Rotten Influence

By David Hearne
ottercrk@sover.net


Classification: Post-ep for "Hell Money"

Rating: PG-13

Distribution: Can go anywhere.

Date:   Mon, 30 Oct 2000

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Website is located at http://members.dencity.com/hearne

AUTHOR'S NOTE: My favorite moment in "Hell Money" is when Scully makes a
bad joke during an autopsy and Mulder smiles while wincing at the same time.
This story is kind of an expansion on that moment.

By the way, there really is a drink called Otter Creek Copper Ale. It's
brewed right here in Middlebury. Good stuff.

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Mulder was shocked.

No, that was too strong a word.

He was a *little* shocked. Just a little bit.

It was an illogical reaction. Why should the sight of Scully greeting him at
the door with a bottle of beer in her hand surprise him? He had already
figured out that Scully had an occasional beer, but she would never drink to
excess.

Yet there she was -- holding a beer in her hand while dressed in jeans and
an old sweater -- and the sight of her was upsetting his balance.

She saw the peculiar look on his face. "Mulder, what is it?"

He shook his head slightly. "Nothing. I just wanted to drop these off..." He
held up a few folders.

"Oh, sure. Come on in."

He hesitated. Again, he couldn't explain why. However, he said "sure" and
walked through the doorway.

"You've never been in my apartment before, have you?" Scully observed,
closing the door.

"Uh, yes, I have actually."

"Oh, that's right."

"It's just never been..."

"Right."

"...under casual circumstances."

Scully nodded and inserted the mouth of the bottle into her own mouth.

Mulder stepped further into the apartment, looking around them. "It's pretty
much what I would expect."

"And what's that?" Scully asked, after swallowing another mouthful of Otter
Creek Copper Ale.

"It's attractive and tasteful. Everything neatly arranged. And clean. All
the colors blend together in perfect balance..."

"Hmmm."

"...and there's porn on your VCR."

Scully walked up to Mulder who had come to a dead stop in her living room.
His eyes were fixed on the television. The VCR was on pause. Stretched
across the screen, a woman with a high stack of blonde hair was rearing
back. Her thick breasts were pushed forward while the hand of an unseen male
groped one of them. Her brightly glossed mouth was making a round O. Dark
blue eyeshadow was spread on her closed eyelids.

Standing behind him and looking around his body, Scully asked, "Are you sure
that's porn, Mulder?"

"Scully, even if I didn't recognize that woman as being Regina Scarlet, I
know porn when I see it."

"From a single frame? For all you know, that's one of those foreign art
flicks."

"If that was so, the woman would have dark hair, pale skin and a bad case of
ennui. What I want to know is -- what's porn doing in your VCR?"

Scully shrugged. "I was curious. I've never seen a porno before." She lifted
the bottle to her lips.

"I can understand that. What I can't understand is why you're not
embarrassed over being discovered."

Scully coughed, almost gagging on her beer. "Excuse me? Mulder, there is no
blacker pot than you right now."

"Well, you're small enough to be a kettle. Seriously, Scully, I...I wouldn't
expect you to be so cavalier about this."

"How am I supposed to be?"

"Uh...a little ashamed? Something closer to Catholic behavior?"

"First of all, Mulder, not all Catholics are crippled with perpetual guilt.
Second of all, I'm a lapsed Catholic." She paused. "Well, semi-lapsed."

"Okay. How about just being Dana Scully?"

"And who is she supposed to be?"

"Someone who doesn't watch porno while drinking beer. Someone who would feel
embarrassed over being caught like that."

"Well, I disagree. I'm not embarrassed because I know I'm neither alcoholic
nor perverted. I'm merely...curious."

Mulder studied her, then looked away and grinned. "I've been a rotten
influence, haven't I?"

"What do you mean?"

"You walked into my office as a virtuous, upright woman. Three years later,
you're making bad jokes during autopsies and watching pornography."

Scully laughed. Mulder realized that it had been a long time since he had
heard her laugh.

"Mulder," she said. "it amazes me how you manage to make everything about
yourself."

"And this isn't the case here? Tell me, Agent Scully -- would you have even
thinked about watching a Regina Scarlet film before you met me?"

"I have...been curious about such things in the past."

"But after a few years of hanging around with me, you finally decided to
watch one."

Scully thought about that, then said, "Okay. You're right. I wanted to see
what you found so fascinating."

Mulder nodded in satisfaction. Both he and Scully were quiet for a moment.

Then he said, "So what do you think?"

"Well...putting the contrived plot and bad acting aside..."

"Bad acting in a porno film? Really?"

"...what struck me is the kind of women who seem to get featured in such
films or on the cover of Playboy. They're really not attractive at all."

Mulder put on a expression of shock. "Blasphemy."

"Too much makeup. And look at that hair..."

"Uh, I can't see it from this angle."

"The hair on her head, dummy. Her skull, I mean. How much spray must be in
it? If you stuck your hand in that hair, you would have to chew it off at
the wrist to get free."

"Well, okay, but if you take away that, you still have an attractive woman."

"Oh, yeah. Look at that skin's weird tan. Did someone inject dye into her
cells? Let's not even speculate about the breasts and the lips. This isn't
beauty, Mulder. It's a simulation of beauty -- a commodity that can be
digested..."

"Uh-oh."

"This is what pornography does, Mulder. It transforms sexual desire into
something more easily manageable for consumers."

"Here we go," Mulder said, rolling his eyes. "The whole PhD dissertation on
porno. I've heard this before, Scully."

"Well, look at it this way. Would you rather have Hugh Hefner's money or all
the babes hanging around his mansion?"

"Um..."

"You would rather have both, right?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

"People think Hefner's cultural status is all about the sexual revolution of
the seventies. It's more about the age-old fantasy of the good life -- the
idea that a millionaire's existence is free from care and stifling rules.
That's what men try to plug into when they watch porn."

"You mean...they want to be rich, not just turned-on."

"Right."

The frozen woman suddenly went into motion as the pause feature turned off.
"Oh, oh," she declaimed as she rocked back and forth. Mulder and Scully
watched her for a few seconds.

"Then, again," Scully said. "it could be just because you guys are horny."

"It's a possibility," Mulder admitted, then he picked up the remote control
and turned the VCR off. "I take it you didn't find this very arousing."

"Not really, no. Watching it was a bit like watching professional wrestling.
Your initial curiosity gives way to a numbness in the brain."

"Interesting comparison. Some would say professional wrestling is the
mainstream's gay porn."

"Let's...not get into that, shall we?"

"Agreed."

It became quiet again. Then another odd look came to Mulder's face. "What is
it?" Scully asked.

"You're my role model," Mulder said. There was no sarcasm or irony in
Mulder's face. He was making a flat statement of facts.

Scully stared at him. The bottle felt slippery in her hand. "What brought
that on?" she asked. "Why did you just say that?"

"You don't have to try to be good. You *are* good -- good in a way that's
not fussy or complicated or labored. You're just...who you are. I often feel
like I'm fighting against my worst instincts. When I get like that, I turn
to you for guidance." He paused, then said, "Even if I have soiled you a
little."

Scully was tempted to make a flippant remark, but decided not to do so.
Instead, she said --

"You haven't been a rotten influence, Mulder. I have changed a little over
the years and for the better."

"In what way?"

"Maybe I am 'naturally' good, though I doubt anyone is. But that doesn't
mean anything if you aren't willing to test that goodness -- to test
yourself. That's what I learned from you."

"If that's true...then thank you."

"You're welcome."

Mulder took a long breath, then said, "You know...I don't just watch porno
flicks."

"You mean, you also watch old monster movies, WWII dramas and Bill Murray
films?"

A smile appeared on Mulder's face. "Scully, let's say we return that dirty
old movie and go rent a real film like 'The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms.' Or
'The Dirty Dozen.' Or 'Stripes.'"

Scully considered this, then said, "Okay. But I'm drawing the line at Chevy
Chase."

"You got it."

As they headed for the door, Scully said, "After tonight, maybe I can pick
the movie."

"Like what?"

"How about 'Lamerica?'"

"What's that?"

"It's an Italian film about post-Communist Albania. The director is Gianni
Amelio. His style is highly reminiscent of the old neo-realists."

Mulder looked at Scully and said, "Just how much *have* you had to drink?"

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