By Weyer, Michael
MS4EVER321@aol.com
 

Date: Sun, 29 Jun 1997
Category: CHR
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Men In Black (Movie)
Keywords: X-Files/Men In Black crossover. Mulder/Scully romance.
Summary: Meet F and D, the two newest MIB's.
 

Men (And Women) In Black
an X-Files/MIB crossover
by Michael Weyer
 

X-Files, all rights and properties owned by Chris Carter, Ten
Thirteen Productions and the Fox Network. Men In Black owned by
Malibu Comics and Columbia Pictures.
 

     This is my second X-Files crossover with a movie. My first one
was INDEPENDENCE DAY. Whereas that one placed Mulder and Scully
directly into the movie, this one puts them into a separate story
based on characters from a movie. If you haven't seen Men In Black
yet, this story gives away some plot points. Read with care.
 
 

     The day before they ceased to officially exist, Fox Mulder and
Dana Scully were investigating what appeared to be a simple case of
disappearance. At least it seemed simple to Scully. The victims
were two teenagers who had last been seen heading towards a field
popular with their sect. They had been seen at the hill but no one
knew where they were. It was as if they had simply vanished.
     After talking with the teens' parents and friends, Scully had
come to the conclusion that the two had simply left town to strike
it out on their own. It was a logical conclusion and it seemed
satisfactory. Naturally, Mulder ignored it. He had his own theory
which was why Scully was letting herself be dragged into a deserted
field.
     "You take me to the most charming spots, Mulder," Scully said
sourly as she and Mulder parked the car next to the field. Getting
out, the two slowly walked towards the area where the two teens had
last been seen. "Exactly what are we looking for?"
     "It seems those two aren't the only ones who've vanished in
this area," Mulder replied. "A farmer nearby reported that his
cattle were being taken away, one by one. That's just before he
disappeared as well. Appears we've walked into the Mid-Western
equivalent of the Bermuda Triangle."
     Before Scully could reply, there was a low humming sound. The
two glanced around, confused. There was a shimmering in the air
before them and then from out of nowhere, a ship materialized. It
was about the size of a jet, but of a very different configuration.
It was roughly triangle-shaped with metallic plating and strange
configurations all over it.
     As Scully and Mulder stared mutely at the craft, a section of
the hull opened up into a ramp. Coming out of the bright light was
a creature. If they were ever to make a Beanie Baby alien, this guy
would be the model for it. It was a dark gray color with a pair of
thin legs that somehow managed to hold up the sagging body. It had
no neck, the pug-shaped head grafted onto the chest. It had four
eyes, two on each side of the face. It also had four muscular arms,
each ending in hands with nails the size of needles. But it was the
mouth that got their attention. It covered most of the face, with
three rows of razor-sharp teeth.
     "Scully, please tell me you're seeing this," Mulder whispered.
     "I'm seeing it, Mulder. I don't know what I'm seeing, but I'm
seeing it." Scully managed a supreme effort to close her mouth as
the creature landed on the ground. It took a glance around, it's
head turning a full 360 degrees. When it gazed towards Mulder and
Scully, it stopped. The creature maneuvered himself towards the
two.      "Scully, what does the FBI handbook say on handling a
situation like this?"
     "Turn and run like hell?"
     "That's it."
     The two sprinted back towards their car. Before they could
reach it, the creature bent on his seemingly spindly legs and
leapt. He flew over their heads, landing on the car. It crushed
under the weight, the tires blown out. Without breaking stride,
Mulder and Scully turned and ran the other way. The creature didn't
move. Instead, it stuck its hands up, palms outward. From the palm
of each hand came a thick, slimy tentacle that sped across the
field. The tentacles grabbed Mulder and Scully, tripping them up.
Securing a grip, the creature began to retract the tentacles,
dragging Mulder and Scully closer to him.
     "Plan B," Mulder said. "Next time, we definitely need to have
a Plan B."
     Scully was afraid there wasn't going to be a next time. She
had never really believed that a person's entire life flashed
before their eyes, but she believed it now. There was only one
thing she had to do before the creature turned her into sushi.
"Fox, I have to tell you--"
     "Cafeteria's closed, Homer." Mulder, Scully and the creature
all looked up to see two figures standing beside a 1986 Ford LTD.
One was a tall black male with handsome features and a short
haircut. The other was an attractive white woman with dark hair.
Both were dressed in black suits, ties, shoes and watches with only
white shirts providing any other color. Each carried what appeared
to be a miniature bazooka in their hands, aimed right at the
creature.
     "Nothing to say for yourself, Homer?" the woman asked. The
alien replied in a series of grunts and wheezes.
     "Homer, Homer, Homer," the black man said with a shake of his
head. "Have you got any idea how much shit you're in? Tell him, L."
     The woman, L, pulled a small notebook out of her pocket and
began reading off it. "Let's see, failure to go through proper
immigration channels and procedures, nonpayment of immigration
fees, failure to inoculate, unauthorized landing, illegal cloak
device, no disguise. Oh yeah, and the eleven people you've eaten."
     "You're in it to your ears, Homer," the man continued. "Now be
a nice boy, put those two down and get off our planet."
     "I don't know, J, he still looks hungry," the woman said.
     "Homer, you're hungry but you're not stupid. Now put those
nice people down before we have to get drastic. We don't want a
fight, pal. We just want you to leave."
     The alien, Homer, stared at them. Actually, two of his eyes
stared at them while the other two focused on Mulder and Scully.
Without warning, Homer let go of the two agents, letting them drop
to the ground, his tentacles snaking into his palms. He took two
bounding steps and leapt towards J and L.
     Without any signs of stress or excitement, J and L snapped up
their guns and fired. Two balls of white fire ripped out of the
barrels and promptly blew Homer apart. Flecks of gray skin
scattered around along with a massive amount of gray-colored mucus.
J absently wiped a speck of it from his coat. "Damn, I just got
this washed."
     In the middle of the field, Mulder and Scully were standing.
Slowly, the two stared at one another. Then, as one, they began
striding towards the car with the two people in black.
     L was calmly stacking the two rifles into the back of the car
as J talked on a cellular phone. "We need a clean-up team, pronto.
And we're going to need some spin control on this. I don't know,
man, that's their job, have them think of something." He hung up as
Mulder and Scully stalked up to him. "Hi, how's it going?"
     They stared at him. "Oh, nice," Mulder replied. "Walking
through a field at night, being terrified, almost getting eaten by
an intergalactic snack junkie. Look, what the hell is going on?"
     "Well, since you're not going to remember this, we're part of
an elite group who monitor alien activity," L said. She walked over
to J. "Homer there was a rouge. Non authorized."
     "Love to tell you more, but we're in a rush," J said. He
reached into his pocket and pulled out a small device that looked
like a tube-shaped flashlight. He pulled out a pair of sunglasses
and put them on as L did the same. "Been real. Later." He hit a
button and the device gave off a bright flash of light.
     Mulder and Scully looked at the device, then at each other,
then back to J and L. "And the point of that is...?" Scully asked.
     J and L were clearly confused. J flashed the device again.
Again, no reaction. J and L stared at each other as J hit the
button yet again.
     Scully leaned towards Mulder. "Exactly what are they trying to
do?"
     "They're very clever. They're trying to blink us to death."
     L took off her sunglasses and took the device from J. Before
she could flash it, he grabbed her hand. "Oh, no," he said. "I've
seen this happen in a hundred Three Stooges flicks. It doesn't work
the first dozen times, we take off our shades and it works on us
and we're standing out here with our mouths open."
     "What's wrong with it?"
     "How should I know? These things don't come with a manual!"
     "So, now what?"
     "Plan B."
     L nodded. Without any warning, J punched Mulder and L knocked
out Scully. "There's gotta be another way to make a living," J
said.
 

     "Good morning," the man said. He was in his sixties, large
with a dark black beard. He walked into the office Mulder and
Scully had found themselves in upon waking up. It was white with
chairs that appeared to have come out of the set of the old TV
series, "The Prisoner." Mulder and Scully glared at him. Not
noticing, the man turned to his desk and sat down. He opened up a
file before him and began examining it. It took a moment for Mulder
and Scully to realize that the file was on them.
     "Call me Zed," the man said without looking up. "Quite a
record you two have. Very impressive. The believer and the skeptic.
Nice. Very nice." He looked up. "You want to ask any questions?"
     "Who."
     "What."
     "Why."
     "Where."
     Zed leaned back in his chair and smiled. "Back in the 1950's,
I was put in charge of a small section of the government devoted to
making contact with an alien species. It was pretty much a joke
until March 2, 1961."
     "What happened then?" Mulder asked.
     "The aliens contacted us in Queens. An agreement was struck.
To deflate your egos, Earth is considered one of the most primitive
planets in the universe. So, it became a way station, a place for
some of the lower class aliens to go to on their way to seedy
locations. Think Casablanca without the Nazis. Same deal. We keep
track of them."
     "Them?" Scully said softly.
     "There's about fifteen hundred aliens living on Earth right
now. Most of them walk in private or public, all disguised of
course. We supply them in exchange for fees and such."
     "Michael Jackson?" Mulder said.
     "Yes, actually," Zed replied, dead serious. "Unfortunetly, his
body chemistry keeps screwing up his disguises. Same with Rodman
and his hair. Jordan can't handle any hair at all. Makes it hell
for public relations."
     Scully raised an eyebrow. Clearly, she wasn't buying this.
Mulder was slightly skeptical as well. Oh, he believed that aliens
had visited before, he just didn't believe that they were treated
so well. Before they could reply, the door opened and an alien
walked in. He was about seven feet tall, yellow-skinned, thin as a
yardstick with short arms carrying a tray with coffee cups on them.
Walking on his thin legs, which were longer than his body, he put
the cups in front of Mulder, Scully and Zed.
     "Thanks, Ray," Zed said, taking the coffee cup and drinking
it, acting as if this happened every day. Which, in fact, it did.
The alien nodded and walked out. Mulder and Scully stared at the
door from where he'd left for about two minutes before returning
their gazes to Zed.
     "So, how many of them are there again?" Mulder said, more
interested than before. Zed smiled.
 

     Zed showed Mulder and Scully the main area of the New York
headquarters of the Men In Black. It resembled an airport terminal,
aliens in various states of disguise entering and leaving through
customs. It was done in a retro architecture style that suggested
the place hadn't been updated too much since it was built in the
1960's. "Exactly what branch of the government do you guys work
for?" Mulder asked.
     "We don't work for the government, Mulder. We're above the
government. They don't know we exist."
     "So how do you pay for all this?" Scully asked, spreading her
hand out.
     "Oh, we've got a few patents on out-of-town items that we put
into the public. Microwaves, Velcro, liposuction, CD-ROMs, the
Internet. Makes quite a bundle. We're hoping that DVD thing will
generate some bucks."
     "Why keep it secret then? Why not let the people know the
truth?"
     "I was expecting you to ask that question. Mulder, I know you
consider the truth the Holy Grail, but think about this. If the
public were to know there were almost two thousand aliens among
them and at least once a week the world was going to end, you think
they'd just shrug and go about their daily lives? We'd have panic
the likes of which I don't want to think about and millions of
deaths."
     "Yes, but all these other cultures, what we could learn from
them, what people could understand--"
     "Scully, the human race can't even get along with each other.
You think the introduction of a dozen different species, each one
with their own beliefs and each one thinking of us as inferior, is
going to change anything? Believe me, what the public doesn't know
won't hurt them. At least, it hasn't yet."
     He stopped midway across the room as K and L came up to him.
"Finished your report?"
     "Yep," J said.
     "What did the Yearns say?"
     "They regretted the incident and they'll be making payments to
the families of the victims," L replied.
     "Good, good." Zed motioned to Mulder and Scully. "I've given
them the basic tour. You give them the speech."
     "Got it," J said. He and L led Mulder and Scully down a
hallway and up a flight of stairs, through a door and outside.
Mulder took a long look at the skyline. "We're in New York?"
     "75% of the aliens on Earth live here," J said as he and L
walked them to Battery Park. The four sat down on park benches
before J began.
     "This is my standard opening speech. It's the speech I was
given. We want you two to join us. Before you say anything,
understand a few things. You agree, you give up everything. I mean
everything. Your homes, your families, your jobs, your bank
accounts, your identity, your name, your damn dog, if you've got
one. It's all gone. You can't associate with anyone outside us. You
don't even get a favorite shirt to wear."
     "Your life belongs to the Black," L continued. "You carry out
assignments to monitor aliens on Earth and possibly contain
situations. No one knows we exist. You have to be as anonymous as
possible. You get no recognition for your work. When you're finally
done, we wipe your memory of the last twenty years or so and send
you on your way."
     "And you expect us to agree to this?" Mulder said. "Why?"
     J looked them up and down. "I read the file on you guys. Fox,
this is the chance for you to live your dream. You want to meet
aliens? Fine. Join us and you'll have them up your ass. Scully,
you're a scientist. Tell me you're not just the least bit curious
to examine an other-worldly life form close up."
     The silence from the two answered J's question. J and L stood
up. "Meet us here tomorrow. We'll expect your answer."
     "Do us a favor," L said. "Don't make us come and get you."
     She and K walked away. "'Don't make us come and get you?'" J
said. "Girl, you've been reading way too many of Zed's old pulp
magazines."
 

     The motel room was a little more lavish than Mulder and Scully
were used to. They had made their decision over dinner. They had
decided to use their FBI vouchers for one last blast. As Mulder
panned through the television, Scully was talking to her mother.
     "Yeah, Mom, I-I'll see you. Mom? I just wanted to tell you
that I love you. All right? Good-bye." She hung up the phone and
rubbed the tears from her eyes. "Are we doing the right thing?"
     "I want to do this, Scully. You don't have to. This is my
dream, not yours."
     "Mulder, I've spent my life dedicated to science, to answering
questions. Now, I've got the answer to hundreds of questions
sitting before me. What else can I do?"
     Mulder smiled. "Together then?"
     Scully nodded. "Together."
 

     "We're in," Mulder said as he and Scully entered the building.
J and L simply nodded and led them down to the personnel level.
Like all the other hallways of MIB headquarters Mulder and Scully
had seen, it was white with dark floors. "You know, a little
redecorating wouldn't hurt," Mulder said.
     Ignoring him, J led Mulder down the hallway while L led Scully
through a door and into a locker room. It took Scully a moment to
realize this was no ordinary locker room. For one thing, every
single article of clothing except for the shirts was black. Even
the panties and bras. L led Scully to a globe-shaped device in the
middle of the room. "Put your hands in the slots," she said.
     Not exactly sure what was going on, Scully placed her hands
into the palm imprints on the device. On L's direction, she
centered up her palms and waited. Without warning, a sharp,
stinging pain ripped through her hands. Yelling, Scully yanked her
hands away, rubbing them. Looking down, she had to blink in
amazement. It appeared that the skin on her hands was shifting.
     "Your fingerprints are being changed," L explained. "All
records of your current prints are being erased and your new prints
won't register with any database."
     Scully glared at her. "You could have warned me."
     L shrugged. "I didn't get warned. It's a tradition we pass
along."
     "I bet they tell Mulder," Scully muttered. A loud shriek down
the hall caught their attention.
     "Mulder?" L asked.
     "Mulder," Scully replied.
     "Girly scream?"
     "Girly scream."
 

     Mulder and Scully strode into the MIB main computer room. Each
was dressed in the dark black suits of the MIB. Black shoes. Black
socks. Black underwear. Black pants. Black jackets. Black ties.
White shirts. Black watches. Black combs. Black handkerchiefs.
Black trenchcoats.
     Mulder looked Scully over. "You look good."
     "I feel like a reject from a Quentin Tarentino movie."
     "But in a good way, right Scully?"
     "See, that's your first mistake," J said. "As of now you can't
call each other by your names. Especially names that don't exist
anymore.
     Mulder and Scully looked at him. "What do you mean?"
     J pointed to a viewscreen operated by two tentacled aliens
resembling bean bags. On the screen were Mulder and Scully's
respective birth certificates, credit card numbers, social security
numbers, bank accounts, every piece of evidence that proved Mulder
and Scully's existence was shown. One of the aliens hit a button,
and the records vanished, leaving a blank screen.
     "We just removed every record pertaining to your existence,"
Zed said as he came up behind them. "As of now, you no longer
exist. You never did exist. You no longer belong to the system. You
are above and beyond it. We are your life now. As of this moment,
you are no longer to refer to one another by your names. You are no
longer Fox William Mulder and Dana Katherine Scully. You are F and
D."
     Mulder and Scully--sorry, F and D--watched as the final
records were erased. For a moment, all was silent. J and L knew
that the two needed a moment to digest this. It was one thing
agreeing to having your identities erased, another to see it
actually done. It'd take a while for the two to get used to
answering to letters.
     F looked over at Zed. "When do we start?"
     Zed smiled. "We had an unauthorized landing in the Meadowlands
last night. Craft and occupant unknown. J, L, take them along and
show them how it's done. Stop off at the weapons locker and give
them some hardware."
     J and L led the two new recruits down another hallway in the
seemingly endless facility. They came to a room that looked like a
weapons locker. But the weapons shown were definitely not of this
earth. "A couple of the more friendly types gave us these to help
our job," J explained. "Had to promise to use them only for MIB
purposes."
     L moved to a small table and removed a device similar to the
one that D and F had seen the night before. "Better explain this,"
she said. "This is a standard issue neuralyzer. The setting here is
pretty easy. Minutes, hours, days, weeks, years. Basically, it
sends out a flash that stops the neurons in the brain, especially
the ones having to do with memory."
     "You're saying that this thing can erase a person's mind?" D
asked.
     L nodded. "From the last five minutes to the last thirty
years. Always make sure to have your sunglasses on before hitting
the button. Otherwise, you'll erase your memory too. Also make sure
the subject is looking directly at it. After it's taken effect, you
can fill the subject with whatever will satisfy them. Pretty handy
for covering evidence."
     "Why didn't it work on us?" F asked.
     "According to the lab guys, Homer was sending out some sort of
pulse wave that screwed it up," J explained. "I don't really get it
myself, but it just couldn't work. Oh, yeah, use of this for
anything except MIB activities is severely punished."
     "Damn, there goes my Hollywood plans," F said.
 

     Five minutes later, the four headed up to the street level and
climbed inside the LTD. Buckling up and starting the car, J turned
to D and F, who were in the back seat. "Two things about this car,"
he said. "One, you do not want to touch it before you turn the
alarm off."
     "Why, the siren will deafen us?" F said.
     J shook his head. "No, the car will vaporize you. Second, see
this red button?" F and D looked at a red button placed by the
shift gear in between J and L. "You do not, under any circumstances
whatsoever, do not want to touch this button unless I say so. That
would be bad." With that, J pulled the car into traffic.
 

     A half-hour later, the LTD pulled up to a small house in the
Meadowlands. Or rather, the remains of a small house in the
Meadowlands. A young couple in their mid-twenties stood by. By the
stunned looks on their faces, it was apparent they were the owners
of the home.
     "Somebody had an early wake-up call," F said as the four got
out of the car. J reached into his pocket and pulled out a blank ID
card. In seconds the card had changed into an official looking FBI
card. "Neat trick."
     J flashed the card at the two homeowners. "Mr. and Mrs.
Johntson? I'm Agent Ferris with the FBI. This is Agents Heathers,
Carristers and Clemons. We wanted to ask you a few questions about
the incident last night."
     "We already told the sheriff," Mr. Johntson said. "Some--
plane--crashed into our house."
     "Yes, we spoke to the sheriff, sir," L said. "He told us that
although something did happen to house, nothing could be found to
suggest wreckage from a plane."
     "That's because it left as soon as it crashed," Mrs. Johntson
said.
     "Beats ejection seats," F muttered.
     Mr. Johntson stared at him. "I thought FBI agents didn't have
a sense of humor."
     "Occasionally, one gets through screening," D remarked. "Can
you tell us exactly what happened?"
     Mr. Johntson sighed and leaned back. "It was after one in the
morning. We were in bed, when this plane comes smashing down right
through our bedroom and goes right into the kitchen. It must be
some new experimental kind, because the crew came out of a ramp on
the bottom of the plane."
     "Did you get a look at the crew?" J asked.
     "There were five of them, all wearing these weird silver
uniforms. The helmets looked weird, like their heads were
misshapen."
     "Anything else distinguishing about them, sir?"
     "How so?"
     "Tattoos, marks, odd colors, something off?"
     The man thought. "Well, they spoke in some language I couldn't
understand, but I just figured it was some code. And they drank all
the orange juice from our refrigerator."
     J nodded. "Orange juice. That all?"
     The man nodded. "Then they climbed back into the plane, it
backs out of the hole in our house like a car, then rockets away.
We're standing there with our bedroom cut in half, all our
neighbors calling us. But none of them saw anything."
     J nodded and looked at L. L reached into her pocket and pulled
out her sunglasses. F and D did the same. As J got out his glasses,
he asked one more question. "Did the plane have any markings on
it?"
     Mr. Johntson shrugged. "Some weird symbol. Like an hourglass."
     J nodded. "Thank you for your time, sir." He held up the
neuralyzer and hit the button. A flash of white light went out and
the Johntsons were left standing there, eyes open and vacant.
Pulling off his sunglasses, J began to speak. "Okay, folks, here's
the deal. There was no plane. It was a faulty fixing job by your
contractors, using inferior materials. Roof collapsed and set off
a chain reaction throughout the rest of the structure."
     "Right," F said. "So, first thing you're going to do is
threaten to sue the guy. If he wants to settle out of court, fine,
but don't take anything less than the house value." He looked at
the others. "Might as well give them something."
     J smiled. F was getting the hang of this.
 

     "Any ideas on who these guys are?" F asked as the four drove
away.
     "Humanoid, silver uniforms, hourglass symbol, orange juice,"
L said. She glanced at J. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"
     "Unfortunetly," J replied. He pulled next to a convenience
store and got out. "Be right back. I'm getting the hotsheets." With
that, he walked into the store.
     "Iternons are what they're called," L explained. "Fun guys.
They believe in genetic engineering and unfortunetly, by their
viewpoint we're guinea pigs. They've been experimenting on us for
years. You remember the smallpox vaccinations? It was really a way
for them to tag onto us. Keep their records orderly."
     F and D looked at each other. Each one was thinking of D's
abduction. "How do they do this?" D asked.
     L shrugged. "They struck a deal with some covert CIA outfit
that doesn't know about us. They run this through."
     J came out of the convenience store, a sheet of papers in his
hands. He got into the car and threw the papers to D and F. Looking
down, they could see that they were various tabloid newspapers.
"You're kidding me, right?" D asked. "You're looking for leads on
these Iternons in the tabloids."
     "D, when was the last time you saw alien activity reported in
The New York Times?" J asked as he drove off.
     "Uh, never?"
     "Right. How many times have you seen it in the tabloids? I'm
telling you, these guys have the real scoop on what's happening.
Problem is, they've got the exclusive on the truth and no one
believes them."
     "What are we looking for?" D asked.
     "I think this is it," F said. He held up a page showing a
photo of a triangle-shaped ship high over New York. On the bottom
of the ship was a symbol like the one the Johntsons had described.
"Two days ago, this was headed towards upper New York."
     "Upper New York," J said. "Shit, that's where the spooks have
their base." He hit the gas and the car rocketed down the highway.
As he drove, he picked up a small cellular phone and hit a number.
"Zed, we've got an Iternon-Company outfit. Ideas?"
     "Unfortunetly," Zed said. "Regent just called. Itenrons are
planning another experiment drive. I've spoken with a couple of
galactic authorities. You have full permission to take that place
out. Iternons and humans are to be nullified or blanked. Got it?"
     "We got a timetable?"
     "One hour and a half. If you haven't got them by then, the
Regent will take matters into their own hands. That means turning
Chicago into East Coast beachfront."
     "We're gone," J said.
     "On hour to get to the other side of the state?" D said.
"That's impossible."
     "See that red button?" J said.
     "The one you told us never to touch?" F replied.
     "Yeah. Hit it. And hold on."
     F hit the button. Instantly, the car began shifting, changing,
the plates on the side forming a smooth hull. The trunk shifted to
show a pair of jet engines. With a roar, the engines ignited and
the car ripped off. In seconds, the car went from sixty miles and
hour to 240.
 

     One hour later, the LTD pulled up to a makeshift complex in
upstate New York. The four MIB's got out, F and D a little more
shaken than the other two. "Going onto the ceiling of the tunnels,
that I get," F said. "Going over water, I can handle. But how in
god's name did you pay the toll doing 250?"
     "Skill, my man. It's all skill." J opened the trunk and pulled
out four of the biggest, nastiest, ugliest guns F and D had ever
seen. They looked like they belonged to a battleship. "Lock and
load, people," J said as the four headed inside.
     They paused just outside the double door entranceway. D looked
down at the gun in her hands. "Out of curiosity, does anyone have
the slightest idea how these things work?"
     "Nope."
     "Search me."
     "Total blank."
     "Okay, just checking."
     "Shouldn't we wait for back-up?" F asked.
     J shook his head. "It'd take too long. Relax, these guys
shouldn't give us much trouble."
     "Then why are we packing howitzers?"
     Ignoring him, J stepped towards the doors and fired the gun.
A mammoth energy blast came from the barrel, blasting J back ten
feet and blowing the doors apart. Quickly stepping through, F, D
and L saw what appeared to be a hanger. Inside was the Iternon
ship, its crew noticeable by their silver outfits. The rest of the
figures were human, but one in particular caught D and F's
attention. He was an elderly, silver-haired man with a cigarette
clutched in his hand. Everyone inside stared at the group.
     "You are all under arrest for twelve violations of the Tychro
Treaty," L announced.
     "Also, destruction of public and private property, illegal
genetic experimentation, treason and at least twenty other laws of
the United States of America," D said.
     "And you'd better have permits for the hardware and insurance
for the ship," J remarked as he joined the trio.
     "Please put your hands, arms, fingers, tentacles and other
assorted appendages on top of whatever corresponds to your head,"
F said.
     For a moment, no one moved. Then the Iternons spun into
action. Much faster than any human could, they moved towards their
ship. Instinctively, D and F aimed their guns and fired. The recoil
nearly knocked them off their feet as the twin discharges ripped
through the Iternon ship, turning it into scrap. The explosion blew
a hole through the roof of the building as the humans scattered.
They didn't get far. A few well-aimed blasts from J and L stopped
any possible resistance.
     As the humans sulkily gathered in the middle of the hanger,
the silver-haired man calmly strode forward. He looked F in the eye
and sighed, exhaling a cloud of smoke. "We really do have to stop
meeting like this, Agent Mulder," he said. "It's getting annoying."
     F smiled as he met the man's gaze. "You have no idea how long
I've waited for this," he said.
     The Cancerman raised an eyebrow. "I do hope you're not
thinking of doing anything rash," he said. "Otherwise, Samantha
might suffer."
     F stared at him, his features freezing. For a moment, the
blood in his veins turned ice cold. Then it boiled over as an anger
filled him unlike anything he'd ever felt before. He grabbed
Cancerman by the tie and literally threw him into the wall. As
Cancerman tried to get his breath back, his cigarette dropping to
the floor, F jammed the massive barrel under his chin. "Where?" he
said in a cold voice.
     Cancerman looked into F's eyes and for the first time in
years, he was afraid. He had seen that same look in many eyes, his
own included. It was the look of a man who was ready, willing and
able to kill in cold blood. Too late, Cancerman realized that he
had finally pushed Mulder to the limit. "She's at a compound in
Virginia," he said, the directions rattling out. "The Iternons
returned her for testing. She's still alive and relatively
unharmed."
     "If you believe in God, thank him for that," F said. He turned
to J and held out his hand. Sighing, J gave him the neuralayzer.
Putting on his glasses, F set the device for thirty-five years and
held it up. "This is for everything you've ever done to my family,"
he said coldly before hitting the trigger.
     "Remind me *never* to piss that guy off," J said as he and L
turned towards the doorway. A dozen other MIB's were there to help
the clean-up. "Okay boys, break out the vacuums and the
neuralyzers. This is going to be a while," J said. He turned back
to F, only to see him moving towards the doorway. Before he could
move, D stopped him. "I'll talk to him," she said as she followed
after F.
     F strode towards the LTD and unlocked it. "Where'd you get the
keys?" D said as she came up.
     "Got them out of J's pocket," F replied. He looked at her.
"Are you coming with me?"
     "Where?" D asked. Then she realized where. "Now wait a damn
minute, Mu--F. We can't do this."
     "She's my sister, D. I have to. But I can't do it alone."
     "Wait a minute, think about this. This is about as big a
breach of regulations as you can get. They can kick us out."
     "Good!" F yelled. "I must have been crazy to join this bunch!
What the hell are we doing with them, D? We believe in discovering
the truth, they believe in keeping it quiet."
     "F, think about it. You go off like this, you lose the one
chance you have of seeing what you've always believed in. I know
you too well. You can't give that up."
     "If the only way I can see the truth is by eliminating it, I'd
rather be kept in the dark." F sighed. "I have to get her. She's
the reason for all this. The reason I started. My search is over.
I've already found the answers, D. Now I need to find the catalyst
for looking for them."  He leaned towards her. "I can't do this
alone. I need your help. I need you beside me. I need--" His voice
broke off. He knew he had to tell her, but if he did, that would
mean another wound waiting to be opened. "I'm asking you, D,
Scully, Dana. As a partner..."
     D looked at him, slightly moved.
     "As a friend..."
     She was still a little resistant. He bit his lip and made the
final jump. "As the woman I love..."
     Her eyes widened as his words connected.
     "Will you help me?"
 

     Thirty minutes later, the car phone inside the LTD rang. D
answered it. "Yes?"
     "ARE YOU TWO TRYING TO GIVE ME AN ULCER?!" Zed's voice
screamed. D sighed and handed the phone to F. "It's for you."
     F picked up the phone and spoke. "You wanted to say
something?"
     "What are you two doing? You can't just attack an Iternon
base! Besides causing an international incident, it's suicide! The
Iternons will make propaganda hay out of this!"
     "Not if you give them the memo, sir."
     "What memo?"
     "The one you mislaid. The one concerning our resignations.
Effective immediately."
     "Now listen here, F--"
     "My name is Fox Mulder, Zed. My partner is Dana Scully. It's
the names were born with and it's the names we'll die with. Got
it?"
     There was a long pause on the other end of the line. "Somehow,
I knew it was going to turn out this way," Zed muttered. "Good
luck, Mulder. Sorry it didn't work out."
     "Not your fault, Zed. I just love the truth too much." With
that, Fox Mulder hung up. He looked at his partner next to him.
"Together?" he said.
     "Together," Dana Scully agreed.
 

     The compound in Virginia, located about a hundred miles away
from Langley, looked like an ordinary office building. Getting out,
Mulder and Scully carefully took out pistol-sized weapons from the
car as they headed towards the building. They calmly walked into
the lobby, heading towards the normal-looking secretary. She looked
at them with a cold eye. "May I help you?"
     "Yes, we were in the neighborhood and wanted to see your
labs," Mulder said.
     "Labs?"
     "Yes, the ones where you do experiments on humans," Scully
said. "And your cells too, if you don't mind."
     The secretary gazed at them. "Who are you people?"
     "We're in a hurry," Scully said as she hauled back and decked
her. The woman fell to the floor, her red hair falling away to
reveal a bald head. Mulder raised an eyebrow. "How'd you know?"
     "No one can have red hair that perfect," Scully replied as she
and Mulder headed down the hallway. They came to the elevators,
Mulder hitting the down button. "Underground labs make sense," he
said as the doors opened. There was only one button under the
ground floor. Mulder pressed it and stepped back. He pulled his gun
out as Scully did the same. A small ring announced their arrival.
The two looked at each other, nodded and jumped out.
     As far as places to go were, this ranked rather low. Mulder
and Scully found themselves right in the middle of a hanger-sized
laboratory. About twenty Iternons stood in the lab, all staring at
the two. So was a young woman strapped to a table surrounded by
scientists. She raised her blonde-haired head and looked in
confusion at the two. Then her eyes widened in recognition. "Fox,"
she whispered.
     "Sam," Mulder whispered back.
     Every man has a breaking point, a time when they've had
enough. Seeing his long-lost sister strapped down like a rat pushed
Mulder to the breaking point. He aimed the gun and let loose a beam
of energy that decapitated one scientist and blew another one's arm
off.
     Scully quickly got over her surprise at Mulder's
uncharacteristic violence and quickly moved to cover him. Her gun
sent out balls of energy that blasted away computer consoles and
equipment, sending Iternons running for cover. Mulder leaped onto
the platform and ripped off the restraints covering Samantha. She
immediately hugged her brother. "I knew you'd come," she whispered.
"I always knew." She hugged him tighter as, for the first time in
his life, Mulder felt tears of joy cover his cheeks.
     "Mulder, I hate to stop this, but we're in danger of dying
here." Scully's words got through to Mulder. He wiped his eyes as
he helped Samantha up. "Sam, this is Dana. You can trust her."
     Scully looked at the woman and smiled. She gazed back at
Mulder. "She's got your eyes."
     As one, the three ran towards the elevator door. One Iternon
soldier had regained his bearings enough to fire a burst from his
gun at them. Explosions raged around them as they leaped into the
elevator just as the doors closed.
     Getting back to their feet, the trio took stock. "Okay, out
the front door, get in the car, drive off," Mulder said as he
checked his gun. "Am I forgetting anything?"
     "Yeah, this," Scully said as she grabbed him and pulled him
into a kiss. Breaking off, the two stared at each other. "I do love
you, you know," Scully said.
     Nodding, Mulder waited as the doors opened to the ground
floor. The three ran out and stopped dead in the lobby. Thirty
well-armed Iternons stood before them, loaded to bear. "You never
were good at thinking on your feet, Fox," Samantha said.
     A crashing sound filled the lobby as a van about the size of
a tank smashed through the entrance to the building. The Iternons
scattered as the van roared in. The doors opened and a dozen MIB's
got out, J and L in the lead, all armed to the teeth. "Show's over,
folks, time to pay the piper," J announced. As the other MIB's
began rounding up the Iternons, J and L headed towards Mulder,
Scully and Samantha.
     "Something tells me you two are about to set the record for
the shortest career in the history of the Men In Black," L said.
     Mulder shrugged. "What can you do? You're in a rut, you're in
a rut."
     L smiled and looked at Scully. "You've got a good man, Dana.
Don't let him go."
     "I don't intend to," Scully said, putting her hand in
Mulder's.
     Sighing, J took out his glasses as L did the same. "I'm going
to miss you guys," J said.
     Mulder smiled. "Thanks for the memories."
     "I wouldn't be saying that," J said as he hit the button. A
white flash filled Mulder and Scully's line of vision. And then
nothing.
 

     Scully slowly opened her eyes, getting her bearings. She was
lying in a hospital bed, a bandage over her forehead. Turning, she
saw Mulder waking up in a bed next to her. His left arm was wrapped
up in bandages.
     "Glad you two are up." The agents looked up to see Assistant
Director Walter Skinner enter the room. Their boss looked them over
quickly. "The doctors are amazed you two are still alive. Tussling
with a grizzly and surviving a day in the wild isn't something that
happens every day."
     "Grizzly?" Mulder said.
     "The grizzly bear who had been attacking those civilians,"
Skinner answered. "They found a larder in a cave nearby. You two
must have wounded him when you tussled. He died from bleeding from
several gunshot wounds."
     "I do remember firing at him," Scully said. "But after that,
it's.."
     "Doctors said there might be memory loss," Skinner replied.
"Not surprising, considering he banged you up and left you in the
cold all night. A search team found you this morning and brought
you in."
     Mulder lay back, groaning. "Great. Another hospital visit. I
keep this up, they're naming a wing after me."
     Skinner smiled. "There's something else you should know.
Something happened last night. I can't explain it and neither can
she. I've checked it and it's authentic. She's for real, Agent
Mulder."
     "Who, sir," Mulder said, confused, as he swung himself out of
his bed. His gaze traveled to a figure behind Skinner and his
breath left him. "Oh, my god," he whispered.
     The blonde-haired young woman took a few hesitant steps
forward. "Fox?" she said softly. "It's me, Fox. It's Sam. It's
really me."
     Mulder got to his feet and slowly walked towards her. He took
her head in his hands and looked her straight in the eye. He wasn't
sure what he was searching for, but he must have found it because
tears suddenly welled up in his eyes and he embraced her. "Sam. Oh,
god, it's really you. It really is you."
     "I'll leave you alone," Skinner said as he stepped out of the
room. "And Agent Mulder? You and Agent Scully are on sick leave for
the next week. Take it easy."
     Mulder barely heard him. He was feeling a joy he had denied
himself for years. Emotions were pouring out of him. He hugged
Samantha closer and gave out a whoop of joy. He jumped and nearly
lost his balance landing. He leaned towards Scully and gave her a
long kiss.
     The two broke off, both surprised. "Scully, Dana, I," Mulder
stammered. "I mean, I didn't--"
     "Yes, you did," Scully said, stroking his cheek. "So did I."
Mulder looked into her eyes and saw love looking back. He kissed
her again, taking his time. Samantha didn't know who the woman was,
but something told her that she and Mulder belonged together.
 

     Walking back to his car, Skinner didn't even notice the two
black-suited people sitting in a Ford LTD near him.
     "You really think we should have let them remember their love
for each other?" L said.
     "L, erasing aliens isn't bad. Erasing emotions is where I draw
the line. Besides, after the way they busted up that Iternon cell,
they deserve something."
     "Better not tell that to the computer department. They were
working all night restoring their records and changing their
fingerprints."
     "Ah, guys, need the overtime. Besides, I'm a sucker for a
happy ending." With that, J started up the car and pulled it into
traffic as L looked at the tabloids on her lap. The cover on one
showed a silver-haired man lying in a field. The headline read
AMNESIA VICTIM FOUND AT UFO SIGHT! ONLY WORDS: "ANYONE HAVE A
CIGARETTE?"