Date: 21 Jun 2001
Rating: G, I think, now that you're allowed to say "piss
off" on television
Distribution: Just tell me where
Disclaimer: If they were mine, I'd probably forget to water
Summary: Lessons in religion from the X-Files
Acknowledgements: The question below comes from an actual
test at gutter girl Olivia's high school somewhere near
Toronto. To all the gutter gals, even though this is rated
G <g>. This was a quickie improv.
"Based on the information you gathered in the course, write
a 7 paragraph essay explaining how your view of God has
changed the way you live with those around you as well as
those who are very close and special to you."
CSM said that there is no God; there are only aliens. But
he lies all the time AND he was talking to Marita when he
Mulder used to pick on God a lot, but he mostly did that to
piss Scully off. He did say once recently that there is no
God, but he was REALLY REALLY upset at the time, and I
think he changed his mind. Mulder rose from the dead, but
it took him three months instead of three days so that
would make him 1/30th of God.
Scully believes in God, although there was a while there
where she wasn't sure why she was wearing her cross. Maybe
it was to remind Mulder to piss her off. But Mulder wore
the cross sometimes too, and he might be Jewish; we're not
sure. Anyway, Scully asked her mother why she wore the
cross and her mother sent the priest to remind her. She
must remember now because she says "Oh, my God" when she
gets really excited.
Mulder and Scully have changed the way they live with those
around them; they live together now. And they have a baby
too, who is special to them even though the aliens didn't
seem to want him. The baby lives with them also.
The baby was born in a messy house because it's hard to
find a manger in the 21st century, even in Georgia, and
they didn't have any animals either so Reyes had to sing
whale songs. The messy house was in Democrat Hot Springs so
I guess that makes the Democrats the chosen people.
Mulder followed a really cheesy star to get to the messy
house so that sort of makes him a wise man but we already
knew he is really smart, except for the thing about
sticking his hands into stuff he shouldn't. Besides, wise
men come in threes and they already had the Lone Gunmen--I
guess that explains why Jimmy Bond is not too bright.
CC seems to like playing god even though it was DD who was
in Playing God, and now both he and Angelina Jolie have
different movies out. CC seems especially to like playing
"God giveth and God taketh away," especially the taketh
away part. He finally giveth and let Mulder and Scully have
a real live with tongues kiss, but just to be a brat he did
it at the one time in Scully's adult life when she
absolutely, positively can't have sex.
PS Did I pass the test?