How Long 'Til My Soul Gets It Right
by. Paul Wartenberg
From z004799b@bcfreenet.seflin.lib.fl.us
Date: Sat Nov 09 14:03:15 1996
COPYRIGHT: Given the fact that the "X-Files" belongs to Chris Carter and
Co. and that the Fox Network is aggressively protecting their copyright,
I'm probably in trouble anyway...I'm also in trouble with the Indigo
Girls, since one of their songs published by Virgin Songs (1992) is
quoted here and proved inspirational to the story...but I'm poor, so don't
sue me.
How Long 'Til My Soul Gets It Right
by. Paul Wartenberg
SUMMARY: Following "The Field Where I Died," Scully confronts Mulder
about reincarnation, finding out what's been going on all these years...
Kelsy, I STILL haven't figured out your classification system...sorry...
"Then you had to bring up reincarnation
Over a couple of beers the other night
And now I'm serving time for mistakes made
By another in another lifetime..."
--"Galileo" Indigo Girls (1992)
~~~
How Long 'Til My Soul Gets It Right
by. Paul Wartenberg
Alexandria, VA
Three days after
1:15 am
The cel phone rang only once since Mulder moved quickly to answer
it. The phone was sitting just a few feet away on the coffee table near
his futon, where he sat watching the latest infomercial. He had trouble
these past few nights getting his rest. "Yeah, Scully, I'm up."
There was a pause on the other end of the line. Scully wondered
sometimes how Mulder would know it was her calling, but she realized now
that she was the only one who would call him in moments like this. "I
hope I'm not interrupting anything..."
"No, go ahead, talk."
She rolled in her bed, relaxing on her back. "I was just
wondering about those things you said when you were under hypnosis last
week..."
"Yeah." He glanced at a torn photo sitting on his coffee table.
"I know what you mean."
"Well, you mentioned that CancerMan made an appearance as a
Gestapo officer, right?"
Mulder nodded. "Sure. I remember the session."
"But when was your father born?"
Mulder scowled, puzzled, but rattled off the year.
"And considering that your father and CancerMan were once
associates..."
"Please, Scully..."
"It's most likely CancerMan was born just before World War II like
your father was, before Hitler and his henchmen even built the
concentration camps."
Mulder took a second to consider Scully's theory. "Oh, hell..."
He finally moaned.
"I'm sorry, Mulder." Scully's voice echoed genuine concern. "It's
my guess that your hypnotic trance allowed your mind to believe some kind
of fantasy wish fulfillment, where your enemies are associated with
overwhelming images of evil..."
"Scully, you know me better than to lie like that..."
"I'm not accusing you of confabulation! I just think that being
under hypnosis opened your mind to its own suggestive power."
"And Melissa?"
Scully paused. "Her testimony about your past lives only pointed
out that one time..."
"And you were the one who found our photos."
She sighed. "It's possible their names came up during some
historical series on television, or in a textbook somewhere..."
Mulder almostt chuckled at his end of the line. "You know
perfectly well that those names were too obscure. There's no way I could
have confabulated over that."
Scully took a moment to figure out another means of winning this
argument, then shook her head. "Okay, Mulder, you got me on that one..."
"So you think reincarnation is possible?..."
"Well, it's never really been promoted all those years I went to
Sunday school..."
"Scully," Mulder paused briefly. "If you accepted reincarnation,
what would you want to come back as?"
She smiled, resting her head on the thicker of her two pillows.
"I'd hope not to come back, that maybe I'd have achieved nirvana..."
Mulder kept silent.
"Alright, then. I'd like to return as a football quarterback."
"Yeah, but for which team?"
Scully justed laughed, letting the question go.
"What lives do you think you might have had?"
"Mulder..."
"I'm serious. I'd like to know."
Scully took a moment.
"You know, Scully, before we ever met Melissa, I recollect having
dreams about fighting in a battlefield, of soundless explosions tearing
through a sea of corn or wheat..."
"So by that reckoning, any dreams I have can be portents of
another past?"
"Exactly."
"Mulder, I doubt my dreams involving Harrison Ford or Mel Gibson
have nothing to do with the past..."
"Unless you were Amish or board the HMS Bounty..."
"Mulder..."
"Scully..."
"Why is it so important for you to know if I had past lives?"
Mulder shrugged, the phone rubbing between his shoulder and ear.
"Because you were there, too..."
"Mulder, your belief in past lives doesn't necessarily make it
real," she sighed. "That could have been wish fulfillment, too..."
"Why you, why not Phoebe?"
"For one thing, how you felt about her would have made her Hitler
in your past life," Scully smirked. "For another thing, you put people
there that you wanted, me as a fellow soldier, Samantha as someone you
needed to protect..."
"Where would Frohike fit, then?..."
"He's probably switching places with Queequeg every other life as
a pet dog..."
"Good for Frohike. He likes wearing leashes..." Mulder chuckled
a little. "But as you said, you and I were always there..."
"Which makes, made me a sergeant." Scully corrected herself.
"Just what was your rank when you were Biddle?"
"Um, I can't remember..."
"I can only hope it was private," she smirked. "Might explain
why I'm so good at ordering you around..."
"Scully..."
"Mulder..."
"I think it's important to hope, to believe in something like
this..."
"Why?" Her question was serious.
"Because of all the things that have happened to me this life,"
Mulder whispered. "All the pain I've felt, all the suffering I've seen
in so many other lives."
Scully stayed silent.
"I mean, considering the weirdness and violence we've been through,
that somehow I'm being made to repay some karmic debt for the sins of
another lifetime..."
"Mulder, I don't see how blaming all your misfortunes on someone
who's been dead for years..."
"Not that. I mean in a good way, that I'm, that we're working to
pay off that debt, to rebalance the universe against all the darkness
we've confronted..."
Scully arched an eyebrow. "So you think reincarnation is some
way of God giving us the chance to correct our mistakes?"
"It's possible." Mulder paused, thinking it through. "The
chance every lifetime to correct the errors you made before, seeking
redemption for each mistake, every bad judgment that passed before..."
"Mulder, I..." Scully rubbed her hand against her forehead. "We
all make mistakes. It's important to recognize them as such when you are
alive, to correct them if you can, but still you have to live with our
consequences. I'd hate to think I'm living a life over because of one
mistake like choosing to walk one path when I should have chosen
another..."
"But given the severity of some mistakes, like a missed opportunity
to know someone, to change a life somehow. Perhaps, if I had met Melissa
sooner, she might have survived, might have become my soulmate in this
time, might have..."
"Mulder," Scully suddenly snarled. "Look, if you and Melissa were
meant to be soulmates forever then why did you only know her for one day
this time around?"
There was a long pause over the phone. "Maybe I missed my chance
this time around..."
Scully wanted to throw her phone against the wall, but forced
herself to calm down. "Mulder, just...what do you think your chance was?"
"To get it done right in the end."
"But how do you know what that is?"
Mulder glanced about his darkened apartment. "I...I'm not sure."
She sighed. "Okay, then. Maybe if you get some sleep you can
figure it out in the morning."
"Okay."
"Good night, Mulder." She placed the phone back in its cradle,
wondering if Mulder would ever get a good night's rest. She rolled back
into the middle of her bed, pulling the sheets over her, letting the
warmth lull her to sleep...
There was a knock on the door. Scully ignored it at first, hoping
it was a case of a wrong address. When it continued, her interest and
fear intensified.
Grabbing her gun, she moved as quietly as possible through the
darkness, until she reached the door and peeked through the peephole.
When she saw who it was she groaned and turned on the nearest lamp. She
swung the door wide open, letting her partner stand against the doorway.
"Mulder?" Scully rubbed her eyes. "What's wrong?"
"I figured it out."
"What? It better not be a crossword puzzle..."
"I figured out what I've been doing wrong all this time."
Scully blinked.
"The fact that you've been there all the time, but that Melissa
wasn't here this lifetime..."
"You've figured that the whole thing's a dream..."
"No." Mulder stepped forward cautiously, placing a hand gently on
Scully's cheek. "I figured that she wasn't part of my soul. That you
were part of me all this time, that all I needed to do was figure that
out. That you and I were meant for each other."
Scully's eyes opened in shock, but said nothing, letting her mouth
drop slightly.
Mulder took that as a sign to kiss her, which he did, tenatively,
tasting her lips along his, feeling her respond quickly to his mouth by
pressing hard passionately. The gun slipped from her hands as she reached
up to feel Mulder's skin ripple under her fingers.
After a minute, they pulled apart, flushed from both the
passionate moment and from the sudden realization that their partnership
had moved to a new level. "Um, Mulder, or Fox..."
"Yeah, Dana?..." Mulder's smile sealed it.
"Is this because you believe in reincarnation, or because you feel
this is the right choice to make?"
"If I believe in reincarnation, it's because you've always been
there. Even if I don't believe in it, this feels like the right thing to
do." He ran his hands along her arms, looking deep into her eyes.
"Either way, I need to know if you believe this is right..."
Scully bit her lower lip, finding it hard to breathe. "Yes..."
she finally gasped.
She dragged her partner, now her lover, into the room. They
kissed again, but Scully suddenly pulled away, worried by another thought.
"Fox...you better be right about this, after all I was your
sergeant in the Civil War..."
"That's okay," Mulder whispered, leaning in for another kiss. "It
might have been one of those `Don't Ask Don't Tell' situations..."
New Annapolis, Mars
100 years later
It had been years since two obscure FBI agents had sacrificed
their lives to save humanity from a dark conspiracy, allowing survivors
from that violent epoch a chance to spread out to other worlds. Even
though the conspiracy's destruction sealed away many secrets relating to
extraterrestrial life, many clues on the new worlds pointed to even
darker secrets...
"Excuse me?" A knock on the door signaled the arrival of someone
to Buff `Buffalo' Persail's office. "My name is Sarah Nadair..."
"Nobody here but NASA's Most Unwanted," he grinned, watching as
a beautiful brunette woman skipped into the basement of NASA's
Xenobiology/Science Dome. He stratched his head, flicking around his
unkepmt red hair, wondering where he saw his new partner before...
THE END.
--
Paul Wartenberg-------------------- | -----All Done.--------
z004799b@bcfreenet.seflin.lib.fl.us | -----Bye-Bye.---------
village6@icanect.net--------------- | ----------------------
-----Jeremiah Smith Lives---------- | -----X-FILES----------
-----Freedom is in the mind and the spirit------------------
-----The body still must break the chains ------------------