise her concern.

"Later.  Let me read mine now," Mulder finally replied looking down
at his paper.  "It won't matter if we change the rules a little, will
it?"

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Mulder," Scully smiled to
take the edge off the comment.  Mulder just swallowed and looked down
again at his paper.  She thought it was cute how nervous he was, how
his usual cocky attitude and negative approach to exercises like
these had gone straight out the window.  At the same time, she was
curious to know what he had written--she could see, again, how much
writing there was on the page.

"Okay,"  Mulder took a deep breath.  "I like being your partner
because you listen to me, to my theories, and you don't always laugh,
at least not right away.  And because you respect the journey."
Scully smiled remembering when he had said that to her early in their
partnership.  "And because you're so *Scully* and you challenge me
and make me a better agent--we both wrote that, spooky huh?--and
because . . . "  He stopped.  "I guess I was only supposed to write
one thing.  I'll move on."  Scully was dying to know what he wasn't
saying.

Mulder took another deep breath.  "I don't like it when you won't
accept any help from me even when you need it."  He looked up at
Scully's raised eyebrows.  She opened her mouth to say something but
then remembered that Mulder had played by the rules, so she closed it
again.

"I trust you when  . . .  well, I agree with you--I trust you
always."

Mulder paused for what seemed like a full minute before the next one,
and Scully steeled herself.  "I get angry when you tell me you're
fine when you're obviously not.  You don't have to tell me
everything.  Just don't tell me you're fine when there's something
wrong."  He looked up at her pleadingly.  "Don't be afraid to talk to
me, Scully, about anything, or about nothing, or just to say 'I feel
like shit' or whatever.  It doesn't matter.  Just talk to me.  Don't
leave *me* behind."  His words had come out all in one burst and now
he stopped to take a breath.  Scully felt tears welling up in her
eyes, so she simply nodded.  She knew full well that her refusal to
share with Mulder had always hurt him.

Mulder continued, "We could be even better partners if . . ."  He
hesitated and looked at her.  He hesitated a long time.  Scully
prompted him with her eyes.  "We could be better partners if you
would trust me."  Scully's eyes widened as she looked at him.
"Completely," he added.

She couldn't stay quiet any more.  "Mulder, I . . ."

"Don't speak, Scully," he interrupted.  "You know the rules."  She
shut her mouth and glared at him.  How could he have said that about
her?  She trusted him entirely, with her life, with her soul, with
her heart.  How could he think that she didn't?  Her mind was
spinning.  She trusted him, didn't she?  Didn't she?

"I wish . . . you weren't sick," Mulder stated with finality.  Scully
could see he had a lot more written on his paper, but she figured
that from her reaction to his last comment he had decided he better
take the easy way out.

"Any questions?" he asked, grimacing like he knew he was about to
feel the infamous Scully wrath.

Scully waited a few heartbeats to catch her breath.  "Mulder, you
know I trust you," she finally blurted out.

"It's supposed to be a question, Scully."

Scully sighed with frustration.  Since when did Mulder insist on
going by the book?  "Okay, *why* do you think I don't trust you?"
She tried to cover up the shaking in her voice but she was pretty
sure Mulder had noticed it.

"Look Scully, don't get me wrong.  I know you trust me as your
partner.  I truly believe that.  But you don't trust me as more than
that.  You hide everything.  You say you don't like it when I am too
protective of you, but you try to protect ME all the time by not
telling me how you are, how you're feeling, *what* you're feeling,
when you're hurting, when you need me . . ."  He stopped, taking a
breath, thinking maybe he had gone too far, but then added,
"Especially now that we're working together again."

Scully felt her eyes filling with unshed tears and cursed herself.
Why had she recently been such an emotional basket-case where Mulder
was concerned?  "I'm trying, Mulder."  She said it so softly that he
could hardly hear her.  That's all she said; the fight had suddenly
gone out of her.  Just then Mel walked up, checking on the progress
of the agents.

"How's it going?  Are you communicating?"  he asked with a concerned
smile.  Scully turned away, trying to hide her moist eyes from Mel.
Mulder saw this, so he took it upon himself to answer.

"Yeah, we're doing great," he replied.  Mel didn't miss the sarcasm
in Mulder's voice, but decided to move on anyway.

"Honesty can only help a partnership," Mel commented as he moved to
the next pair of agents.  Scully indulged in a silent laugh as Mulder
flipped a bird to Mel's back.

"Okay, Scully.  I know you're mad about what I said, but this has
been hard, going back to being partners again after . . ."  He paused
as she nodded.  ". . . well, after having the chance to be just
friends for a while and not partners.  I miss . . ." He closed his
eyes briefly, then reached out and took her hand, squeezed it, and
let go before anyone saw.  She knew what he meant.  It was exactly
what she'd been thinking in the car on the way here.  It relieved her
to know that Mulder also realized that they had lost something.  At
the same time, it scared the life out of her, though she wasn't
entirely sure if she was scared that they would never have it again,
or that they would.

Mel's voice roused them out of their absorption in each other.
Scully had been so tuned in to Mulder that she'd forgotten they were
in the middle of a room full of people.

"Okay, people, let's break for lunch.  Meet back here at 1:00 and
we'll do something a bit more physical."

Mulder groaned, no doubt thinking of office furniture.  "Let's blow
this joint," he said to Scully as he snatched up his answers to the
questions and ushered her out of the lodge.

**********

End Detour 2/2
 

The tap on the door was light; Scully knew it would be Mulder.  She
had gone back to her cabin to "freshen up" before lunch, thinking
that Mulder probably needed some time to himself also.

Mulder entered and plopped down on her bed.  "Hey.  Whaddaya say we
skip lunch and take off for a while?  I need to get out of here."

Scully was still a bit shaken from Mulder's comments during the
exercise.  She wasn't sure what he was up to, but she suspected he
had an ulterior motive for wanting them to get away.  She decided to
be practical.  "Mulder, we only have an hour for lunch.  If we leave
we might not get back in time for the afternoon sessions."

Mulder put on his trademark evil smile.  "My thoughts exactly."  He
got up off Scully's bed and moved closer to her.  "C'mon Scully.
This thing is stupid.  It isn't helping us any; in fact, it seems to
be making things worse.  We need to talk, but we need to do it on our
own time, not because we're forced to because of some silly
exercise."

Mulder had a good point there, Scully thought.

He pressed on. "Why don't we go out and have some fun?  This is a
beautiful area; there's a place I'd like to show you.  You'll love
it.  I want to take you there."

Scully knew she was fighting a losing battle.  If Mulder had this
attitude the sessions would be useless anyway.  He couldn't work on
his team-building skills if he was sulking; anyway, she wasn't sure
she wanted to take their "dialogue" any further than they had.

"Please, Scully?  You only live once, right?"  As soon as the words
were out of his mouth, he panicked.  She saw the look of guilt cross
his face as he stumbled to cover up his verbal tactlessness.

She decided to relieve him fast from his inevitable guilt.  "Okay,"
she said quickly before she changed her mind.  "Let's go."  The
surprise on Mulder's face was priceless.  "Just don't blame me when
Skinner asks for your head on a platter for missing half the
conference," she chided.

Mulder was halfway out the door before she'd even finished her
sentence.  "Change into some comfortable clothes and shoes.  I'll go
borrow the keys from Kinsley," he shouted back at her.

**********

Mulder drove them south of the resort, into Tallahassee, and then
back out the south side of town toward the coast.  Scully sat
quietly, watching the scenery go by, until she couldn't stand it any
more.

"Okay, Mulder, are you going to tell me where we're going?  Just what
great place am I missing the conference for?"

"Give me a break, Scully.  I know you were dreading all that building
communication crap as much as I was."  He looked over at her and
winked.  "I can communicate just fine.  With you, anyway, and that's
all that matters."

"Yeah?  Prove it.  Tell me where we're going," she challenged.

"It's a surprise.  An incredible place.  You'll love it Scully, trust
me.  But it's too early to go right now, so let's stop and eat
something.  I know where the locals hang."

Scully stayed silent a while, figuring that she wouldn't get any more
information out of Mulder anyway.  He obviously wanted to surprise
her with whatever this place was.  Eventually, curiosity got the best
of her again.

"Mulder, how do you know your way around here?"  She looked at him
quizzically.

"I took a vacation here once."

"A vacation?"  Scully's voice sounded as surprised as she was.  "YOU
took a vacation?  Why here?"

"Well, I did the Ted Bundy serial killer tour," Mulder joked.  "You
know, I went to Lake City and Tallahassee, did some research in the
state archives, talked to some of the people who'd met him, had a
look at where he lived, where he worked, where he partied.  Usual
stuff."

Scully held back a laugh.  "Usual stuff?  Mulder, you have a really
strange idea of a vacation!" she chided.  Somehow it made sense,
though, for Mulder.

"Anyway," he continued without her prompting, "while I was here, a
10-year-old girl disappeared under mysterious circumstances from one
of these small coastal towns.  I joined in the search, so I spent
several days in the Apalachicola National Forest.  It's a beautiful
place and not at all touristy.  Just nature in her full glory."

"Did they find the girl?"

"Oh, yeah.  Turned out she'd just run away.  Nothing mysterious about
it."

"No aliens?  No abduction?"  Scully turned toward Mulder and smiled.

He grinned.  "Nope.  Just a down-to-earth kind of case."  They both
lapsed back into comfortable silence.  Just then, the road came to a
dead end at an old, wooden building.  Around the building were
run-down fishing boats and lots of boat parts, and there was a small
crowd of men gathered outside the door.  Scully noticed the red
lettering above the door, "Pauly's Oyster Bar."

"We're here!" Mulder said with excitement.  "We'll grab a bite and
then I'll show you that place I mentioned."  Scully got out of the
car a bit warily and followed Mulder into the bar.  The place
definitely had atmosphere; the walls and floor were wood and there
were long split-log benches and tables throughout the rooms.  There
were quite a few people there, mostly drinking beer and eating
oysters.  Mulder picked out a small bench in the corner and led
Scully to it.

"This place is awesome, Scully," he said.  "Best oysters around."
Scully sat on the bench facing toward the back wall which was opened
wide onto a dock.  The restaurant overlooked a small swampy offshoot
of the Gulf of Mexico, and the view was terrific.  It had a real
"Florida" feel to it.  She expected a gator to pop up out of the
water at any moment.

"You have to have the smoked mullet," Mulder commented.  "It's
unbelievable."  Scully perused the menu, but there wasn't much to
choose from.  Mullet and oysters basically.  The waitress appeared
and Mulder ordered two plates of mullet, a pitcher of beer, and a
dozen steamed oysters with horseradish on the side.

**********

Mulder was right; the food was incredible.  The oysters were bigger
than any Scully had seen before.  She wasn't really a big oyster fan,
but she couldn't resist Mulder's enthusiasm over them.  She wasn't
sure how he could even taste them with all the horseradish and
cocktail sauce he piled on top of them.  They ate slowly, chatting
about general things, both carefully avoiding the discussion from the
seminar that morning.  Scully knew Mulder had been right earlier.
They needed to talk about dealing with what had happened between them
when she was sick, but only when they were ready to.

Mulder told her about his last trip here, the search for the missing
girl, and how he'd hung with the locals here at Pauly's after the
search was over.  Scully was amused by the way Mulder seemed to feel
comfortable here, like he belonged in an old oyster bar with the
local fishermen just back from a day of fishing on the Gulf.

After lunch, Mulder challenged Scully to a game of pool on the
rickety old table.  Scully mused about the circumstance--playing pool
and drinking beer with Mulder.  It was definitely not a situation
she'd ever expected to find herself in.  Scully had played a lot of
pool in college and in med. school, and she was pretty good, if she
did say so herself.  She kicked Mulder's butt, actually, but had a
feeling he was letting her win.  They played pool and plugged
quarters in the old jukebox.  And they laughed.  Scully couldn't
remember the last time she had laughed so much.  Mulder kept her in
stitches the whole time they played pool, mostly with his jokes about
Agents Kinsley and Stonecypher.  He could do a wicked impression of
Stonecypher.

"When I stood on Mike's shoulders and I put that electric pencil
sharpener on top of the pile," Mulder drawled, flipping imaginary
hair off the back of his neck, "we both kne-e-e-e-w , we could never
have done it alone!"

Scully couldn't stop laughing.  Then, Mulder shocked the hell out of
her by doing a dead-on impersonation of Skinner.

"Agent Mulder," Mulder began, imitating Skinner's infamous scowl,
"try to approach this conference with an open mind.  I *know* you
have that capability."  Mulder even had Skinner's mannerisms nailed.

Scully giggled, her whole body shaking with the laugher.  She
wondered if Mulder practiced these imitations regularly.  "Hey, can
you do Frohike?" she challenged.

Mulder laughed and scrunched up his face.  "That Agent Scully.  She's
HOT!" he croaked.  Scully lost it.  The laughter overtook her and she
had to sit down on a bench near the pool table.  Her stomach hurt
from laughing so hard, and the tears flowed down her cheeks.  Mulder
just kept grinning like an idiot at her and asking her if she was
okay while helpfully reminding her to breathe.  She knew he was
surprised to see her laugh like that.  They didn't laugh very often,
especially recently.

Finally, she calmed down enough to speak.  "You're good, Mulder.  All
these years, and I had no idea you did impersonations.  How could you
have kept that a secret?"  She smiled unreservedly at him.  "You
better not ever imitate me!" she teased.

"Mulder, you're crazy!" Mulder squeaked, rolling his eyes with
exaggerated exasperation.  He burst out laughing in a thrilling,
rolling laugh that Scully was sure she had never heard before.  She
realized with a sudden shock that she and Mulder never had fun.  Sure
they had had a few fun moments, but never an extended period of
all-out fun like this.  There were always cases, or worries about
conspiracy, or concern about threats to the X-files, or dead and
missing family members lurking in their relationship.  Even in all
the time they had spent together during her convalescence, things
between them had usually been fairly serious.  She had never seen
Mulder so giddy, so happy.  Nobody had ever made her laugh like this,
and it wasn't just the beer.

Finally, Mulder racked the cue sticks and stated evenly, "We'd better
go if we want to get there before dark."  He hustled Scully, who was
growing increasingly curious about where "there" was, out of the bar
and back into the car.

**********

After only a couple of miles from Pauly's, Mulder turned off the main
highway onto a dirt road.  Scully was concerned that he might not
know where he was going, but she decided to stay quiet.  As if
reading her mind, Mulder commented, "It's been awhile since I've been
here, but this is definitely the place."

Scully looked around at the thick foliage, totally nondescript.  "How
can you tell?" she mumbled sarcastically.

"Scully, have a little faith, would ya?  I know what I'm doing."  He
looked straight at her and said, "Trust me."  She knew that it was a
challenge she had to meet.

After several minutes on the bumpy dirt road, Mulder stopped the car.
 "We'll have to walk the rest of the way."

"How far?"  Scully was trying her best to trust that Mulder was not
going to unintentionally lead them into some mess.

"'Bout half a mile, maybe less than that."  He jumped out of the car
and opened the trunk.  "Perfect!  I knew June and Ward would be the
ever-prepared agents," he said as he grabbed two flashlights from the
trunk.  "It might be dark when we get back," he whispered to Scully
very mysteriously.

Scully grabbed her jacket from the back seat of the car and set off
down the barely distinguishable path.  Mulder followed right behind
her.  Still feeling warm and fuzzy from the beer, Scully couldn't
resist egging on Mulder just a little bit.

"Mulder, why do I get the feeling you're leading me into the deep,
dark woods for some sinister purpose?"  she announced.  She heard
Mulder laugh behind her.

"Better watch out for the Big Bad Wolf, Scully.  You never know where
he might be lurking!"

"Hmmm.  Sounds like an X-File.  Little girl wearing little red hood
and carrying basket of goodies gets eaten by sinister creature with
lots of hair and very big teeth."

"All the better to eat you with, my dear!"  Mulder's chuckle rose up
behind her and made her smile.  They walked on in silence until
Scully heard running water.  A few seconds later, she broke into a
clearing and came face to face with a spectacular waterfall.  Scully
stopped in her tracks and looked at the clear water falling over the
ledge into a clear, deep pool.  It wasn't a high waterfall, but it
was wide.  The water fell over the side in a glass-like sheet smooth
enough to nearly reflect the picture in front of it.

Mulder didn't say anything but placed his hand on Scully's back and
guided her over to a large flat rock that faced the falls.  They sat
down and watched the water, the gentle sound of it lulling Scully's
alcohol-influenced brain into total peacefulness and calm.

Scully finally broke the silence.  "How did you find this place,
Mulder?"

"Like I said, I came across it when I was involved in the search for
that missing girl."

"And you remembered all this time where it was?" Scully asked,
surprised that Mulder would like such a place that much.  He was
surprising her a lot today.

"Yeah.  I was just waiting for a time when I might be able to come
back."  Then he added, "The right time."

They sat for a while, Scully admiring the waterfall and the scene
that surrounded it.  "Mulder, you were right.  This place really is
beautiful.  But it'll be dark soon.  We should probably head back to
the car."  She stood up from the rock.

"No!"  Mulder grabbed her hand and pulled her back down onto the
rock.  "The best is yet to come," he said, looking straight into her
eyes.  Her stomach flip-flopped at the momentary thought that his
words might mean something more than the obvious.  "Be patient."

Scully relaxed next to Mulder.  He kept hold of her hand and scooted
closer to her so that the sides of their legs were touching.  All of
a sudden, Scully had no desire to leave.  She reveled in being able
to be close to Mulder again, to hold his hand, to feel him next to
her.  It had only been two weeks since they'd turned "professional"
again, but it she felt like she had been starving for his touch, his
closeness.  Now that she had been allowed it, she was not sure she
could ever give it up again.  It was such a simple pleasure, but she
felt it almost necessary to her very existence.  Surprisingly, that
didn't even worry her anymore.

They sat, silently, holding hands and being together.  Mulder kept
his eyes on the waterfall and so Scully did the same, still not sure
exactly what they were waiting for.  As the sun set behind them, she
could see the dusk growing and the pink and purple streaks stretching
across the sky.  Then, gradually, the bright colors of the setting
sun filtered through the trees behind them and were caught by the
water falling over the rocks.  The droplets captured the reds,
oranges, and purples and threw the light out in all directions,
creating prisms of colors and brightening everything around them.
The waterfall looked brilliant with color, seeming almost to be the
sunset itself.  The sight was unlike anything Scully had ever seen.
Mulder let go of Scully's hand and put his right arm around her,
drawing her close; then he put his left hand on top of the hand he
had just released.  Scully let her head rest on Mulder's shoulder and
watched the light show presented for only them.

They sat like that a long time, watching the water dance with color,
thousands of prisms colliding and waltzing.  They waited until the
last light faded from the waterfall and began to leave the sky.
Darkness was setting in, but still they sat.  Mulder didn't want to
move until Scully did.  She seemed to be so focused, so far away.
Her eyes kept scanning the falls for the last few glimpses of bright
light, as if she never wanted it to end.

Finally, she shifted, looking up at Mulder, only to find him looking
at her.

"God, that was so incredible!" she gasped, her voice breathy.

"So are you," he said solemnly and without hesitation, his voice
quiet but strong.  He gave her hand a squeeze and flashed a smile at
her that made her heart flutter.  She wondered just when his smile
had started to do that to her.  Was it recently?  She hoped he
wouldn't see her blushing in the low light of the dusk.  God, how he
could do that to her twice in one day?

"Thank you," she stammered, "I mean for bringing me here.  I . . . "
She wasn't sure exactly how she could express her gratitude to
Mulder, not just for this but for the whole day.  For everything.

"It's okay," he interrupted her unfinished thought and looked into
her eyes with such earnestness and openness she couldn't breathe.
"I'd do anything to make you happy, Scully.  Anything.  I hope you
know that.  Did this make you happy?"  The uncertainty in his voice
broke her heart.

"Oh yes!" she assured him quickly so he wouldn't have time to doubt
himself.  "This . . . you . . . being with you again like this. . .
makes me very happy."

Mulder reached for Scully and wrapped his arms around her.  She
returned the embrace, knowing there was no place she'd rather be.
Without warning, Mulder leaned down and kissed her cheek, close to
her mouth, just as he had done on all his visits to her in the
hospital.  Scully instinctively buried her face in his neck, loving
this.

"I miss you . . . this way," she murmured, not even sure she had said
it loud enough for anyone but herself to hear.  It had taken every
bit of emotional strength she had to admit it, to actually, for once,
tell Mulder what she felt, to put it on the line, to not be afraid of
the consequences.  Mulder heard.  He pulled back, and then Scully
felt his warm, beautiful lips brush hers for the first time,
lingering just a fraction of a moment longer than his usual peck on
the cheek.  It was definitely chaste, but it was a line they had
never crossed, and Scully felt it through every part of her body and
soul.  The intensity of that simple kiss shocked her and thrilled her
and terrified her.  Mulder pulled away, but his arms stayed around
her and he studied her face carefully in the growing dusk.

"All I needed was to know, Scully."

She noticed that he was about to say something else, but whatever it
was died on his lips.  In a moment of sudden incredible clarity, she
realized what he was about to say, what he had been trying to say to
her that morning, what the whole day had been about.

"I have to trust you," she stated, surprising herself with how sure
the words sounded and with how suddenly certain of them she was.  "I
have to talk to you."

Mulder nodded almost imperceptibly; his eyes told her what she needed
to know.  "For better or for worse," he commented after a few
moments, repeating what she had said to him during the exercise that
morning.

Mulder stood and took Scully's hand, pulling her up beside him.  He
wrapped his arms around her one more time.  This time she could feel
his whole body pressed against hers, every incredible inch of it, and
she thrilled at her awareness of him.

"Guess we missed the rest of the team-building," Mulder cracked as he
finally released her.

"Yeah.  Bummer,"  Scully said with a smile so bright Mulder could see
it even in the near dark.  The sun had set completely now, and the
only light was from the full moon that had risen over the horizon.

Mulder grabbed their flashlights and, without a word, he and Scully
headed back to the car.  This time they walked side by side, hand in
hand.

END
_______________

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