By mlb
mlb@ipass.net
 

Rating: NC-17 Category: V
Spoilers: Zero Sum
Keywords: S/S Romance
Summary: Scully finds out about the deal Skinner made with Cancerman.
Disclaimer: All characters in this story, belong to CC and 1013. No personal gain is intended.
Feedback: Please (mlb@ipass.net)
Author's Note: This story ignores Gethsemane, Redux, and Redux II. No offense Mr. Carter, but I like my ending better.

The End of the Deal

by mlb

Scully walked slowly along the bank of the Potomac, looking down into the river. She and Mulder used to meet here during the time the X-Files had been closed, and now this place seemed peaceful to her. She smiled a little, thinking of that time. They had been so upset, yet looking back, those days seemed calm and serene. Yes, the X-Files had been closed, and Mulder's search for the "Truth" curtailed, but she and Mulder had both been comparatively innocent, and she had not been....

Her smile faded abruptly. Enough of that.

It was Friday afternoon, fading toward evening. Scully scheduled her weekly doctor's appointments as late as she could on Fridays if she and Mulder weren't out on a case. This allowed her to go directly home without returning to the Bureau, giving her the weekend to deal emotionally with any of the doctor's findings and to have an unreadable face in place for Monday. She needed time to have "I'm fine Mulder" ready for her partner, needed time to brace herself against the concern and fear in his eyes.

It was almost more of a relief to deal with Skinner these days. She knew he kept an eye on her as well, but he concealed it a lot better than Mulder, and he didn't ask her about her condition. She and Skinner were enough alike that he understood her need for privacy about personal issues.

"Don't you mean your need to hide from them?" part of herself asked.

Scully shook her head to clear it. There was no point in thinking about her condition or her obsessive need to conceal its progress.

"Condition?!" jeered the voice in her head. "It's not a *condition*, Dana. You're a doctor: call it by it's right name. You're talking about your terminal CANCER, aren't you? The time bomb in your sinuses, that will spread until it kills you? The illness that will make you weak and the object of everyone's pity?!"

"Stop it!" To her surprise, she spoke aloud.

This was why she refused to discuss the cancer with anyone, including Mulder or her mother, and why she refused to think about it, beyond the necessity of the weekly checks. The enormity of her terror was such that if she started thinking about the cancer, she would never stop. She wouldn't be able to concentrate on her work or anything else, and that was unacceptable. It was bad enough that Mulder had found her journal, written in what she considered a weak moment, and knew some of her feelings. Scully refused to reveal any more.

Penny, she thought desperately, remember Penny. Penny Northern had been brave, weathering her cancer and subsequent death with dignity and grace, even ignoring her own suffering to comfort Scully's fear. Scully was determined to do no less.

"Miss Scully?"

Startled, she turned. The old man who had warned her at Mulder's funeral that someone would try to kill her stood about 10 feet away. A long, shiny gray car was parked on the street behind him, and a uniformed driver leaned against the door.

Scully instinctively reached toward the small of her back, where her gun was holstered under her jacket. The driver stiffened, his own hand moving under his coat.

She allowed her hand to fall back to her side. The man hadn't committed a crime that she knew of, and she couldn't draw her weapon without cause. They were in an open area with other people in view, so an abduction probably wasn't planned. Glancing around, she saw no one else nearby, so this wasn't an ambush.

The man waited patiently until she was calm and then waved a dismissive hand at the driver who relaxed back against the car.

"I apologize for startling you, Miss Scully" he said politely "I just wanted to speak with you for a moment". He gestured toward a bench.

Scully waited until the man was seated and then sat cautiously at the far end of the bench. He was, as always, extremely well dressed; the pale gray trench coat (bought to match the car? she wondered crazily) probably cost over five hundred dollars, and the black shoes looked hand-stitched.

He studied her as closely as she studied him. His eyes went from her newly short hair, over her own gray coat, not nearly as expensive as his, down to her black pants and black pumps.

"You've lost weight," he said in a surprisingly gentle voice "and you look tired".

Scully stiffened. "I imagine," she said coldly "that you know why".

He sighed. "I do indeed. That's what I wanted to talk with you about".

She stood up, shaking with rage. If she wouldn't discuss the cancer with the people she cared most about, she damned well wouldn't discuss it with him, who was at least part of the cause.

"There's nothing to talk about" she choked and started to back away "What could you say to me that you couldn't say to Betsy Hagopian or Penny Northern or any of the others?"

"That your Supervisory Agent, Walter Skinner, has made a deal with an associate of mine to obtain a cure for your cancer".

That stopped her. Scully walked slowly back to the bench and sat down, breathing hard. She felt as if she had been punched in the stomach.

"An a...associate of yours?" she managed to say, thinking Oh, God, please no.

"I believe your partner calls him Cancerman. Rather amusing". The man watched her with bright, colorless eyes.

"I don't believe you" she said, while her hands turned icy and her throat dried up.

He raised an eyebrow. "Did I lie to you in the past?"

"No. But, Skinner wouldn't..." Scully ran out of words.

"Naturally, I don't expect you to take my word for this. Here." He reached into his coat and handed her a large manilla envelope.

She took the envelope and opened it with shaking hands. A cassette. Three pictures: Skinner and Cancerman; Skinner, talking with a police officer; and Mulder, standing outside an apartment building. The front page of an FBI case file, number 5004130.

"Mulder knows about it now," the man said. "But Skinner made the deal and performed the subsequent activity".

"All of this could have been faked." Scully said, forcing her voice to calmness.

"By all means, verify it any way you wish" the man said. "I'll contact you in a couple of days to see if you are satisfied with the information". He waited courteously until she stood before rising.

"If this is all true, why are you telling me?" she asked as he turned away. "Don't you and your associate work together?"

He turned back to face Scully, and the sudden rage on his face almost frightened her. "Usually we do" he said and smiled like a rictus. "However, certain things have come to my attention to make me interested in circumventing my associate's plans at this point."

He relaxed a little and said, "Besides, I thought you deserved the information. It is your life they're playing with after all".

Then he turned and walked up the hill to the waiting car, leaving Scully in the gathering dark.

-- --

Back in her apartment, Scully opened the envelope and spread the contents on the coffee table. She pushed the cassette and file page aside for the moment to concentrate on the pictures. None of them looked fake, but this wasn't her area of expertise.

The picture of Skinner and Cancerman appeared to have been taken in a parking garage. It was very dark, with the emergency lights the only light source, but the picture was clear. That's some camera, she thought.

The picture was angled up, as if the photographer was shooting from a low angle, probably from behind a car. Whoever took the picture was, *very* good at hiding if he could sneak up on Cancerman.

Cancerman was calm and relaxed, smoking his cigarette and looking amused. Skinner looked like he was going to explode, mouth and jaw tight, body clenched. Not that different from the way he usually looked, admittedly, but Scully could tell he was extremely angry.

She lightly traced her fingers over his form. "I hope this is a fake," she whispered "Please don't have sold yourself out for me."

Shuddering, she turned to the other two pictures. The one of Skinner and the officer didn't tell her much. They were in a parking lot, and the picture had a slightly hazy quality as if shot through a car window. Skinner was wearing a baseball cap and casual jacket, which looked out of place on him. She didn't know the officer, but neither he nor Skinner looked angry.

The third picture showed Mulder, looking upset, outside a high rise apartment building, which she thought might be Skinner's. She had never been there, but Mulder had described it as extremely pricey and had mentioned the exterior glass wall she could see in the picture.

"When you're Assistant Director of the FBI", Mulder had teased "you'll have to get an apartment like that. I can be your houseboy."

"I don't think so." Scully had replied, "I've seen how you keep your place".

Mulder had looked hurt. "I'd do better for an apartment like that. I'd even wear one of those little outfits with the apron and frilly cap."

Scully had raised her eyebrow, "That would be something to see. I'll keep it in mind."

Scully blinked, dispelling the memory. God, when was the last time they'd joked like that? The events of this last year had seemed to pull them apart and wall them off from each other. She didn't know how to reach out and had blocked all of Mulder's efforts to reach her, as she had blocked her Mother's and even Penny's.

Never mind. She would deal with that later. Scully took her cassette recorder out of her desk drawer, checked that the batteries were working, and inserted the cassette.

Moments later, she sat back, stunned. The cassette contained a conversation between Skinner and Cancerman. She had a feeling it had occurred in the parking garage meeting.

Skinner: You never had any intention of curing Agent Scully's cancer!

Cancerman: Can you be sure? I saved her life once before....

It could all be a fake, Scully told herself, but in her heart she knew the items were genuine and she shied from all that it meant, from what Skinner had done for her....

"No" she said softly. Before she considered the implications of Skinner's gesture and the actions she would take in return, she had to verify that the items were genuine. That required clear thinking, not an emotional fog.

She considered taking the items to the Lone Gunmen. She trusted them, after a fashion, and knew they could determine whether the pictures or tape were genuine. No. They would mention it to Mulder at least casually, and if she was being followed, as she thought likely, it would endanger them.

She looked at her watch. It was 8:00 p.m. There were always people at the Bureau.

Scully returned the pictures and cassette to the envelope and looked at the case file page, memorizing the number. She slipped the page into the envelope as well, and sat, considering.

She wanted to go to the Bureau, but she didn't want to run into Skinner, who seemed to live there. Mulder wasn't a problem. She knew there was a basketball game on that night he'd wanted to see.

She reached for her phone and stopped. Skinner undoubtedly had Caller ID.

Feeling like one of the Lone Gunmen herself, Scully put the envelope into her briefcase, grabbed her keys, and headed out of her apartment.

She stopped at the first working pay phone she found and looked up Skinner's home number on her travelling rolodex. She had never called him at home, but you never knew when it would be necessary on a case, so she kept the number handy.

Scully punched in the number and waited, not really expecting an answer. She was sure he was at the Bureau. Her plan was to keep checking: he had to go home sometime over the weekend.

"Skinner."

When he barked the response after the second ring, Scully was so startled she almost dropped the receiver.

"Who is this?" he asked sharply.

Scully had the idiotic feeling that he was going to figure out it was her in a minute. She banged the receiver back into the cradle and backed away from the phone as if it might bite her.

The world is coming to an end, she thought as she headed for her car. Skinner had gone home before midnight.

Since it was after hours, she had to sign in. The guard smiled at her as she flashed her badge and scrawled her name on the bottom of the page, making it as unreadable as possible.

"Evening, Agent Scully. Making you work on the weekend?". He flipped up a new page on the log book.

"Hi, Sam. Just getting caught up. You know how it is."

"That I do."

Scully made her voice as calm as possible. This is nothing out of the ordinary she thought at Sam. This is not memorable. She resisted the impulse to ask him not to mention seeing her and headed for the file room. It was nominally closed, but agents could get in. Cases didn't just stop because of the weekend.

She had contemplated accessing the file from one of the Bureau computers. However, if there was something going on with that case, computer access of the file would probably be flagged on someone else's computer along with her access code. Scully had a vision of Mulder, Skinner, and possibly Cancerman wanting to know why she was interested in that file. Her request to see the paper copy would also arouse interest but it should take longer. If what the man in the park had told her was true, Scully planned to resolve the issue quickly.

She handed a slip of paper with the file number to the clerk and waited. He returned with the file, and she nodded in thanks and slipped into a small carrel which shielded her from the door.

Half an hour later, she was still sitting there, staring blankly at the back wall of the carrel. The case had involved a woman named Jane Brody who had died in a bathroom at a mail processing facility. The crime scene had been meticulously cleaned before it could be examined. Several of Jane Brody's fluid samples had been switched by a man purporting to be Agent Mulder, although this had been proven to have been an impersonation by persons unknown. An officer, who had spoken to the fake Mulder, had been shot to death.

Scully swallowed hard as she looked at a picture of the officer who had been killed. She opened her briefcase and removed the picture of the officer speaking to Skinner in the parking lot. They were identical.

A Sig Saur, the gun used in the killing, had been found, but the serial number had been filed off. Agent Mulder had testified that the gun had been found in a sewer grate near the crime scene. Skinner carried a Sig.

She remembered the case now. She had asked Mulder what he had worked on while she was in the hospital for tests.

"Routine homicide" he had said casually. "Didn't turn out to be an X-File. We turned it over to the local police."

"Were you on it alone?" she had asked.

He had hesitated a moment before saying "No. Skinner was on it too."

"That must have been fun."

"You have no idea."

There was one more thing to check. There was a chance that the actual picture had been faked or that an image of Skinner had been superimposed. It was highly unlikely, but she had to be sure. A surveillance video had been taken of the parking lot, and had recorded the conversation between the detective and the fake Mulder. It was stored in the video room, two doors down.

Scully returned the file to the clerk. He looked at her quizzically "You OK, Agent Scully?" he said. "You look a little pale."

"I'm fine," she said automatically "Just a little tired." She glanced at her watch and saw that it was 9:30.

She checked out the tape and sat down at a viewer. The tape was fuzzy, but she could see well enough. It was Skinner. She even saw when Skinner and the detective reached the pose in the picture. She was amazed that no one had realized this before but, then, no one expected AD Skinner of the FBI to be impersonating Mulder and talking to a soon-to-be murder victim. Anyone noticing a resemblance would think "Hmmm, looks like Skinner, how weird".

Feeling sick, Scully rewound the tape. How could he? How could Mulder? Actually, she wasn't as surprised about Mulder, who had little respect for due process at the best of times. But Skinner, help cover up a crime?

Scully knew she should turn him in. It was her job. He had participated in a crime, at least after the fact. He had witheld knowledge of murder. She thought of Jane Brody's parents, unable to bury their child. For any other agent, except Mulder, she wouldn't have hestitated. But this was Skinner, who despite all, she believed to be funadmentally good and decent. And he was doing this for her.

She refused to believe he'd killed the detective. He wouldn't kill someone, especially another law enforcement officer, as a cover up. She knew he hated Cancerman. She had sensed his relief when he said he could no longer contact him. The Bureau and law enforcement were his whole life. If they found out about this he'd be fired, jailed, maybe even killed by the Consortium. Over what? Over a probably mythical cure for her cancer? Over *her*? Why would he possibly do this for her?

She stopped that train of thought cold. She wouldn't consider that. She couldn't. The important thing was what she would do now.

Scully returned the video and started for the door, stopping as she heard Skinner's deep voice in the hall. She quickly turned around and headed for her viewer, blessedly located at the back of the room.

"Forgot something." she mouthed at the clerk.

The voices faded. After a moment, Scully headed back for the door. The hall was empty, and she hoped that Skinner had gone to his office.

She forced herself to walk casually down the stairs to the door. Scully expected to hear Skinner call her name at any second, but she reached her car without incident.

-- --

Scully remembered nothing of her trip back to her apartment. Once inside, she sank down on the couch and buried her face in her hands. What, in God's name, was she going to do?

This couldn't be allowed to continue. Even if Cancerman had a cure, and she had no reason to believe he did, it was highly unlikely he'd give it to her. He'd string Skinner along, forcing him to cover up crimes, de-rail investigations, and play along with various plots. At the end of it all, after she was dead, he'd either have Skinner killed or sent to jail. The X-Files would be shut down. Mulder would probably be killed as well since he knew about the deal.

Scully began to pace as she considered alternatives. Confronting Skinner wouldn't help. Even if he agreed to cancel the deal, she had no guarantee he'd actually do it. Talking to Mulder wouldn't do any good either, since he was more likely to join in the deal than stop it.

Besides, Scully admitted, she was afraid to go to Skinner with this. The thought of saying, "Sir, may I ask why you have helped to cover up not one, but two murders and placed yourself in debt to Cancerman because he might be able to cure me?" to his stern face and unreadable eyes made her shudder. The thought of his answer made her shudder harder.

Another alternative would be to discover her own cure for her cancer. Scully had already read everything she could find from books, journals, and the Internet on standard and alternative therapies. She had contacted every person she could locate who might be familiar with research in the field. She hadn't been able to find anything. If any research was being concealed, it was being done thoroughly.

If Deep Throat or even X had been alive, she would have tried to contact them. She believed that either man would have helped her, even though a price would have been exacted. At least, then, she and not Skinner would have been paying. Scully thought that Mulder had another contact, but he was being very quiet about it, and she had no way to get the information without alerting him.

Penny had suggested that Scully's memories of her abduction might hold a key about what had been done to her. Scully would have been willing to try regression therapy again, although the first attempt had terrified her, but she knew that it could take months and there were no guarantees.

Time was a definite issue. Beyond the progress of her cancer, there was no telling what Cancerman would have Skinner do next. She could not allow him to become any further involved.

Scully drew a deep breath and knew she was down to one alternative. She was going have to confront Cancerman herself. Although the thought frightened her, determining a course of action allowed her to sleep fitfully as dawn brightened her windows.

Scully spent Saturday cleaning her apartment, which was time consuming and didn't require any thought. She didn't want to leave in case the man from the park tried to reach her. Her nerves wound tighter and tighter and she jumped at every sound.

She was worried that Cancerman was having Skinner do something else and considered staking out Skinner's apartment while listening for her contact on her cell phone. However, she knew that in her current nervous condition, she would be spotted in about 10 minutes, if that long.

Finally, by Saturday night, Scully forced herself to go over her section of a report that she haf to give Skinner on Monday. Mulder had, amazingly, offered to do the primary write-up while she handled the autopsy section. It was almost enough to make her believe in alien abduction.

She heard a rustle and turned to see a folded note slide under her door. By the time she opened her door, the hall was empty. She opened the pale gray notepaper.

"7:00 a. m. The bench where we met before."

-- --

When Scully reached the bench Sunday morning, she found the man waiting for her. The park was very still although she could see a few joggers. His car was parked in the same place, the driver occupying the same casually threatening position.

The air was chilly, and the man was sipping from a steaming cup.

"Coffee?" he offered. She shook her head.

He smiled mockingly, "I assure you it isn't poisoned, Miss Scully."

"That would be redundant" she agreed, "but I still don't want any, thank you."

"As you wish." He regarded her steadily. "Are you satisfied that my information is accurate?"

"Yes. Is this the only thing he's had Skinner do?" This was important: Scully didn't know how long the deal had been going on and what had been entailed.

"So far." the man answered.

"Skinner didn't kill the officer." She didn't make it a question.

The man smiled. "No. That was part of the set-up." He paused, then continued, "Although Skinner loves you very much, he wouldn't kill anyone outside the line of duty, even for you."

She stared at him, willing him to stop. He raised an eyebrow at her playfully "Perhaps, when this is over, he and Agent Mulder can fight a duel for your hand?"

Scully drew a deep breath. She wanted to cry, scream, kill the bastard who sat so smugly across from her, but she knew he wanted her to react. Don't give him anything she told herself furiously. Don't think about this now.

But it was too late. She felt a tightness in her nose and the now-familiar trickle of blood down her face. Automatically, she reached for her hankerchief, savagely pleased to see her contact blanch and back away from her slightly.

"Miss Scully," he said shakily. "I'm sorry. Are you all right?"

Somehow, she managed to say coolly "I'm fine. This happens a lot."

She waited a moment to let that sink in. He looked down, as if unable to maintain her gaze. Finally, she said, "Can you set up a meeting between myself and your associate, without letting him know it's with me?"

The man blinked. Scully, was aware that she had surprised him, and the thought pleased her.

"Yes. I could do that."

"It needs to be somewhere with other people around but not too nearby."

"That can be accomplished as well. May I ask, Miss Scully, what you intend"?

Scully shrugged. "To circumvent his plans."

"Very well. Will this do as a meeting place?" He gestured at the area where they sat.

She nodded. It seemed fitting.

"I'll contact you with a time."

Scully nodded again and stood. He stood as well. As she walked away, the man, smiled, and reached into his coat pocket to turn off a small tape recorder.

Scully felt the sobs shaking in her chest as she reached her car. By the time she was seated behind the steering wheel, she was gasping for air, unable to drive for her tears. She caught her reflection in the rear-view mirror. Her face was white, the eyes all staring black pupil.

The thought of Mulder fighting Skinner over her was more ridiculous than anything else. She and Mulder, without ever mentioning it, had somehow worked out what they felt for each other. They were each other's best friend, closest family. Romantic involvement would actually diminish what they shared, but Skinner was a different story.

"...Skinner loves you...." the words that she'd refused to allow into her conscious mind since Friday night, but now she couldn't shut them out.

"I can't!" she wailed aloud and bowed her head against the steering wheel, unable to halt the images that flooded into her mind.

...Skinner, coldy refusing her plea for his help to find Mulder; then, bleeding, bruised, giving her the coordinates...

...Mulder telling her that Skinner had re-opened the X-Files after her abduction. He had teased her a little: "Scully, I'm jealous. Skinner never re-opened an investigation for ME."

...Skinner telling her that the investigation had been closed on Melissa's death, dropping his eyes when Scully raged at him, getting shot when he investigated on his own...

...refusing to even look at her, focusing on Mulder, during that horrible, sad business of the dead hooker....

And there was one more image, the most damning of all, the hardest to face:

...the pain in his eyes when she had pulled a gun on him, suspecting him of attempting to kill her...

That was the primary source of Scully's guilt. Skinner had tried to protect her and had retrieved the digital tape to use as leverage against their common enemies. Instead of trusting him, she had turned on him. Yes, he had refused to listen to her in his office and had let the Internal Affairs take her badge and gun, but she should have known better. She should have remembered that Skinner had helped her covertly before while publicly disavowing her. Scully knew he had to walk a thin line between herself and Mulder, his own superiors, and who knew else, but she had listened to her fear because it was so much easier than listening to her heart.

Melissa had said it: "You're so walled off in your grief and your anger you can't even hear your own intuition."

"Oh, I could hear it Missy." Scully murmered, "I was just scared of it."

She had wanted to tell Skinner she was sorry for her lack of trust many times but had not due to her fear of what else she would reveal.

Scully had known, at least subconsciously, that she was strongly attracted to Skinner. Even back in the Tooms investigation she had felt a visceral response to him that she was ashamed of.

When he had said lazily, "Agent Scully, you wouldn't be lying to me would you?" she had launched into a neat response, but her stomach had turned over and clenched and she had felt an uncomfortable warmth in her groin. She had thought she saw an answering interest in his eyes before it was quickly shut down.

Shocked at herself, she had firmly repressed any such thoughts. She had convinced herself that Skinner could not be trusted, because that made it easier to deny that she had feelings for him. The same emotions had led her to believe that he could have killed Corrinna Sayles. Although, to be honest, that belief had been tainted with the overwhelming pain that Scully had felt over the fact that Skinner had been married and that he had slept with a hooker. The level of misery Scully had felt when she autopsied the woman, and the realization that she was jealous of a dead hooker had caused her to shore up every emotional defense she had.

She trusted herself completely when it came to science and logic, but emotions left her unsure and vulnerable. She had fallen deeply in love with Jack Willis and had thought he felt the same, only to find that, while he liked her and felt affection for her, that was it. While she had dreamed of their wedding, he had decided that they could see other people. After that incident, Scully was never sure that she was reading the other person correctly and she had a hard time trusting their reactions and her own. She was afraid that her overtures wouldn't be accepted and that even if they were, she wouldn't be what the other person wanted.

Even Pendrell's crush had terrified her, and if she had been afraid of Pendrell's expectations, how could she ever hope to be the kind of person Skinner could love.

Now Skinner had gone to Cancerman for her sake. Scully still couldn't be sure what that meant and she wasn't sure it mattered. She did know that she would not allow the bargain to continue.

Late that evening, another sheet of the pale grey notepaper slid under her door. Opening it, she saw the words, "1:00 p.m., Monday".

Oddly, she slept well that night, calm in the knowledge of what would happen.

-- --

Monday morning found herself and Mulder in Skinner's office, going over their report. She had managed to wall off her emotions to the point where she could function reasonably normally. Scully called her currant mind-set "Autopsy Mode", as it allowed her to conduct autopsies on rotting corpses and mutilated babies without losing her composure.

The meeting was going fairly peacefully. The case hadn't really been an X-File, and Mulder's report reflected that. He had done a great job on the report, including all the paperwork, and even spell-checking it. Scully was impressed. Skinner's eyebrows had gone up when he saw that Mulder had done most of the report, but he let it pass.

Finally, he sat back in the chair and said, "Everything appears to be in order. Agent Mulder, you may leave. Agent Scully, I have a few questions regarding your autopsy findings."

Mulder shot out the door, and Scully prepared for her portion of the meeting. She wasn't worried about the request. Skinner didn't have her technical expertise, and she frequently interpreted her findings for him so that he could, in turn, defend them to his superiors.

She began to explain her findings, finding comfort in the familiar task. However, as she leaned forward to point out a portion of the report, a red rop of blood splashed onto the page.

Scully jerked back, grabbing for her handkerchief. Skinner's eyes flashed to her and he nodded to the door without speaking.

She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. She was very pale, the blood a high contrast to the whiteness of her face. Apparently she wasn't in as much control as she thought.

Scully returned to Skinner's office and resumed her chair. He continued to look as the papers on his desk at he asked neutrally, "Do we need to continue this meeting at another time?"

"No, Sir." she said "I can continue."

"Very well. What does the pH level in the blood signify?..."

As the meeting continued, Scully fought down the urge to cry. He had respected her privacy and her judgement in a way that she didn't even receive from Mulder. Her emotions coalesced and she realized that she did love him after all, or at least, that she could learn to.

The meeting concluded and Scully headed out of Skinner's office. At the door, she paused to look back at him. He was seated at his desk, already examining the next report, a study in concentration. The knowledge of what he had done for her without ever letting her know washed through her, causing her heart to ache.

He looked up at her, frowning slightly. "Is there a problem, Agent Scully?"

Scully wanted to crawl in his lap and sob out the whole story, from Friday night to the realization of 10 minutes ago but her fear was too strong. She was just so *bad* at this. Her own emotions were so blocked, she had no hope of reading others and she was terrified of making a mistake.

She accepted that Skinner had made the deal: the proof was too strong. However, his motivation was unclear. His sense of responsibility for his agents could account for it, or his belief that Mulder needed her in order to function and bring down the Consortium.

He looked so distant, closed off, the only emotion, a hint of irritation. She couldn't blurt it out to him, when his response could so easily be surprise and embarrassment.

Alongside the fear, there was another reason. He had made the deal, whether out of love for her or not, and had been strong enough to conceal it from her and not add to her burden. She must do no less.

All this went through her mind in less than a second. Scully shook her head. "No, Sir. There's no problem." She stepped out of his office and closed the door behind her.

Down in the basement, she managed to work on some filing. Mulder was also quiet. Scully complimented him on his report and he smiled at her shyly and returned to his work, diligently filling out requisition slips. She wondered again about alien possession.

At 12:00, Mulder sighed, and stretched. "I'm going to grab some lunch, and then meet with a guy at the museum. You wanna come?"

"I'll grab some lunch later," she said, keeping her head buried in a file.

"Aw, come on, Scully. All work and no play...," he grinned at her.

"Lunch in a greasy diner, and meeting with a so-called alien biologist is play?" she asked with an eyebrow lift, finding comfort in the familiar banter.

"You just don't know how to have fun." Mulder grabbed his trenchcoat and stopped at the door. "I'll catch you later this afternoon, Partner."

Scully smiled at him, very gently. Mulder's face changed slightly, and she wondered, has it been that long since I smiled, at him or at anything else?

"Bye, Mulder."

After he left, looking troubled, Scully put down the file and looked around the office. It was cluttered, messy, full of things she considered nonsense, and her home for four years. She felt at peace here, oddly safe. For half an hour, she sat and quietly stared at various objects in the room, reliving the memories, good and bad, associated with those she knew.

At 12:30 she got up, ensured that there was a bullet in the pistol chamber before holstering it at the small of her back, under her jacket, and headed to her appointment.

From his vantage point, the Well-Manicured Man watched her drive away. He tapped his chauffeur, now dressed as a delivery man, on the shoulder. "Give her 15 minutes and deliver the package."

-- --

At 12:40, Mulder returned to the basement office, irritated that after he had bolted his lunch in order to make the meeting, the biologist had cancelled. He was pleased that Scully had gone to lunch, this would give him a chance to catch up on more paperwork that he normally left for her.

"Yep." he muttered to himself. "She's going to see the New, Improved Agent Mulder." His report had been the first step. No longer was Scully going to have to worry about him doing his share or not being strong enough for whatever she needed.

Mulder was sure that she was keeping the seriousness of her illness from him, and he was afraid that it was because she didn't think he could handle it. He wasn't sure he could handle it either, but that didn't matter. He was going to be there for her on her terms.

He had initially tried to make her deal with her illness the way he wanted her to deal with it. He had shown his fear for her. That was over, since it made her uncomfortable. Mulder intended to be what she needed, from here on. If that was space, then so be it, but he would, by God, do his share of the work.

Mulder went through his in-basket, and grimaced when he saw a follow-up report on Jane Brody. He didn't want to think about the Jane Brody case, or what Skinner had done, or what that implied about Skinner's feelings for Scully.

He smiled a little. When Scully was cured, and make no mistake, that was *when* not *if*, he would have to give a try at matchmaking, old Jewish profession that it was. He wanted Scully to be happy, and he also hoped that if Skinner was seeing his partner, he would be less likely to yell in meetings. Meanwhile, he would take the Jane Brody report to the file room.

A different clerk was working than normal. If Mulder remembered correctly, this one usually had second shift. At his unspoken question, the clerk grinned and said "John's sick today. So we're trading shifts. I'll get to go out on Friday night for once."

Mulder handed over the file and the clerk headed for the back, calling over his shoulder "You and Agent Scully are burning the midnight oil on this one."

Mulder's stomach dropped down somewhere around his shoes. He hoped he sounded remotely normal as he said "Scully was looking at the Jane Brody file?"

"Yeah, she was in here Friday night."

Oh my God.

Mulder wheeled and shot out of the file room. Two minutes later, he raced out of the video room, heading for Skinner's office. As he ran, he tried to dial Scully's cel phone, but it had been turned off.

"Scully, whatever you're doing, please don't." he whispered.

Kim started up from her desk as Mulder barged in. "Agent Mulder, he asked not to be...."

"It's an emergency...." Mulder dragged out a card and started to scribble 'Scully knows about Jane Brody', when Skinner's inner door crashed open.

"Get Agent Mulder...!" seeing Mulder, Skinner said, "Get in here."

As soon as the door banged shut behind them, Mulder said desperately, "How did Scully find out about Jane Brody?"

Skinner slid a picture across the desk. "This just came."

Mulder picked it up. Scully and the Well-Manicured Man, sitting on a park bench. Scully was facing straight ahead, so that her profile was to Mulder and to her companion. Her face had that tight look that Mulder knew meant she was trying to hide her feelings.

"I got this too. Listen." Viciously, Skinner punched the 'Play' button on a tape recorder.

"...Are you satisfied that my information is accurate?"

"Yes." Scully's voice. "Is this the only thing he's had Skinner do?"

"So far."

"Skinner didn't kill the officer."

"No. That was part of the set-up. Skinner loves you, but he wouldn't kill anyone outside the line of duty, even for you. Perhaps, when this is over, he and Agent Mulder can fight a duel for your hand?"

Both men heard her sharp, indrawn breath. Mulder could see the skin tighten down over Skinner's face. His hands didn't clench, but the skin at his fingertips whitened as he pressed down hard on the desk. Patches of hot color flared the older man's cheekbones. Mulder squeezed his own eyes shut. No matter what happens, he swore, I'll kill him, Scully. I'll kill him for getting that sound out of you.

"Miss Scully," they heard the man say. "I'm sorry. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. This happens a lot."

"Her nose started bleeding," Mulder said softly. Skinner nodded, dropping his gaze to hide whatever was in his eyes.

"Can you set up a meeting between myself and your associate, without letting him know it's with me?"

Static. Mulder's gaze snapped to Skinner's. "I've already tried to call him." Skinner said heavily. "He's not answering. Scully?"

"Her phone's off."

The tape had been running while they spoke. Suddenly, the man's voice broke in "Mr. Skinner, if you're still listening, you can reach my associate at this number."

Skinner began to dial as the man gave the number, "I didn't listen this far before. His little joke." He hit the speakerphone button and they listened to the ringing.

"Yes?" Cancerman's urbane, hated voice.

"The meeting's a trap. Get out of there." Skinner said calmly. He might have been discussing the weather. It's why he's the AD, Mulder thought.

"Mr. Skinner?" the voice said in slight surprise. Then, "Agent Scully, what a pleasant surprise."

-- --

Scully walked through the park toward the meeting place. It was more crowded than in the morning, but the bench was reasonably isolated. It was, however, in clear view of other people in the park, which was the intention.

She could see Cancerman on the bench. A groundskeeper was nearby, but that was all. She wasn't worried. No one else would be in danger. She had thought she would be afraid at this moment but she wasn't. She felt serene, as if the path before her was finally clear.

"Ahab," she whispered as she walked, "Missy, Queequeg, Penny, Betsy, Pendrell" the names of her dead, even those of Deep Throat and X stretched before her like links in a chain or beads on a rosary, giving her courage.

She saw him pull a cel phone from his coat pocket and began speaking. He glanced up, catching her eye as she approached.

"Agent Scully, what a pleasant surprise. I was just talking to your Supervisory Agent." He held the phone towards her. She could hear Skinner and Mulder both shouting "Scully! Get out of there now!".

Scully shook her head. She was glad to hear Skinner and Mulder's voices this final time, but she couldn't talk to them now. This was about her. Cancerman put the phone back to his ear. "She doesn't seem to want to talk with you."

As he spoke, Scully pulled the gun from under her jacket. The groundskeeper started for her, but Cancerman held up a hand. "Are you going to shoot me, Agent Scully? People keep trying to shoot me when I'm on the telephone," he continued in mock complaint. The phone was still on, and she could hear Mulder still yelling.

"This ends here" she said clearly, "but I'm not going to shoot you." She pressed the muzzle of the gun up under her left breast, tight against her heart. She could see the other people in the park start to yell and point. Good, there would be plenty of witnesses. No one could use her disappearance as a bargaining piece.

"Stop!" Cancerman said swiftly. "We can fix this. Let's talk."

"It's too late," Scully said and pulled the trigger.

Even as she did so, the groundskeeper cleared the bench and the six foot distance separating Cancerman and Scully in one leap and brought his arm down against hers, sweeping the gun from under her heart. He was slightly too slow. The bullet entered Scully slightly below her heart, preventing her from dying instantly, but fatal. Scully knew there was nothing anyone could do. She closed her eyes and contentedly gave herself to the darkness as the cel phone fell from Cancerman's hand.

-- --

Mulder and Skinner heard Scully's words and then the gunshot. Mulder doubled over as if the bullet had struck him. Skinner drew a deep, sighing breath. He reached out and brushed his fingertips across the speakerphone, almost carressing this last link to Scully.

He did love her, Mulder thought distantly. Oh, God, Scully, I am so sorry.

Skinner went into the outer office. Mulder could hear him ordering Kim to put a trace on Agent Scully's car that she had been injured and this was an emergency. Mulder held the receiver to his ear. He could hear distant voices all clamoring at once. Scully's was not among them.

-- --

Cancerman and the Bounty Hunter knelt by Scully's supine body. Her breathing had stopped a second before. People were running in their direction, some calling for help from cel phones. There were too many to contain, Cancerman noted, automatically.

"Heal her," he said briefly.

The Bounty Hunter looked at him blankly. "Why? She's one of the enemy and would have died soon of the cancer. She's out of our way that much sooner."

"Mulder and Skinner just heard her die." Cancerman said impatiently, "If Mulder would have been upset over the loss of his mother, he'll be desperate without Agent Scully. We'll also have Mr. Skinner as an active enemy. They'll undergo any consequence for the sheer pleasure of taking us down with them. Heal her. Now."

As the Bounty Hunter put his hand on Scully's head, Cancerman continued, "Get the cancer too. I don't want her to pull this stunt again." he added irritably.

The Bounty Hunter nodded and closed his eyes in concentration. Cancerman stood up and began waving people back, "The situation's under control." His voice was sufficiently calm and commanding that people moved their audience a few feet. He could hear sirens in the distance. He knelt back by Scully, keeping his body between her and the crowd.

The Bounty Hunter opened his eyes. "I can't reach her."

"What?"

"She won't come back."

"She has to." Cancerman leaned down and spoke into her ear. "Agent Scully, your cancer has been cured. Come back."

-- --

Scully gazed around her in delight. She was standing in a bright green meadow, starred with wildflowers. A warm sun shone from a deep blue sky. Ahead of her lay a shining river with people moving about on the other shore. She began to run towards it, moving weightlessly over the grass.

"Ahab" she whispered again "Missy, Penny," hoping that the names would direct her progress.

But it was none of those beloved figures that she saw. Instead, Clyde Bruckman suddenly stood before her. He looked much happier than he had the last time she saw him alive. Although he was still bald and slightly heavy, he seemed to radiate health and good spirits.

Scully was happy to see him, but anxious to cross the river. She could see a head of shining hair that she thought might belong to Missy. When she tried to move around Clyde however, he caught her by the shoulders. She struggled but was unable to get away despite her training.

"Let me go," she cried.

"You can't go stay here, Agent Scully." he said, holding her fast. "You don't belong."

"Yes I do. I'm dead! I paid the price!" she said furiously.

"No. I told you, you don't die," he reminded her. "Are you going to make a liar out of me?"

She frowned a little, remembering. She didn't want to think about it right now. "But I... killed myself. It was the only way to stop him."

"I know," Clyde nodded. "But now you have to go back."

Scully shook her head. "I'll just die again from the cancer."

"No. Listen."

From far away, she could hear Cancerman's voice. It couldn't penetrate very far, but she understood the words. "Your cancer is cured. Come back."

"He's lying."

"No one can lie here," Penny stood beside Clyde, her long hair shining in the sun. She touched the bridge of Scully's nose. "Your cancer is gone, Dana, and you need to go back." She looked at Scully lovingly but implacably. "Go back and don't let them do this to anyone else."

Scully bowed her head, trying to fight back tears. She knew they were right, and that she had work to do, but she didn't want to go back. It was beautiful here and peaceful. She felt happy for the first time in a long time.

"You can be happy there, too." Penny said, drawing her into an embrace, "But you have to choose to be. You have to live. Not just not die."

Looking over Penny's shoulder, Scully saw the bright-haired woman on the other side of the river lift a hand in farewell. Miserably, she turned and started back the way she had come.

"Wait!" Clyde ran up beside her. "Remind Mulder about the whole auto- erotic thing, OK? He needs to know."

That made her laugh a little as she walked away, moving faster and faster as the meadow seemed to flow out from under her feet. Scully blinked against a blinding flash of light. When she opened her eyes, she was lying in the park, and Cancerman and the Bounty Hunter were bending over her.

She realized that she felt fine: she wasn't even tired. Startled, she raised her hand to her ribs where the bullet had entered. There was a hole in her shirt, but the skin beneath was unmarked.

Cancerman and the Bounty Hunter backed away from her, disappearing into the crowd that was surrounding her. She started to call for someone to stop them, but gave up. What was she going to charge them with after all.

She could hear the crowd murmuring. "She was shot.... What happened? ...Thought she was dead.... ...Some kind of stunt...."

White-coated EMTs jogged up to her, and Scully automatically pulled out her badge. "We had a call that someone was shot." He stared at her torn, bloody shirt, "Are you OK, Miss?"

Scully saw a blue Taurus pull up at the edge of the park. Mulder leaped out of the passenger door and sprinted toward her. Skinner got more slowly out of the driver's side, looking further down the street. Following his gaze, she saw Cancerman. He smiled, nodded to Skinner, and turned to walk away. Skinner started to follow, then gave up.

He turned back towards her and their gazes locked.

Scully suddenly decided that she couldn't face either man right now. She needed time to process the fact that she was going to live after all. "I need to go to the hospital," she said firmly to the mystified EMT. "Plese page Dr. Tompkins. He's my oncologist. I'm going to need some tests."

She scrambled onto the stretcher as Mulder began to force his way through the crowd. "Scully!"

"I'm fine, Mulder," she said and closed her eyes.

-- --

Mulder and Skinner sat in a deserted waiting room near the oncology wing where they had waited for three hours while Scully underwent various tests. By common consent, neither man had attempted to contact Margaret Scully.

Mulder sneaked glances at Skinner, who was staring fixedly at a framed watercolor. He was aware he was taking his life in his hands, but decided to say it anyway.

"Sir, about that tape."

Skinner's eyes lowered to his and narrowed. "Agent Mulder...."

It was a warning. Oh, what the hell, he never listened to those, anyway. Mulder talked fast, "I think you should know there is nothing of a romantic nature between Agent Scully and myself."

"Agent Mulder!" Mulder thought Skinner was going to hit him, but the older man pulled himself back under control. "This is a highly inappropriate discussion, even if there were anything to discuss."

Further conversation was prevented by Scully's doctor, who appeared in the doorway, looking completely baffled.

"How is Agent Scully?" Skinner's voice was tight but calm.

"She's fine" Dr. Tompkins said. "We're keeping her for observation, but she's *absolutely* fine." He waved her chart vaguely in the air. "You can go see her."

Every muscle in Mulder's body twitched with the desire to go to Scully, but he held himself still. This was between his boss and his partner. He was willing to step aside, or he would make himself be willing.

Skinner breathed out, relaxing. "Go see her, Mulder."

"Sir, are you sure?"

"Go, Mulder." The words were curt, but the voice was quiet. As Mulder watched him, Skinner managed a slight half-smile. "You're her partner."

-- --

Scully lay on her hospital bed. She felt dazed, tired now with the reaction of all that occurred. She had, after all, been prepared to die. Now, it seemed she would have to learn to live again.

A tap on her door interrupted her thoughts. Mulder's touseled head peeked in. At the sight of him, her eyes suddenly filled with tears. Mulder. She had thought she would never see him again.

"Hey, Partner."

Mulder sank down on the side of her bed, taking her hand. She saw to her amazement that there were tears in his own eyes. "Thanks for ditching me," he said, "I think you win the ditch game."

She buried her face in his shoulder.

"I had to," she said. "I couldn't let Skinner go through with the deal."

"I know," Mulder soothed. "I listened to a tape that got sent to him."

"A tape?"

"When you told your new best friend to set up the meeting with Cancerman."

Scully jerked back, staring at Mulder's face. "How much was on that tape?"

He watched her steadily. "The whole thing, Scully. Including how he said Skinner felt about you."

"Oh, God." She leaned back and pressed the heels of her hands over her eyes.

"This is all very interesting," Mulder said, "but how are you? If you say fine, I warn you I'll turn violent."

Scully glared at him. "If anyone's going to turn violent, it's going to be me. How could you get involved in such an idiot stunt? Why didn't you tell me? How *dare* you and Skinner decide such a thing without me!"

Mulder held up his hands in defense. "Hey, he's my Supervisory Agent. What choice did I have?"

The absolutely idiotic nature of his response, actually made her laugh, defusing her anger, at least for the moment. "The tumor's gone, vanished, poof."

"Poof? Explain to me the scientific nature of poof."

After a moment, her smile faded. "Are you OK about everything? About Skinner, I mean?"

Mulder nodded. "Whatever you decide's fine with me, Scully. How are you about it? Is there even an it?"

"I don't know" she said honestly. "I don't know what's going on with him or me or anybody else. I guess that's something we'll have to work out."

"Well, you two are both so open and sharing, that should be easy." Mulder laughed with sheer pleasure as she nailed him with the Look. If Skinner wasn't good to her, he was going to smack him again. "He's out in the hall. I'll get him."

Skinner wasn't there, however. He had slipped away, after strong-arming Scully's condition out of the doctor and contacting her mother with the good news.

-- --

(Author's warning. This part is rated NC-17)

Scully let herself into her apartment. It was very late, after 11:00 p.m., but it felt as if it had been years since she left that morning.

Mulder had left when her family had arrived. Her doctor had finally dismissed her mother, Father McCue, and Bill (Thank God) from her room so she could rest. Scully had lain in her bed for awhile, but couldn't fall asleep. Finally, unable to bear the sights and sound of the hospital and the clamorous thoughts in her mind, she had dressed, covering her bloodied blouse with her jacket and quietly left the hospital. A note on her nightstand explained her actions, preventing anyone from thinking a kidnapping had occurred.

Scully changed into her sweats and dropped onto her couch, luxuriating in the fact that she was at home and alive. Only one problem intruded on her well-being.

Skinner had not come back. She had hoped he might re-appear after her family had left, but there had been no sign of him. Scully both wanted and feared to see him. She realized she had absolutely no idea what to say. She thought she loved him, thought he loved her, but how could she be sure, barriered as they both were? How would they ever reach each other? They had never even called each other by their first name.

She had fallen into a light doze on her couch and was awakened by a pounding on her door. Scully automatically glanced at her watch as she stumbled to her door: 1:00 a.m.

She peered through the peephole and saw Skinner glaring back at her. Heart pounding impossibly hard, she opened the door.

He brushed past then wheeled to face her, hands on his hips. "What the hell are you doing out of the hospital!?"

"I couldn't stay." Numbly, she closed the door. Of all his reactions, she had not anticipated anger. She looked back at him. Skinner was still wearing his white work shirt and grey dress pants, but he had lost his jacket and tie. Apparently, he had not gone home. She wondered vaguely where he had been all this time.

"I went to the hospital to see how you were and found your *note*," he dropped it contemptuously on a nearby table. "You were being kept under observation for a reason, Agent Scully."

She laughed mirthlessly, crossing to drop onto her couch. "Haven't you heard? I've been miraculously cured."

His gaze softened slightly as he looked down at her, but she didn't see it. "I heard. I'm glad you're well now."

An awkward silence fell, the knowledge of what each had done for the other rendering them speechless. Finally, Skinner said, "Mulder told you about the tape, didn't he?"

Scully nodded, unable to look at him. She heard him sigh.

"I should have known he couldn't keep his mouth shut. Look, Scully.... Scully look at me."

She raised her head. Skinner was regarding her coolly. She had hoped there would be a difference between them, but Skinner acted as if they were still at work. She might as well have been sitting in his office.

"You don't have to worry about anything that was on the tape," he said slowly and carefully. "Things will go on as they were. There won't be a change."

Unbidden, tears filled her eyes and she dropped her gaze to conceal them. So, it hadn't been true after all.

Skinner must have seen something in her face because he crossed to stand directly in front of her. Scully felt his fingers lifting her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. She tried to pull away, but he held her firmly. "Scully?"

"I'm sorry. It's stress. So much has happened."

He ignored her trailing words, watching her carefully. "What is it?"

She couldn't lie. "I thought it was true."

He froze for a long moment, searching her eyes. "It was." She stared at him speechless. Skinner slowly knelt down to crouch before her. "I didn't want you to feel you owed me anything. You don't do you? This isn't gratitude? And you don't feel sorry for me?"

"No." She shook her head. "None of those things." Timidly, she bent her head to brush her lips across the fingers that held her chin. Skinner let out an explosive breath and brought his mouth to hers.

The kiss was tentative but deepened as they grew used to the feel of each other. Scully gripped his shoulders and felt Skinner's arms close around her waist. She slid forward to the edge of the couch, so that he knelt between her knees.

His mouth moved to her neck, teeth nipping at her throat, and she cried out, clutching his head to her. Skinner sat back on his heels, pulling her forward and off the couch so that she straddled his thighs. He slid one arm under her bottom and lifted her so that he could continue to worry her throat.

He carefully lowered her to the floor, and leaned down over her. "Sc-Dana. Are you sure? I don't want to take advantage."

In answer, she wound her hands in his white shirt and pulled herself up, pushing her tongue deep inside his mouth. Without breaking the kiss, Skinner rolled them both, so she was on top, and slid his hands under her shirt.

Scully sat up and pulled her shirt off. Skinner cupped her breasts, teasing her through her bra before he reached around to unhook it and push it away. She arched into his touch even as she reached for his shirt buttons.

When his shirt was undone, Skinner pulled her back down on top of him. Scully wriggled against him, savoring the feeling of his chest muscles and hair against her sensitized breasts. He pulled her up his body, and then his mouth was kissing and licking her nipples while she hung over him.

She wriggled her hips against him and he flipped them both again, sitting back to pull down her sweatpants and underwear. He moved over her on all fours as Scully reached for his belt and zipper. She fumbled as Skinner started to trace patterns in the hair on her mound, bracing his weight on one hand.

"You're making this difficult," she muttered.

"Is this better?" Scully gasped as his fingers slid lower, brushing her clitoris before penetrating her slightly.

"No. That's not helping either." She finally got his pants undone and pushed everything down over his hips, closing her fingers around his his hard erection and running her thumb across the thick head.

Skinner gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, letting her stroke him until he couldn't stand it anymore. He kicked his pants the rest of the way off and lowered his body to hers.

He started to kiss his way down her body, but Scully caught him by the shoulders, pulling him toward her. At his questioning look, she said, "Come here. Come here, right now."

Unable to keep control at her demand, Skinner thrust deeply into her. Their mouths joined as well, the thrust of their tongues mimicing that of their hips.

They rocked against each other, orgasms building fast, fueled by their long denial. Scully let go first, clenching and realeasing Skinner's hard cock while she cried out against his mouth. One final thrust and Skinner came as well, pulling her so tightly against him Scully could feel the shudders run through her body.

-- --

Sitting in the parking lot outside Scully's building, Mulder's mouth twitched as he watched the light in her living room go off. A moment later, the one in the bedroom went on.

"Looks like they worked it out," he commented to no one in particular.

He checked his watch. The Gunmen would still be awake. He drove off in direction of their headquarters, refusing to even entertain the thought of borrowing their long-range infrared binoculars.

-- --

The End.