Pushing Dust

By: afg:
siggy.63@btinternet.com


www.ofnoconsequence.com
Rating: R
Category: Angst. MSR
Summary: Nothing lasts forever.
Thanks: To Aud for her time and enormous brains.
Feedback: Lovely! siggy.63@btinternet.com
Note: Set post 'The Truth.' This is a sequel to 'Redemption Day'

~oOo~

'Let's love
What's left
Last dance
First breath'
- Richard Thompson

~oOo~

Tecumseh
Nebraska

Ed Swan looked up from the spark plug he was cleaning. He
smiled at the woman who emerged from the battered pickup that
had pulled in to the forecourt of his small garage.

Hey, Annie. You looking for Jack?"

"Yeah, Ed. Is he around?"

Ed's smile faded as he noticed her slightly frazzled appearance;
she was normally pale but today she looked like a ghost.

"You okay, honey? You don't look so good."

"I'm fine, I just got some bad news from my sister in Georgia.
I need get down there. Is Jack here?"

Ed knew she was lying, he knew a lot more about Jack and
Annie than he suspected they thought he did. Annie especially
didn't lie well, but he liked her, he liked both of them.  

"He's in the back doing an oil change, just go through."

"Thanks."

Ed watched her hurry off. He figured they'd be on their way
now. Ed knew all about running and hiding; he'd done his fair
share as a young man and he understood the need for lies and a
packed bag

Jack and Annie emerged from the garage. Jack hastily wiped his
filthy hands on an equally filthy rag.

"Ed, is it okay if I take off early this weekend? Annie's sister is
having some problems she could use some help."

"Sure, Jack. Take any time you need."

"Thanks."

Ed was surprised when Annie came over and kissed him on the
cheek.

"Thanks for everything."

Ed looked into her pale eyes and saw a quiet sadness, which
almost broke his heart.

"Wait a moment, will you?" Ed left the couple and slipped into
his tiny and extremely disorganised office; he quickly returned,
knowing that the couple needed to leave soon.

"Take this." He held out his hand to Annie.

She looked at the roll of bills in his hand.

"Ed, no...we can't, really."

"Sure you can, take it."

Jack patted him on the shoulder and shook his head.

"Ed, you've done enough for us, we can't take this."

Ed looked at the couple for a long moment. "Look, I know
someone's after you. I just want to know that at least you'll have
something to tide you over 'til you find someplace new." He
watched as Annie looked nervously at Jack. "I'm a good judge of
people, I reckon you're decent folks. Please, it'll ease my mind."

Annie's thin hand closed around the money. "Thank you doesn't
seem to be enough."

"No worries, Annie, just take care of that man of yours" he
winked at Jack. "You'd best get going."

Jack nodded and warmly shook Ed's hand. "Thanks Ed."

They walked to the pickup and Annie started the engine.

Ed stood by the driver's open window. "I won't tell them nothing
about you, you don't have to worry on that score."

"No, Ed. You tell them whatever they want to know. Don't get
yourself into any trouble."

Ed's curiosity got the better of him and he couldn't help himself.
"What did you guys do?"

Annie held his gaze. "We tried to tell the truth."

Ed nodded. "I guess some folks would rather we didn't know
that, huh?"

"Yes."

"You take care."

"You too. Goodbye, Ed."

Ed watched as they drove off. He watched until he couldn't see
the pickup anymore.

~oOo~

Bottineau
North Dakota

Scully pulled up in the lot of the motel. She'd wanted to keep
driving but Mulder had insisted that they rest for the night. The
events of today had frightened her and what was to come
frightened her even more; not the thing itself, telling Mulder
would be the hardest part.

"A Super 8, Mulder. Isn't this a bit up market for us?"

"Thanks to Ed, we've enough to spare for a decent place. Come
on, Scully, hot showers and a low bug count, how about it?"

Scully smiled at him. She suspected he just wanted to watch
cable but she didn't call him on it. "Okay."

The check in was marked only by the look the manager gave
them when they paid in cash. The room was modest but clean,
and the shower curtain was devoid of any trace of mold, which
made it seem like the Savoy to Scully. Over the noise of the
shower she could hear Mulder rattling about in the bedroom; the
hot water felt glorious as it eased her stiff muscles from the long
drive.

She shut the shower off, saving some hot water for Mulder. The
clean towels felt rough against her skin; she'd become
hypersensitive. They'd been running for well over a year now,
and she jumped at the sight of every dark suit or uniform. She
could never seem to relax and the strain had taken its toll. As she
wiped off the condensation, the evidence was there in the mirror.
She looked thin and worn. Her eyes seemed large in her angular
face. The blond dye job had left her looking washed out, faded
somehow. When she'd seen Colton at the Hospital, a tiny part of
her had almost felt relief that now it would all end, but she knew
that it would never really be over. They couldn't be caught. They
would take her away and do their experiments. More importantly
she wouldn't let them take Mulder. She'd lived six months with
him in the ground; she couldn't do that again.

"You finished in there?"

Mulder's voice drifted through the half open door.

"Yeah, it's all yours." Scully secured the towel around her and,
grabbing a couple more, she walked into the bedroom.

"Did you leave me any hot water?" Mulder had stripped down to
his boxers. He still had grease under his fingernails and his hair
was lank.

"Yes."

He walked up to her and kissed her cheek. His beard tickled.

"You want to see if there's a place to eat near here, or are you
too tired?"

"Scully fished in her bag on the bed for her hair brush. "Would
you mind if we just stayed here?"

He smiled at her. She was surprised at how much the beard had
changed the contours of his face. He looked harder somehow,
tougher. The sophisticated FBI agent had disappeared and this
dangerous looking man had taken his place. She liked it; she
liked the feel of it on her skin; she liked the little pink blooms it
left on her flesh. It made him more 'here', more present; it
helped her not to think of him in that damn coffin under the cold
earth.    

"No problem, but I'm going to want a decent breakfast in the
morning. No bagels or, god forbid, Muesli."

"Okay, I guess something with a high grease quotient could be
arranged."

"As long as there's bacon with it, I'll be happy."

She watched him pad into the bathroom. She went back to her
bag and pulled out her medical kit from the bottom. The mattress
bounced as she sat down and sorted through the contents. She
laid them out on one of the towels; a scalpel and tweezers,
antibiotic cream, some gauze dressings, and Micropore surgical
tape.

She'd made up her mind, they'd discussed this a couple of times
but Mulder had been so adamant and stubborn that she'd avoided
mentioning it. In her mind though, it had stewed and bubbled
until it was almost all she could think about. It was time and she
would not be swayed.

"Scully what's all this?"

He stood in the doorway naked and damp, a towel hanging from
his hand.

"I'm not going to argue, Mulder. I want it out, now."

She watched his eyes narrow and saw his whole body tense for
battle.

"We've talked about this and agreed that it's a bad idea."

She had to make herself hard and her eyes never left his. "No,
Mulder. You agreed that it was a bad idea. It has to come out, it's
leading them to us all the time."

"Scully that's just you being paranoid. Every time you see a cop
you instantly think they're after us."

She knew he didn't mean to be hurtful but it smarted all the
same. "Mulder for all the years we've been partnered how often
have you known me to overreact or be prone to paranoia?"

He scrubbed his hands over his face. "We've been running for a
long time now. I know it's getting to you, Christ it's getting to
me too, but you cannot do this, it's not safe."

"It'll be fine, it's hardly brain surgery and I've got plenty of
antibiotic cream."

"Don't be obtuse, Scully, you know what I mean."

She dropped her gaze from his. She knew he was frightened; he
was so frightened he couldn't even say the damn word.

"There's no reason to believe that the cancer will come back if
the chip's removed." There, she'd said it for him.

"There's no reason to believe that it won't. The risk is not
acceptable. No, I won't allow it."

Scully felt the blood drain from her face. "You won't allow it."
She stood up; her hands shook with suppressed emotion.
"They've taken everything. My sister, my children, any chance
of a normal life; they've taken control of my goddamn mind
when it suits them and it has to end. It's my body, Mulder, it's
not yours and it's certainly not theirs. The risk is acceptable, it's
more than acceptable because I can't live with this thing inside
me, and I won't be the means by which they take us...take you."
Her breath hitched. "Help me?"

She saw his shoulders slump and she knew she'd won she didn't
feel remotely victorious because most of all, she knew how this
would hurt him.

She sat back down on the bed and parted her hair at the base of
her neck. He walked to her and put one knee on the bed behind
her. She felt his warm hand caress her skin; she shivered from
the lightness of his touch.

"What do I have to do?"

His voice was hollow.

"Feel for the chip. It's very near the surface, just make a small
incision and use the tweezers to take it out."

"Do you have any Novocaine?"

"Yes, but I won't need it. You'll hardly be making a scratch. "

"You're such a fucking stoic, Scully."

For some reason this made her laugh. She felt him kiss the top of
her head, and calmed.

"You ready?"

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Yes."

She felt the scalpel slice into her flesh.

"There's never been a minute when I wasn't glad I came with
you."

"Be quiet, Scully."

She couldn't comply. "When they brought you back and I had to
bury you...if it hadn't been for William I'm not sure if I could
have gone on. I was so lost."

"Shhhhhhh. Nearly done."

"We're no good apart. I'm always second-guessing myself.
We're partners, Mulder."

She felt him place the dressing on the stinging wound and then
his warm breath tickled her ear.

"Always."

She turned to him, wrapped the bloody scalpel and tweezers in
the towel and put them on the nightstand. She put the Micropore
and leftover gauze back into her bag. She steeled herself to look
into his eyes. The irises were almost black with some dark
emotion.

"Lie down with me."

She took his hand and drew him up the bed beside her. She
guided his head to her breast and she stroked his damp hair.

"Nothing lasts forever, Mulder. Not us, not them, nothing. We're
all just pushing dust around, but, for the time we have left, I want
to be pushing the dust with you."

He fell upon her then. He was too rough but she let him; he
needed this and so did she. His hands clutched too hard and his
lips and teeth left their mark on her pale flesh. She wasn't quite
ready when he pushed inside her, but the burn made her feel
alive and his hot flesh warmed her. She held him tight as he
strained above her. Her thighs cradled him and her hands smoothed
the taut flesh of his back and buttocks. In the end their tears
mingled on her face as he kissed her.

He smiled sadly at her as they lay side by side their hands
clasped, but there was a peace about him now.

"Sorry about going all Neanderthal on you."

"S'okay, it went with the beard." She was desperately tired but it
was a good tired. A feeling of almost weightlessness flowed over
her. It took her a moment to recognize the feeling. She found she
was smiling, really smiling, with teeth and lips fully engaged.

Mulder gave a little laugh. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine...I'm free." She grinned.

He gathered her to him, and she settled her head on his chest and
felt the thud of his heart beneath her cheek. In the morning there
would be bacon for breakfast and a whole new day. If that wasn't
worth living for, she didn't know what was.

~oOo~

Tecumseh
Nebraska

Ed Swan opened his battered mailbox and took out his post.
There was one padded envelope and, sandwiched between two
utility bills, was a postcard. On it there was a picture of gulls
swooping over the ocean. Ed turned the card over and read the
words written in neat print.

"Hi Ed.

We're fine and J's got a new job at a garage thanks to everything
you taught him. We can't thank you enough, but a friend of ours
is sending you a little something.

Take care of yourself.
Love,
A and J"

Ed smiled and read the card again, happy that they were okay.
He examined the padded envelope. The postmark said
Washington D.C; he opened it and looked inside.
He stared at the Gulls on the postcard. He'd always wanted to see
the ocean. He riffled the notes and began planning a nice trip to
the seaside.

The end.