By Spangle
spangle1013@msn.com

Category: MSR Angst M/S/D friendship
Doggett POV
Spoilers: Missing scene from 'The Truth'
Rating : PG13 for foul language
Disclaimer: The characters within aren't mine,
yadda yadda yadda!
Dedications: For Sallie and all on the
'Believe the Truth List,' thanks for making
me so welcome :)
Summary: Doggett was first into Mulder's
cell during the jail break...you don't think
maybe it was *his* idea do you?
Feedback: Could ya?  I'd be ever so grateful.
spangle1013@msn.com
Archive: Yes of course, just drop me a line.
 
 

Waiting.  Fuck I hate waiting.  The atmosphere
in this apartment is oppressive; there isn't
a person here who doesn't know what's about
to happen, yet waiting for the actual
confirmation is killing all of us.

I've had so much coffee this evening I'll
be peeing brown, and the caffeine has me
wired.  Too wired for me normally, but I
know I'm gonna be the one who has to actually
*tell* Scully the news, so I keep drinking.
Anything to keep me from pacing a hole in
the hardwood floor.

Monica keeps shooting me these sympathetic
glances, full of concern and something more.
I don't want to name the 'something more'
just yet; not when I'm about to break Agent
Scully's already fragile heart.

God, hasn't she been through enough?  This
past couple of years should have been enough
to break anyone, yet she's survived.  She's
hung on tenuously at times, especially the
months we believed Mulder was dead, but she
hung on.  At least she had a part of him, his
son, to cling to.  Now...fuck I hate waiting!

The sudden sound of the phone ringing, breaking
the stillness, the silence we've been sitting in,
momentarily parallizes us all. I recover first.
No way I'm letting Scully answer that phone, and
I find myself in motion, each step across the
floor filling me with this awful, cramping, feeling
of doom.

"Hello."

"It's over Agent Doggett, verdict is dea..."

Skinner's voice on the line breaks with emotion.
Hard to believe, but I think my ex-marine boss
is fighting back tears; he pauses a second and
tries again.

"Death.  By lethal injection."

"I'll tell her."  It's all I can say before the
line goes dead, but not before I hear a muffled
sob from his end.

"Who was it?"  Scully's voice behind me asks, but
I know she knows.

"Skinner."

"Agent Doggett?"

I'm going to have to do this.  I'm going to have
to force myself to turn around and tell this
brave woman, this woman I care deeply for, the
last thing on earth that she wants to hear.

When my eyes meet hers I see, amazingly, a tiny
spark of hope remaining in her deep blue eyes.
I stabs me right in the heart, and I try to keep
my voice soft, try to get my mouth to form the
words that will kill that light I see.

"Death by lethal injection."  I got it out,
I'm not quite sure how, and I wait, and watch,
and bear witness to something like the end of
the world.

Dana Scully sucks in a breath, then another;
those beautiful eyes fill with tears and
perfect lips begin to tremble.  One hand comes
up to cover her face, to shut out the words
I've just told her.  The other one follows.

Her sobs are quiet at first, and then something
inside her gives, something that has held strong
through everything I've been by her side to see.
Right in front of my eyes I see her hope die.  She
lets go of it, like a helium balloon set free.  She
breaks down completely, sobbing harder than I've
ever seen anyone cry.

I glance up at Monica, and see instantly she feels
as helpless as I do, and I feel helpless.  I can't
stand to stay and intrude on her grief, I can't
stand to leave her alone with it.  The end result
being I turn my back to her again, and cowardly
allow Monica to go to her instead.

I hear Monica muttering senseless words of comfort,
and I'm struck by a thundering realization...this
is IT.  This is it for Scully; if she loses him
now it WILL kill her, and I'll be damned, damned
to hell if I just stand by and let it happen.

All my life I've pretty much followed the rules, I'm
in law enforcement for crying out loud, but now,
with what I've seen, what I now know, I think the
time has come to throw some rules away.

Mulder's trial was a farce; a charade, and a painful
one at that.  It was patently illegal. How can a
civilian be tried in a 'Military' tribunal?  No
due process, no lawyer, no jury of his peers; no
fucking 'murder' victim for God's sake...and I'm
supposed to let them execute him now?  I'm
suddenly tired of bending over and taking it.  Like
I told Mulder earlier in all of this, "let's
shove it up THEIR asses!"

I turn back around to face her, knowing I'm going
to have no regrets.  My career isn't important,
following the rules isn't important...all that
matters is doing what's *right*.

I bend down next to Monica, and with one look at
me she smiles and nods.  Haven't quite figured
out how she always seems to know what I'm thinking,
but I confess I like it.  Her nod tells me she's
onboard, and I reach out for Scully's hand, tugging
it from her face I speak firmly to get her
attention.

"Scully.  Scully.  Scully, listen to me please."

On the third utterance of the name he calls her, her
eyes, still streaming tear after tear down an
already soaked face, meet mine.

"We're going to get him out of there; now, tonight."

She stares at me, and I'm about to repeat my vow to
her, when suddenly the light of hope that had died
re-lights in her eyes, and the fingers of the hand
I'm holding grip mine tight.  With my free hand I
reach into my jacket pocket for my cell phone, speed
dial 3 and wait impatiently for Skinner to answer
his phone.

"Skinner."

He sounds weary.  He'd better be up for this.

"Sir, it's Agent Doggett...I need to speak to you
about some 'unauthorized action'."
 

END