By Christine Leigh
leighchristine@hotmail.com
DISCLAIMER: All characters are the products of
Chris Carter. They also belong to Ten-Thirteen
Productions and the Fox Network. No copyright
infringement intended.
RATING: PG
CATEGORY: V, A
SPOILERS: William.
SUMMARY: The events of a day one year after
William was given up for adoption.
Hope, Maybe
By Christine Leigh
They are next. Mulder takes Scully's hand and
squeezes it, and when he starts to let go, she
doesn't let him. He feels her apprehension,
but then catches her eye and gives her a small
smile. He wants to do this. It's logical and
it's right, and yet, still, they are both
feeling somewhat strange at this point in
their lives in taking this step. They'd been
together in one way or another for so many
years, and neither, if they were to be honest,
for most of that time had ever felt this step
necessary. Of course, things change, and
inevitably so when a child enters the picture,
so now they're here. It's simple really, and
yet it's scary. A funny word to use in light
of the events of the last few years, but there
it is. It's scary. He loves her to death,
though, and that's all that matters. This is
the right thing to do.
Scully knows it's odd to be here today, but
she's glad that they are, if also slightly
nervous. She looks down at the nosegay that
Mulder had surprised her with before they had
left to come here. It is made of lavender-
colored roses and forget-me-nots and seeing it
had moved her to tears, actually. It was so
him to do something like that. So very him.
He'd wanted to give her something he'd said,
when handing her the box. She'd told him that
he'd given her everything she could possibly
want, but then had cried upon seeing the
pretty little bouquet. She loves him like
crazy. That's right. Like crazy. They rise
and enter the judge's chamber.
Ten minutes later, and it's a done deal.
There was nothing fancy about the ceremony,
just the simple exchanging of words and bands.
Scully wishes she could tell her mother. She
would be so happy, and yes, relieved. Mulder,
too, wishes that his parents were alive and
able to know that he'd surmounted the horrific
details of his past to arrive at this place in
life with this woman next to him. He wants to
believe that they would be happy for him. He
whispers in Scully's ear as they walk along
the corridor to the building's exit about the
best part of the day, which is yet to come.
She smiles and even blushes a little, and
anyone seeing them would never guess that the
honeymoon had been underway a good three years
already. What a pair they are.
*****
They lay in each other's arms in the dark of
the bedroom, their bodies and minds exhausted.
If it wasn't for one thing, Scully thinks she
probably could sleep for the next two days.
Mulder has been fading in and out for a few
minutes, and his eyes are closed right now.
But she needs to mark this moment on this day.
She isn't sure what she will do, though, and
so remains motionless in the arms that have
carried her for so long.
One year ago her heart had shattered and today
was a step toward rebuilding it. They don't
yet know how they will get William back, but
they will. They have to keep believing that;
there aren't any other options. So, today
they had made a down payment on the hope they
required to keep on believing. They'd been
perfectly honest with each other on all
matters pertaining to today, and both had
acknowledged that if not for the little boy,
who, each day he was gone took up a bigger
space in their hearts, they probably would not
have chosen to marry. But now that they have,
and even without anyone to tell, or to toss a
bouquet or garter to, they are behaving quite
conventionally, and have dared to be happy in
the face of their impossible lives. Most
important of all, though, they are one step
closer in readying themselves for the life
they will one day share with their son. They
rarely talk about him, but they think about
him always.
It had been a warmish day, but the night will
be cool, and Scully gets up and crosses to the
window, opening it wide. There is a breeze,
and she wants to feel it. She closes her eyes
and just stands there feeling and listening to
the night. She is naked and the air on her
skin feels wonderful. The sound of Mulder's
soft breathing mingles with the other
sensations that are washing over her, and soon
she is going inside herself. She needs to
hear her little boy tonight and believes that
she will if she just tries hard enough. It
takes a few minutes, but then he's there, and
laughing his sweet, special William laugh, and
trying to sing, or at least that's what she
thinks it is. Yes, that's it. They'd only
just started to do that together, mostly in
the car, right before. She should cry, but
that isn't happening, so she just listens.
He's still laughing, but it's softer now.
Another minute and she won't hear him anymore,
but how wonderful it is while it lasts. She
thinks that perhaps next year she will hold
him in her arms.
He is gone now.
Scully then opens her eyes and her gaze
wanders to her flowers that are sitting on the
dresser. She'd meant to put them in water
when they'd returned home, but had been
otherwise consumed. She removes a sprig of
forget-me-nots from the nosegay and carefully
pulls its tiny blossoms apart. She then drops
them on to her upturned palm, extending it out
the window and watches the little blue flowers
blow away on the breeze.
She is being dangerously sentimental tonight,
she knows, but there is nothing to be done but
to go with it. Wherever he is, she believes
that William knows they haven't forgotten him.
Tomorrow and the next day, and the next, it
may be very difficult to believe this, but she
will hang on. And when she can't, she will go
to Mulder. The only thing that could possibly
make any of this worse would be to go through
it without him. She isn't sure that she would
have survived alone. She goes to the bed and
kneels by her husband who is now in a deep
slumber. His brow, so often furrowed by day
is smooth as glass, and she brushes a finger
across it.
Hope, maybe. Love, certainly.
- end -
leighchristine@hotmail.com