MindBodySoul.html

Mind, Body & Soul

By Foxhunt2blue
foxhunter2blue@yahoo.com

SUMMARY: Scully had always had faith in her
beliefs...in her God, even when she had doubts.
He had faith in his own beliefs as well, but maybe
his disbelief in her God had led to his downfall.
RATING: NC-17 for references to rape/language
DISCLAIMER: Never have...wish I did! :(
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have to give credit where
credit is do here. To Michele, the Goddess
for the constant feedback on all my stories I
cherish every word. To Lisby (Group Mom &
Writer extraordinnare) who made a comment
about Mulder's lack of clothing in "The Truth". It
just set my gears turning. I can never hope to
write as good as you, but I damn well will try my
best!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mind, Body & Soul
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=====================
Roswell, New Mexico
May 2002
=====================

Silence.

Just the sound of her breath was enough to
drive the damnable silence away. The storm
had passed and with it the blanket of comfort
he had wrapped himself in since escaping his
own private hell.

If she had wondered why he had kept his
distance, she had never inquired. If she had
wondered why he had declined to take the
first shower in that lonely room, despite the
fact he hadn't enjoyed one since he had
fled with her, she had never asked.

Sometimes she could be selfish.

Slipping from her relaxed grip, he crept from
the bed, hoping his escape would go unnoticed.

How long he stood there before he finally turned
from her sleeping form he was unsure. All that
he could think of was the sound of her breath
overshadowing the sound of their voices.

His torturers.

Tears burned at the back of his eyes, threatening
to spill. A sharp pain ripped through his temples
as he pressed his hands against his ears.

The sound of the baton connecting with the
cinder block wall above his head.

Backing away from the bed he tried to push the
sharp sound of the bastard's words from his
mind.

It was over.

They were gone.

Legs trembling he moved into the bathroom as
he fought the scream that was swelling in his
throat, cutting off his air. The door shut behind
him with a soft thump causing a minuscule prayer
to slip from his parched lips.

What a joke.

Scully had always had faith in her beliefs...in her
God, even when she had doubts. He had faith in
his own beliefs as well, but maybe his disbelief
in her God had led to his downfall.

"Don't let her see...don't let her know," he
whispered to the shadowed walls.

They had gotten what they wanted...right?

Those phantom faces that he had sought most
of his adult life. Dark clad men lurking in the
shadows, embraced in tendrils of ashy smoke.

Asking him questions he couldn't answer.

<I'm thinking about getting the hell out of here.>

Turning he caught a glimpse of a familiar face
in the dim room.

<...you can't do this alone...>

With a spasmodic jerk of his arm he pulled the
thin cord that dangled from the bathroom light.

<...alone...>

He could have sworn he could smell smoke.

Breathing deeply he tried to calm himself as he
scrubbed at wet eyes with shaking palms. A
shower would help, he thought, as he reached
behind the moldering plastic curtain.

As steam began to rise he slowly began to
undress, finally feeling the pain of the last few
weeks as it seeped from beneath his control. A
spasm rippled up his spine as he leaned forward
tugging the thin cotton t-shirt over his head, his
pulse speeding up.

Against the pale sheath of his skin the bruises
blossomed in a garden of purple, black, green
and yellow. The son-of-bitches made sure that
the marks were where no one could see them
unless he was naked, he thought, as he let
the shirt drop to the floor.

Reaching down he grasp his fly and began to
unbutton his jeans, letting them slide over too
narrow hips. The denim pooled around his
ankles as he shivered, thoughts drifting to the
silence...the darkness.

Tears trickled from beneath his clenched lids,
staining his pale cheeks as he fought with the
demons that flitted through his skull.

It hadn't broken him.

I won't let them win.

He ran a trembling palm over his stomach where
the shadows of the first blow still lingered. They
had tried to take everything from him.

There had never been a moment when he thought
they would go as far as they did.

Sliding the cotton boxers over his hips he let them
fall down his legs with a shudder. Eyes still clenched
he kicked off his sneakers, stepping out of the pool
of material at his feet.

He didn't want to see what he knew was there.

Stepping beneath the warm flow of the shower, he
whimpered as it pounded against the bruises, the
abraded skin.

Head bowed beneath the roar of the hot spray, brow
resting against the slick, cracked tile, he tried to
block out the things they had done.

They had been careful...precise in their every move
as they slowly took everything. His mind had retreated
as it had many times before, but they tore him back
to reality with a beating that had been worse than any
he had ever suffered.

Memories began to surface.

Memories he wanted to vanish, but no matter how
hard he tried they wouldn't.

A tortured sob ripped from his throat as he turned
his back to the wall, sliding to the bottom of the
tub. Leaning forward he rested his face on drawn up
knees, the dull throb in his pelvis keeping time with
each choked whimper.

=======================
USMC Base Brig
Quantico, Virginia
Three Weeks Earlier
=======================

Cold.

So fucking cold, he thought.

First they had taken his ability to sleep, but that wasn't
that big of a deal. He had never really slept that well
to begin with.

Shifting on his side he swallowed hard as the concrete
floor scrape across one bare hip. A shiver moved down
the length of his body as he tried to understand what
they wanted.

Then they had taken away his food.

He had no appetite to speak of though. Scully had
harped on him often enough about his lack of said
appetite.

Then his water.

He swallowed hard feeling the dryness along his
tongue as he licked his lips. Almost four days without
water, then they had returned, the stone faced soldier
and his buddies.

More yelling.

More beatings.

Yet, still he refused to give in to their demands.

That's when the game had changed.

Two of the soldiers had held him down while the third
had used his blade to slice away his clothes. He had
screamed, cursed and bucked beneath them as he was
slowly stripped of his last link with the real world. After
the last of his clothing had been disposed of the head
asshole had his flunkies flip Mulder over.

"So Mr. Tough Guy...what are you thinking now?"

All he had done was stare defiantly into the fucker's eyes
then spit in his face.

He had expected the bastard to knock him for a loop,
but instead he had just grinned. Pearly white teeth
glistening in the dim light that had washed in through
the open door he leaned in close whispering in his
ear.

"You think your fucked now boy? You don't know
what fucked is."

Then he had felt the soldier's hand between his legs,
squeezing his balls roughly. Grunting he struggled
against the pinning hands, trying not to gasp as the
bastard twisted.

When the sob erupted from his throat they began
laughing. Their laughter made him angry, he didn't
deserve this crap...he hadn't killed anyone. He opened
his eyes, overflowing with tears, only to see their
backs retreating.

Thank God they hadn't done what he thought they
were going to do.

Sliding shut the door left a resounding echo in the
darkness, soon to be followed by the silence. They
had hoped to humiliate him, to tear away his last
vestige of hope.

They hadn't.

He had refused to give them what they wanted.

That's when they had come back.

There had been hands, so many hands tearing at
his flailing limbs.

=======================
Roswell, New Mexico
4 a.m.
=======================

"Mulder?"

Glancing up he realized that the water pounding against
his skin was ice cold. A shiver worked it's way through
his body as he struggled to his feet.

"Ye..eah Sc..cully?"

"Are you all right?" her voice seemed miles away through
the heavy wooden door.

"Yeah."

"Why do you have the door locked? I have to use the toilet."

Selfish, he thought, just pure selfish self-centeredness.

"Just a minute!"

Struggling with the knob of the shower he stepped from beneath
the waters icy onslaught just as it turned to a trickle. A soft moan
escaped him when he realized he hadn't brought clean clothing
with him, all he had wanted was to get clean.

Fingers tightening, he retrieved the jeans from the floor, untangling
the white cotton boxers. Without really seeing the stained cotton
he waded it into a tight ball, then dropped them into the waste
basket next to the sink. Quickly he pulled the dusty denim up
being extra careful as he slid it over tender skin thankful they
were slightly lose.

"MULDER! I'm going to pee in my pants!"

A sharp tug and the tee shirt was over his still dripping wet head
as he popped the bathroom lock. Scully was through the door
before he had a chance to reply.

"Some privacy please?" she rolled her eyes at him as he grabbed
a towel to dry his hair with.

Retreating to the still dark bedroom, he pushed the bathroom door
shut. The darkness was gentle sometimes, almost protective as the
memories rose in the form of a shadow.

"They'll stop at nothing Mulder."

Jerking back he watched as Krycek stepped from the shadows.

"...you..your dead..." he moaned scrambling onto the bed.

"Yep," a tiny smile played at the corner of his mouth, "...same as
I was a year ago and same as I was three weeks ago."

"Your not real...not real...not real," Mulder clenched his eyes
tight as the phantom settled onto the mattress next to him.

Rolling over he pulled his knees to his chest, curling into a fetal
position. This was all a bad dream...or maybe it was hell? Maybe
that soldier had tossed him over the railing and it was his body
jerking with each ninety-thousand volt.

A gentle caress of fingers circling at his temple.

Scully had returned.

"I'm just as real as you...brother."

At the sound of Krycek's voice he yelped, scooting across the
bed. His heart was slamming into his ribcage trying to escape
with each wild beat.

"Stop calling me that," he hissed between clenched teeth.

"Calling you what?"

Lifting wide eyes he saw Scully looming over him.

"...nothing just a bad dream," he whispered over parched lips.

*Tell her*

A faint whisper.

"Go to sleep Mulder...okay?"

Closing his eyes he tried to put the voice from his thoughts as
the storm reared it's ugly head again. Beyond the curtained
window the sound of rain began once more.

=====================
USMC Base Brig
Quantico, Virginia
=====================

Contact.

The billy club came down across his already bruised spine
as he was forced to his knees. Behind him the harshness
of the flood light caused eerie shadows to jump across the
cinder block walls of his cell.

Rough hands twisted his arms up behind his back, his weight
coming to rest on his shoulders, the cold concrete floor scraping
at the bristled skin of his jaw.

There were no words as cool metal tightened around his wrists,
as angry hands yanked his hips up. One silent soldier straddling
his back, knees digging into his already aching ribs, as he was held
in place, his knees kicked apart.

He had hoped...prayed.

There is no God, he thought, as he felt the first hint of pressure.

"You will break boy! You will tell me what you were thinking!"

It became harder as he clenched his muscles grunting. If he could
just slip away, he wouldn't have to know what they were doing,
what they would continue to do.

It was fire.

Burning him, tearing his insides out.

When he opened his mouth to scream a rag was stuffed half
way down his throat, choking him.

"What were you thinking?!"

Sparks exploded behind his clenched eyes as he felt that cold
hardness penetrating him. Violating him as he had never been
violated before, destroying him.

He deserved this, he thought as he bucked against the restraining
lock of the soldiers knees. The pain continued until it felt as if
he were splitting in half, then the penetration ceased.

The soldier knelt next to his head.

"Are you ready to tell me?" his voice a harsh whisper.

Shaking his head he screamed as the object of his rape was
wrenched from his body, only to impale him again seconds
later. Sparks exploded behind his eyelids as tears of agony
finally over flowed, soaking into the rag that silenced his
screams.

=================
Roswell, New Mexico
6:15 a.m.
=================

"Mulder! Wake up Mulder!"

He could feel her arms tightening around him, pinning his
arms as he fought against the vestiges of his nightmare. it
had been all for nothing, he panted as he felt her arms
tighten a little more.

"LET ME GO!!!!!" he wailed.

"It's me Mulder! It's Scully!"

"I know!" he screamed, rolling off the mattress.

Hitting the floor, he scuttled across the carpet finally
settling against the wall just beneath the window.

When silence finally settled over the room he dared to
glance up. Scully was setting in the middle of the bed,
lower lip caught between her teeth, tears glimmering
at the edge of her lashes.

"What did they do to you?" her question was a harsh
whisper.

All he could do was shake his head, deny her question,
as he swiped at his own tears. He couldn't let her know
what had happened.

"What was it for...what?" he whimpered, head lowering
to rest on his trembling knees.

"I'm sorry Mulder...so sorry."

Choking back another breath he looked up just as her
fingers caressed his shoulder. He flinched ashamed
of the pain he brought to her eyes, but he didn't want
to taint her.

"...no...don't..."

"Mulder please...," she whispered as he pulled away.

Before she could say another word he was on his feet
and out the door. Her cries fading as he began to run,
fading against the storm that reflected the pain inside
him.

===============
USMC Base Brig
Quantico, Virginia
===============

All he wanted was to sleep, but the pain wouldn't
let him do more than drift for a few seconds.

Swallowing back the bile in his throat, he tried
to set up. Sharp pain tore through his pelvis and
his lower back as he crumpled to the cold concrete
floor, tears swelling along his clenched lids.

Scully.

Oh, God don't let them win.

William...his son.

Can't let them win.

"Mulder."

He had looked up the tears slowly dripping down
his face. What he saw ripped his sanity from him.

"Krycek? How?"

"We've had this conversation before Mulder. Yes,
I am dead. You should know that better than anyone
since you let that bastard Skinner pull the trigger."

Krycek moved to where he lay, kneeling he brushed
his fingertips on Mulder's forehead stroking his chilled
skin. "We were all used...all of us."

Kicking out at the phantom in front of him Mulder
pulled himself across the floor, whimpering as the
concrete tore at his abused skin.

He wasn't real.

Not real.

"But I am Mulder. I'm as real as life itself."

=================
Roswell, New Mexico
7:00 am
=================

Running.

He was always running and it never mattered how
fast they always found him.

Collapsing into the red sludge of the stormy
New Mexico desert, he began to cry. He had denied
himself the tears when Skinner had told him that he
would never see his son again. He had denied them
when he discovered his only friends had sacrificed
themselves for a world that was doomed anyway, but
now they had caught up with him.

Maybe if he stayed here curled into a tight ball the
rain would eventually drown him.

"Agent Mulder."

He lifted his head, eyes squinting as he tried to pinpoint
the voice in the sheets of rain. A shadowy figure slipped
into his field of vision. The dark skinned man reached
down pulling him to his feet.

"No! NO!"

Mulder struggled against the man's grip finally losing his
footing in the thick mud. With a thud he landed on his back
a choked scream escaping his throat as pain shot through
his abused body.

"Your ignorance Mr. Mulder has made a joke of all our
deaths."

From the corner of his eye he could see more figures
closing in on him.

"You don't understand!" he screamed.

"Well, explain it Fox."

Turning his eyes fell on his father.

"Noooooo!" he howled as he curled into a tight ball, his
breath coming in thick gasping sobs.

Then the voices came.

Voices of the dead...the lost.

"Fox why didn't you talk to me? Why didn't you stop
me?"

His mother.

"Why did you let them take me Fox?"

His sister.

"I sacrificed my life to save you. Now you're giving up
on the quest."

Deepthroat.

"Daddy."

A tiny hand settled on his head, stroking his soaked hair
hesitantly. He lifted his tear swollen eyes to look into
a pair of wide blue eyes.

"...will...william..."

"Yes, Daddy."

A shock of dark chestnut hair fell over those wide blue
eyes, but this had to be a dream. William...his William
was barely a year old not twelve.

With a trembling hand he reached up to cup the small
wiry boy's cheek. Warm...soft, so fucking real, but
it couldn't be.

"I know what they did Daddy...I know, but I still need
you. I miss you so much and Mommy needs you too."

"...I...I can't...it's over...done..."

"It's not over. I promise you Daddy, it's only begun."

The boy knelt in the mud wrapping his warm, strong
arms around Mulder's shaking form. Not another
word was spoke as the storm closed in around him
the figures kneeling to form a circle around him, then
fading away.

=================
Roswell, New Mexico
10:15 PM
=================

Scully wandered through the door of the motel room,
every inch of her body aching. After they had fallen
asleep in each others arms the night before she had
thought it might be over.

The doubt.

The fear.

Nothing could have been further from the truth.

Flopping across the bed she wrapped her arms
tightly around the pillow he had slept on. She should
have known. She should have understood there was
more to it than just beatings.

As she drifted off to sleep the sound of the door
opening drew her back. Any other time she would
have drawn her gun, but she knew who this was
even before he spoke.

"They raped me."

She swallowed the sob that swelled in her throat.

There was a slight sway of the mattress as he
settled next to her. She could hear the faint hiccup
as he fought the tears, as he struggled to find the
words to say.

"...please...scully don't leave me..."

Behind her she could hear him begin to cry, soft
muffled sobs that tore at her heart. How could
he think she would ever leave him?

Without a word she sat up her eyes studying his
muddy tear streaked face. A tiny sad smile
flickered at the corner of her lips as she wrapped
her arms around him. She tightened her embrace
as he began to shake, her fingers weaving through
his filthy hair.

"How can you really think I would leave you because
of what they did to you? My God Mulder I just keep
thinking if I hadn't made you leave this wouldn't have
happened."

"Not your fault...I should have given them what
they wanted."

"And what exactly did they want Mulder? What
was so important that they would...," she choked
on the word unable to imagine what it must have
been like. She had failed him just as she had failed
William.

"My guilt...,"

"Your guilt? Jesus Mulder they broke you didn't they?
I thought you were fine...that we would be fine, but
everything I said last night was wasted...wasn't it?"

Scully began crying.

She was angry so fucking angry she could have
bitten nails in half. She had begged him to leave
so he would be safe and look where it had gotten
him.

"What else Mulder? What else did they do?"

All he could do was shiver as she pulled him
closer.

===============
USMC Base Brig
Quantico, Virginia
===============

They had left him lying there in his own filth for
what seemed an eternity. He was quite sure
they were watching from where it was safe, but
he continued to talk.

He lay curled in a tight ball against the far wall,
eyes locked on the man he knew couldn't be
there.

Alexander Krycek.

Assassin, double agent and thorn in his side
for more years than he could count.

"Did you kill him?"

Alex nodded.

"You father was a fool. One of the founding
members of the of the group. He knew what
the price was for being involved and still he
blamed you."

"But why kill him? Why take him from me?"

Tears stung his eyes as he tried to pull in
a breath.

"Nothing personal Mulder...it was my job."

The conversation came to an end when the
door slid open with a loud clang.

"So boy? You ready for round two or are you
going to tell me what I want?"

Before he could answer he was pulled to his
feet, then slammed into the wall. His breath
caught in his throat as his arms were forced
above his head, his legs kicked from beneath
him.

The first was the worst.

Leather came down across his shoulder blades,
a fiery slash of heat. A scream tore from his
throat as the strap came down again, this time
along his rib cage. Refusing to let out another
sound he bit into his lip until the taste of copper
seeped along his tongue.

"What were you thinking?!"

"...fu...fuck you...," he hissed between bloody
lips, "...fuc...you all...,"

After an eternity the beating stopped, but only
after he slipped into unconsciousness.

=================
Roswell, New Mexico
11:00 PM
=================

Fingers slick with perspiration Scully dialed
the main desk, hoping beyond reason that
there would be a delivery place somewhere.

After Mulder had told her what had happened
she was sure she would never get her appetite
back. The idea that they had held him down
beat him, then sodomized him with a nightstick
made her stomach flip.

What was worse was she had no idea what
to really say to him. All she could do is try to
understand how she would feel if she had been
the one violated.

"Front desk," came the nasally twang of the
elderly desk clerk, " ...what can I do for you?"

"Uh...yeah...could you tell me if there's any
restaurants that deliver this late." Her eyes
drifted to where Mulder sat in the corner as
the voice wavered on the other end. His
clothes crusted with reddish mud, bare foot
and face slick with tears, he looked all of
maybe ten.

"Big Jim's Deli down on main and Asteroid
Pizza does to miss. That would be the only
two I know of that might still be open."

"Thank you sir."

Moving back across the room she squatted
down in front of Mulder, the tears threatening
again. "Hey?" his head lifted from his knees,
eyes swollen. "I'm going to order some food
do you think you can eat something for me?"

Shaking his head he swallowed hard, then
sniffled. "Not hungry."

Rather than argue she stood with a sharp nod.

There was no point in fighting, besides she
felt guilty enough now after what little he had
confessed. Dialing information she decided
on the deli thinking they might have some
broth or something Mulder could stomach. She
knew he hadn't eaten anything in the last forty
eight hours and she wasn't about to let him
starve himself.

End Part I

====================
Roswell, New Mexico
Midnight
====================

Scully sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed
the restaurant delivery spread out on the wrinkled
bedding. She had ordered a turkey wrap for herself
and a simple grilled cheese for Mulder along with
a cup of beef vegetable soup. If nothing else he
would be able to stomach the broth. A six pack of
Diet Coke and one of Sprite sat on the nightstand,
the Sprite would be easy to stomach as well.

Lifting her eyes she glanced over at the corner
where Mulder sat seemingly asleep. With an
amused expression she popped the lid off the
styrofoam container of soup letting the scent
fill the room. If he didn't look up soon she would
know he was asleep for real.

He had to be hungry there was no doubt of that.

She gnawed her lip as she thought of how lose
his clothes were, hanging on his frame as if he
were made of sticks. From the corner of her eye
she could see him lift his head, sniffing the air.

"Are you hungry?" her voice, low and soft, seemed
to ease some of the fear in his eyes.

He shook his head no, but the look of fear had been
replaced with hunger.

"Okay."

Setting the container of soup on the night stand she
unwrapped her sandwich, digging in with gusto. It
was perfect. The turkey breast tender and moist, the
cucumber dressing seasoned just right.

After two bites she saw Mulder had moved to the foot
of the bed, his eyes flickering between her and the soup.

Nodding her head she smiled around the next bite of
sandwich as he scrambled for the soup. Once he had
taken his first sip she smiled once more in satisfaction,
then really tore into her food.

========================================

An hour later the remains of their meal, mainly crumpled
wrappers and crumbs, had been removed to the trash
can. The low hum of the air conditioner was the only
sound as they lay next to each other staring at the ceiling.

Propping herself up on one elbow she studied his face
with a practiced eye. So many years now and she knew
every crevice of those features as if they were her own.

In a way they were.

"Talk to me Mulder."

Her words hung in the air, a fine mist, a breath on a
cold December morning.

"What do you want me to say Scully?"

"I want to know what's going on behind those beautiful
eyes," she whispered, "I want you to feel something,
anything. I don't even care if you hate me. I just want
you to feel...," her words faded as he turned over.

His eyes had darkened until they were almost black,
she knew it was a sign he was angry, but she didn't
care.

"Is that it Scully? Do you want me to hate you?" his
voice was low, almost a growl.

"...no...no I don't," she bit into her lower lip as she felt
her throat tighten with tears.

"Are you sure?!" his voice raised as he sat up. "Because
I can do that Scully! I can hate you!"

"Mulder please...I just want to understand."

"Understand? UNDERSTAND?! HOW IN THE HELL
COULD YOU EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND?!!"

On his feet he began to pace the room with nervous
strides, his fists clenched at his sides.

"Mulder...," she could feel the moisture collecting in
the corners of her eyes.

"Don't Scully...just don't," he swallowed hard, pausing
at the window, trembling fingers spreading the slats
to let in the streetlight. "All I ever wanted was to make
you happy...to protect you and William. Maybe I was
a fool to believe...," his words faded.

"No!" it came out sharper than she had intended. "I
was the fool Mulder. Thinking I could just slip under
their radar if you weren't there. You were so much
stronger than me...you suffered more than me. I was
weak Mulder I pushed you away, then I sent William
away. I never thought of what it would do to you."

"I saw him...," his faint whisper pulled Scully from
her guilt riddled thoughts.

"Who?"

"William. He called out to me...out there...and he
saved me from the ghosts."

Suddenly Scully was more terrified than she had
been in her life. There was a soft madness in his
words.

Ghosts.

God, this was insane.

"The first one came to me right before I was
captured by the military. It was just a glimpse
though. It could have been a trick of the light."

He turned to her his eyes glittering with shame
and unshed tears. "He came to me after the
first time...the first time they," he choked for a
split second, "...they raped me."

"Mulder...you don't...," she whispered as her
arms encircled his heaving chest.

"I do...Scully I do have to do this or I'll never
be able to move on...to forgive you for pushing
me away...for giving my son away."

Scully pulled back as if her skin had been burned
by his words. He hated her for what she had done,
but could she really blame him. She had sent him
away to protect him, yet look what had happened.

"I hate you so much right now Scully," his voice
was a dry rasp in the silence. "I know you did the
only thing you could, but I still hate you."

"Look at me Mulder...please just look at me."

"I can't."

"Damn you Mulder turn around and look me in
the eye! Tell me you hate me all you like, but
look me in the eye when you do!"

Slowly he turned lifting his tear streaked face
to her. "I hate you Scully," he whispered, "I
hate you for giving my son away without
trying to find me...I hate you for sending me
away when I should have been with you and
William."

Her heart began to crack like fine porcelain
as she saw the emotion in his eyes. He did
hate her and she deserved every ounce of it.

Mulder sank to his knees, "...I hate you for
giving up on us...," tears swelled over his
lashes as she settled in front of him on the
faded carpet, "...I hate you for not saving me."

=======================
USMC Base Brig
Quantico, Virginia
=======================

The cold was probably the worst, he thought,
as he tried to warm his abused body. Huddled
in the corner he could sense Krycek across
the room or at least he thought it was.

Rubbing his forearms as they crossed his
chest he tried to heat his skin with the feeble
friction. His pelvis throbbed with a dull aching
pain as he shifted from hip to hip trying to find
a comfortable spot. He could feel the stickiness
of half dried blood along the inside of his thighs
and along his spine.

He wasn't going to last much longer, he
concluded, as a chill rippled along his bruised
back. Deep shock would that be the correct
analysis Dr. Scully?

"Stupidity is more like it."

Lifting his face from where it rested on his knees
he met Frohike's beady little black eyes.

"Now I know I've lost it. At least Krycek is dead
so he could be an apparition. Now you...your just
a scary hallucination." Mulder began giggling at
the quizzical expression on the smaller man's
face.

"Don't be an ass Mulder," Frohike frowned.

"Strange that you mention that Frohike...that's
what I seem to be right now...just a piece of
ass."

Frohike shook his head, fingers poking from
worn leather to stroke his grizzled skin. "It's
not about sex Mulder if it were I'd be worried
about their taste."

Mulder snorted.

"Very funny Frohike you little bastard. You
can say that because your not the one they
have bent over with a night stick half way up
your ass...," the final word came out more
a sob than a word.

"It's control they're after Mulder. They want you
to admit you killed a man,"

"...but I didn't Frohike. That wasn't a man...it
was...it was one of those fucking spine necked
freaks."

"I know that. You know that. Then what is the
problem?"

Shaking his head in confusion he pulled his knees
closer to his chest, shivering.

"Tell them what they want to hear Mulder. Tell
them and then your pain will stop."

"No...I can't...I...,"

"Stop being such a stubborn bastard Mulder.
Just give in for once in your life." Krycek seemed
to melt from out of the shadows. "If you care
about anything in this life just tell them what they
want."

Sliding to the floor he whimpered as their
voices grew, then melded into one. The words
pounding against the frail shell of his skull until
a trickle of blood began to trail from his nose,
then over his mouth and down his chin.

====================
Roswell, New Mexico
3:00 AM
====================

Mulder jerked awake his eyes gummy with
dried tears, a pillow tucked beneath his
head and a thread bare blanket spread out
over him. He sat up his eyes scanning the
room for Scully. The bed had still not been
slept and the bathroom was dark.

Fighting the ache that permeated his very
bones, he struggled to his feet moving
to the door of the motel.

Outside, any sign of the storm from the
night before, had been evaporated by
the sun's heat. Carefully he walked
barefooted across the silent road, aware
of ever tiny stone. There had been a
time long ago when he had run barefoot
along the beach and the rocky back roads
of Quonochontaug as a young boy.

He smiled at the memory as he hit the fine
sand along the strip of dark asphalt. It was
as if she were calling to him, begging him
to find forgiveness in his heart. His smile
faded as his toes sank into the sand, as
he remembered how he had told her the
truth of his heart.

"Scully?" he cried out to the silence that
surrounded him. "I'm sorry...please I need
to tell you the truth...."

"And what truth would that be Mulder?"

His eyes drifted across the shadows of
the desert until they settled on her petite
form. She stood on a pinnacle of stone
that faced the rising moon, her back
turned to him even as she spoke.

"I'm sorry...I just can't...," he moved
over the stone, his hand reaching out,
hovering over her shoulder.

"Don't apologize for how you feel Mulder.
I deserve everything you let loose on me."
She pulled away, her voice thickening with
tears.

"I do need to apologize. I had every chance
to change my mind...I didn't have to go...I
could have stayed with you and William."
Mulder wrapped his arms around her, pulling
her closer, until her body was trembling against
him. "We can't stay here Scully...I can't stay in
this place. We have to leave."

She turned in his arms, her eyes lifting to meet
his, knowing whatever she found there would
be the answer to the question she was here
pondering. When he had fallen asleep crying
in her arms she had hoped there was a chance
he would forgive her for all her foolish choices.

Still she saw the haunting pain, but there was
a faint glint of hope.

"You're right. We can't stay here," she whispered
against his chest as she leaned into his warmth.

Mulder buried his face into the silky strands of
her hair, kissing the top of her head.

*They're coming Mulder*

Blinking he raised his head to see the silhouette
of three familiar figures.

*They will be here in three hours*

Nodding he pulled back from Scully, their eyes
meeting again as his friends faded away.

"They're coming Scully...they'll be here soon. We
have to go now."

"But...Mulder how?" Her eyes were as big as saucers
as he raced over the warm rock, dragging her behind
him. "How can you know that?"

"Three friends told me," he called over his shoulder
as they ran for the hotel.

The ghosts, she thought, the ghosts he claimed
to see. A shiver spread down her back as she glanced
back at the rock. She wasn't sure if she was more
afraid of Mulder or for him.

End Part 2

====================
Roswell, New Mexico
3:00 AM
====================

"Where are we going Mulder?"

Scully darted to the left as Mulder
began grabbing what few belongings
they had, unaware he had almost run
her over. Time seemed of the essence,
but she had questions that she needed
answered before she left this room.

"Dammit Mulder are you even listening
to me?"

Grabbing a discarded t-shirt Mulder
stuffed it into the army duffle sprawled
on the dresser.

"MULDER!"

At the sound of Scully's frustrated scream
he stopped dead in his tracks, shock sliding
across his eyes like a curtain.

"The guys told me we have to go. They said
they were coming. We have to go now."

Scully dropped to the bed shaking her head
as she tried to find the words to say what
she needed too. This was insane...crazy...there
were no such things as ghosts.

"Their dead Mulder," she whispered softly,
"...they're all dead. Every last one of them."

A flash of fury crossed his eyes darkening
them to charcoal. "Do you think I'm stupid?
Of course their dead!" he snapped turning
back to the duffle.

"Of course I don't think your stupid...I...I just
think maybe...,"

"What?!" he continued shoving items forcefully
into the bag. "That I'm insane? That I should be
locked in a padded room? Too late Dana! Been
there already." As if to punctuate his sentence
he yanked the zipper shut hard, only to cry out
when it closed over the skin of his thumb.

With a thud he landed on his ass, tripping over
his own feet. His thumb thrust in his mouth to
ease the sting.

"Mulder I'm sorry. It's just...ghosts?"

His eyes lifted from where he was inspecting
the damage to his thumb, the silence to thick
for but a split second.

"Why can't you...for just once...shut the fuck up
and listen to what I'm saying?! After everything
that we've seen...shit for that matter...have proved
and something as simple as ghosts has your
panties in a bunch?!" He stood grabbing the
duffle, then heading out the door.

She stood there flabbergasted.

After all this time why was she being hardheaded?

Taking off out the door she expected to see him
tossing the duffle in the trunk of the beat up
Cadillac they had driven into town. Instead he was
heading south along the roadside on foot.

"MULDER!" she screamed his name, but there
was no reaction. There was no way she was
going to be able to catch up with him, at least
not on foot.

Turning back to the hotel room she decided,
ghosts or no ghosts, he couldn't be left alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He had been walking for twenty minutes, hoping
she would come, but apparently he had really
fucked up this time. Flopping down on the sandy
shoulder, he pulled his knees up to his chest,
letting the tears finally fall.

What was wrong with him?

All he seemed to be able to do anymore was
cry. Maybe it had finally gotten to much to
bear?

The nightmares.

The guilt.

The disgust.

As sad as it was, it was true, he disgusted himself
more than anything else. Over the past few years
all he had been was an experiment and a shitty
one at that.

First the consortium, then the aliens and finally
the new ones. He wasn't sure what they were or
even if they were real or a product of his imagination.

Alien hybrids?

Super soldiers?

What did it matter in the final analysis? After
all he was just their bitch. A piece of meat to
cut open, probe, torture, beat...rape.

There was that word again.

What else was there left to do to him?

"Quit feeling sorry for yourself Mulder."

"Go fuck yourself Krycek," he whispered
without lifting his head.

"Now where is the fun in that? I've never
been one to turn my nose up at a beauty,
but then I was always open minded."

Mulder let out a loud sigh, trying to cover
up the teary sound of his voice.

"I bet Dana is a hot little piece. Bet that
got your motor running when you saw
her naked."

Suddenly he was on his feet, diving for the
man in front of him. Unfortunately Krycek
was no longer one of the living.

With a loud 'oomph' Mulder hit the blacktop,
passing straight through Krycek. From
behind him he heard a soft snicker.

"Bet you never thought you would know
what it was like being inside me? Of course
maybe you wanted me inside you?"

"...fuck you...Fuck you...FUCK YOU!!! Why can't
you just leave me alone?! What the fuck do
you want from me?!" he screamed laying
there with sand in his eyes, dirt in his mouth
and blood on his lips.

"Do you think I have a choice?"

At that Mulder rolled over on his back with a
soft moan. Above him the stars spread out,
diamond dust on midnight velvet. So beautiful,
he thought, yet so deadly in their lure.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he whispered
without even a glance towards the shadow.

"Sometimes Mulder even the darkest of souls
is given a second chance."

"A second chance to wha...," he stopped mid-word
realizing there was no one there.

Only the desert, the night wind and himself.

=======================
USMC Base Brig
Quantico, Virginia
=======================

"No sleeping!"

The sharp words, not to mention the bright
morning light, sent him burrowing his face
into the cold bare concrete. A boot joined his
wake-up call as the toe caught him just beneath
his already aching ribs, causing a raspy groan
to escape his lips.

Blinking he tried to focus through pupils dilated
to the point of blindness.

He was ask a question, but the words made no
sense. All he could do was nod, yet when that
wasn't enough he was force to answer with a
whispered yes.

"What are you thinking?!"

His thoughts drifted between the warm darkness
and the soldier's harsh voice. Such an angry man,
demanding something from him. He had no idea
what he needed to give though.

"What are you thinking?!"

"...I...I'm a guilty man," the words came out in a
raspy whisper, "I failed in every respect...I deserve
the harshest punishment for my crimes."

The soldier squatted down, staring, as Mulder
waited for the next blow. A blow that never came
to pass. Standing he left the cell only to return a few
moments later. Kneeling next to Mulder he smiled.

"Well, I'll be goddamned if you don't have some sense
after all. You seem to have friends too. Since you've
been such a good boy today we'll take good care of
you now."

Then he was gone as quickly as he had reappeared
leaving Mulder alone in the damp darkness. As the
door shut with a clang a shudder tore through his
abused body.

"You did the right thing."

Blinking against the tears that threatened his tired
eyes, he tried to focus on the shadow approaching
him. In the sliver of light from the barred window
high above in the wall he saw the one thing that he
had hoped not too. Of all the ghosts that haunted
him this was the one that hurt the most.

"I'm proud of you...son."

=======================
State Highway 380
20 Miles West
Roswell, New Mexico
4:15 AM
=======================

"Hey, sailor going my way?"

Shocked from dark memories he would rather forget,
he glanced up from his perch in the cool sand. Scully
was hanging from the driver side window. Despite
her flushed, tear stained, face she was the most
beautiful thing he had ever seen. When their eyes
met he saw the questioning worry in her expression.

God, he must be a sight.

His hair sweaty, standing on end, clothes covered
with grime and his lip split from the tumble into the
road.

"Had a fight with a ghost," he shrugged, a tiny smile
dancing at the corner of his swollen mouth.

Without a word she stepped from the car, sitting
next to him in the sand. Slipping her fingers along
his cheek, down to his chin she lifted his face.

"Let me see...," she whispered.

As she lifted a handkerchief he turned nuzzling her
palm. With a gentle touch she began to dab at the
drying blood that crusted his lower lip. He didn't
even mind the pain as long as she was here.

The year he had spent on his own had been the
loneliest of his life, even lonelier than those after
Samantha's disappearance. Because, he thought,
in retrospect that being unloved was far easier
than being loved and apart.

Pulling him closer to her they sat silently, her fingers
tangled in his hair, stroking in a gentle rhythm. They
sat there watching the shimmering stars both lost
to their wandering thoughts.

"It's not...not that I don't believe you. It's just that I'm
a little...," she paused as if to collect her thoughts.
"I'm just a little scared."

Finally the truth.

Spoken for all the world to hear, yet he was the one
who listened.

"You don't think I am?"

He watched her gnawing her lower lip, a sure sign
she was concentrating.

"Was what he said true, Mulder? Was it true or
was it another lie?"

What was he supposed to tell her? He hadn't even
come to terms with it himself.

All he could do was nod.

The entire time he had laid on that cold hard floor
as they beat him, then during the rapes he had
prayed for death. He had convinced himself that
he would never see them again, that it was better
if they never knew.

He had been wrong.

"We have to get him back Scully."

She glanced up from where she had been drawing
with her toe in the sand. "What?"

Mulder swallowed hard, feeling the tears thicken
in his throat. He had to do this. He had to get his
dignity back. Prove to himself that they hadn't won.

"I want my son back Scully."

END PART 3

======================
20 Miles Southwest
Lubbock, Texas
2:15 PM
======================

Eight hours on the road since she had found him
heading west towards Phoenix and not a word
had passed between them. Scully glanced up with
relief when she saw the exit sign. Neither of them
had eaten since the night before, not to mention
the fact that her back was killing her and the tank
was running on empty.

"You hungry?" she glanced at Mulder from the
corner of her eye as she steered onto the exit.

"No...not really," came the faint reply.

Scully had no intention of arguing with Mulder,
but if they were to succeed in this little adventure
he was going to need all the strength he could
muster. She was still worried about the validity
of their finding Will, but she wanted her son back
just as much as Mulder...maybe more.

Clearing her throat she pulled into a Quicktrip
just off the exit, swooping into a slot next to one
of the self-serve pumps.

"Mulder I'm going in to pick up a few things can
you take care of filling up the tank?"

At the sound of her voice he turned from the
window, the sight of his glassy eyes causing
her throat to tighten again. His expression
screamed exhaustion, desperation and a pain
filled fear that she understood all to well. With
one hand she reached out, stroking his cheek
gently.

"We will get him back," she leaned over her
lips brushing his as the tears began to trickle
down his face. "I promise you Mulder. I swear
I won't let them keep us apart."

His arms slid up to engulf her, his face burrowing
into her shoulder. She could feel each breath he
took, each beat of his heart.

"I just want some peace...all I've ever wanted
was a home...a place where the pain couldn't
reach."

"I know...I know," she smiled at him as she pulled
back. "They can bite me I'm tired of running from
those bastards."

Mulder burst out laughing.

For a moment she wasn't sure what to think, then
she smiled wider. "Fill up that tank!" she smacked
his shoulder as she backed out of the car.

"Yes, Ma'am!" he shot back through the laughter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So what's so funny?"

"Shut up Langly!" Mulder hissed through clenched
teeth as Scully disappeared through the door.

He refused to meet the tall blondes eyes as he fought
with the pump nozzle. This was getting ridiculous, he
thought, as he peered from the corner of his eye.

"I hope she gets some Dorritos...Ranch flavored...I
have the worst case of the munchies."

"Dammit Ringo you can't have the munchies we're
all dead and that includes you."

Mulder jerked up in time to see Frohike smack Langly
in the back of his head. "What the heck is going on
for the love of pete?" His head whirled to see Byers
wandering around the corner of the car.

"This is not real...this is not real," he whispered as
he focused on the digital readout.

"Now is that any way to treat a group of heroes?"
Frohike wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Dead heroes!" he snapped causing the woman at
the next pump to eyeball him warily. Lowering his
voice he met Frohike's dark eyes. "Why are you
here? What the hell do you want from me?" he
hissed.

"It isn't what we want from you man, but what we
can do for you. Jimmy and Yves are in Tulsa and
they can help you," Langly piped up.

"Jimmy and Yves?"

"What about Jimmy and Yves?"

Mulder jumped at the sound of Scully's voice. When
he turned back he was alone.

*Jimmy and Yves*

"We have to go to Tulsa Scully." He grabbed the
bags from her hands, leaving her staring at him
with the oddest look in her eyes. "We have to find
Jimmy and Yves."

=======================
USMC Base Brig
Quantico, Virginia
=======================

"Your friends are coming to see you boy."

Mulder glanced up through crusty eyes, shivering
as the guards lifted him to his feet. All he wanted
to do was sleep, whimpering he twisted in their
rough grasp.

"Calm down boy! We can't have your friends seeing
you like this," the soldier grasp the base of his neck,
wring a howl from his throat. "Can't have those
friends of yours thinking that we showed you anything,
but hospitality."

Dragged down the hall, his legs to weak to support
his frail abused body, he whimpered as he was led
to the showers. Pushed to his knees a flood of icy
water pounded him down, aggravating his already
bruised body.

Lost within the freezing nightmare Mulder curled
in on himself, knees drawn to his chest, head resting
against them. He wanted to know what friends they
were talking about...what friends would know where
he was? The Lone Gunmen were gone, their lives
sacrificed for a cause that had no hope. Scully had
no idea where he was just as Skinner didn't. There
was no one who knew so who could they be...these
friends?

One of the soldiers held him down as the other
took a rough cloth, scrubbing him until he choked
back painful sobs. Soap trailed down his face
burning his already tear swollen eyes. How long
the shower lasted he couldn't say because finally
the darkness swallowed him up.

========================
Dusty's BBQ
5 miles South of Tulsa
8:15 PM
========================

As the engine died Scully sighed her mind trying
to form the question she wanted to ask. Since
leaving Lubbock the silence had ruled once more.

"Scully I'm sorry."

She started at the teary apology from the silent
man next to her. Somewhere in her chest she
felt her heart break a little more with each silently
passing second.

"There's no need to apologize, but I'm curious how
you know about Jimmy and Yves. How do you know
they're in Tulsa?"

Mulder shifted in his seat, the harsh silver streetlight
forming a halo around his shadowed face. He seemed
to be considering her words, yet no sound passed his
trembling lips.

"What is it Mulder? Is it the...,"

"...ghosts," he finished turning back to the window.

"Your ghosts? Mulder I'm not sure...,"

"...it's okay," he whispered, "...you don't have to...,"

"...believe?"

Mulder smiled weakly, his fingers fiddling with the bright
yellow cap of the half empty soda bottle between his
knees. "I should have stayed, but I didn't and now here
we are in the middle of Bum Fuck Egypt...,"

"Tulsa...Oklahoma...Mulder. It doesn't matter where we
are though, as long as we have each other. I want this
to end, I want it to stop now, I want my life...I want it
back."

"There are things I should have told you," he spoke
softly.

Waiting silently she let him gather his thoughts. There
was a part of her that suspected what those things might
be, but she would allow him to inform her.

"Have you spoke to Skinner?"

Her eyes focused on a flickering portion of the neon sign
above the sloping roof of the restaurant "No."

"Scully you know I love you right?"

She nodded, her throat tightening.

"I'm scared for him."

"He...he knew what he was getting into Mulder."

"I don't know why any of this is happening. I don't understand
any of this...," his voice cracked.

"You were lover's weren't you?"

Turning she met Mulder's wide eyes head on. There was no
doubt in her mind what that answer was. Glistening trails of
wetness stained his face as he nodded in reply.

"When?"

"When they took you away...when they came and stole you
from me. I was pretty much a serious wreck...I wasn't
eating or sleeping," a soft snort came from the passenger
seat. "I suppose he saved me...yeah...he saved me from
myself...,"

Scully swallowed hard, the neon sign in front of her eyes
becoming a rose smear. She had often wondered about
her partner's time alone, her mother having told her that
he was close to suicidal.

"Mulder...I'm...it's...it's not any of my business. I had no right
to ask about your relationship with...,"

His fingers were gentle as he caressed her hand. Turning in
her seat she smiled through a sheen of tears. What had
made her think that this would be easy? Nothing was ever
easy with Mulder...it never would be.

"Let's go get something to eat...okay?" his eyes glittered
with unshed tears. "We need to talk."

==========================
J. Edgar Hoover Building
Washington, DC
9:15 PM
==========================

Beyond the window the last rays of the dying sun had
left a smudge of rose tinted light on the quickly
darkening sky. As he stood there, hands clasp behind
him, he wondered where Mulder and Scully were. He
prayed that they were still alive, that they had escaped
the same murderous bastards that had removed him
from his career four days ago.

When he had stepped into the Kersh's office he hadn't
been sure what he would find or what would find him.

"Sir?"

Skinner turned from the window at Kim's soft voice.

"Yes?"

"It's getting late, sir. I know they were expecting the new,"
she choked for a moment, "...AD in the morning."

Nodding absentmindedly he let his eyes travel over the
three boxes on the desk, each neatly labeled. Twenty-
five years of memories shoved into three measly card-
board boxes. Picking up the name plate, he ran his
fingers over the engraved letters...Walter S. Skinner,
Assistant Director. He was glad his parents were no
longer here to see this.

Kimberly's gentle hand on his shoulder drew him from
his thoughts into the here and now. He took strength
from her familiar presence as he lifted two of the
boxes.

"I'll help you with that, sir."

"Walter," he admonished.

A tiny smile flickered at the corner of her mouth. "Walter,"
her eyes glittered as she lifted the final box.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ride down to the parking garage had been silent, but
a comfortable silence. That silence had been ever present
through the past nine years, he would miss Kim, he thought.

"I know it wasn't your choice. You love your job to much to
walk away like this. What did they say to you?"

"Kimberly...Kim please don't ask these questions."

Her jaw tightened as she struggled to bite back the anger
that was swelling up from the pit of her stomach. Her boss
was a good man, a man who had dedicated his life to the
law only to have it turn on him.

"If not me then who, sir? Mr. Mulder and Agent Scully are
gone...Agent Reyes was sent back to New Orleans...Agent
Doggett well I'm not sure what happened to him. No one
really does. What's happening? Please...sir...talk to me."

Silently he unlocked the car door, shoving the boxes one
by one into the back-seat. Shutting the door he leaned
against the car wondering what he could possibly say
to the only woman in his life who hadn't disappointed
him in some way.

"Kimberly do me a favor," he turned around his hands
settling on her shoulders, "...go upstairs, pack your desk
and get the hell out of Dodge while you still have a
chance."

Her eyes widened. "My God...he was right. Fox Mulder
was right about everything."

When he saw the horror in her eyes Skinner drew
her into his arms. For a moment he considered
telling her the complete truth, that he was leaving
to search out each of his wayward agents.

"Your leaving," her words were a faint whisper.

He didn't bother answering when he pulled away, his
hand on the door handle. As he pulled the door open
he smiled, "Get as far away as you can and take
anyone you love with you."

The last memory Walter Skinner would have of the FBI
was Kimberly standing alone in the harsh overheads
of the parking garage. Her arms wrapped around her
as she watched him drive away.

"God watch over her," he whispered.

===========================
Bi-Right Motel
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Midnight
===========================

Mulder lay staring at the stained ceiling above the bed,
the faint sound of water splashing behind the bathroom
door music to his ears. Dinner had been a quite affair,
but at least the food was good, he thought.

As he mused over dinner a memory came flitting across
the back of his eyelids. Another barbecue place, but in
the northern reaches of Wisconsin.

"What are you smiling about?"

Directing his gaze to the far corner of the room his brow
furrowed as Krycek appeared from the shadows. Lifting
his eyes back to the ceiling Mulder snorted.

"What?"

"You wouldn't understand...you were a heartless bastard
in life and you haven't changed much."

The mattress swayed beneath a weight Mulder knew
couldn't be there. "Is that how you saw me for real or
are you still pissed about the 'naked' Scully comment?"

Rolling over Mulder sighed, the taste of beer and barbecue
rising into the back of his throat. "You make me sick Krycek.
Do you honestly think I can believe that your some kind of...
I don't know...some kind of..."

"Guardian angel?" Krycek's green eyes danced with faint
amusement as Mulder rolled off the bed. "I don't expect
you to believe a thing I say or do, but I am here for a
reason."

Pacing between the bed, the door and the television
Mulder ran his fingers through his dirt encrusted
hair. He wasn't sure why he was being haunted by this
walking nightmare, but maybe if he went along with the
game...

"Okay I give. Why are you driving me nuts?"

Krycek's brow shot up in a perfect imitation of Scully.

"I'm serious Krycek...tell me what you're here for or leave
me the fuck alone."

"I know where Jimmy and Yves are staying. I also know
that they were the ones that delivered William to the
Social Services...Child Welfare folks in Iowa."

Mulder stopped dead in his track, tears springing into
his eyes. "William's in...he's in..."

"Iowa," Krycek smiled at the speechless man. "Before
you go racing off though I have to tell you one other
thing."

"What?" Mulder swiped at his eyes fighting the tears
that were struggling to escape.

A sad expression came across Krycek's face as he
began to fade. "They're closing in Mulder...they know
where he is...you have to find Jimmy...Yves...they can
help you...3324 West...ester...ly..."

Mulder was left alone.

A cold draft and the scent of vodka the only sign that
Alexander Krycek had been in the room.

END Part 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mind, Body & Soul 5/?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

======================
Westerly Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma
5:30 PM
======================

Westerly Avenue was in a lower middle class
neighborhood. Neat, clean, but in definite need
of repairs.

A broken fence.

Peeling paint.

Yet despite these obvious needs it was filled
with playing children, retirees gardening and
young families returning after a hard day of
work on this early summer evening.

The battered SUV was at home in this neighbor
hood with it's ancient oaks and sugar maples
lining the cracked sidewalks. Inside fighting off
the edge of exhaustion sat Dana Scully her once
vibrant red hair dyed a chestnut brown. Where
once it had brushed her shoulders it now barely
reached the bottom of her tiny ears.

Sighing she lifted the binoculars to her aching
eyes, scanning the street, the houses, but a
small stucco three houses up from her position
was what caught her full attention.

3324 Westerly Avenue.

The address where, if she were to believe Mulder,
their future lay. Glancing over her shoulder, a tiny
smile wavered at the corner of her mouth.

Mulder lay curled in a tight ball, a familiar Navajo
blanket wrapped tightly around him, in the back
seat. That was about the only familiar thing at
first glance. His once clean shaven face now
sported a neatly trimmed beard and mustache
through which she could see the first fine touches
of grey. He was in need of a hair cut, but he insisted
it was all part of the disguise.

Two weeks they had been skulking through the
outer edges of Tulsa and her suburbs. Staying in
cheap motels or more often than not sleeping
in the SUV that they had traded for the day they
had arrived in Tulsa.

Scully had argued that they really needed a more
fuel efficient vehicle, but Mulder had won this time.

Yeah, right, she thought, as if you ever win an
argument with that stubborn fool.

A soft snort escaped her as she lifted her eyes
back to the pale pink stucco. To her suprise she
caught a glimpse of Jimmy as he slipped through
the side gate into the back yard. Turning back to
her partner she reached out to shake him awake,
instead she felt him shiver.

A soft whimper of pain.

The nightmares, she thought. Over the last two
weeks she had spent more than her fair share of
time rocking Mulder in her arms when he had woke
from yet another terrifying dream. Often it would
take her a good fifteen or twenty minutes to calm
him enough so she could even touch him. Mulder
being Mulder though never told her about the dark
visions that haunted him.

Her fingertips brushed his cheek as she whispered
his name. "Mulder...wake up...Mulder."

When the whimper became a sob she turned to
more drastic measures. "Fox! Wake up Fox!"

With the sound of his hated first name the sob
softened to a moan. The next thing that happened
left Dana Scully's mouth hanging open in shock.

"...walter...please...don't let them..."

"Mulder!"

He sat up so fast his head thumped against the
roof of the car. A faint grunt escaped him as the
blanket slipped down his shoulders on to the
seat.

"What?" he mumbled sleepily, rubbing at his
damp eyes with the heals of his hands.

"Jimmy is in there," she spat out angrily.

"What's wrong?" his eyes tried to meet hers, but
she turned back to the front.

That was a good question, she thought. What was
wrong? You know what's wrong Dana, the tiny voice
in the back of her head whispered. Every since he
had confessed that he and Skinner had been lovers
that tiny seed of anger had been growing.

"Nothing," she shot back.

When she glanced up in the mirror their eyes met
for a split second and what she saw in his tore at
her heart. After everything they had been through,
after all the pain and she was letting petty jealousies
come between them.

"Mulder...," she plucked at a loose thread on her jeans,
"...I think we need to talk."

The feel of his large warm hand closing over her
shoulder caused her to jerk upright, their eyes meeting
in the mirror again. She choked back the guilty sob
when she saw the damp trails that stained his cheeks.

============================
3324 Westerly Avenue
5:30 PM
============================

"Jimmy!"

Jimmy Bond turned at the sound of a sharp angry
voice, one he knew all to well. Carefully he let the
kitchen door swing shut, checking the lock twice
before following the irritated tones of his
companions richly accented voice.

Standing at the picture window, peering between
the dusty slats of the blinds, Yves tapped her foot
impatiently against the scarred wood floor.

"How many times Jimmy?"

"What?" he shrugged his shoulders in her direction,
dropping the grease stained bags on the coffee
table. "I was on time." He glanced down at his watch
just to be sure.

"The front gate!" Yves yelped storming across the
room, sprawling on the worn sofa. A cloud of dust
exploded around her as she slapped her feet on the
table, barely missing the food. "You shouldn't have
used the front gate...they could be watching."

Reaching out she retrieved the pack of cigarettes
from the top of her boot. With a groan she dropped
her feet to the ground, shaking one cigarette loose,
then searching for the lighter.

"I really wish you wouldn't smoke those things," Jimmy
dropped down next to her, offering one of the bottles
of soda to her.

"Give me the lighter Jimmy," she leaned in close, dark
eyes flashing. "I know you have the damned thing!"

Sighing he rooted in his jeans pocket pulling out a
wad of coins, bills along with said lighter. Yanking it
from his grip she snapped it open, bringing the clear
blue flame to the tip and inhaling. Smiling she settled
against the cushions, a cloud of blue-grey smoke lifting
to the dusty ceiling.

"When are we going to stop this?" he reached into
one of the bags extracting a burger.

"Stop what?"

"Running Yves. Do you think the guys would have
wanted us to live our lives this way." He peeled
back the wrapper taking a healthy bite, a trail of
mayo and catsup dripping down his chin.

"The guys are dead."

Jimmy made a choking sound swallowing hard.

Blunt and to the point that was Yves. God he loved
her, but the hard ass act was beginning to wear
thin on his nerves. Why couldn't she just admit she
missed them like he did?

"That was cold," he whispered, wiping at his chin with
the tail of his tee shirt. That's it Jimmy irritate her
more.

"There was someone watching the house this after
noon. A woman...in an SUV. I think they might have
found us."

A dull throb began behind his eyes. It had been a hell
of a lot easier when he had been clueless, he thought,
with a groan.

=========================
Interstate 55
Northwest of East St. Louis, Illinois
6:00 PM
=========================

With a wave of his hand Skinner dropped from the
cab of the eighteen wheeler, a word of thanks to
the long haul driver. He had picked him up just out
side Chicago and it had been a fairly pleasant run.

Eyes taking in his surroundings he noted the intersecting
rail lines with interest. He wasn't sure why, but his instinct
told him to head south. Maybe it was because he knew
Monica was back in New Orleans or maybe it was because
of Mulder.

A sigh escaped him as he hefted the duffel up, slinging
it over his shoulder. Despite the lack of jungle he had
been having flashbacks to Vietnam. Where every decision
had been observed, even if it was just the monkeys in
the trees taking in the sights.

As he slid down the incline to the tracks, he smiled at
the familiar weight of his gun at his back. He had spent
over half of his life with a gun in his hand it just came
to be a natural part of him. A part that he had only
backed away from in the summer of '94.

Mulder.

His thoughts drifted back to the man he had watched
grow over the years. A man who's strength he admired,
not to mention his conviction.

A man who had shown him something that summer.

How to love again.

=======================
Casey's Bar & Grill
Washington, DC
July 4, 1994
=======================

Fingers trembling Mulder lifted the slick shot glass to
his lips only to have it intercepted by a large steady
hand. With a grunt he turned on the barstool his
body swaying with the effort only to meet two dark
chocolate eyes beneath a furrowed brow.

"Wha' hell ya wan'?" his fingers reached out to snag
the shot glass from his tormentor.

"For you to get your head out of your ass."

He glared at Walter Skinner through the drunken
haze he had willed himself into three days before
without a care for anything, including his job. Even
that, the one thing he had deemed all important,
was nothing.

"Giv...me bac...I want my drink," he fumbled for the
glass as Skinner sat it just out of reach. "Le...me
drink 'n peeezz!"

"I think you've had enough Fox."

Mulder's head snapped up like his neck was
spring loaded, one eye squeezed shut, the other
squinted tightly. "Don' call me that!" he shook his
fist at the man before him.

As he surged forward he lost his footing on the
wooden rung and fell into Skinners arms. Lifting
his eyes up he met the amused expression in
his boss' eyes as the world began to spin.

"I..thing...I'm," before he could finish he emptied
the contents of his stomach down the front of
Skinner.

All that he could think was a hundred and fifty
of good liquor wasted, then he had passed
out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Skinner had decided to drive home, he doubted
that Mulder had anything he would be able to
wear. At least he had been wearing jeans and
a tee shirt. A hot breeze blasted through the
open window of his Cherokee scalding his skin,
but it was that or end up smelling regurgitated
whiskey all the way to Crystal City.

Flipping on the radio he cruised the airwaves
until he hit on an oldies station. Jim Morrison,
he thought, as his fingers began tapping to
the notes of his youth. Sometimes he forgot
how far apart he and Mulder were in age.

He had went to Nam in '69 at eighteen. Mulder
had been a child still eight or nine, an entire
generation apart, yet he still understood more
than Mulder gave him credit for at times.

A low muffled groan rose from the back-seat
as Morrison informed the world everyone
was just a rider on one big fucking storm.

"...sir?"

Glancing up in the mirror he watched with
barely veiled amusement as his passenger
tried to set up. The look on Mulder's face
was hilarious as he realized he was not only
in his boss' car, but that he was coated in
his own drying vomit.

"...I...ah fuck," with that Mulder dove for the
window, his head hanging out like an over
enthusiastic puppy.

Skinner couldn't stop himself from laughing
as his still half drunken agent hung out the
window, heaving until not a drop was left
to heave. Normal people, he thought, do not
rescue their employees on a national holiday
because they have nothing better to do. Of
course since when were his employees or
himself normal.

"Hang in there Mulder...hang in there," he
gasp through tears of laughter.

===========================
Devlin Memorial Park
2 blocks East of Westerly Avenue
7:20 PM-Present Day
===========================

Scully didn't know who Devlin was or why
someone thought he was in need of a park.
but she was grateful that it was empty. She
sat beneath a Chinese Maple it's spindly
branches providing very little protection
from the setting sun. Leaning back, legs
crossed she stared straight up thinking how
the jagged scarlet leaves reminded her of a
blanket of blood.

A deep heartfelt sigh escaped her parted
lips as she blew a wild strand of chestnut
hair from her eyes. That was how she felt
sometimes like she was suffocating under a
blanket of blood that had just thickened over
the years.

Melissa.

That thought sprung unbidden from her
thoughts as she plucked a wild violet from
the grass. She wished with all her heart
that Melissa were here, she would know
what to say...what to do. Lowering her eyes
she studied her partner who sat next to
her, his slim fingers worrying at one of the
peaches they had picked up at a small open
air market earlier.

"I'm sorry."

Her whisper sounded loud in the quite air
of the empty park. Mulder jerked up his eyes
wide with a mixture of fear and anger.

"Leave me the hell alone!" he hissed.

Shocked she moved closer, her lip quivering
as she spoke. "Mulder I really am...,"

"Not you Scully...them," he nodded to their
left where a cluster of pines backed a small
play area.

"There's no one there Mulder," she frowned
with worry.

"Come on guys will you do something to convince
Scully I'm not crazy," Mulder's lip rolled out in a
familiar pout as he cocked his head.

"Geez Mulder she can't see us because she doesn't
believe. Besides the big guy up there says your
the only one we need to talk too." Frohike moved
within a couple of feet, then squatted down to
look him in the eye.

"The big guy?" Mulder raised one brow in a perfect
imitation of Scully.

"You know...," sighed Frohike, "...Budda, Shiva, Jehovah,
Allah...,"

"Barney," snickered Langly as he flopped into one of
the swings, his long legs stretched out in front of him.

"Shut up punk!"

"Guys come on!" Mulder stood reaching out to grab
Scully by the arm. "Big guy or not I'm tired of her
looking at me like the bastards worked their mind
mojo on me!"

"Mulder!" Scully tugged away from him, eyes widening
even further. "Your scaring the shit out of me now.
How did you know Jimmy was here? I want the fucking
truth!"

"I told him."

She jumped at the sound of a familiar, but impossible
voice. Something cold brushed against her sleeve as
she jumped back further. It's just the wind, she told her
self as she searched the shadowy park.

"Keep telling yourself that Scully if it makes it easier."

The distinct smell of leather, gun oil and Cool Water
wafted past her nose. Blinking she watched as the
impossible happened right before her eyes. Nothing
more than a shimmer at first, then slowly a figure
began to form.

"Son of a bitch! Mother of mercy!" Scully shrieked,
darting across the grass her hand grabbing Mulder's
arm with a death grip. "What the fuck?!" her eyes
were so wide now they looked ready to explode from
her skull.

"Alexander Krycek at your service," the wispy image
bowed deeply.

"This isn't happening...this isn't happening...," slowly
she sank to the ground, pulling Mulder with her.

"Krycek goddammit quit messing with her! I swear
I'll...I'll...,"

Alex smirked like the cat after feasting on the canary.

"Stop it now!"

"Or what you'll kill me? To late Fox," his voice was
edged with acid. "Your boyfriend took care of that
didn't he? Oh, and speaking of...where is dearest
Walter anyway?"

Mulder gritted his teeth until they ached, his arms
encircling Scully's shivering form. "Why is it they
can't show themselves, but you can? Does God
hate me that much?"

Alex shook his head a look of sorrow replacing the
anger that had burned there only moments ago.

"Don't patronize me Krycek! I know God wouldn't
do this, maybe Lucifer, but not God unless he
hated me."

"God doesn't hate Mulder...it...it just is."

"It?" Mulder frowned at the apparition.

"God is everything Mulder. That's the secret those
spiny necked freaks were afraid of us finding out.
They evolved to a point where they felt they were
like God. That they should be worshipped rather
than some human fairy tale."

"So what are you saying," whispered Scully as she
pulled from Mulder's arms, "...that they created
us? That they are they ultimate authority?" Her
fingers lifted to caress the tiny cross at her throat.

"What he's trying to say is that their self important
attitude pissed off the higher power."

All three turned at the soft feminine voice.

Scully stood her legs shaking as she tried to breath
through the thickness in her lungs. "Do you see her
Mulder? Do you see her?!" Tears welled up in her
eyes as she took a shaky step.

"Yeah I do," a tiny smile flickered at the corner of
his mouth as he stepped forward. "Hi Melissa
long time no see."

"Hello Fox."

He barely reached Scully in time to keep her from
hitting the ground.

======================
Comfort Inn
Tulsa, Oklahoma
9:35 PM
======================

Blinking Scully drew a deep breath, then closed
her eyes again, trying to focus on the feel of
the soft fleece of the blanket against the bare
skin of her legs. What a dream, she thought,
stretching and rolling beneath the protective
cocoon.

Ghosts.

She snorted, burrowing into the fluffy pillow
beneath her throbbing head. All of Mulder's
talk had her dreaming of ghosts and of all
people Alex Krycek. A shiver slid along her
spine as she recalled how vivid it seemed.

The scent of leather, musky and well worn.

"Scully you awake,"

At first she was tempted to lie just so she
wouldn't have to get up, but then she weighed
the pros and cons. God only knew how long
she had been sleeping and she feared what
Mulder might have been doing. Since Doggett
and Skinner had rescued him from his certain
death, he hadn't been right.

"...yeahhhh...," she moaned beneath the blanket
preparing to be torn from the blessed warmth
into the real world. As she sat up rubbing the
last gossamer strands of sleep from her eyes
it suddenly hit her.

How had they got here?

"Mulder? Exactly where are we?"

His voice drifted in from what was apparently
a small kitchenette. "Motel not to far from
Westerly." He popped around the corner a
battered skillet in one hand. "You feel up to
eating something?"

"How did we get here?" she marched across
the worn carpet to the door that Mulder had
disappeared through again.

"I drove it wasn't like you were in any shape to
drive...after...park...I," his voice was lost in the
clatter of the pan, the hiss of running water.

The park.

It wasn't a dream.

Suddenly the room began to sway, her legs
going limp beneath her, a cold sweat breaking
out along her upper lip. Digging her fingers into
the door frame she managed to toddle into the
tiny room, her legs finally giving up the fight as
she felt the cool plastic of the chair seat.

"Scrambled eggs?"

She lifted a pale face to Mulder nodding numbly
as his smile faded.

"What is it?"

All she could do is shake her head. "I'm fine."

At the look he gave her, she forced a smile on
her face. He gave her one last glance before he
turned back to the stove.

"So tell me Mulder about Skinner. How did you
end up...," she paused searching for the right
word and tone. "Together."

Jerking around he studied her from beneath
a furrowed brow, then turned back to the skillet,
dividing the eggs onto two paper plates.

"He rescued me from the bottom of a whiskey
bottle. I guess...well I sort of lost it when you
disappeared. I really had a...," his voice faded.

"A what?"

"A death wish, but I just couldn't put the gun
to my head. I opted for the hard way out...,"

=====================
Walter Skinner's Apartment
Crystal City, Virginia
July 4, 1994
=====================

Mulder woke with a start wondering where
the hell he was and exactly how he had gotten
here. There were vague images, sounds even
a vision of...

"Shit!" Mulder yelped as it came back.

Skinner at Casey's telling him to get his head
out of his ass. How had Skinner known where
he was at, as a matter of fact, why did he even
give a damn?

Throwing back the blanket he stood on coltish
legs as he thought of the scene he had made
at the bar. His stomach protesting he stumbled
towards what he hoped was the bathroom. No
sooner had his eyes lit on the toilet than his
stomach did a mighty heave ho and a drum roll.

How long he knelt there on the cold porcelain
heaving he had no idea when he felt gentle
hands rubbing his neck. He was still heaving
when the hands vanished only to be replaced
with a cool wet washcloth.

"You okay?"

Leaning back on his heels he tried to pull in
a breath through his raw throat, the burn of
acid causing him to gag again. Panting for a
breath he smiled at Skinner through a sheen
of tears.

"No...I...why didn't you just leave me?"

Skinner silently helped him to his feet, one
hand reaching out to flush the toilet. "I'm
not just your boss Mulder...I had hoped you
realized that."

"Don't you understand? I want to...,"

"What? Die?"

Eyes burning he looked up into Skinner's
angry face. "Yes...goddammit! Yes!"

Shaking his head Skinner turned away, his
shoulders stiffening. "There's a towel, some
toiletries and a some clean sweats. Clean
yourself up you look like hell Mulder." Then
he was gone, leaving Mulder alone with
his self-pity.

=====================
Comfort Inn
Tulsa, Oklahoma
10:30 PM-Present Day
=====================

There was a part of her that felt ashamed
at the jealousy swelling in her belly. Her
mother had told her about Mulder's state
of mind during her abduction. Had she really
thought he would survive without support?

"Scully it happened...I don't know what to
say to you...I don't...,"

"Mulder it's okay. I just don't know how many
more secrets I can take. I gave our son away,
I watched those bastards convict you of murder
and I almost lost you...again. Not to mention the
fact that I was talking to the ghost of Alex Krycek
in the middle of broad daylight just a few hours
ago." She smiled through the tears that had
been slowly trickling down her cheeks as she
spoke.

Standing Mulder stepped to her side, kneeling
at her feet. She smiled down at him wondering
what the hell she had done to deserve this man
in her life. Looking into his eyes she saw a sad
strength in their depths, just as she felt a warm
soul in the firm grip of his hands as he stroked
her fingers.

"Maybe there is still more to the story Scully?"

"Story?" she laughed softly.

"We never really understood what they wanted,
why they came to you when William was born."

"What does it matter? They left him alone then,
but they came back. They were always coming
back. Did Jeffrey really free him or were we both
fools?"

Leaning into him she buried her face into the
thick softness of his hair, the tears finally coming
in a flood of heated moisture. All the pain she
had held in began to escape with each ragged
breath. If only he could forgive her, she thought,
if only he could succeed where she had failed.

"We have to go get Jimmy and Yves," he whispered
in her ear. "They're the only ones who can help us
now. We can find him Scully...we will."

"What about the others? What about Reyes and
Doggett?" she pulled back from his embrace
reluctantly.

"They're strong people Scully I don't know what else
to say."

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up for
just a split second. Turning her head she caught
a glimpse of red hair, then nothing.

"I really did see her didn't I?" her word came in a
breathless rush, over trembling lips. "Is Missy here
Mulder? Is she here right now?"

With a nod he stood drawing her to her feet.

"What about Skinner?" she suddenly ask.

Stopping in the door she saw his shoulders stiffen,
his breath explode out in a wild huff.

"Mulder?"

Behind his closed eyes Mulder focused on the man
who had saved him more times than he cared to
admit. Against the darkness of his thoughts a spark
of light appeared and a faint voice. Smiling he lifted
his hand as if to touch that voice.

"Mulder?"

The connection snapped, but the smile remained.

"He's coming," he whispered.

Somehow Scully knew the ghosts had nothing to do
with this one. After all the tests they had run when
he returned she realized that they had missed the
truth.

Mulder could still read minds.

End Part 5/?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mind, Body & Soul 6/?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

======================
3324 Westerly Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma
12:45 AM
======================

Darkness can sometimes be a riddle.

Within it's soft folds one might hide from all the
things that would dare touch their soul, yet in
those same folds you might find your worst night-
mares. Yves knew this for the fact it was. She had
spent the better part of her life being one of those
possible nightmares.

A gun for hire.

Now she was a fugitive simply because she had
somewhere along the way developed a sense of
right and wrong. A conscience that she hadn't
wanted.

Sighing she lit another cigarette, inhaling deeply
as she ground the last butt out beneath her heel,
leaving a dark smudge of ash across the floor. Up-
stairs she could hear the shuffle of Jimmy's feet as
he finished packing the last of their meager belong-
ings. He was right, she thought, the guys wouldn't
want them living like this.

That's when she saw it.

Just beyond the darkened window a figure, no two
figures, moving among the shadows.

"Damn...," she hissed between clenched teeth.

The cigarette hit the floor leaving a trail of embers
as she drew her gun from the small of her back. She
should have insisted that they leave earlier.

"Yves I can't fin...,"

Slamming him into the wall she slapped her palm
across his mouth cutting him off mid-word. Above
her hand his eyes widened with a silent question.

"They're here...in the backyard," she whispered.

With a nod Jimmy reached beneath his own jacket,
pulling out his own weapon. He swallowed hard as
her fingers slid across the swell of his lips, his heart
suddenly racing. Yves jerked her head towards the
back door, then nodded towards the front door. He
knew this game, they had played quite often since
Iowa...since the baby.

He hadn't really known Mulder that well. Scully on
the other hand he had been getting to know when
she made the decision. Jimmy had no children, but
he knew in his heart that it had torn her apart. The
fact that the bastards were still coming even after
William's "disappearance" was terrifying. The even
bigger fact was that no matter who they were they
had touched the edge of Mulder and Scully's world
so that made them a prime target.

Nodding back he slipped across the floor to the
front door.

Yves was out the door onto the back porch before
he even finished shutting the front door. With her
dark hair and complexion it was easy to melt into
the shadows as she moved across the yard. From
the front of the house she heard a yelp, then a
thud. Jimmy must have got his target.

At the sound of a body hitting the ground her own
target appeared, a flickering shadow followed by
the whisper of feet against dry grass. Drawing up
her weapon she aimed for where the head was
or so she hoped, then yelled.

"STOP OR YOUR DEAD!"

The shadow came to a skidding stop at the edge
of the narrow alley along the North side of the
house.

"DROP YOUR WEAPON! HANDS ON YOUR HEAD
WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!"

Moving across the shadowed lawn Yves left her
weapon locked on the head of the shadow. She
could her his breathing, fast and rapid, in the
silence. It was obvious now it was a man or least
it appeared to be a man.

"Yves?"

Two things happened at the sound of Jimmy's
worried voice. First she let her guard down,
then the man turned.

"Dammit Jimmy!"

Bringing her gun hand up in a defensive gesture
she felt the impact of metal with flesh and bone
all the way up to her elbow. The shadow grunted
in pain collapsing, fingers grasping at the front of
her jacket, as Yves was pulled down under dead
weight.

======================
3324 Westerly Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma
2:20 AM
======================

"It's them Yves! What the hell do I have to do
to convince you? Slice them open? Prove they
have red blood?"

Mulder choked back the groan that rose in
his throat as he fought his way back to the
land of the living. He had no idea where he
was or even how he had gotten here. Trying
to lift his hand to wipe the last of the fuzziness
away he realized his hands were bound behind
his back with cuffs.

Oh, God...no...please.

His thoughts shifted back to the dark cell where
he had lost his hope. He tried to scream, but
the gag prevented any hope of calling out. Panic
set in as he fought against the cuffs.

Please...don't let this happen again.

"Shit Yves! He's freaking out! Give me the fucking
keys...NOW!"

Mulder heard nothing.

He felt the cold metal.

Tasted the dry cotton.

"Mulder! Mulder listen to me! It's Jimmy! Jimmy
Bond...calm down...it's okay."

When he felt the pressure of an obviously male
body against his back he screamed into the gag,
the darkness threatening to close in once more.

*Mulder*

The softness of the whisper calmed him as he
felt the cool metal fall away.

*Mulder calm down*

Blinking, he whimpered, as he was rolled over
onto his back. He tried to focus as a gently hand
pulled the gag from between his trembling lips.

*Jimmy and Yves wouldn't hurt a fly unless you
bleed green or have a spike spine*

"Hey Mulder...breath for me okay."

With another blink and a ragged breath he opened
his eyes Jimmy's concerned face hovering over him.

Then there was Krycek.

"...scully," he gasp through a constricted throat.

"In the other room. I...we didn't mean to scare you."

Helping Mulder to his feet Jimmy couldn't help, but
notice the way the man flinched at his touch. He had
heard through channels forged by the Gunmen that
he had been held for murder in the Marine Brig at
Quantico, but what went on behind those barred
windows none of them had been able to discover.

"...want scully," he whispered as Jimmy gently lowered
him to the bed.

*Scully...Scully...Scully whenever are you going to let
it go?*

Jimmy backed away from the bed as a chill crept up
his spine. Something else was in the room, he thought,
as he watched Mulder's eyes tracing back and forth.

==================
Union Pacific Rail
Southwest of Tulsa, Oklahoma
3:00 am
==================

Walter Skinner sat up with a start, his chest tight and
burning with a pain he couldn't explain. Beneath him
the rattle of the boxcar kept time with the pounding
of his heart.

He had been dreaming of Mulder.

Lost...alone...in the darkness.

Despite what those bastards had told him in that
dimly lit office he had refused to believe that Mulder
was gone. With a grunt he stood and moved to the
door of the boxcar, peering out into the darkness.

A river, he thought, as he checked his watch. If the
time was correct, then he decided the lights along
that writhing black mass of water were Tulsa or at
least the outer edge. That would mean the river, if
his memory served him right, was the Arkansas.

Moving back to the makeshift bed of feedsacks,
he lay back, his thoughts drifting to the dream.

There had been pain, fear and a cry of desperation.

He closed his eyes rubbing the bridge of his nose,
beneath his glasses. There had been nightmares
like that even before Kersh had informed him of
Mulder's presence at Quantico. As a matter of fact
if he really confessed the truth to himself there had
been nightmares for the past four years, almost five.

Every since the incident with that fucking rubbing
had put Mulder in the psychiatric unit. He remembered
standing watch over him, ashamed of his weakness, of
his betrayal hoping beyond all else that Mulder would
understand.

That was when he had heard the whisper at the edge
of his thoughts. A faint sorrowful voice calling his name.

At first he had thought Mulder had woke up, but then he
realized he had heard it inside his head.

*Walter...not your fault*

He remembered moving to Mulder's bedside wondering
what he was hearing or maybe he was imagining. There
was no sign of life behind those vacant eyes, but he
knew he was in there.

*...forgive you...my friend...*

From that moment forward he had always known where
Mulder was...what he was feeling. That was how he had
known without asking that he and Scully had become
lovers. He had woke to the most intense, beautiful
feeling, fulfilling beyond words. Though it tore his
heart out, he was happy for Mulder because he knew
that Mulder had been in love with her for years. Even
when they had been together, he had known.

That first night he should have stepped away, but he
just couldn't. He had cared for Mulder in a way he had
never cared for anyone, but Sharon.

=========================
Walter Skinner's Apartment
Crystal City, Virginia
July 6, 1994
=========================

Jim Morrison was demanding to break through to the
otherside as Skinner stood tossing another shot of Wild
Turkey. Behind him the scent of marinara sauce filled
the apartment as it bubbled softly. Sometimes he thought
his ability to cook was the only reason Sharon had said
yes when he proposed.

For the past two days he had been trying to recapture
something he had lost when she walked out. Technically
they were still married, but there was nothing left of what
they had been. Reaching for the bottle he poured another
shot and contemplated the rich amber liquid.

*Put hair on your chest kid*

He laughed softly as the voice of Roy Evans' voice echoed
up through his foggy memories. Roy had been his confidant
and teacher when he hit Vietnam. He had been the consummate
bastard too.

*Put a rod in that jelly spine boy*

His eyes drifted back to the balcony doors, where suprisingly,
a down pour of unbelievable intensity was occurring. Rain of
that intensity wasn't something one saw very often in the dead
heat of July. Turning back to the living room he was wandering
to the kitchen when the door buzzer jerked him back to the
present.

"Skinner!" he barked into the intercom.

"Mr. Skinner this is Randall at the front desk. There's a young
man down here that claims he's one of your agents."

"Who is it?" he raised a brow knowing, no hoping it was who
he thought.

"He say's his name is Fox Mulder."

"Send him up Randall," he almost sighed with relief.

"Don't think that's a good idea sir. He seems in a bad way.
Looks like he was in a fight," he voice lowered, "...he smells
of liquor to, sir."

With a quick shake of his head he let Randall know he was
on the way down. Here we go again, he thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Randall had greeted him at the elevator door with a worried
expression. "I'm afraid he's hurt bad, but he's not letting me
touch him. He's been crying since he walked in the door, sir."

Mulder was a mess, he thought, at the first sight of him in the
guards break room. He was slumped in the corner, sitting on
the floor, a growing puddle beneath him. Tee-shirt and jeans,
torn, filthy, stained with what appeared to be blood. That
wasn't suprising considering a trickle of blood was oozing from
his hairline down along his jaw, purplish blue with bruises.

"Mulder...,"

When Mulder's eyes had met his he had almost gasp at the
pain in them. Kneeling in the floor he waved Randall back
with one hand.

"Mulder?"

Without a word the younger man scuttled across the floor
slick with rain water into his arms. As he sat there holding
on for dear life he could feel Mulder's chest heaving with
each breath.

"...sh...she's gone...gone...,"

"I know...we'll find her Mulder...I promise.

======================
3324 Westerly Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma
3:15 AM
======================

Scully glared at the other woman across the room pacing
from door to window.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Yves turned, her eyes
flashing with barely contained anger.

"That you might just fucking help us!" snapped Scully as
she ran a gentle finger along Mulder's hairline. A knot
had rose where Yves' gun had connected with his head.

"We were told that you had died in New Mexico. For all
we knew you were those spiny necked bastards." Yves
peered between the slats of the blind, searching the
silent street.

"Who told you that?"

"Agent Reyes did," Jimmy sat down on the foot of the
bed, a flush of guilt staining his cheeks. "When she got
back to DC she contacted one of the designated e-mail
addresses."

'What about Doggett?" Scully raised a brow at the sad
expression that crossed Jimmy's eyes.

"They were separated somewhere around Kansas City
on the way back. They were ambushed by a group of the
super soldiers...she wasn't sure if he made it or not."

As she opened her mouth to speak Mulder moaned
softly, pulling his hand from hers. "...walter...help...need
you...," his eyes danced beneath his lids.

"Is he going to be okay?" Yves moved to the bed, her eyes
studying the unconscious man.

"He told me before we came here that AD Skinner was on
his way here...he told me he had seen William too." Her
fingers threaded through his hair.

"So do you believe him?" Jimmy asked.

"Yes...yes I do. He's been seeing things since we got him
from the prison. He claimed he had been seeing them since
before his capture...I thought he was...that he had lost it, but
then I saw them."

"Who?" Yves brow knotted in confusion.

"Krycek...my sister...he was talking to the guys too."

Jimmy made a soft choking noise.

"Frohike? Langley? Byers?" Tears welled up in his eyes as he
looked down at the restless man, then back to Scully who sat
rubbing her bruised wrists.

"Yes," she answered. She hated saying it knowing that Jimmy
blamed himself for not being able to save them.

"...union pacific...,"

They all turned at the soft whisper. Mulder struggled to set
up as he swallowed back the bile in his throat. He blinked as
he realized where he was.

"What about Union Pacific?" Scully gently tugged him into her
arms, stroking his damp brow.

"Skinner. He just jumped out at the main rail yard out along
the river. We have to go get him." He pulled from Scully's
arms standing on wobbly legs. "He's looking for us. They let
him go, but he isn't with the Bureau anymore."

"How the hell do you know that?" demanded Yves.

"I can hear him," he tapped his temple, then winced.

"Hey, Mulder what the hell are you waiting for?"

Looking up he smiled at Frohike who stood next to Jimmy
his brow raised in amusement.

"Frohike says we're wasting time."

Jimmy turned eyes searching the dimly lit room. "He's here?"

Frohike nodded at Mulder then laid his hand on Jimmy's
already shaking shoulder. Jimmy shot up off the bed and behind
Yves who was rolling her eyes in disbelief.

"There is no such thing as...," she was cut off in mid word when
she jumped as a very familiar touch goosed her. "Dammit what
the hell?! Get your hands off my ass Frohike!" Suddenly she
realized what she had just said.

Mulder was laughing softly. "Still the dirty little pervert I see
death didn't change that."

"Be thankful it's not your cute ass I'm grabbing Mulder," Frohike
snapped, then headed for the door. "Let's go get Skinman!"

Mulder turned to Scully smiling softly at the look of worry in her
eyes. "It's okay let's go."

She nodded as he leaned in his lips brushing her forehead.

====================
Union Pacific Rail Yard
Tulsa, Oklahoma
4:15 am
====================

At least there was plenty of places to hide here if the bastards
had followed him. He doubted that they had though. they still
didn't see him as a threat and that annoyed him to no end.

Working his way cautiously over the heavy steel rails, between
boxcars and tankers he let his mind drift back. The years seemed
to fade away as he tried to picture Mulder. There was a pressure
behind his eyes that called to him, that told him without a doubt
that Mulder was alive. Not only that, but that he was near, that
he was here in Tulsa.

An ache swelled in his chest as he thought of that rainy day so
long ago. Of the moment when he had looked into Fox Mulder's
eyes and realized there was more to life than he had thought.

==================
Walter Skinner's Apartment
Crystal City, Virginia
July 6, 1994
==================

With Randall's help he managed to get Mulder upstairs to his
apartment, then gave Caroline Davenport a call. She was the best
damn doctor he knew, not to mention his neighbor across the
hall.

"He's in severe shock Walter and I don't think it has anything
to do with the beating he took." Caroline cleaned up the bloody
gauze and empty needle packets. Tucking it all away in a small
baggy she stripped off her latex gloves adding them to the mix.

"What else could...,"

"Don't play games with me Walter. I'm to damn old and mean
for it, besides you would lose," she ran calloused hands through
her white hair. "He is suffering from dehydration, he is at least
twenty to thirty pounds underweight and he doesn't look like he
has had a decent nights sleep in quite sometime."

Skinner stared out the window sure his own guilt was showing
in his expression. "His partner was abducted a little over a
month ago."

"I see...," Caroline gathered her bag stopping just behind him.
"Take care of him Walter...let yourself care okay?" then she
was gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whatever Caroline had given Mulder lasted late into the night.

Around one am he heard the muffled cries. Grabbing his robe
he came into the guest room turning on the bedside lamp. He
reached out to the restless young man, the back of his knuckles
brushing his sweaty brow.

"...scully...please don't take her...scully please...,"

"Shhh...Mulder can you hear me? Wake up it's just a dream...," he
gently slapped at Mulder's face.

It took some coaxing, but after a few moments Mulder ceased his
restless movements, opening his eyes. When he recognized who
sat next to him he began to cry like a baby.

Maybe it was that moment.

Skinner would look back at that moment with an awe. He had
once thought of himself as a strict heterosexual, but he had
found other options out in the world. Options that he had
hidden from his personal world, from himself for to long.

Before he realized it Mulder was in his arms.

"Please...," his voice was a breathy whisper.

Fingers tangled in strands of chestnut silk, he pulled him
closer their lips meeting for the first time.

"I promise you...you're safe with me Fox...,"

====================
Union Pacific Rail Yard
Tulsa, Oklahoma
4:30 am
====================

He wasn't sure when he realized that someone was following
him, but he had a feeling it was a friend not a foe. Dropping
and rolling beneath one of the boxcars he pulled his weapon
then moved to his feet.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

From the shadows a small figure appeared, hands lifted in
supplication. He held his aim until the figure stepped into
a patch of bleached white light from one of the security
lights.

"Scully?" dropping his aim his mouth flickered with a tiny
smile. "Is that you Dana?"

All she could do was nod, tears swelling in her eyes.

"Show me your neck," he choked out.

Slowly turning she lifted her shirt over her head baring her
spine without any hesitation. Moving to her he traced his
fingertips over the smooth pale skin.

No spines.

Grabbing the woman he turned her in his arms, taking in
the shorter, dark brown hair, his hands trembling. "God it's
really you," hugging her to his chest he sighed in relief.

"Sir it's good to see you," she whispered into his chest.

"Walter...it's just Walter now," he laughed as she smiled.

"There's some others with me too." She tugged the loose
tee-shirt over her head.

"Who?"

"Walter?"

He turned to see Mulder standing behind him, pale with
the exhaustion apparent in his eyes, but he was alive. All
he could do is stand there staring, the tears beginning to
blur his vision.

"Fox," he whispered as Mulder wrapped his arms around
him. "Monica said you were...that she feared you were both
dead...," his voice trailed off as he tightened his grip.

*Takes more than a bunch of spine necked super freaks to
keep me down*

Skinner pulled back his eyes widening at the soft voice inside
his head. He wasn't nuts, he thought. he had heard Mulder.

"How?" he whispered.

Mulder shrugged his shoulders.

Following Mulder's gaze he saw Yves, then Jimmy joining
Scully. "So what's the plan Mulder?"

"Whenever did I have a plan?"

Laughing Skinner wrapped an arm around his shoulders in
a strong embrace. "Oh, I think you have a plan about this."

"Where are we headed?" Yves' eyes darted around the
shadows as they headed back to the SUV.

"Iowa...Sugarcreek, Iowa," Mulder spoke up.

"Sugarcreek?" Scully raised a brow as she retrieved her
keys, unlocking the door.

"That's where William is at."

"How?" Jimmy ask as he waited for Yves to get comfortable.

"Same way I knew Walter was here. He's calling to me."

Scully turned the key in the ignition as Skinner slammed the
door shut. Cramped, but they all fit, she thought, as the
engine turned over. The idea of seeing her child again was
almost overwhelming as she drove out of the rail yard.

Her baby.

Their son.

Eyes drifting down she smiled at the sight of Mulder's pale
hand against the denim of her jeans.

====================
Sugarcreek, Iowa
15 Miles Northeast of Town Limits
6:00 am
====================

Stumbling over lose rocks the man ran, his breath coming
out in ragged gasps as he hit the creek. Cold water seeped
through his cracked boot soles, soaking his socks, chilling
his toes. He paused long enough to fill the two canteens
slung over his shoulder.

With a groan he splashed some of the water in his face
trying to wake himself up. Wiping his palms on his jeans
he lifted the blanket tucked around the bundle strapped
to his chest. A soft gurgle wafted up causing a tiny smile
to twitch at the corner of his grimly set mouth.

Large blue eyes met his own, a tiny nose twitching as if
the baby knew what he was thinking.

A loud crash sent him surging to his feet and across
the slight incline of the creek bank. In the distance
just above the tree line the sky was beginning to lighten
to a rose tinted purple. Dawn, he thought, as he dove
through the thick foliage praying he would find some
shelter for him and William.

"I promised you," he whispered through a tight throat.

Taking off again the sound of an explosion behind him
sent a burst of energy through his exhausted body. At
the top of the hill he paused to look back, his eyes
tracking the rolling clouds of ebony smoke.

He shook his head in weary disbelief.

Two people.

Innocents who had done nothing, but love a child.

Wiping at the ash and tears John Doggett turned
disappearing into the woods.

END PART 6/7

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mind, Body & Soul 7/7
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

====================
75 miles Outside Sugarcreek, Iowa
2:15 pm
====================

They had been on the road for nearly nine hours,
each one taking a turn at the wheel. Skinner had
taken over from Jimmy twenty minutes ago at one
of the many gas and snack shops they had seen
along the way to Sugarcreek. Scully lay curled
against Mulder's chest next to him, her soft
snoring bringing a tiny grin to his somber expression.

A quick glance in the rearview mirror confirmed
that Jimmy and Yves, limbs entangled, were sleeping
soundly despite the afternoon sun fighting through
the storm clouds they had rode since Kansas City.

Riders on the storm.

He didn't realize he was humming until Mulder,
who he had thought asleep, spoke up.

"Morrison," his words were faint, soft. "You were
listening to him that night."

Glancing over he met sleep glazed kaleidoscope
eyes. Right this moment they seemed almost a
deep forest green ringed with gold dust, it was
those eyes he loved the most...

Had loved, he corrected himself.

"What night?" he focused on the dark ribbon of
asphalt beyond the dusty windshield.

"It's okay Walter...I understand...I can't expect,"
Mulder's voice cracked.

As he turned to study the younger man the first
roar of the storm vibrated the frame of the SUV.

The first drops of moisture.

Clear crystals of liquid, so much like the tears
they had both shed that night.

======================
Walter Skinner's Apartment
Crystal City, Virginia
July 6, 1994
======================

He was afraid to breath, to move, to basically do
anything that might frighten the dark haired
angel in his arms. The taste of his lips still
fresh in memory and breath.

Large dark eyes stared up into his face as if
there remained nothing, but fear and doubt
about the implications. He leaned in close his
breath soft against the angel's neck.

"...let me love you...," he whispered unsure of
his own words. "No one need ever know if that's
what you want."

A tremor passed through the frail bruised
body in his arms, but those eyes never left his
face. Before his eyes they changed color, from
dark walnut to golden brown. His head bowed,
then lifted again and in that one moment Walter
Skinner knew the answer.

Pressing him gently down against the worn cotton
sheets he settled next to him drawing him back.
Spine to chest, a perfect spoon of flesh, bone and
muscle. His hands settled on the narrow hips, his
lips at the juncture of neck and shoulder, tasting
his lover's skin for the first time.

He tasted of spiced soap, frigid autumn wind and
sorrow. Of a pain so acute it brought tears to
Walter's eyes. It was wrong this thing he was doing,
he thought, as he moved down one smooth shoulder,
tracing the swell of graceful muscle beneath damp
silken skin.

Freckles.

He smiled as he saw the barely there splotches just
a shade darker than the rest of the skin. He would
have never thought of freckles on this pale golden
skin. Fingers dancing up the slender waist he paused
at the swell of his ribcage, each rib in sharp relief as
he counted, the tears finally escaping.

"I promise to take care of you...," he knew with that
soft whisper his world had changed forever.

He had kept that promise even when his own life was
the price, even when Mulder had turned away from
the relationship that endangered them both.

====================
Sugarcreek, Iowa
30 Miles Northeast of Town Limits
2:15 PM
====================

Exhausted from his furious race up the mountains
Doggett was grateful when he seemed to miraculously
spot the cave hidden by a thicket of brush. Laying in
the cool darkness, he slept, body curled around the
precious bundle he carried. Dreams haunted his sleep.
dreams of a dark haired, dark eyed woman he had made
a promise to back in Kansas City.

He shifted in his sleep his heart racing as the memories
of that dark moment came back in a tidal wave.

<Go! Go Goddamit! You have to find him...protect him!>

A whimper escaped his lips as he tried to tighten his grip
around the squirming infant.

With a jerk he woke eyes wide, breath ragged in his abused
throat. "MONICA!"

It took a moment to realize where he was and why he was
there. Scrubbing the tears from his face, he gave a moments
thought to the two innocents he had left behind.

The Van de Camps.

A simple farming couple who had wanted nothing, but a
child of their own. Now they were gone, another in a long
line of lives ruined and destroyed by those...whatever
they were.

Soft gurgles drew him from his thoughts, pulling his attention
to William. At first it didn't register. It was William, but...

The child before him was older.

A little boy of at least two years, his hair a thick rich chestnut
not unlike his father's, his eyes a vivid blue even in the shadows
of the cavern. Their eyes met for the span of a heartbeat, then
he smiled. Holding chubby arms out his smile grew even brighter
as he toddled towards Doggett.

"..jaaan...,"

"Oh, my God," Doggett's chest tightened as he grabbed the
child, crushing him against his chest. "It didn't work...Spender's
injection didn't work."

====================
Van de Camp Farm
Sugarcreek, Iowa
3:45 PM
====================

"Jesus...," Jimmy's voice seemed overly loud in the eerie
silence of the valley. "What the hell happened here?"

Walter Skinner was reminded of 'Nam once more as his
eyes moved over the holocaust that remained. What had
been a farm house was now a blackened, gutted skeleton
of jagged beams. Lazy spirals of smoke danced skyward
on the faint summer breeze, the occasional flicker of still
glowing embers flashed in the shadows.

"...no...no...god no...," Mulder's faint whisper met his
worried ears.

"Mulder don't...," Scully moved closer her hand gripping
his shoulder.

Throwing her touch away Mulder moved closer to the ash
colored nightmare, vivid against the bright green of the
trees and grass. Falling to his knees his head rested on
the grass, fingers digging into the lush green.

"Will he be okay?"

Skinner turned at Yves' concerned whisper. Her dark eyes
were filled with an emotion he had saw so often in the
eyes of so many. He had never known much of who this
exotic woman was, but he knew that emotion. She had lost
a great deal in her life of that he was sure.

"I'm not sure...," he felt his throat close as he watched
Scully kneel next to Mulder in the grass. He watched as
he found her arms like he had once found his.

======================
Walter Skinner's Apartment
Crystal City, Virginia
July 7, 1994
======================

He stood staring out at the distant skyline of DC his
body aching to join his lover back in the tangle of
warm covers. There was doubt though that Mulder
would want to stay, that he would flee in shame at
what they had done last night. How many rules they
had broken?

"Come back to bed...please?"

Turning he couldn't help the smile that slowly worked
it's way up from deep in his heart.

Mulder lay on his side, the snow white of the sheets
bringing out the golden sheen of his skin. His eyes were
the color of lush spruce caught somewhere between a
smoky blue and dark green. There was a part of him that
wanted to claim this moment for all eternity in the deepest
reaches of his soul, but then there was another part that
shied away. A part that thought he was lacking, that he
was undeserving of this one moment of happiness.

The positive part won.

He remembered the next two hours as the only time in
his life when love had won. The taste of full soft lips, the
feel of his skin slick with perspiration, his long muscled
legs wrapped around his hips. Every moment was etched
in Technicolor glory forever. Even the sound of his cries as
his passion was released in a wave of scent and touch.

"I love you Mulder," he whispered those words within the
cover of shadows. In the afterglow of a passion he had never
known could exist.

"Fox...silly...Fox is my name."

====================
Van de Camp Farm
Sugarcreek, Iowa
7:00 PM
====================

Yves drew on the dark cigarette, the taste of clove sweet
on her tongue as she watched the sun set in the western
sky. Watercolor smears against the deepening blue sky.

"How's he doing?" she took another deep drag, dropping
the butt onto the shale drive.

Jimmy's arms came around her.

She hated this need she had discovered, the crack this
man had made in her armor. Leaning back she let herself
drift in the scent of her companion. It was strange how just
his scent could ease her fears, her doubts.

"He won't let anyone close enough to check on him. Dana
is pretty torn up, she won't talk to Skinner or me."

Turning in his arms she looked up into his eyes. "What did
you expect Jimmy? We came here to retrieve her son and
what did we find?" She pressed her cheek to his chest, the
faint sound of his heart reassuring her.

"Skinner found the parents," he whispered into her hair,
"...that's why I came to get you. We need some help taking
care of the bodies."

"...william?" she swallowed the fear that rose in her chest.

"No sign of him."

====================
15 Miles Northeast of Van de Camp Farm
8:05 PM
====================

John sat staring at the sleeping infant, not really an infant
though now. Beneath his outer jacket a four year old child
lay sleeping. His mind was still trying to wrap around what
he was witnessing.

Six hours.

In six hours he had watched this "miracle" child age three
years. It wasn't possible, he thought, this couldn't be
happening.

"John?"

He glance up at the tiny voice still tinged with sleep.

"Yes?" he swallowed hard.

"Why you scared of me?" Huge glittering sapphire eyes
studied him. "Where mama?"

"I'm not scared really," he answered slowly, "...I just don't
understand."

"William special...dada know...," he paused pushing up
from the sandy floor. "Dada be here soon. Mama too."

"They're here?"

The tiny boy nodded a smile touching his full soft mouth,
lighting up his face. "Bad ones here too." A frown creased
his smooth brow.

John let his eyes drift to the mouth of the cave. If they
were on their way they needed to hurry. Staying here
wasn't the best strategy, but it was the only one he had
at the moment. He couldn't exactly drag William through
the forest at night especially if he was still growing. The
last spurt had been painful.

"Where are they?"

William moved across the small space to set in John's
lap, his soft dark head burrowing into his chest. Tears
thickened in the back of his throat as he looked down
on that small head so much like Luke's.

"They're at the farm," William whispered.

"Jesus...they're not saf...,"

"...bad men are gone," he interrupted with a wide yawn,
"...dada knows where to fin...," his voice faded to be
replaced with soft snores.

"God...I know it's been awhile, but I think this is my
second chance. Help me out here okay?" Lifting his hand
he began to brush trembling fingers through his dark hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Outside the moon had rose.

Three-quarters full, it's light danced across pine, spruce,
oak and maple. What was in daylight a mass of swirling
greens was now a haunted landscape of black and white.

Through that silvered dreamscape shadows moved,
flickering in and out of existence. Their passage was
silent lost on the night wind and the lone howl of a
wild dog.

Billy Miles or rather what had once been stepped from
the tree line the shadows gathering on either side. His
vacant stare focused on the hillside some fifty yards in
front of them.

"Is he near?" a slender blond woman stepped forward,
her voice flat, inhuman.

"Yes," Billy scanned the hillside once more, "...they are
here as well."

"The father?" The blonde's eyes shifted back down the
hillside towards what remained of the farm.

"Yes...and the mother."

"Were we wrong?"

"Yes. He is a danger to our plans...as is the father."

"What of the mother?"

"She is dispensable. Only the vessel through which he
came."

====================
Van de Camp Farm
Sugarcreek, Iowa
11:20 PM
====================

They had put to rest the poor souls he assumed had
been William's adoptive parents. Husks of burnt flesh
from which nothing could be truly gleaned. Perhaps
the murderers had been what remained of the Consortium
or maybe worse they were the creatures that they had
named super soldiers.

Corpses did not speak though. At least they didn't to
him. That was Scully's gift not his.

"Cigarette?"

Skinner looked up from the fire into Yves' stone cold
features. He hadn't smoked since 'Nam, but then all
the boys did. Reaching out he took the pack from her
hand shaking one of the fragrant cigarettes from the
pack.

"What the hell...probably going to die tomorrow any
way."

Hunching down he lit the cigarette from one of the
many dancing flames. That first drag brought back
memories of leave in Bangkok. A beautiful Eurasian
prostitute dressed in emerald silk, embroidered in
gold, her golden skin seeming to shimmer beneath
the waterfall of raven hair.

"Do you think he's alive?"

He nodded as he took another drag remembering
the weight of her soft breasts in his hands. That
memory though began to melt into another, the
emerald silk now a pair of emerald eyes.

"The sky is falling chicken little."

"Huh?" he jerked awake from that heated memory.

Yves laughed softly as she traced his line of vision
to where Mulder sat rocking quietly. "Never thought
of you as a swinger."

He raised a shocked eyebrow. Could he be that easy
to read?

"So does he know?" she inhaled holding it in until the
count of ten, then exhaling a cloud of blue-grey.

"Yes, but there are more important things than that."

"Really?" It was her turn to raise a brow. "Listen to the
voice of experience, there is no better time to let a
person know. I used to be you...," her words drifted as
her eyes found Jimmy returning from the perimeter of
the camp.

"Noooooooooooooo!"

The desperate scream brought every one of them to their
feet and heading to where Scully was now trying to pin
Mulder to the ground.

"What's happening?!" Skinner barked.

"He just looked out into the woods said 'William', then
tried to take off. When I knocked him down he started
screaming...," Scully explained breathlessly amidst the
flailing arms and legs.

Kneeling next to Mulder's head he began calling his
name softly, hoping he would get through. Despite
his best efforts Mulder continued to fight a keening
cry exploding from his throat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After he had seen the ruins he drew into himself, his
thoughts reaching out seeking what he had lost.

His son.

William.

He hadn't heard Scully's soft pleas to speak to her,
nor anything else as he tried to find anything. The
longer he sat the more lost he became, his voice
calling out on the ether of his mind.

How long he searched he couldn't say when a hint
of his presence came to him.

*dada*

*Can you hear him Mulder?*

Deep inside he could see the spirits each one as
they had been in their lives. All spoke to him, but
Krycek was the loudest by far.

*I can*

Krycek knelt at his feet an honest to God smile
teasing his lips.

*Dada*

The whisper was stronger this time, but there
was something else. Something terrifyingly
familiar at the edge of his vision, his thoughts.

*He is our downfall*

"William," he gasp as he came to his feet.

A sudden weight brought him down and he was
no longer in a field in Sugarcreek . He was in a
cell in Quantico. He struggled beneath the
weight, but there was no escape. The burn of
penetration set his body on fire as he was held
down, violated by the soldiers, then the faces
began to melt.

The cell was gone and he was back on the ship.

They were surrounding him.

Cold metal piercing his skin...beneath him...then
inside him.

Touching him.

Raping him.

A whispering voice called his name as he fought
against the violation, then the cold became a soft
warmth. He was being loved...the mechanics now
a warm body, a warm mouth.

*Fox*

*Walter?*

*Come back to me Fox*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mulder...can you hear me? Mulder listen to me it's
Skinner," as he spoke those words his mind reached
out to ease away the fear.

Fox...come back to me Fox, he thought, as the younger
man writhed beneath the pinning bodies. It was almost
instantaneous.

"...walter...," he horse whisper.

Skinner ignored the glare he got from Scully, there was
no time for jealousies here.

"Yeah," he smoothed Mulder's hair back from his flushed
face, "...it's me. What's going on?"

"William...he's here...alive with Doggett."

"Doggett?!" Scully's face paled. "But we...you...Monica
thought he was dead."

"No...she sent him to protect William, but she didn't
think he made it. He's here, but...," Mulder struggled
to his feet, eyes wide with fear, "...they're here too."

"Who?!" Jimmy piped up, dusting off his jeans.

"Oh, my God...," Scully grew paler her eyes locked with
Mulder's, "...Billy...Billy Miles and the others."

All it took was that one name.

"Let's go now!" snapped Yves checking her clip.

Within moments they were armed and heading into
the woods, ho