By: RhymePhile
RhymePhile@hotmail.com
 

Distribution: Wherever, knock yourself out
Rating: R for sexual situations, language
Category: V, Humor
Keyword: Mulder/Krycek slash
Spoilers: "Paper Hearts," "Pusher," "Memento Mori"
Summary: In this vignette, three situations from three different XF episodes
are "mashed" together, leading to an interesting development in Mulder's
life.
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, dammit. So there.
Author's Note: Written for the Mash-Up Challenge on MKV, a quick, fluffy,
piece I scribbled out on the bus ride home yesterday.
 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Memento Paperpusher" (1 of 1)
by RhymePhile
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slowly, slowly he traced the droplet of sweat with his tongue, shivering
with sensation as he felt the body under his shift in response.

Hands, lips, thighs -- they writhed in time to his adept work as his
attention focused on the valley of a hip, the stretch of a muscle, the
tautness of a firm stomach.

He could feel his own body responding as he moved closer, tongue gliding in
a dance of pleasure he could now hear reflected in the sounds coming from
beneath him.

The moaning...oh, God, it reverberated throughout his body like a hot wind,
making him ache, making his arms and legs quiver.

He licked his lips in anticipation, and then looked up into the face of Alex
Krycek.

"Yessssss..." came the breathless reply to the unasked question. "You know
you want it..."

Mulder bolted upright in bed, sweating, his hands tangled in bed sheets.

"Holy *shit*!"

*     *     *

"Mulder?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you hear what I just said?"

Mulder looked up from his neat row of pencils arranged across his desk
blotter. "Uh..."

Scully scowled at him. "You can at least *pretend* to pay attention when I'm
talking, Mulder. Y'know, the way you generally listen to me."

"Hey!" Mulder feigned a hurt look but had to grin. "Okay, point taken.
Sorry, Scully."

"You've been awfully distracted for the past two weeks, Mulder. Anything you
want to tell me?"

He shook his head. "Nothing nefarious. Just having trouble sleeping again."

"I could suggest better ways to deal with the insomnia if you'd like,
Mulder."

"Soothing backrubs followed by copious amounts of cookies and milk?" he
asked hopefully.

"No. Sleeping pills."

Mulder laughed at that. "I've got enough to deal with, Scully," he said.
"With my history of sleep problems I'd be addicted in no time."

"I suppose you could always hire a masseuse who works for the Oreo Company,"
she said, grinning in spite of herself.

"Which would lead to another hopeless addiction," he sighed wistfully.

She playfully batted his arm. "Well, you're going to have to find some way
to fix this, because I can tell it's affecting you."

"You can?"

"Mulder, you've been walking around here like a zombie for the past two
weeks. Something is going to have to change before you either make yourself
sick or get one of us hurt."

"You're right, Scully," he admitted. "If I don't make progress within the
next few days, I'll consider the sleeping pills. How's that?"

"Better," she agreed.

*     *     *

He was kissing him this time, hot and rough, tongues colliding and stroking.

He was throbbing, his body searching for the release he knew only Krycek
could provide.

A wet trail snaked its way down his throat as Krycek slid his lips over his
neck. Krycek was moaning, a deep guttural sound that sent shockwaves across
Mulder's skin every time his mouth moved.

Mulder needed that mouth on him, over him, around him, sucking, licking,
teasing. He couldn't hold still -- his hips began slowly thrusting into the
other man's chest.

He heard a soft chuckle as Krycek moved to kneel before him. "So hot...I'm
going to make you scream..."

Mulder awoke with such a start that he almost fell out of bed. Panting, and
feeling a familiar strain against his boxers, he steadied himself with a
deep breath.

"My God...what the hell is happening?"

*     *     *

"Did you hear me?" she asked impatiently.

"Did I file what?"

Scully sighed and leaned against his desk. "I didn't ask if you filed
anything. I said I'm due in Skinner's office in a little while."

"Oh."

"Mulder..."

"I know, Scully. I know. I thought it would get better -- I don't eat before
I go to bed, no TV in the bedroom, tried the warm milk, mediation. I can
fall asleep, I just can't...stay that way for any length of time."

"If you're still in this state by the end of the week, I'm going to take
action."

"Y'know, Scully, they say sexual activity can aid sleep patterns."

She rolled her eyes and gathered up her report for Skinner. "I'll take your
word for it," she answered sarcastically. "See you later."

"Maybe if you came back after your meeting in something red and reveal..."

She shut the door behind her before Mulder could finish his sentence.

*     *     *

While Scully was gone Mulder kept busy by re-alphabetizing some of their
newer files. He was in the middle of the H's when the office phone rang.

"Mulder," he answered.

"Hello there," the low, sultry voice responded.

"Uh..."

"If you don't know who this is I'm going to be seriously disappointed.

"*Krycek*?"

"Ding!" he said. "It's so good you got that expensive Oxford education."

"Yeah, um, what did you mean, 'disappointed'?"

Krycek sighed on the other end of the line. "Having trouble sleeping
lately?"

"I knew it!" Mulder hissed angrily. "You bastard...you've done something to
me..."

"Well...maybe."

"Damn you, Krycek, when I get my hands on you, I'm going to..."

"Going to what?" he asked, his voice low and seductive.

"Uh..."

Krycek continued, his voice taking on a warm, inviting tone. "You're going
to make your dreams reality?"

"Wha? I...no..."

"Yes you are, Mulder," Krycek said, soothingly. "I think you're imagining it
right now, in fact."

Mulder shook his head, but couldn't get the sound of Krycek's voice out of
his mind. "I'm not...I...

"Oh, I know you are, Mulder," Krycek interrupted. "Just thinking about it is
making you touch yourself."

"No..."

"Yes. You're sitting at your desk right now with your hand down your pants,
aren't you?"

Mulder shook his head at the phone, but realized he really did have his hand
down the front of his trousers. He didn't even remember sitting down behind
the desk.

"Yesssss," Mulder answered dreamily.

"Uh-huh, and who are you thinking about when you touch yourself, Mulder?"

"I'm thinking of...I don't...it's...

"It's me, and I'm naked. Can you see it?"

Mulder grinned, his hand working. "It's you, naked..."

"Right Mulder, but you need to stop now."

"Stop? But it feels so..."

"I know," Krycek said, his voice still holding that steady timbre. "But you
should meet me so we can talk."

"Talk. Okay."

"Write this down. Meet me in an hour at the Pour House, 319 Pennsylvania
Avenue, Southeast. Walk down to the Capitol building and make a left. Bear
right after the Library of Congress. If you reach Seward Square you've gone
too far."

Mulder scribbled as Krycek talked. "Okay, Krycek. But isn't that a far
walk?"

"Stretch your legs."

"Stretch, okay."

"See you then," Krycek said, and hung up.

"Okaaayy..."

*     *     *

It was a typical D.C. bar, but not crowded enough for Mulder to miss the
leathered form of Alex Krycek.

Krycek was sitting at a table near the bar, nursing a pilsner of beer when
Mulder walked over.

"This had better be good, Krycek," Mulder spat. "I walked all the way
here..."

"Because I told you to," Krycek replied, his voice lowering.

"I...but you...uh...yes, you did. And here I am," Mulder smiled back. "What
did you want to talk about?"

"An agreement."

"To what?"

"Well," Krycek said, "I have this brain tumor..."

"A brain tumor?"

"Yes, a nasopharyngeal tumor..."

"Like Scully."

"From an implant similar to hers, yes, but it's affected me differently. I
seem to have...heightened abilities."

Mulder sat down on the chair next to Krycek. "Like what? I don't
understand."

"You remember Robert Patrick Modell, Mulder?"

"Pusher, of course, he could...are you saying you have the ability, as he
did, to 'push' your will on others?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying, among other things."

Mulder scoffed. "I don't believe that. Modell's tumor was in such a position
as to render him..."

Krycek sighed and lowered his voice. "Mulder, I can do it. All I have to do
is make my voice husky and you'll do anything I tell you to."

"I'll do whatever you want, as long as you keep talking to me like that," he
swooned.

"Mulder!"

"What?"

"Pay attention. The other abilities include the connection I have to you
through dreams."

"My dreams," he echoed, suddenly looking up at Krycek and turning red. "It
really has been you doing that. It wasn't just my, uh, fantasies, then?" he
asked, making sure his voice couldn't be overheard.

Krycek nodded. "Similar to that 'nexus' you shared with John Lee Roche, only
ours is slightly more...pleasurable...and I can't control it."

Mulder bit his lip and stared at Krycek. "So what's this arrangement you
have in mind?"

"It's the dreams...I haven't been sleeping since they started."

"The dreams have been...um, quite vivid," Mulder admitted. "I'm exhausted,
and my work is suffering. You have something that might help?"

Krycek cleared his throat. "I...um, I was thinking of one way to alleviate
the problem."

When Mulder saw the look on Krycek's face, he immediately knew what he was
suggesting. "You're kidding."

"It's the only way I can think of that would, well, burn off the excess
energy and get rid of the constant connection between us. If we act on it,
chances are the dreams will stop."

"And if they don't?"

The other man shrugged. "If I'm *that* repulsive to you, I can push you
to..."

Mulder held up a hand. "No, that's the strange thing. I keep thinking of
those dreams, and you, and those lips, and...wait, are you pushing me right
now?"

"No."

"Then what was that bullshit on the phone at the office?"

"Just a little fun."

Mulder frowned, and felt something odd happening. "Hold on...if you're not
pushing me right now, then why am I seriously considering this?"

Krycek merely grinned and finished his beer.

*     *     *

"Mulder..."

"Yeah, Scully?"

"Is it me or do you look a whole lot better this morning?"

Mulder just smiled and said, "It must have been the warm milk."
 
 

Exeunt
August 2, 2005
 

Adieu
RhymePhile
 

Comments appreciated, whether you got a good night's sleep or not, at
RhymePhile@hotmail.com