Melancholy Mulder and the Moonbeam Maiden
(A Sequel of Sorts)
By Abra Elliott
xilerui@hotmail.com
Date: 20 Aug 2001
CATEGORY: MSR; fluff-o-rama
DESCRIPTION: More mangled Mulder musings...
RATING: R (for implied nookie)
SPOILERS: Everything through Existence.
FEEDBACK: Procrastination lives on feedback at
xilerui@hotmail.com
DISCLAIMER: I have no illusions about who the father of
*this* baby is...
ARCHIVE: It's yours, with my gratitude; just let me know
where so I can drop by and visit!
NOTES: This is the second most seriously inconsequential
piece of fluff I've ever written, and it's dedicated to Paige
and csw, who were kind enough to ask for it. I hope this
doesn't disappoint (*too* much, anyway! *s*).
...And now, before the babies wake up - one of them's already
playing with the busybox...
*****
"Scully. *Scully*."
"Huhngh?"
"Scully, wake up."
"What is it?"
"I have something to tell you."
"What time is it, Mulder?"
"About 2:30, I think."
"*What*?"
"It's okay - listen. I have something to tell you."
"Will's going to be up in another hour, Mulder."
"I'll get him."
"That's for sure."
"Just *listen*, Scully."
"This had better be good."
*****
Once upon a time...
*****
"Mulder!"
"What? Five minutes - that's all I'm asking."
"I don't believe this...you do know that I have to go to work
in the morning, right?"
"Trust me."
*sigh*
*****
Once upon a time, a melancholy man with the moniker Mulder
met a maiden as elusive as moonbeams...
*****
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't I already heard this
story once this week?"
"Form over content, Scully. Besides, I changed the ending."
"You did?"
"Are you going to keep interrupting?"
*****
...as elusive as moonbeams, magical and miraculous in her
mysterious majesty. Together, Melancholy Mulder and the
Moonbeam Maiden pursued masticating monsters, morbid mishaps,
mothmen, much mucus, and many a macabre maelstrom of
mortifying myths. Gradually, a realization materialized in
the mind of the Moonbeam Maiden, that these matters made
Melancholy Mulder not mad but magnificently merry, and she
amused herself by marking the implausibility of his musings.
For his part, Melancholy Mulder merely marveled at the mettle
of the Moonbeam Maiden, esteeming her above the more mammary-
laden maidens he sometimes met.
*****
"That's it. I'm going back to sleep."
"No! I'll behave, I promise."
*glare*
*****
However, many a Machiavellian miscreant mistreated the pair,
mocking Melancholy Mulder for his misunderstood musings and
misogynistically maligning the Moonbeam Maiden for months on
end. Many times the two were misled and maliciously
manipulated by their malefactors, until, one day, they were
separated altogether, leaving Melancholy Mulder and the
Moonbeam Maiden to miss each other terribly.
Well-meaning mavericks, manly men, and one mooing miss
meagerly meant to make amends for the many mistreatments
suffered by the man and the maiden, but, in the end, they
simply missed each other too much.
Melancholy Mulder missed the many moments he had spent in the
company of the Moonbeam Maiden, as well as the marauding
monsters he had often pursued.
The Moonbeam Maiden missed Mulder's...
*****
"...maniacal mirth."
"Aw, *Scully*..."
"Go on."
*****
...and neither could be mollified.
One misty morning, as Melancholy Mulder was making milk for
the mini-man he now managed, he mulled an idea that he
thought might work to their mutual benefit. Muzzling the
mutterings of self-doubt that malingered in his heart, he
made up his mind to muster the courage to propose his plan to
the miraculous Moonlight Maiden.
*****
"Which was..?"
*****
'Marry me, Moonbeam Maiden.'
To which she replied...
*****
"Maybe."
*****
"Um...you do realize I'm serious, right?"
"I *do*. It's just that I have a few conditions."
"*Conditions*?"
"Yes, conditions. Care to hear?"
"...."
"Good. First, if you so much as whisper the words 'once upon
a time' again in my hearing, the deal's off."
"Miser."
"Second, you will be taking care of nightly feedings for the
next month."
"*Month*?"
"In keeping with the form of the story, Mulder."
"Ah. A masterful move."
"I thought so. Third, no more mention of big-breasted babes,
leggy lasses, or other figments of your overactive
imagination."
"No more melony misses for Marty?"
"*No*. Fourth, I want that sofa out of the apartment."
"My much-admired masculine moveable?"
"Yes. Out."
"Maybe I misjudged our meeting of the minds..."
"Finally..."
"Mhmm?"
"Mulder...never, ever leave me alone again."
"Never, Scully. It's a promise."
"Then, much-loved Mulder, I'll marry you."
*****
And they lived happily ever after.
*****
"*The end*. Goodnight, Mulder."
"Are you sure you don't want a taste of my masculine charms?"
"Maybe in the morning, Mulder."
"A little pre-marital play, perhaps?"
"Mulder, stop that."
"Mmmmmm..."
"Well...maybe it might not be such a bad idea to make sure
you're marriage material..."
"Mhmmm..."
"And...um...who knows what might materialize..."
"I think it already has..."
"Mmmmm..."
"Marry me, Scully..."
"My pleasure, Mulder."
*****
~finis~
::xen:: x-files fanfic by abra
http://www.geocities.com/xilerui/abra