By ga
garrull@yahoo.com
 

Rating: G, I think, now that you're allowed to say "piss off" on television

Spoilers: Everything

Category: VH

Distribution: Just tell me where

Disclaimer: If they were mine, I'd probably forget to water them

Summary: Lessons in religion from the X-Files

Acknowledgements: The question below comes from an actual test at gutter girl Olivia's high school somewhere near Toronto. To all the gutter gals, even though this is rated G <g>. This was a quickie improv.
 
 

"Based on the information you gathered in the course, write a 7 paragraph essay explaining how your view of God has changed the way you live with those around you as well as those who are very close and special to you."

CSM said that there is no God; there are only aliens. But he lies all the time AND he was talking to Marita when he said it.

Mulder used to pick on God a lot, but he mostly did that to piss Scully off. He did say once recently that there is no God, but he was REALLY REALLY upset at the time, and I think he changed his mind. Mulder rose from the dead, but it took him three months instead of three days so that would make him 1/30th of God.

Scully believes in God, although there was a while there where she wasn't sure why she was wearing her cross. Maybe it was to remind Mulder to piss her off. But Mulder wore the cross sometimes too, and he might be Jewish; we're not sure. Anyway, Scully asked her mother why she wore the cross and her mother sent the priest to remind her. She must remember now because she says "Oh, my God" when she gets really excited.

Mulder and Scully have changed the way they live with those around them; they live together now. And they have a baby too, who is special to them even though the aliens didn't seem to want him. The baby lives with them also.

The baby was born in a messy house because it's hard to find a manger in the 21st century, even in Georgia, and they didn't have any animals either so Reyes had to sing whale songs. The messy house was in Democrat Hot Springs so I guess that makes the Democrats the chosen people.

Mulder followed a really cheesy star to get to the messy house so that sort of makes him a wise man but we already knew he is really smart, except for the thing about sticking his hands into stuff he shouldn't. Besides, wise men come in threes and they already had the Lone Gunmen--I guess that explains why Jimmy Bond is not too bright.

CC seems to like playing god even though it was DD who was in Playing God, and now both he and Angelina Jolie have different movies out. CC seems especially to like playing "God giveth and God taketh away," especially the taketh away part. He finally giveth and let Mulder and Scully have a real live with tongues kiss, but just to be a brat he did it at the one time in Scully's adult life when she absolutely, positively can't have sex.

PS Did I pass the test?