TITLE: Red Snatch
AUTHOR:  Wylfcynne
E-MAIL ADDRESS: Wylfcynne@aol.com
SPOILERS: none
RATING: R for some language
CLASSIFICATION: MSR
SUMMARY: would be longer than the piece.  Read it, instead!

DISCLAIMER: They certainly aren't mine; if they were, they'd be having more
fun, and I'd have more money!   I'm just borrowing Fox and Dana for some fun
and games...I promise I'll bring them back on time and unharmed... and they
won't remember a thing...

FEEDBACK:   the Wylf howls at the moon for feedback...

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Red Snatch by Wylfcynne
 

"Hey, Mulder!  Is Scully a natural redhead?  Is her snatch red, too?"

Mulder regarded Agent Hansen calmly, all too aware that the entire FBI
cafeteria was listening to this exchange, and desperately grateful that
Scully was not here, yet.

"I wouldn't know," he replied and turned away, hoping to end it.

Hansen wouldn't let it lie, however.  "C'mon, Mulder!  Share with the class!
You gotta be jumpin' her bones...!  You two been locked up in that basement
together for years...!"

Mulder ignored him.

"What, are you queer or something?  Or is she a lesbo?"

He couldn't let that slide.  Mulder smiled a slow, angelic smile.  "I'm not
gay, and neither is she."

"So?  Is her snatch red, nor not?"

Mulder was turning back, so he could watch Hansen's face, when he caught
sight of Scully standing frozen in the doorway.  From her expression, he was
certain she was debating which man to shoot first.  He hid a smile.

"I'll never know, Hansen," Mulder sighed theatrically, letting his gaze slip
over Scully as if he had not seen her there.

"I knew it!" Hansen crowed.  "The bitch has bigger balls than you do, doesn't
she, Mulder?"

Mulder spread his hands.  "I'm colorblind.  Sorry."

With that Mulder simply walked away, joining Scully at the door and escorting
her away from the attention of the vulgar, his hand at the small of her back,
as usual.

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